Newly broken up :(

Options
kgecik
kgecik Posts: 17 Member
in Chit-Chat
Anyone else? We were together ten months. He was a commitment phobe. We traveled together, I hung out with his family and was even going on a Christmas trip with them--he let them buy me a ticket--and he willingly hung out with my son.

Turns out he "didn't like me like that".

It hurts. Other than the whole couldn't tell me he liked me part we got along splendidly. :(
«134

Replies

  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry to hear you're going through a break up, that's really difficult. I'm going through one too, it's lonely and I hate it.
  • TK6299
    TK6299 Posts: 502 Member
    Options
    Going through one too... totally sucks.
  • alush08
    alush08 Posts: 14 Member
    Options
    kgecik wrote: »
    Anyone else? We were together ten months. He was a commitment phobe. We traveled together, I hung out with his family and was even going on a Christmas trip with them--he let them buy me a ticket--and he willingly hung out with my son.

    Turns out he "didn't like me like that".

    It hurts. Other than the whole couldn't tell me he liked me part we got along splendidly. :(

    I think you were dating my ex! Together a year did everything together with all of our kids (7 total between us) took me to Hawaii for two weeks this summer with his brother and sister. Then told me he decided he needed to work on him and needed to let me go because he wanted to be selfish and it wasn't fair to me...blah, blah, blah. I feel the pain. I allowed myself to trust him and love him. Now he is gone.
  • TK6299
    TK6299 Posts: 502 Member
    Options
    What is up with that? Ugh... Intentions up front my peeps.
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
    Options
    My head is a mess, how are you coping @TK6299 and @alush08 @kgecik?
  • SwoleyRoller
    SwoleyRoller Posts: 652 Member
    Options
    well that's pretty messed up. All that time and what? He thought you were just friends?
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Options
    Yes, two years in. I thought so highly of him. We got along, hardly argued. We moved in together after a year. A week ago (literally) started like any other day. Until I got home from work and he was gone. Nothing but a letter for me and each of my kids.

    Early that week we had talked about marriage. HE said in 4-5 months. Then he was just gone.

    I've been absolutely devastated, I keep dreaming of our normal life, I haven't slept well in a week. It's so upsetting and confusing. I feel so betrayed, my hopes and plans are just gone.

    I've been reading some really good books, and I started seeing a new therapist.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Options
    @kgecik that's what's so hard. We got along so well. It just was (or felt) so natural.

    @alush08 I was given the same basic reasons. I can't give you want you need, so bye Felicia.
  • kd_mazur
    kd_mazur Posts: 569 Member
    Options
    I've been there too. We were together for almost 2 years. I became close with his family and he with mine. One evening, we had dinner together and he took me back home. When we got to my house, he stated very matter of factly, that he had decided he was not interested in being a husband and a father.
    He had been the one who brought the idea of marriage up (quite early in the relationship) so it really hit me from left field!
    Time has gone on and I healed from that train wreck but it was not easy. Be kind to yourself and take time to grieve your loss.
  • kgecik
    kgecik Posts: 17 Member
    Options
    We teach at the same school. He did tell me pretty early on he had some issues regarding commitment. I knew. We were exclusive, hung out 3-4 times a week, went on several trips together. I gave him lots of space and never pressured. We had so much fun together. But he was never able to say "I really like you" let alone anything with love. He said saying that made him feel trapped. He's not a bad guy, just messed up. But I can't be with someone who can't at the minimum say he likes me. He's 40 so he should have known better. You don't show someone you like them through your actions and then tell them you don't like them. It's a total mind trip for me. Usually it's the other way around- they say they love you but their actions show otherwise.
  • Ploofs
    Ploofs Posts: 59 Member
    Options
    Sadly on the same boat. Was in a relationship for 10 months as well.
    I knew really early on in the relationship it wouldn't work out though but I would try to "fix" things. I should've gotten out fast but I ended up opening up to him (which is hard for me to do with anyone) so I ended up getting really hurt. It sucks :(.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    Options
    rebel_26 wrote: »
    generally if a guy just "poofs" there was or is someone else. Not being mean just telling you from a guys side...cant speak for why a female would do it but suspect the same.

    I wholeheartedly believe this.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Options
    I almost wish mine left for someone else. That's an easier pill to swallow then what I was left with.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    Options
    rebel_26 wrote: »
    generally if a guy just "poofs" there was or is someone else. Not being mean just telling you from a guys side...cant speak for why a female would do it but suspect the same.

    I second this.....
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    Options
    I have a friend that was in a 11 year relationship and the guy said this...
  • Pterod
    Pterod Posts: 131 Member
    Options
    I'm so sad and lonely, I have never been alone before.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    Options
    Get out there again :)

Categories