Maintenance Anxiety- Can Anyone Relate?
misscamp26
Posts: 18 Member
Hi folks,
I'm wondering if anyone else finds themselves getting overly anxious about maintenance. I've lost a significant amount of weight (120+ pounds) over a long period of time and now I'm trying to establish a healthier attitude about diet and exercise. I was successful in my weight loss by being incredibly vigilant and rigid, but it's become emotionally exhausting. I'm tired of being afraid that I'll regain weight if I vary my routine or expand my menu. I desperately want to relax and enjoy my healthy, strong body but I'm afraid that if I don't maintain the same intensity, the weight will come back. The statistics for regaining are terrifying! Has anyone else experienced similar anxieties? How did you learn a more moderate outlook and approach? Thank you so much for listening!
I'm wondering if anyone else finds themselves getting overly anxious about maintenance. I've lost a significant amount of weight (120+ pounds) over a long period of time and now I'm trying to establish a healthier attitude about diet and exercise. I was successful in my weight loss by being incredibly vigilant and rigid, but it's become emotionally exhausting. I'm tired of being afraid that I'll regain weight if I vary my routine or expand my menu. I desperately want to relax and enjoy my healthy, strong body but I'm afraid that if I don't maintain the same intensity, the weight will come back. The statistics for regaining are terrifying! Has anyone else experienced similar anxieties? How did you learn a more moderate outlook and approach? Thank you so much for listening!
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I've thought about maintenance every day for the last 2 1/2 years as I've shed 148 pounds. I lost weight when younger and gained it all back + so I obviously don't want that to happen again. It's too scary of a place to be. This time I have a plan to set a 5 lb maintenance range and start logging again if I should reach the top end of the range. I am fully aware that eating less, portion control and exercise MUST become part of life the rest of my life. If not, I will undoubtedly have to adopt other regimens to manage diabetes, arthritis, or any other diseases I could develop. Just as portion control and losing weight is all about moderation, so is maintenance. Yes I'm nervous about it, and I'm in my maintenance range now but haven't quite gotten to the low end yet. But I'm also looking forward to having a little more latitude in food quantity and not having the self induced pressure to lose lose lose. Honestly, it won't be that much more food than I currently eat (about 1700) because my rate of weight loss has slowed significantly and I'm losing only 1-2 lb per month the past 6 months. You can vary your routine and expand your menu, but you will likely still need to be aware of portion sizes and quantity. We can't eat and live the same way we did before, because those habits will get us right back to where we were. Sorry for the ramble, hope something in there helps a bit.9
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Great advice. Best wishes. I am halfway through my third attempt at this and I can imagine I will be in your shoes again soon. Wishing you all the best!1
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I am so with you on this one! My maintenance calories are about 2000, but I am actually consuming about 1600. Wish I could take the leap of faith.2
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I have this anxiety as well. I lost over 1/2 of my current body weight, and have kept it off for almost 3 years now by keeping tracking. I do not log as closely as I did while losing, but I do weigh myself every day and adjust my calorie intake accordingly. I was like you while losing, vigilant and rigid, but I did not deny myself any type of food. Basically just limiting my portion sizes. You are right, the statistics are staggering for regaining, and I too am concerned about regaining. Many people here on maintenance can maintain without logging, weighing, or measuring their food. I am pretty good at estimating, but I need the tracking to keep me @ maintenance. Just the way it is for me. Regaining is a legitimate concern for many, myself included. I will not allow myself to become the person (the size of 2 good sized people) I was, so I will keep monitoring.
Best of luck to you!2 -
I've maintained for close to 2.5 years now and I still panic every month when I get hungrier and have a hard time sticking to my calories.. worrying I'm never going to be able to stick to it at that rate and will end up gaining the weight back...
So basically my maintenance is around 2200 but I keep my goal at 1800, so at least I'm 'banking' calories on easier days to make up for the bad ones.2 -
I don't think mine is bad, but it's hard to see it from my perspective. I don't eat all my calories even though I feel the counts logged are accurate. I'm set to 1940 calories but I hit 2000-2100 a day and there's part of me that says "It's because it's warmer out and you can get time to purposefully exercise." It doesn't help that I don't have the ability to differentiate between "hungry" and "tastes good". When I was losing, I ate most of my calories because I wasn't going to leave them there when I could have a piece of food I've been wanting all day/week. Now I have to ask myself (sometimes out loud) "Am I hungry, or is it because there's calories on the table?"
