what do you do with discouraging comments?
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My mom likes to say things like that because it makes her feel better about her own inability to lose weight. She's convinced herself that it's "impossible" to lose weight when you're older and will constantly tell me that.5
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I would laugh it off and say, "Wow, thanks for the encouragement." Good ole sarcasm.11
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I usually turn the conversation to the other person. "thanks for asking and I'm just going to keep working at it. How are you? Do you have any fitness/health goals?" I find people love to talk about themselves6
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We have all had those few that for some reason want to put us down or keep us down. Ignore all of the naysayers. Do what you need to do for yourself. I say *kitten* them0
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These phrases work (especially with a glare) and are G-rated so you can say them in the office. They work best if you say nothing else (no explaining).
Stop it!
Knock it off!
Enough!3 -
The guy is trying to tell you the ocean is purple. You KNOW you can reach your goals, the evidence is all over this site. I'll take the advice from a group that has walked the walk over random musings from a coworker, no matter how well intentioned he may be. When you do hit your goals and he inevitably hits on you, then just tell him you only date fit people.8
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Use one of my mantras "tell me I can't and I will show you I can"7
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i haven't read all the comments above, but the one immediately above is my real mantra. Hearing it from anyone that it's not doable, you can't do, not your body type or whatever negative they had to say sounded to me like i was challenged to prove them wrong, to show that once you set your mind on something, nothing can stop you.
i have researched, done trial and errors with workouts and nutrition, improved and prepared myself mentally to overcome all the roadblocks and get where i want to be. not there yet, but am on my way!3 -
I haven't told anyone my goal weight because I know they will tell me I'll be too skinny. So I just say that I'm taking it a little at a time and do not really have a specific goal I will know when I get there.4
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The thing is this. You can lose your weight. And you will..obviously you've done a great job. That co worker guy has a rotten personality and is negative. That is impossible to fix.5
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While I'd never actually tell someone my specific goal number and would go with a generic "I'll see how I feel when I get there", I also find a flat, unwavering, slightly raised brow stare does wonders. Just keep it up until they get uncomfortable and go away. Think:
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Throw it in the trash.0
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Hi, I have not posted here , but today I have a question for all you successful people out there. My weight loss journey has been going slow but steady. I had backslidden and gained some back, but I am back in Onderland and have lost a total of 75 lbs with 65 to go. I don't advertise my weight loss at work, but when I am asked, I answer questions. I have a colleague who asked me what my goal is and I told him 135 lbs, which I feel is reasonable for my height (I'm 5'4"). He told me I won't make that , I'll probably stall at around 170 and that's it. I kind of felt frustrated especially because I am so afraid to put the weight back on. Last year, the same colleague had told me, I probably have lost all the weight I could, because my body was used to the higher weight and has now a higher set point. I'm not sure why he says things like that, I don't think he has ill intentions, but I really don't know how to deal with such comments. They really demoralize me especially because this journey has not been easy for me. Sometimes it's been a daily struggle to learn this new life style. I try to think of all the people here that have achieved amazing results and I try to think " why shouldn't I be able to reach such a goal even at 52?" But comments like that make me doubt that I'll ever get there.
Do it for your self. I have Los A very noticeable amount of weight. I tell people I am trying to get to 20% body fat. Make sum fitness goals it will help you stay motivated. Good luck. Do it for yourself. You are #1 in your life1 -
That is such a shame that he is getting to you, sorry to hear that. Be proud of how far you have come! Try to surround yourself with positive people. Maybe he is insecure?2
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Try to come up with a few canned responses for people when they start asking questions that are none of their beeswax.
When people ask me how much I lost, or what my highest weight was, or what my goal is, I say "oh, I don't give numbers". When they ask how I've done it, I just say "the boring way" unless they're genuinely asking for advice, then I'm happy to give it in private.
Most of the time I find changing the subject to be effective, as well- sometimes I even pretend not to hear what they said.
I know that doesn't help you now, though. Try not to let what he said get to you- maybe you can even use it as fuel to prove him wrong!3 -
What an unkind co-worker you have. I would use the comment as an" What do you mean I can't? I'll show you" motivator. When he would repeat such a comment I would comment back' Oh wow thanks mate. You sure know how to demotivate people, have you ever been told that before? Ever such a charming habit/talent to have".6
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I would ask him when he got his medical degree and became a weight loss specialist? But on a less snarky note, you cannot let other people's opinions stop you from achieving your goals. Whether's that weight loss and fitness related or any other aspect of your life.4
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Dunno, I don't get discouraged by what random people say because their opinion means nothing to me. I've been known to challenge people I think are being intentional jerks because I don't like jerks, but that is more for my own entertainment.2
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jennifer_417 wrote: »People say things like that because they've convinced themselves that they're true...usually in reaction to their own or other's failures.
Bingo, the very first reply nailed it. Next time some insecure *kitten* says you can't do something just smile and think how good it will feel when you prove them wrong and you WILL prove them wrong. You absolutely can do this.1 -
They're jerks if they do that, don't let em get to you. You're doing great and I bet you get to 135 if you keep putting forth the effort. Probably best to not even tell them your goals, in fact. Pearls before swine etc. I deal with this stuff on a need-to-know basis, and the only one who needs to know is me.1
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