Help meeeeeee

chefambermarie
chefambermarie Posts: 8 Member
edited September 2016 in Motivation and Support
I'm a chef, sugar/food addict, and my thyroid is low functioning. I try so hard to restrict and exercise lots, but I get discouraged at the lack of results and triggered at work...and end up flying off the rails. Also, I'm very isolated with virtually no support or accountability. Worst of all, because I've been struggling so much the last year or two, I can't even believe it's possible for me to lose the weight I gained from overeating (again) and keep it off for more than an hour. It's only 10-15 pounds I keep taking off and putting on, but it's demoralizing and feels like it might as well be a million pounds. Maybe I'd prefer that so then at least people wouldn't minimize my pain all the time. I don't feel good about myself and there's no improvement now since I returned from Europe (where I gained of course) in early July. I don't want to date or go anywhere. I don't want to be photographed or seen. I don't want to look in the mirror. I would love prayers, accountability buddies, random encouragement, or a hug.

Replies

  • rockandrope
    rockandrope Posts: 3 Member
    The only person that decides what you put in your mouth to eat is YOU. Until YOU decide to take control of what you eat nothing will change.

    If it helps..... it gets easier the further you go.
  • Michellewintzlo
    Michellewintzlo Posts: 6 Member
    It takes time, discipline, and a lot of self awareness to get what you put in your mouth under control. I hate having my picture taken, but my son has been snapping them for his 'memory book' and he snapped one while I was eating on the couch. It was kind of mortifying, but I keep the picture bc I don't intend to look like that for long! Take pics, seek inspiration, increase your activity, seek an exercise partner. My bff lives 3 hours away, and we walk for an hour and talk on the phone as many days as possible. Having someone going through a similar struggle really helps. I have found that what it also boils down to is making one decision at a time. I decide to go walk & if I don't I know that the next day I may regret it. I decide not to eat that extra walnut or piece of candy or second helping of noodles. I wish you much success on your journey!
  • CattOfTheGarage
    CattOfTheGarage Posts: 2,745 Member
    Sounds like you are in a very tough place right now. We are rooting for you. You can lose the weight, you will get there, but for now you need to give yourself some TLC, I think. Love yourself where you are at. Get out there, have some fun, call up some old friends, so something you enjoy for the sake of it. There is hope.
  • Sinnister78
    Sinnister78 Posts: 134 Member
    You can do it! These types of bumps in the road are normal. But it sounds like you are on the right path. You can self analyze and diagnose as far as your triggers go. That's a big deal. The commitment will come, just don't give up.
  • RunawayCurves
    RunawayCurves Posts: 688 Member
    edited September 2016
    I also identify as processed sugar/ junk food addict. I have been in 12step anonymouse food addiction group and know from them that people 5lb or 300lb away from where they want to be can be severely distressed and have very similar body image issues. It takes a lot of resolve to get it under control. I have seen people do it though and believe it is within reach.
  • chefambermarie
    chefambermarie Posts: 8 Member
    Yes I did have many years abstinent in food recovery program and had cured my thyroid fasting a few years back - which saved my life but led me off the food plan that was keeping me sane. I don't regret it but can't seem to get back on...for personal reasons, I dont feel safe at the local 12 step groups anymore. Also, it doesn't seem like anyone read my post - I work out 5 or more days a week for 2 hours each time...doing yoga on off days. And I've been eating very very low calorie for months - with occasional blips - and losing nothing. No carbs hardly at all. (Don't go by my log necessarily - I haven't been perfect with it bc no one looks at it but me).
  • chefambermarie
    chefambermarie Posts: 8 Member
    I have lost the weight a couple of times but it just comes right back...not from healthy portion sizes I assure you...I do eat very healthy foods just wayyyyy too much. And I wish it was simply a matter of not wanting to...trust me, more than anything I'd love to not overeat today.
  • rockandrope
    rockandrope Posts: 3 Member
    chefambermarie wrote: »
    I work out 5 or more days a week for 2 hours each time...doing yoga on off days. And I've been eating very very low calorie for months - with occasional blips - and losing nothing. No carbs hardly at all.

    Sorry but same old same old. If I had a €/£/$ everytime I heard an overweight person say " I eat hardly anything, exercise all the time but I'm still fat" I'd be very rich. Stop kidding yourself.
  • RunawayCurves
    RunawayCurves Posts: 688 Member
    edited September 2016
    I lost weight when i was in the 12 step food addicts in recovery anon group and I gained it all back when I left. Returning to the group is not an option for me either. I also have done all sorts of food plans and exercise regimes. What is apparent for myself is the difference between my efforts outside of that group and what I was doing when in the group is consistency. My sponsor and fellowship meeting and phone calls were enough to keep me motivated to consistently follow the food plan my sponsor gave me. I do not necessarily think I need to be on that food plan or return to group but I do need consistency of eating balanced food within calorie target every day. My body responded well to consistency. When I keep messing around trying different things and intermittently binge eating and going over calories it throws everything out of rhythm.
    This is what I retain from the group and am trying to implement in my life
    Eat real good quality varied food
    Eat 3 meals a day at regular times or as close as you can get
    Eat a wide variety of fruit, veg, meat etc
    Drink plenty of water
    Weigh and measure food to ensure accuracy of portions and be realistic in estimating meals eaten out
    Do all of the above every single day. 1 bad day of eating can take many days to undo, it only takes a few bad days here and there to undo the results of good ones.
    Do not weigh self more than once a month

    I love walking, I was walking up to 16 miles a day in May. I fainted while out walking in June because I was eating so little. I often exist on salad. On paper you might think I am describing an anorexic but I am well over 300lb. How can that be? I remain over 300lb because in between obsessively walking and existing on salad I have bad days where I eat whatever I want and those bad days are bad enough to undo it all. Consistent balanced eating and activity is the only way to be well. Living on salad then binge eating does not work for me or anyone.