I do have IDGAF days where I eat what I want in amounts I want (I still log those days). I've had 3 so far and it's hard to convince myself that the 5-6# gain is from all the food and high sodium in my system. I remind myself to have faith in the system and I know how to lose. I do have a top weight of 140# so I have leeway.2 -
I don't think mine is bad, but it's hard to see it from my perspective. I don't eat all my calories even though I feel the counts logged are accurate. I'm set to 1940 calories but I hit 2000-2100 a day and there's part of me that says "It's because it's warmer out and you can get time to purposefully exercise." It doesn't help that I don't have the ability to differentiate between "hungry" and "tastes good". When I was losing, I ate most of my calories because I wasn't going to leave them there when I could have a piece of food I've been wanting all day/week. Now I have to ask myself (sometimes out loud) "Am I hungry, or is it because there's calories on the table?"
I do have IDGAF days where I eat what I want in amounts I want (I still log those days). I've had 3 so far and it's hard to convince myself that the 5-6# gain is from all the food and high sodium in my system. I remind myself to have faith in the system and I know how to lose. I do have a top weight of 140# so I have leeway.
My father used to say (RIP dad) "if you have to ask yourself if you're hungry, your are not really hungry". Wait 15 minutes and the satiety feeling will show up.5 -
Marcelbaril wrote: »I don't think mine is bad, but it's hard to see it from my perspective. I don't eat all my calories even though I feel the counts logged are accurate. I'm set to 1940 calories but I hit 2000-2100 a day and there's part of me that says "It's because it's warmer out and you can get time to purposefully exercise." It doesn't help that I don't have the ability to differentiate between "hungry" and "tastes good". When I was losing, I ate most of my calories because I wasn't going to leave them there when I could have a piece of food I've been wanting all day/week. Now I have to ask myself (sometimes out loud) "Am I hungry, or is it because there's calories on the table?"
I do have IDGAF days where I eat what I want in amounts I want (I still log those days). I've had 3 so far and it's hard to convince myself that the 5-6# gain is from all the food and high sodium in my system. I remind myself to have faith in the system and I know how to lose. I do have a top weight of 140# so I have leeway.
My father used to say (RIP dad) "if you have to ask yourself if you're hungry, your are not really hungry". Wait 15 minutes and the satiety feeling will show up.
It doesn't. That's the problem.1 -
I'm not at maintenance yet but want to share that my youngest son weighed 350 (size 4-5X)as a senior in high school, he lost all his weight & went down to a size medium, he's now 32 & never gained it back
He did it himself. He used to eat a LOT, 3-4 eggs, hash browns, bacon,sausage, lots of bread every morning, large servings of lunch/dinner & snacks, but when he started to lose, he started by eating stir fry rice with lots of veggies, of all things ,most days, he would drain the fat on a paper towel and went to the gym, got into racquetball, went to the gym every day & walked when he could.3 -
The problem isn't the eating per se, it's the psychology of eating, I think. There's no way one is going to put on 50 pounds suddenly, without noticing (or even 20, or 10). The only way it is going to happen (absent a medical problem) is because we either opened the floodgates and binged steadily, or let it creep back up over time without intervening.
Either one of those behaviors is about discipline, and good habits. By losing so much weight, you've demonstrated that you're capable of discipline and good habits. Maintenance is the same thing, with a few more calories in your day. That's it.
I'm pretty new to this (only around 8 months). I bank calories most days - my daily goal is less than my estimated NEAT - and indulge sometimes. I have a plus-or-minus-3-pounds weight range. I still log pretty much every day (a handful of exceptions). For me, this set of habits creates some safe space where I can work on trying to learn how to maintain in a more relaxed, personalized, and confident way.
I recently went through a short period of mental wackiness, hit the top end of my maintenance range for a couple of days, and am now reining things in, using exactly the same kind of discipline & habits it took to lose in the first place.
Am I worried about gaining back? Ab-So-Lute-ly. But I think I know what I need to do to avoid it, and I know I have the skills. So do you.
