How to deal with body shaming bullies?

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winejunky143
winejunky143 Posts: 153 Member
in Motivation and Support
One of my co-workers has been body shaming me for the past year. He also happens to be my boss and a family member. He tells me I'm fat all the time. Sometimes other co-workers join in. I am the only girl among 60 or so men. I live with the co-workers that bully me. I can't get away from the criticism. The bullying has lead to depression and eating disorders. I refuse to accept medical help. I don't want to take pills for this. I will get laid off from this job soon so I need to keep making as much money as I can at this job before then so quitting is not an option.

I'm not looking for more criticism or attention. I just want to hear how others cope with such abuse. How do you make it through each day? What are some things you do to keep yourself happy?
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Replies

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    My only suggestion would be to quit. If you cannot or will not do that, you need to learn to ignore it/let it roll off. That is easier said than done, of course.

    Do you have a plan to move away from these people?
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    How old are you OP?
  • kandell
    kandell Posts: 473 Member
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    Remind yourself that something happened to make them all so bitter. You deserve to be happy, and other people's negative words and actions shouldn't take that from you. It's tough, I know :[ Hang in there. Honestly I would recommend to start looking for another source of employment, one that isn't run by your family. A professional company wouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior.
  • winejunky143
    winejunky143 Posts: 153 Member
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    I'm 20. When I get laid off I can choose to find a new job elsewhere or I can wait to be hired back. In which case I will likely work with the same people. I like my job, I'm good at my job and its a lot of money. The company also provides housing so if I choose to work elsewhere I will have to pay rent on top of various other bills..
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    winejunky143 wrote: »
    I'm 20. When I get laid off I can choose to find a new job elsewhere or I can wait to be hired back. In which case I will likely work with the same people. I like my job, I'm good at my job and its a lot of money. The company also provides housing so if I choose to work elsewhere I will have to pay rent on top of various other bills..

    So you're choosing to stay in a toxic environment... not sure what you're actually posting for?
  • Joanna2012B
    Joanna2012B Posts: 1,448 Member
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    Ok so from your picture you are no where near being over weight. You look absolutely fantastic so maybe it might be jealousy? If you aren't willing to change jobs than I think you'll need to grow thick skin and stop letting it bother you. If they can't get to you they will eventually get bored and stop.

    Put your head down and work, work harder than the men that are bullying! Exercise is what makes me happy and I can burn off a lot of steam doing so!
  • winejunky143
    winejunky143 Posts: 153 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    winejunky143 wrote: »
    I'm 20. When I get laid off I can choose to find a new job elsewhere or I can wait to be hired back. In which case I will likely work with the same people. I like my job, I'm good at my job and its a lot of money. The company also provides housing so if I choose to work elsewhere I will have to pay rent on top of various other bills..

    So you're choosing to stay in a toxic environment... not sure what you're actually posting for?

    I was just curious if anyone had ways of making themselves happy during such times..
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
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    Is your profile pic accurate? If so I cannot imagine who would call you fat! Even if you were overweight being bullied for it is unacceptable.

    The work / living situation is tricky. I think becoming financially independent should be your top priority. If you make good money then I'd start saving up to live elsewhere. If you standing up for yourself and making it clear to these people that what they are saying will no longer be tolerated doesn't change things then your only option is to change your situation. Sorry. What a tough spot to be in.
  • Laureleikosovich
    Laureleikosovich Posts: 14 Member
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    Are you sure they're not just ribbing you because you care so much about not being fat? Guys can sometimes hone in on that and 'take the piss' out of someone just because they know it works.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    HeidiGrrrl wrote: »
    Well, it isn't nice, but when people have body shamed me, I've always said "I may be fat, but you're ugly. I can always go on a diet, but you'll still be ugly." That usually shuts them up. LOL! :D

    lol Ive always told them I can lose the weight,theres no cure for being an a**hole
  • JC_Reborn
    JC_Reborn Posts: 351 Member
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    winejunky143 wrote: »
    One of my co-workers has been body shaming me for the past year. He also happens to be my boss and a family member. He tells me I'm fat all the time. Sometimes other co-workers join in. I am the only girl among 60 or so men. I live with the co-workers that bully me. I can't get away from the criticism. The bullying has lead to depression and eating disorders. I refuse to accept medical help. I don't want to take pills for this. I will get laid off from this job soon so I need to keep making as much money as I can at this job before then so quitting is not an option.

    I'm not looking for more criticism or attention. I just want to hear how others cope with such abuse. How do you make it through each day? What are some things you do to keep yourself happy?

    My suggestion would be to quit as soon as you can. Dont take it seriously and evertime they say those things just laugh at them
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,030 Member
    edited October 2016
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    .
  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
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    In your situation, I would focus on looking for a new job to start when you get laid off from this one...that will give you something to look forward to and possibly make it easier to let it roll of your back when your boss and coworkers give you a hard time. In the meanwhile, don't let them see that it bothers you....laugh at them and go on, because alot of times people will pick on you worse once they find they have hit a nerve.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    This is your boss, you say? What country are you working in?
  • winejunky143
    winejunky143 Posts: 153 Member
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    TR0berts wrote: »
    This is your boss, you say? What country are you working in?

    US but he's family and I don't want to make him lose his job.. I do care about him despite the abuse.
    I will most likely take most everyone's advice and stick it through until I get laid off then try to find a different job.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,949 Member
    edited October 2016
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    Quitting is always an option. Just find another job first. It's what a lot of people do. Job hunt while they have a job and then quit and switch when they've signed a new contract elsewhere. And then move out.

    Don't wait until you're jobless to look for a job. It could take months (as in 6 - 12).

    If you want free housing (and food) and fantastic money, go work on a remote construction site in the north (think Alaska or northern Canada).

    Honestly, you are already paying for your housing. Where do you think they get the money for that from? Out of everyone's base salary. They are all a lower than they would be if they didn't cover that expense.
  • pescetarian_love
    pescetarian_love Posts: 64 Member
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    I have a few "friends" and co workers who are very passive aggressive about noticing and complimenting me on my weight loss. I always tend to have little 'chats' with myself to boost my confidence and say I am doing this for myself but honestly, the way I am eating now makes me feel amazing and that's all I need to keep going and boost my moral when I get stuck, or tired of something in my diet or when I feel upset about what someone says. People can be so weak and *kitten* and they only do it because they feel horrible about themselves.

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