Is this a good thing?

rorymason · October 2016

So i have lost weight. Usually run around 236 and now staying between 203 to 205. It's been slow, but I have been feeling good about it. Was finally feeling like I had my head in the right place for the long haul it would take to do this, just plugging along, logging, not overthinking things, and losing slowly. Still have not been able to breach that 200 pound mark yet, but working on it. A few people have noticed, but not as many as I thought. I had wanted to get under 200 by the beginning of September due to an event, but didn't. Now the pictures taken of the event are back and ...

I'm horrified!

I want to cry everything I look at them. I can't stand the way I look ( and that's AFTER losing some weight).
Which makes me question why didn't I see myself like that when I was heavier and do this sooner.
Why did I allow it to get this bad in the first Place? I've been down in the dumps the past few days.
Is it a good thing that I am actually seeing myself as I really look to Others? I'm trying to wrap my head around it to get this to motivate me but my head ( which WAS in a good place) is grappling with the reality that I have likely 40 to 50 to pounds to go and am still in the morbidly obese range.

akf2000 · October 2016

Hey! don't be so hard on yourself, you're on the MFP forums so have recognised the issue and are conscious of it! You're in a very, very small % of people who've done this.

I too had the moment of epiphany when I saw some pics of myself, I just cringed and was so embarrassed. I started using MFP before I went on my 'diet' (which transmogrified into a change of lifestyle) so eased myself into it, just getting to grips with all the changes I'd be making.

Honestly there comes a tipping point with regards to people noticing; I had no comments for months (wasn't really looking for them) but suddenly one day everyone noticed, just out of nowhere.

That period immediately post-realisation that you have this mountain to climb and before you actually feel the results is the hardest but that time will pass, just wake up each day and kill it.

Therealobi1 · October 2016

Don't make yourself ill with all that thinking
Just make some mini goals to you get to your target
Be patient and never give up.
Good luck

brenn24179 · October 2016

when you get to wearing your clothes, down in the dumps will pass. Food is good but you find other stuff even better, wearing the clothes, confronting people, self respect, being successful and helping others.

schillewis · October 2016

When you lose weight because of "shame" and "disgust", you're in such a negative place...and that place is filled with anger and self loathing. When you lose weight because you LOVE yourself and want to IMPROVE your health and fitness and you recognize your WORTH, then you're in a positive place...and that place is filled with optimism, joy, courage, and support. Don't get sucked into the negativity. Be PROUD of the weight you've lost! Slow and steady is fabulous and you've already made a big dent in that goal. Stay positive...you can do this.

jbatinker · October 2016

I am in a similar situation as you. I started in February at 250 and have been hovering around the 200 mark for 6 weeks now. I was feeling good, new clothes, etc. but then when I look in the mirror I still have the "apron" around my middle. I am frustrated as well.

Someone told me the other day to not only watch the calories but the sugars and sodium as well. I went back through my diary and found that 4 out of 7 days a week I was over my sodium limit and sugars. I am trying to be more aware of those in my food intake.

Keep at it and we will both get there. We did not where we are over night and it will take a long time to get where we want to go. Our bodies will change (I hope) and we just have to keep at it.

rorymason · October 2016

Thank you for all your responses. I rarely post, but thought some support would help. I do feel that a lot of this has to do with your getting yourself mentally where you need to be in order to be successful. I felt like I was there and then was kind of thrown by the reality of the situation and the amount I still had to go. Maybe those pics were a kick in the butt I needed to not stop ie) get to under 200 and then go back to old habits. ( I did this several years ago, got to 196, thought I was skinny ,and went back up to 236). I really need to be around 140 to 150. It's also a matter of health.
Jbatinker: I agree. The sodium and sugar can make a big difference. I have been very good with the sodium, but could do better with sugars. It's something I will look at again.

goldthistime · October 2016

Photos are weird that way. I can take a look in the mirror and like what I see, then two seconds later, in the same lighting, same clothing, same pose, snap a selfie and be disappointed. And it's not just me. I discard many many photos of my friends because the camera just hasn't caught their beauty at all.

Chadxx · October 2016

I think seeing yourself objectively is a good thing but being overly critical isn't. You are taking steps to improve your health and you have lost weight. Those absolutely are things to be proud of. I let myself go a long time and made a lot of excuses until I was so disgusted with myself that I had to do something about it. I stepped on a scale and it said 328 pounds. I wanted to cry. I saw pictures of myself, especially next to my beautiful wife and felt ashamed of myself. Once I decided to do something about it though, that changed. I focus on how much progress I have made, how much better I feel, how much better I look, and how much better I will look and feel when I reach my goal. I think how nice it will be to look at a picture with friends and be the fit guy instead of the fat guy.