P.S. I think it helped me to increase calories slowly from deficit: Add a hundred per day, wait a couple of weeks or more to see what my weight did; add more if it dropped slowly, subtract a few if it increased slowly; rinse & repeat. This way, there was no dramatic change all at once. I'd have a hard time telling you exactly when I started truly maintaining . . . it was "around" February, I think.7 -
From someone who has lost significant weight and gained it back, and lost it again -- I strongly suggest you continue weighing, logging and tracking. Let go of the anxiety (easier said than done, I know) but don't relax the good habits that have made you successful.
Take everything you've learned during your journey and keep doing it, just with a few more calories. Stay here, share your success with others and get support from this community as needed.7 -
Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to offer your words of wisdom and support. I have absolutely accepted the belief that these lifestyle changes are permanent and I'll always be committed to healthy eating and daily exercise. I expected that I'd work hard for the rest of my life, and that's ok. I know how to do that and I thrive on the challenge. What I didn't expect, and what's been so difficult for me, is the overwhelming fear. I knew I'd maintain my healthy lifestyle but I wasn't prepared to be so fearful of weight gain. I'm willing to do the work, I just wish I could do it without the endless doubts and anxieties. Maybe it's just a question of time, so that I can learn to trust myself. In any case, it is so helpful to know that others can relate and that I'm not the only one struggling with it. 4
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I'm thinking on this too. I have never in my life been at a point where I wasn't trying to lose weight. I'm within 15-20 lbs of my goal weight range (170-175) after weighing over 400 at some point. I did not think it attainable so it really never crossed my mind until I got below 200 lbs and into "one-derland". The one thing I know I won't do is treat this like the whole journey was a big dose of antibiotics....do it until you feel better then go right back to the other way. I won't quit logging I know that. I need to keep tabs on my nutritional intake and I guess the 5lb thing is a good idea too. Other tips?4
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misscamp26 wrote: »Hi folks,
I'm wondering if anyone else finds themselves getting overly anxious about maintenance. I've lost a significant amount of weight (120+ pounds) over a long period of time and now I'm trying to establish a healthier attitude about diet and exercise. I was successful in my weight loss by being incredibly vigilant and rigid, but it's become emotionally exhausting. I'm tired of being afraid that I'll regain weight if I vary my routine or expand my menu. I desperately want to relax and enjoy my healthy, strong body but I'm afraid that if I don't maintain the same intensity, the weight will come back. The statistics for regaining are terrifying! Has anyone else experienced similar anxieties? How did you learn a more moderate outlook and approach? Thank you so much for listening!
I'm glad you posted this misscamp26. I am feeling the same anxiety as I close in on my goal. I have lost 28 and have 9 to go, but I am already stressing about maintenance. Your comments mirrored my thoughts exactly. But you got some great advice in response, and I am going to "steal" it if you don't mind - LOL.4 -
I was so glad to see this post. I reached my goal one week ago (total loss 100 pounds from 249 to 149) and adjusted calories to maintenance. I was shocked to see it go from 1340 (1 pound loss a week as goal) to 1660. I don't know how to maintain all I know how to do is try to lose as odd as it sounds... I read on the boards how you may gain during maintenance and it terrified me.
Next week's weigh in I was down 2.6. I am going to try and take the advice from here. I think we are more anxious when it has happened to you before. While I never lost 100 pounds ( I was never as large as I recently was) I have lost 50 pounds by dieting, forbidding food, and working out five times a week which I detested and when I stopped boom. I did use MFP then but as mentioned not in a way I could continue. I know in my head and heart I am already miles ahead by simply making sure that it wa a lifestyle changes I could live with but that memory of gaining back the weight haunts me! I'm pacing around my kitchen now to reach my Fitbit walking goal because I weigh in tomorrow lol. Old habits don't die!
Anyway all that to say you are sooo not alone!4 -
Yes! In fact, when I first found these forums, the only category I read through was the "maintenance" one, and it's still one of the main ones I go to. I only have about 30 total pounds to lose, but I've gained and lost these pounds a few times already. So I know that maintenance is my problem, not losing. I've even lost weight in the past by counting calories (not using MFP), but something would always derail me after I got to my goal. So yes, I want to be diligent about figuring out what will help me keep up with maintenance once I'm there. I do believe MFP will help, and I'm pretty sure I will have to continue logging and counting calories for a very long time!1
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There has been a whole load of great advice here....
