What happens if i don't count calories everyday or go over my daily amount

jlsjenni1992
jlsjenni1992 Posts: 38 Member
edited December 4 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi ok well I'm in relationship so the days I'm by myself I'm pretty good at staying in 1200 to 1300 calorie range but I'm with guy who is pretty careless when it comes to health and pretty scattered when it comes to what he eats so he doesn't believe in counting calories so I've tried getting him the idea of this app but he's not interested but that's ok because it's for me but we hangout 3 days week on Tuesday and Thursday night and either Saturday or Sunday morning ..since we hang out at night on Tuesday and Thursday I really try to eat very little since we usually get food and I want to be able to eat like normal person and enjoy the meal and he enjoys me the way iam so I feel like he sabotages me I'm ok with my size but I feel like I want to lose some weight so if I gain weight in future I'll be around the size I'm now not to the pint were I feel stuck with it and I want to be thinner I'm 5'3 and 163 pounds and I want to be 130 to 140 range however if I eat like 1600 to 1500 calories 3 days week because of him I feel like I'll never reach my goal I also don't really we excercise and I'm counting calories versus really eating super healthy can people give me advice or hopes I can make my goal happen even tho I really can only stay around my calorie range 4 days week

Replies

  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    So you're dating a guy that is not supportive of your personal goals and methods of getting there? I couldn't handle that personally.

    Counting calories every day is to help you understand your food intake. Maybe you can think of your day a bit different and count dinner as the beginning of your day with the rest of your calories to be eaten for breakfast and lunch the following day. That way you can attempt to estimate the calories for dinner after you have eaten and see what is left the following day.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    You could count your calorie intake by the week. That's what I do. Some days I am over and some days I am under. As long as you are in a deficit you will be good.
  • jlsjenni1992
    jlsjenni1992 Posts: 38 Member
    Thank u he is supportive but he doesn't think or see the things the way I do .. I look ok with the weight I'm now but I really worry about just gaining more weight and getting to point where it's allot harder to be healthy.. I feel like especially as girls we get pregnant we gain weight from that i mean you can gain weight from stress .. i wouldn't mind just maintaining my weight but defiantly don't want to keep gaining weight he thinks that I won't gain that much weight but I have friends and people I see and it's really common and I have gained weight quickly in the past .. it's frustrating but I think he thinks I'm being insecure or obsessing over it.. but I really liked the idea of thinking of my calories as week allowance that makes it allot easier then each day as 1200 and 1300 calories thank u and he is nice guy tho that's the only thing that really is frustrating
  • alyssa0061
    alyssa0061 Posts: 652 Member
    I am also in a relationship with someone who has no need to count calories. I gained a lot of weight when we first started seeing each other because we work together and went out for lunch together almost every day. It was after we stopped working together that I was able to buckle down and focus on my eating and changing my habits. We work together again now and it's back to having lunch together every day. However this time I don't treat every lunch as a date. It's not a free for all. We order something two to three days a week; I just make smart choices. The other days he brings me something he's cooked. I don't know everything that's in it but he is pretty good about letting me know how it was prepared so I can estimate as best I can. I keep Lean Cuisines and vegetables in the freezer at work. That way if he wants White Castle, I'll heat up my lunch and we can still enjoy eating together. My eating habits aren't his problem and they're not his responsibility. I don't talk to him about calorie counting or fret about what I'm eating when we're together. I make my decisions based on my goals. I eat and adjust accordingly. It really is simple.
  • jlsjenni1992
    jlsjenni1992 Posts: 38 Member
    alyssa0061 wrote: »
    I am also in a relationship with someone who has no need to count calories. I gained a lot of weight when we first started seeing each other because we work together and went out for lunch together almost every day. It was after we stopped working together that I was able to buckle down and focus on my eating and changing my habits. We work together again now and it's back to having lunch together every day. However this time I don't treat every lunch as a date. It's not a free for all. We order something two to three days a week; I just make smart choices. The other days he brings me something he's cooked. I don't know everything that's in it but he is pretty good about letting me know how it was prepared so I can estimate as best I can. I keep Lean Cuisines and vegetables in the freezer at work. That way if he wants White Castle, I'll heat up my lunch and we can still enjoy eating together. My eating habits aren't his problem and they're not his responsibility. I don't talk to him about calorie counting or fret about what I'm eating when we're together. I make my decisions based on my goals. I eat and adjust accordingly. It really is simple.

    Thanks for understanding I think I fret about too much so he takes it wrong the way I'm just going to stick to my goal and not try to talk about with him too much ..he just doesn't see this subject the same way that I do , but I liked the idea of us eating our own food thank u for ur help
  • melaniedscott
    melaniedscott Posts: 1,478 Member
    I wonder if the key here is that you don't feel like you eat "like a normal person" and it changes how you feel. The biggest key to losing weight and keeping it where you want is to make lifestyle changes, not to diet. Diets make you feel deprived. Figure out how to eat what you like without going over...that may be reducing portions.

    Starving yourself all day just to be able to eat what he enjoys means you're more likely to overeat and make less positive choices.

    Restaurant portions are usually really big...ask them to put half of it in a box before they bring you the meal, ask for sauces or dressings on the side, etc.

