Does Anyone Else Ever Get This Feeling?

Options
realm69
realm69 Posts: 23
in Motivation and Support
I have lost 67 lbs so far on my weight loss journey. I started out at 234 and now I am down to 167. I work at a grocery store as a Manager and I see regular customers every day along with my other co-workers. I get probably 5-10 people every day telling me how great I look now that I have lost so much weight and I look so thin, etc etc. That should make me feel terrific, right? The only trouble is it doesn't! I know that my perception of my own body is completely different than what the world really sees but when people tell me how great I look all I can think about is what I see when I look in the mirror. I see all the fat that I still need to lose and I feel like a failure lately because I have lost every bit of motivation that I had. I only have 22 lbs to go to hit my goal weight, so you would think that I would be happy and geared up but it seems to be the opposite. Logically I know that the closer I get to my goal weight the slower the weight comes off, but I can't seem to stay focused and all these well wishers that compliment me every day just seems to make it worse. I have tried to take things one day at a time and "start over" on my healthy eating, exercising etc but every time I get a fresh start I just get overwhelmed and all those "emotional eating" habits come rushing back in. I know that this is turning into a bit of a rant, but I just thought I would throw it out there into MFP world and see if it struck a chord with anyone else or if it's just me.

Replies

  • kbeach08
    kbeach08 Posts: 184 Member
    Options
    I feel ya! seems the closer I get to my goal the more unmotivated I feel. You have done an amazing job with the 67lbs!!! Maybe thinking about what you have already done and not so much on what you have left will help? Good luck to you!
  • Jennyzfit
    Jennyzfit Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    Here's a tip for you.
    When you look into the mirror concentrate on the good parts. Think of what you have that makes you feel good. example: like a pretty smile, nice arms, whatever it may be. Look at yourself as a whole. Don't look at sections of your body. Then you may be able to see what other people see. You've lost 67 lbs and that's a great accomplishment. Concentrate on the positive and the neg's will slowiy dissapate. Just had to say.
    Hope your feeling better soon.

    :smile:
  • Jenny56dreams
    Jenny56dreams Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    Have you ever caught yourself wishing or wanting to be someone or something you're not? Have you wished for that "body type" or weight or hair color or skin tone? Maybe flawless skin or a flat stomach or even...a bigger booty lol. I believe that at one point or another we have all done that...including me. But the truth of the matter is that the hype about the "perfect body" was created by media. "This is what you should look like!" or "Do you want to look like this?!" This is all poo-poo. OWN YOUR BEAUTY. Everyone is different. Everyone has a different body type or hair color or eye color or skin tone. But the great thing about us all being different is that we all OWN our individuality. You are all beautiful, Handsome, Gorgeous, Unique. You have your own beauty. It's ok to be short or tall or thick or thin, it's ok to be dark or light or have short hair or long hair. The point is that you should be comfortable with yourself and OWN YOUR BEAUTY. Wake up one morning, put on something that makes you feel great, take a look in the mirror for (5 seconds) and say "Damn, I look good". No one will ever be able to sport your look and you should own that. I'm 5'0 and I used to wish I was 5'9. I used to wish I looked like a Victoria Secret Model, but then I realized that I wasn't born skinny and that god intended for me to be thick so I own my look now! OWN YOURS. :flowerforyou:
  • dawnrenee567
    dawnrenee567 Posts: 292 Member
    Options
    I get probably 5-10 people every day telling me how great I look now that I have lost so much weight and I look so thin, etc etc. That should make me feel terrific, right? The only trouble is it doesn't! I know that my perception of my own body is completely different than what the world really sees but when people tell me how great I look all I can think about is what I see when I look in the mirror. I see all the fat that I still need to lose and I feel like a failure lately because I have lost every bit of motivation that I had. I only have 22 lbs to go to hit my goal weight, so you would think that I would be happy and geared up but it seems to be the opposite. Logically I know that the closer I get to my goal weight the slower the weight comes off, but I can't seem to stay focused and all these well wishers that compliment me every day just seems to make it worse. I have tried to take things one day at a time and "start over" on my healthy eating, exercising etc but every time I get a fresh start I just get overwhelmed and all those "emotional eating" habits come rushing back in. I know that this is turning into a bit of a rant, but I just thought I would throw it out there into MFP world and see if it struck a chord with anyone else or if it's just me.