Keep tracking and logging. Some people feel lost when they are not looking for the number on the scale to drop and get discouraged. Make yourself a new goal -keeping the scale within a 5 or 10 lbs range.
Add your maintenance calories 50-100 at a time and see how this affects your body. You will get a little water weight gain and a little more food being digested, so yes transitory weight gain will happen. It is not fat!
If you haven't been already, really start seeing the size of your portions. This can help with having confidence that what you are eating is correct for you on those days you decide logging can't be as accurate as you would like.
Log for as long as you need to. You may decide it is the rest of your life, you may decide you can just weigh your food but don't need to log it any more, you may find after a time in maintenance that you can go by just weighing yourself and adjusting your intake to reflect your weight. (Keep track of TOM).
Learning how to maintain is as varied as learning how to lose. It takes time and there can be a few hiccups along the way. Don't get discouraged, get back on track.
I have been maintaining for over 6 years with a 5 lbs range that I have only been under or over a handful of times.
Once I reached by goal I continued logging for a few months, then slowly found I really didn't need to anymore. I would weigh my food, but enter it at the end of the day just to see how I had done. Once I was consistent in going by portion sizes and my body weight I stopped logging. Now I will log for a few weeks in a year just to check my portions, or adjust my calories if I have changed my exercise routines.
You have built all your good habits while you were losing. Maintenance is putting them into practice.
Cheers, h.1 -
Yep, I get the anxiety. I let myself overeat when I was on holiday for a week a few weeks ago and I'm still working on getting back down to where I was before I left.
I'm 6'3" so my BMI 'normal' weight goal is 203lbs. Before I left for my holiday I was ranging between 209-212lbs depending on the day and how much salt/sugar I'd had the night before and veeeery gradually trending downwards overall.
I was up to 219lbs immediately after my holiday and now, about a month later, I'm at 212-215lbs. I've been pretty good at sticking to my calorie goals (with exercise!) but a couple of wedding parties have meant that the extra pounds aren't coming off quite as quickly as I'd like.
Coming back to the anxiety, any time I gain more than a couple of pounds in weight I start to worry that it's the beginning of a 'death spiral' back into unhealthy eating habits. In particular now I'm so close to my goal weight I've allowed myself to eat sugary treats maybe once or twice a week (usually either rock cakes after a stressful day at work at 400kcals of deliciousness or three scoops of Baskin Robbins ice cream at the cinema) and I worry about that, but I can't quite bring myself to cut them since my weight has been pretty steady (albeit with minor fluctuations after a treat day).
Ultimately it's a matter of trusting the 'system' and keeping to the calorie counting, for me, knowing that a lot of times the weight gains are temporary and that a good night's sleep and a day or two of staying within my calorie budget will see me dropping a few pounds without any trouble.4 -
My doctor told me yesterday to stop losing weight and I'm seriously considering taking her advice. I'm terrified. I've been eating at deficit for two years now. Weight loss has slowed to a crawl with the scale moving every 5-6 weeks or so... so it sometimes feels like I'm maintaining already.
I'm afraid to eat more food. I will definitely follow some of the advice in this thread.3 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »My doctor told me yesterday to stop losing weight and I'm seriously considering taking her advice. I'm terrified. I've been eating at deficit for two years now. Weight loss has slowed to a crawl with the scale moving every 5-6 weeks or so... so it sometimes feels like I'm maintaining already.
I'm afraid to eat more food. I will definitely follow some of the advice in this thread.
I wouldn't eat more food personally if the scale only moves every 5-6 weeks anyway, personally... with Holidays coming and all.0 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »My doctor told me yesterday to stop losing weight and I'm seriously considering taking her advice. I'm terrified. I've been eating at deficit for two years now. Weight loss has slowed to a crawl with the scale moving every 5-6 weeks or so... so it sometimes feels like I'm maintaining already.
I'm afraid to eat more food. I will definitely follow some of the advice in this thread.
I wouldn't eat more food personally if the scale only moves every 5-6 weeks anyway, personally... with Holidays coming and all.