Don't fret about how far you have left to go. Just be proud of yourself for taking responsibility and doing something about it and for making a lot of progress already. You do have something to be proud of and WHEN you keep on doing what you need to do, you will reach your goals and it is worth it.

stephenmoralee · October 2016

rorymason wrote: »

So i have lost weight. Usually run around 236 and now staying between 203 to 205. It's been slow, but I have been feeling good about it. Was finally feeling like I had my head in the right place for the long haul it would take to do this, just plugging along, logging, not overthinking things, and losing slowly. Still have not been able to breach that 200 pound mark yet, but working on it. A few people have noticed, but not as many as I thought. I had wanted to get under 200 by the beginning of September due to an event, but didn't. Now the pictures taken of the event are back and ...

I'm horrified!

I want to cry everything I look at them. I can't stand the way I look ( and that's AFTER losing some weight).
Which makes me question why didn't I see myself like that when I was heavier and do this sooner.
Why did I allow it to get this bad in the first Place? I've been down in the dumps the past few days.
Is it a good thing that I am actually seeing myself as I really look to Others? I'm trying to wrap my head around it to get this to motivate me but my head ( which WAS in a good place) is grappling with the reality that I have likely 40 to 50 to pounds to go and am still in the morbidly obese range.

Hi, you have shed an awful lot of weight and you can shed the rest too.
I felt the same way as you do when i saw myself in mirrors,
Try the clothes on that you were waering when you were 236 Pounds, see and feel the difference, use that positive Feeling to motivate yourself to achieving futher Goals.
Never stop "wanting" that Goal you are working for.

You are not alone, there are millions of People worldwide that are not happy with their figure that do not do anythinf about it,

but you are one of the winners, you are getting there, you are working hard (and it is hard work i know)

Don't give up

Take care & God bless

Steve

elisa123gal · October 2016

Listen, your attitude of plugging along and not overthinking things was correct and right. Get back to that. So you need to lose some weight. Everyone does. Most every single person on this earth has gained weight and had to lose it at some point.
Also.. pictures? We know how we all can look wAAAAY worse in photos than in real life. So, maybe that was the case

Be proud of how far you've come. We all put blinders on when we gain.. and it is down day when they come off. Dust yourself off honey.. and stay on track.

rorymason · October 2016

Thanks to all for your comments and support. I appreciate it very much.

kgirlhart · October 2016

Did you have a new outfit for the event? I find that when you are still wearing your clothes that are too big you don't look like you have lost as much weight as you have. I didn't have many people notice my weight loss until I started getting some smaller clothes. But even if you had on a new outfit that fit well, sometimes you get a picture that doesn't look they way you want it to. I remember the first event I went to where pictures were taken when I was about half way through my weight loss and in some of them I looked terribly frumpy and was so disappointed. But then I realized that I did in fact look better than I did in pictures before I lost the weight, and also in a few of them my posture was terrible and contributed to my frumpiness. Don't worry. You will get there.

SnazzIT · October 2016

rorymason wrote: »

So i have lost weight. Usually run around 236 and now staying between 203 to 205. It's been slow, but I have been feeling good about it. Was finally feeling like I had my head in the right place for the long haul it would take to do this, just plugging along, logging, not overthinking things, and losing slowly. Still have not been able to breach that 200 pound mark yet, but working on it. A few people have noticed, but not as many as I thought. I had wanted to get under 200 by the beginning of September due to an event, but didn't. Now the pictures taken of the event are back and ...

I'm horrified!

I want to cry everything I look at them. I can't stand the way I look ( and that's AFTER losing some weight).
Which makes me question why didn't I see myself like that when I was heavier and do this sooner.
Why did I allow it to get this bad in the first Place? I've been down in the dumps the past few days.
Is it a good thing that I am actually seeing myself as I really look to Others? I'm trying to wrap my head around it to get this to motivate me but my head ( which WAS in a good place) is grappling with the reality that I have likely 40 to 50 to pounds to go and am still in the morbidly obese range.

Hi, I am in the exact same boat as you I keep losing and gaining the same 5lbs over and over and everytime I hit 220lbs I stall, and yes, the mind definitely has a lot to do with it. In the past I used to quit because it was easier, but as soon as I realized the battle was more in my head, I now, surround myself with things to keep me inspired...I have quotes stuck all around my PC, my home, my mirror anywhere, everywhere and especially my kitchen because I know that once my mind is strong, then my heart and body will naturally follow. Losing weight is not only a physical thing its about everything that makes us who we are. You can do it, and yes like you, I too want to cry that I don't look as good as I want to yet, being still very obese for my height, but I am also happy that I am not where I was when I started this journey. Our lives are like driving a car...the rear view mirror is smaller only because it is to guide us in our view of the larger front screen. What is behind us is not as important as the journey in front of us.