    While I'm not as close to my goal as you, I totally get the same feelings. It's like the more compliments I get, the more I want to self sabatage. Then I get upset about it, which makes me want to eat.. Vicious cycle that I'm really trying to work around.
  • icerose137
    icerose137 Posts: 318 Member
    Options
    I definitely see all the work I have left to do even though I'm almost 50% through the journey, but I don't let it discourage me. For every negative comment I have for myself, I have to offer 3 positive in return. I have to remind myself that these changes are for life and they're going to take time to get there, but they will come. I'm not on a diet, this is my life so that helps quite a bit. I don't deprive myself but I do take myself to task if I eat too much of something. Like this past week I wasn't home much and being a celiac I don't exactly have my choice of preprepared foods so it ended up being mostly chips and fruit while I was out and about. The salt got me on the scale but I knew it wasn't fat, merely water retention because I was sticking to my goals. My body has since shed that excessive water.

    Everything that I see that starts to discourage me, I flip it around to add more fuel to my motivation. If I see a picture of me that I think "Man, I look horrible, I'm still so fat." then I start saying "The next one I'll be less fat." And use it to be even more dedicated.
  • rtmama
    rtmama Posts: 403 Member
    Options
    That is a fantastic accomplishment! You should be proud.

    When I was losing, I tried not to focus on the weight loss (yeah, it was difficult, but I TRIED!) and just tried focusing on the fact that I was healthier. In other words, focus on health not weight loss.

    Good luck with the rest of your journey!!!
  • dougstevens
    dougstevens Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels
  • Kalrez
    Kalrez Posts: 655 Member
    Options
    I feel for ya, hun. I get that way sometimes too. I don't know if it's a weight loss thing for me, seems as how I haven't really lost enough to make that big of a difference yet. But I know that sometimes my boyfriend will compliment me, and I'll just think he's a big liar. Logically, I know that I'm not a hideous and blobby as I think I am. But logic doesn't always win.

    You're right, the scale does slow down as you get closer to your goal. Maybe track your inches and measurements instead of pounds for now. You could switch your focus from losing weight to toning up. The pounds will eventually drop, and by the time you reach your goal, you'll be tight and ripped!

    Have you rewarded yourself for coming this far? Maybe go out and get a pretty new outfit or get your hair done or get a manicure. Do something small that will help remind you of how awesome and beautiful and strong you are! You can get through this :)
  • bethany_22
    bethany_22 Posts: 203 Member
    Options
    I haven't lost as much weight as you, but yes I feel that way. I don't have much weight to lose, but over the past year I have gained a LOT of weight and I want it to come off. I was losing weight for a while and now I seem to have lost the "touch" of things. I am not exercising as much as I was, my eating hasn't been as healthy, and I just feel like plain CRAP!

    People compliment me and say that they can see a difference alreay and if I keep it up I will lose the weight in no time. But as you said, I look in the mirror and think wow wtf?! People are telling me I look better, but I'm not seeing it! When this happens I try to talk to people about it. I talk to my mom or my best friend. They always seem to help. Sometimes I come on here and rant for hours, but the people on MFP make me feel better about myself. And looking at a picture of what I want to look like and what I look like right now really helps. It makes me stop wanting that junk food.

    But don't be too hard on yourself. You have done an amazing job already! Having one bad day here and there is okay. We all do it. Just remind yourself every morning that you are almost there and you can do it! We all believe in you! Just keep telling yourself you can do it! That's what keeps me going (:
  • HappyathomeMN
    HappyathomeMN Posts: 498 Member
    Options
    I feel this exact way today! I caught a reflection as I walked out of the gym and it was a horrible feeling. All I could see was BAD- it's like the flaws were highlighted in neon. I have been working so hard, really giving it my all and staying on track for the last 5 weeks, but I keep looking through my "fat glasses".

    I let things get way out of control over the winter, I know it and I am working to fix it. BUT I don't know how to fix the mind problems and find the good. I might actually have to scan my "before" picture and put it next to a current one for a little perspective.

    I can say this though, you look gorgeous, especially in that wonderful shade of red! I don't know how to give you the mental edge to get through it, but know that you are not alone in this feeling!!
  • LosinMama2b
    LosinMama2b Posts: 85
    Options
    Totally! A friend of mine actually found this book to help me. Its called 101 Thing To Do Before You Diet....its pretty inspirational. I hope it helps!! (link to book preview below) It's only $2 on a kindle or iphone if you've got one!

    http://www.penguin.ca/static/pdf/previews/101Things_Ch1.pdf
  • Ritamas2
    Ritamas2 Posts: 319
    Options
    First let me congratulate you on your success, you have done amazingly!
    I have lost 100 lbs in the past and I can tell you that what you are experiencing is quite the
    norm!