    My sponsor used to tell me that I had to earn my bodies trust by feeding it healthy balanced accurately portioned meals every single day over a long period of time. Only then will my body function properly and naturally be a healthy size. She was right. Only I can put that in to practice. No one can do it for me. I would join some groups and threads on here to help with accountability but ultimately we are each only accountable to ourselves. Hugs
  • chefambermarie
    chefambermarie Posts: 8 Member
    i agree - i need some calories every 2-3 hours or I go into some kind of hypoglycemic thing that sets me up to overeat to calm down. my food plan has me eating 6 times a day.
  • KristinHR01
    KristinHR01 Posts: 51 Member
    chefambermarie wrote: »
    Yes I did have many years abstinent in food recovery program and had cured my thyroid fasting a few years back - which saved my life but led me off the food plan that was keeping me sane. I don't regret it but can't seem to get back on...for personal reasons, I dont feel safe at the local 12 step groups anymore. Also, it doesn't seem like anyone read my post - I work out 5 or more days a week for 2 hours each time...doing yoga on off days. And I've been eating very very low calorie for months - with occasional blips - and losing nothing. No carbs hardly at all. (Don't go by my log necessarily - I haven't been perfect with it bc no one looks at it but me).

    Please read the book "Thinner, Leaner, Stronger" by Michael Matthews. You don't need to spend 2 hours at the gym. You need to eat (at a deficit using MFP diary) and do weightlifting and some cardio. Please read the book, it's eye opening and will help you. Add me as a friend here too.
  • mattro7703
    mattro7703 Posts: 33 Member
    First up heres a hug... <3 Add me as a friend if you want. You CAN do this. Self belief is a powerful thing. Maybe get a second opinion from doctors re your thyroid problem. Reach out if you need support or motivation. We're all in this together.
  • SLLeask
    SLLeask Posts: 489 Member
    Think about yourself in the third person for a moment. You're a chef, you have food skills, if you had a friend who loved sugary foods but was overweight that came to live with you and begged you for help, what would you cook for them? Something that tasted good but ticked all the boxes for healthiness. I am sure you could do it for someone else, now it's time to do it for yourself...

    Also, you said you had low thyroid function but "cured" it. You can't "cure" a dodgy thyroid. You may have hypothyroidism which may make losing weight harder. When did you last have a blood panel done?

    Also, and now it's time to do the whole "cruel to be kind" speech. If you are hardly eating and doing a ton of exercise, you would be losing weight. You are NOT a special snowflake. As a chef you know how to weigh and measure things accurately, time to put your expertise into action. Also, you are almost certainly over estimating your calorie burns, tighten up on that too and only eat half back for a while and then adjust as you get more accurate.

    Time to pull your socks up and believe you CAN do this. Baby steps and you'll still get there. Good luck.
  • chefambermarie
    chefambermarie Posts: 8 Member
    Thanks for those of you leaving the supportive posts - I don't appreciate or need tough love right now. I'm hard on myself and very intelligent (this is the industry where I work - food/nutrition). And I really don't appreciate people accusing me of lying. Please find something else to do if you have nothing better to do than troll fitness pal to put people down! Lol
  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
    I am not a chef, but love to cook. I'm one of those guys who thinks he's an amateur chef because he bbq's a lot lol! But seriously, I love to cook all types of food, learn new recipes and techniques. It's part of how I gained so much weight in the last 20 years and ended up here in early 2015 120 lbs overweight. Food is one of my favorite things, especially food I prepared the way I like it.

    For me, I had to embrace change. I had to take a look at all of my own recipes and find ways to make them lighter and more healthy. Then I had to make myself stick to it until I liked them better the way I had changed them. You may not have that option if your customers expect things made the way you always do, but look for ways to make your food more healthy/lower calorie. It can't hurt and your customers may like it as well. Just a thought.

    There are a few recipes I refuse to change, because I love them the way they are, and they were passed down from close family, but I simply eat them less often. Most of the stuff I created myself over the years was easily modified though.
  • jahillegas_51
    jahillegas_51 Posts: 143 Member
    Many people have offered excellent advice, so I don't need to beat that drum. However as someone who walked through a very similar situation to the one you described, there is hope. Trust me, I was a broken as a dropped mirror. It was a mess suicidal, self-focused, self centered, no friends, etc.... but I made a recovery and I believe that you can too.

    I am happy to offer support when needed or answer questions whatever it may be.

    I certainly think that you are moving in the right direction, with taking action and seeking help. That was hands down my biggest downfall of all time with this. It is okay we are human, we all struggle. Strong reach for help to improve:)
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Eat 6 meals per day at a 250 cal daily deficit and you'll lose weight slowly and comfortably.

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