Keep it up and all the best

mysteps2beauty · October 2016

First of all, pictures are not always flattering. Why do you think actors are always watching their weight? The camera gives the appearance of an additional 20 lbs.

Second, be proud of the steps you have taken. Every day is a day full of choices. You have made more good choices than not. Keep plugging at it, and one year from now, you will not recognize yourself. We want so badly to make this a sprint, but it's not. As another poster stated, it's a marathon, a long journey, with lots of turns, hills, valleys.... A year of making good habits is great practice for the life long skill of maintenance.

So put the picture up where you can see it everyday. Motivation to continue. And keep coming to the Success Stories link. Some really jaw dropping transformations of people who have lost well over a hundred pounds. I read this link every day. So, keep at it! You count and you can do it!

fattothinmum · October 2016

Honestly, the hard bit is done. That's realising you want to feel better about yourself and beginning to do something about it. I've been a fairly slow loser for most of mine, but I've built awesome legs with my running. I can't say the same about my belly, but who cares, it looks fine covered with clothes.

At over 100lbs down, I'm sort of coasting before my final push to the end, which will take a while.

If you have a bad day, or couple of days, write it off. Log it correctly, then forget about it. The temptation to sort of say, what the heck, I've blown it now, I'm useless, can be strong. In the long game, a day or two of blown calories isn't going to stop your long term, as long as you don't let it run to weeks and months.

If you don't like those pics, just think about the ones you could have at the same time next year......

RandiNoelle · October 2016

I know what you mean. I was sitting at 250 for so long that what I saw in the mirror was so distorted from the reality of what was actually going on. I look back at some of the pictures and it makes me so sad.

What's important is to take a look at where you are now vs where you started. You've come a long way. Don't disregard the hard work it has taken you to get to 205. That's a major accomplishment. Keep pushing forward. Take new pics every 10 lbs lost. You're making progress.

jamesha100 · October 2016

I can relate to the way you are feeling. A few years ago I had lost 30 pounds and was feeling good then I did a charity bike ride with a few friends and of course there were pictures. Lycra is not flattering and I was with some skinny guys so I looked pretty bad by comparison. It did demotivate me for a while.

One thing that helped me out of this mindset was assembling things that weighed 30 pounds and then handling them when I felt down. I had a large suitcase stuffed with clothes, my mountain bike and a big toolbox. Picking up one of these items and thinking that I had lost that much very quickly made me feel good about myself.

HTH

EricaVSGJourney · October 2016

It's good AND it's bad.

The Good = You're being "real" with yourself. Facing the truth is really really painful... I know first-hand!
The Bad = Letting it consume you or define you. Or worse, derail you. DON'T!!!

I was heavy my entire life. At my highest, I was 228 lbs. I decided to have weight loss surgery in 2012... that was the road I went down (it's not for everyone). I know obesity. I know the pain. I know what it feels like to look in the mirror and see someone different than what appears in pictures.

It is only a moment in time. It isn't YOU. It isn't your future, it may not even be a good representation of your 2-dimensional past. You are much much more than a photo.

I did a bodybuilding competition last month (Sept-2016), and let me tell you... those feelings even come up at ALL stages of fitness and life.

The most important things you can do for yourself when you feel like this are:
(1) Be your best friend. Seriously. Never treat yourself worse than the person you most love in your life.
(2) Ignore the scale and pictures - just put your head down and keep chipping away at both the diet & exercise plan. Change will happen. Sometimes the body takes WEEKS to respond. It's okay. Just keep on going and don't worry about the day-to-day.

Good luck!!

girlwithcurls2 · October 2016

SO much good advice here. So many people who get it. Hang in there. as Erica said, those feelings will come up again. This isn't just physical work. It's mental and emotional too. Keep at it. You're doing great. Get back in that head space. You CAN do this. And when you do, just think where you'll be six months or a year from now! You won't recognize the person in those photos!!

rorymason · October 2016

Thanks for the support. I'm back on it and feeling back in control. I just think I got a glimpse of what I really presented as, and it was the realization of what people saw when they looked at me, which freaked me out a bit. Some people have 30 pounds or less to lose, others have more. I have a longer road.

Why I came to this realization now I have no idea, but I need to stay on course. I know it's still me inside all this exterior. Once I get rid of this emotional baggage ( in my case, excess weight) I'm hoping people will be able to see the real me.
I know what I'm like in here. I have been here all along.

Is this a good thing?

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