Well the thing is, we went on vacation and I didn't log. Ate what I wanted.
Came back and went through a whoosh where I lost two pounds.
I was going to take one of my regularly scheduled maintenance breaks during the holidays anyway.
I'm going to add in just the calories from a hard boiled egg this week and hold that for two weeks and see. I'll go from there with baby steps.0 -
@GottaBurnEmAll have you thought of just moving to the maintenance calories for your goal weight now and just letting those pesky last pounds fall off when they may?
It may be worth considering as your loss has slowed to a crawl and your planning on a maintenance break anyway.
Cheers, h.2 -
middlehaitch wrote: »There has been a whole load of great advice here....
Keep tracking and logging. Some people feel lost when they are not looking for the number on the scale to drop and get discouraged. Make yourself a new goal -keeping the scale within a 5 or 10 lbs range.
Add your maintenance calories 50-100 at a time and see how this affects your body. You will get a little water weight gain and a little more food being digested, so yes transitory weight gain will happen. It is not fat!
If you haven't been already, really start seeing the size of your portions. This can help with having confidence that what you are eating is correct for you on those days you decide logging can't be as accurate as you would like.
Log for as long as you need to. You may decide it is the rest of your life, you may decide you can just weigh your food but don't need to log it any more, you may find after a time in maintenance that you can go by just weighing yourself and adjusting your intake to reflect your weight. (Keep track of TOM).
Learning how to maintain is as varied as learning how to lose. It takes time and there can be a few hiccups along the way. Don't get discouraged, get back on track.
I have been maintaining for over 6 years with a 5 lbs range that I have only been under or over a handful of times.
Once I reached by goal I continued logging for a few months, then slowly found I really didn't need to anymore. I would weigh my food, but enter it at the end of the day just to see how I had done. Once I was consistent in going by portion sizes and my body weight I stopped logging. Now I will log for a few weeks in a year just to check my portions, or adjust my calories if I have changed my exercise routines.
You have built all your good habits while you were losing. Maintenance is putting them into practice.
Cheers, h.
Just quoting all this great advice for emphasis...
To add my own story, I've been in maintenance for about 18 months officially. Prior to actually changing my status to "maintain" I had hit a plateau a little below my original goal weight of 125, and kind of slacked a little in my focus so I settled in at 123. I bounced around a bit but never really got below that number, so I decided to officially "maintain" that as my new weight. I didn't really raise my calories much (I think I added 100) since I wasn't really losing anymore anyway.
The funny thing was, knowing that I didn't have a buffer anymore, that I was actually "In Maintenance" made me much more diligent about eating up to my TDEE (from my FitBit) but not going over. It made me purposefully bank calories during the week when I knew I had events planned on the weekend (whereas before I sometimes did, but not always, since I knew I had deficit calories built into my goal). Anyway... the weight started to shift again, and after about 6 months I had lost 5 more pounds. So now I really feel much more comfortable that I can maintain this weight (currently fluctuating b/w 117-120), that I know what my maintenance calories are (2100-2200), and that I know how to stay on track long term not freak out about small short term changes. If things get outside of that comfort range (probably above 122), I would put myself back on a deficit until I get back down to this range. I keep myself motivated with new goals around total steps, trying to fit in more strength training, etc.
Good luck everybody - maintenance is something to be enjoyed, not something to be anxious about - but it takes time to get comfortable with it. Just not too comfortable...
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MFP Forums Maintenance Errors Causing Duplication in Post on Maintenance Thread...
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middlehaitch wrote: »@GottaBurnEmAll have you thought of just moving to the maintenance calories for your goal weight now and just letting those pesky last pounds fall off when they may?
It may be worth considering as your loss has slowed to a crawl and your planning on a maintenance break anyway.
Cheers, h.
That is something I thought of doing just this morning, and was planning on working my way up to that in 50-100 calorie increments.
Great minds and all that!
Thanks for the input, I think that's probably going to be the best plan for me moving forward. I can focus on fitness and just let things settle where they will.1 -
I lost 50 lbs 4 years ago and have gained back 10 which is fine with me. I just want to stay here. I get anxious for sure, so many people gain the weight back. I think it is good to be cautious.2
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