    I couldn't figure out why eveyone always told me I looked good, when like you I still looked and felt
    fat, it's a mentality we have after years of eating the bad foods. At first, I just thought ok..these people all love me
    and are just being nice and encouraging, but then after a while, you come to realize hey..i have done GREAT!

    I don't know if that revelation comes in the form of you finally see through your own eyes what everyone has seen for months, or continuing to buy smaller clothes, that
    would surely have to click..right?

    Anyway hun, best of luck with meeting all of your goals, those last pounds will come off, they are a little harder, your body
    is tring to hold on to those because you have done so well losing! Keep up the fantastic work and kick things in high gear
    and you'll have your ultimate success!

    Please feel free to add me if you'd like :flowerforyou:
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
    Options
    I do this to myself TOO. I think we women are harder on ourselves than anyone else. But 67lbs is a FANTASTIC amount to have lost, and I'm sure it took a ton of work to get there. Do you have any before photos you can look at to help yourself out of that critical voice that's going in your head?? I didn't do any "before" stuff (photos or measuring) and now I'm regretting it, because that gives you the "facts" of how far you've come instead of the myth that you're telling yourself.

    Hang in there. You are doing SO well. Think of it this way -- that 22 lbs. is less than 1/3rd of what you've already done! Slow and steady, beautiful lady.
  • yes_i_can
    yes_i_can Posts: 419
    Options
    The last time I lost a lot of weight, I got tons of comments like that, which I liked at the time... in retrospect that was part of the reason I gained it back though, I believe (I've pin-pointed many reasons, and this is just one of them). My thinking is that all the comments, while nice, were keeping me in the mindset of an ex-fatty, rather than just the person I was. I even had friends introducing me to other people saying things like "Can you believe she's lost 85 pounds in the past year??" within 5 minutes of meeting them - I could never feel comfortable just being me rather than the girl that lost a lot of weight (which in my mind was followed up with "let's see how long -that- lasts!)

    So, this time around I've made the decision not to put too much of my self evaluation on what others say. I thank them for the compliment, but don't follow it up with a running tally of how much I've lost - I only really have a couple people (plus MFPals) that I talk to about the details.

    You know how much work I've done and how much farther you have to go. Take the comments at face value and don't let them play into your self-evaluation. That way you can focus on where YOU want to be, not where others think you should be...
  • travisjw18
    travisjw18 Posts: 5
    Options
    You have to think of everything as motivation. When people are telling you that you are looking good - think YES I am doing it, I am awesome, and I need to keep working hard. When you look in the mirror and don't like what you see - Think YES I need to hit the gym for an extra hour this week and keep to my calorie goals LOOK HOW FAR I HAVE ALREADY COME. You need to keep positive and work harder than every at this point in your weight loss. When you get bummed and start eating to much and losing motivation to workout, you will feel even worse about yourself. You will eventually like what you see in the mirror but you will never get there if you are unmotivated and unhappy. Find that motivation that you need and keep working hard!!!
  • Tree72
    Tree72 Posts: 942 Member
    Options
    I've definitely had feelings like this. I'm in a similar place; I've lost 75 pounds and have about another to 25 to go. Some days it's easy to see how far I've come, while others I can only see how far I still have to go.

    I definitely find that it can be worse when people notice than when they don't. It really makes it obvious that people are looking. It's much easier to focus on the negatives if you're reminded of your appearance all the time.

    When I'm having a difficult day I try to focus more on the things I can do now, or do much more easily, that I struggled with before. I'm much stronger and have more endurance. I don't feel so tired at the end of the day. This is real progress, and something to be happy about. Do you find your job easier to do? Do you have more energy and fewer aches and pains? These would be great reasons to continue making changes and not give into those old patterns.

    Best wishes on learning to see your own strength and beauty and continuing on your journey.
  • icerose137
    icerose137 Posts: 318 Member
    Options
    I did want to add that I think it's absolutely vital to have fitness goals and not just weight goals. By having fitness goals you can reach them even if the scale isn't moving as fast as you like. Have things that motivate you and that you can take pride in that have nothing to do with that extra tire you're unhappy with.
  • realm69
    realm69 Posts: 23
    Options
    I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone that commented! You all have no idea how much it means to me to have perfect strangers understand how I am feeling and want to help me succeed! I appreciate everyone's comments, advice and support.

Categories