    And talk to him...this is where I am, this is what I need, etc. Try to avoid you do this, you do that, etc. If he really cares, he will support what you need, not sabotage you.
  • jlsjenni1992
    jlsjenni1992 Posts: 38 Member
    Thanks guys
  • mari5466
    mari5466 Posts: 137 Member
    When I first started dating my boyfriend I was trying to maintain and we would also see each other on a similar schedule. He is tall and skinny and can eat whatever he wants and doesn't care about health. Slowly I gained a little weight and then we moved in together and I gained 10-15 pounds in 6 months. I didn't eat bad but he drank soda and I never bought soda because it wasn't something I grew up drinking and I started having a few glasses a day. Finally after 6 months I no longer liked the way I looked so I came back to MFP which I used before we met and at the beginning. He didn't get it at first but eventually after time he became more supportive. As another poster mentioned, you have to stop thinking about your nights together as dates and start to make better decesions, maybe cook together or start measuring or choose places that have healthier options. Work out on the days your gonna be together. We still go out, we still eat dinner every night but some nights I don't eat the starch and add more veggies. It is possible!
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    If you want to eat the food you two like to eat together, eat it but less of it. Or the two of you can eat different foods. There's no reason why you have to eat the same thing. I've been with my husband for 27 years (married 18) and we do not eat identical foods in identical quantities each day. Eating to match your boyfriend 3 out of 7 days (over 40% of the time) doesn't make sense to me. Either you are overthinking this and he isn't actually going to care if you eat what he eats or he is overly concerned with what you're eating. I get the impression it is the former, though, and that your definition of "sabotage" is something like "he eats pizza when we are together."
  • jlsjenni1992
    jlsjenni1992 Posts: 38 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    If you want to eat the food you two like to eat together, eat it but less of it. Or the two of you can eat different foods. There's no reason why you have to eat the same thing. I've been with my husband for 27 years (married 18) and we do not eat identical foods in identical quantities each day. Eating to match your boyfriend 3 out of 7 days (over 40% of the time) doesn't make sense to me. Either you are overthinking this and he isn't actually going to care if you eat what he eats or he is overly concerned with what you're eating. I get the impression it is the former, though, and that your definition of "sabotage" is something like "he eats pizza when we are together."

    That's true I guess ur right it's not like he's mean or controlling about it he just scattered I guess when it comes to his eating and I don't want to become just like him .. but I've gone into bad pattern myself so I got to start become more serious with my habits and just not worry about what if situations or talk about them so much with him thank u tho lol the pizza comment was funny
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    You could try the 5:2 diet. 2 days a week you eat 500 calories and the rest you eat your TDEE. I went a bit more extreme, I did ADF- Alternate Day Fasting, 500 cals one day, TDEE the next, 500 the next day and so on.
  • jlsjenni1992
    jlsjenni1992 Posts: 38 Member
    Christine_72 wrote: »
    You could try the 5:2 diet. 2 days a week you eat 500 calories and the rest you eat your TDEE. I went a bit more extreme, I did ADF- Alternate Day Fasting, 500 cals one day, TDEE the next, 500 the next day and so on.

    I was reading about that and I think I tried for week but didn't stick to it .. does it work have u done long time ? Does it get harder the longer your on it ?
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    jlsjenni1992 wrote: »
    Christine_72 wrote: »
    You could try the 5:2 diet. 2 days a week you eat 500 calories and the rest you eat your TDEE. I went a bit more extreme, I did ADF- Alternate Day Fasting, 500 cals one day, TDEE the next, 500 the next day and so on.

    I was reading about that and I think I tried for week but didn't stick to it .. does it work have u done long time ? Does it get harder the longer your on it ?

    I don't do it anymore, I lost 24 of the 30lbs i needed to lose, in 4mths. Surprisingly, i didn't find it hard at all, it became a routine my mind and body got used too quickly.
    My 500 cal days were freeing, I didn't have to worry about when and what to eat or stress about going over my calories. I drank lots of tea and water all day long and then had a 500 calorie dinner.
  • Mumu190672
    Mumu190672 Posts: 76 Member
    Do what you think is good for you.
    Don't compromise because of him.
    If he loves you he will accept even if he disagrees for some reasons.
    When you are with him eat what you think is reasonable.
    If he objects tell him you are a woman you are smaller and can't eat as much as he eats.
    Do what you have to do and ignore his reaction.
    You do it for yourself and anyone who loves you should support you.
    By the way tell him. If you can't tell him something is wrong in the relationship.
  • aliciamariaq
    aliciamariaq Posts: 272 Member
    edited October 2016
    Mumu190672 wrote: »
    Do what you think is good for you.
    Don't compromise because of him.
    If he loves you he will accept even if he disagrees for some reasons.
    When you are with him eat what you think is reasonable.
    If he objects tell him you are a woman you are smaller and can't eat as much as he eats.
    Do what you have to do and ignore his reaction.
    You do it for yourself and anyone who loves you should support you.
    By the way tell him. If you can't tell him something is wrong in the relationship.

    This advice is gold! I agree with everything in here.

    If it is important to you, stick with it, whether he "believes in counting calories" or not. Actually, I don't see why that matters.

    You don't have to eat what he eats when you are together, just make healthy choices that work for you and that fit into your calories. If you go over your calories for the day when you are with him, just eat a bit less or exercise a bit more the next day.
  • EttaMaeMartin
    EttaMaeMartin Posts: 303 Member
    Elise4270 wrote: »
    I'd still try to count them the best I could everyday. Stay active. I gained 30+ pounds in a relationship because he ate out 100% of the time and he never exercised. So I ate out and quit running. Then he wasn't interested because I gained weight. No matter that he needed to lose about 50 pounds.

    So just be careful that you don't compromise who you are or your goals, women are good at that when it comes to relationships. Dont be afraid to hold on to who you are. He's not necessarily THE chicken dinner, winner winner. :wink:

    the is the death of a relationship and your relationship w self. co-dependency is so easy to do and so hard to let go. stick with what you need to do. if the person does not support you, then it probably will not turn out well. jmo
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