Very long but I need help and motivation
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rodriguezj351
Posts: 5 Member
I'm struggling...like really badly. Over the summer I worked really hard and broke the 300 barrier that I was stuck on for the entire summer I stopped working out and eating right because my grandmother got really sick and passed away. The in and out of the hospital killed the diet killed the time for exercise. I also wasn't working as much and grad school was starting so I had no time and no money to pay for my trainer. After 2 months I completely went backwards. Gained 10 lbs in two months...have eaten fast food 2-3 times a day...turning to u healthy foods and being lazy again. I see what I worked so hard for disappear. My clothes were getting tight again. My favorite jacket now won't button unless I suck everything in. I'm losing faith and hope in myself. I'm lost honestly and don't know how to get out. I need motivation. I need help and suggestions. I'm 21 and I weigh 310lbs and I don't want to be I want to be 21 and weigh in the 250s. Please this is my last option or it's not going to be good and before I know it I'll weight almost 400 and I don't want that at all but for some reason I can't find the will power or motivation to keep up and change. So please someone reach out and help.
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Replies
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More than willpower or motivation, you need a plan to do things differently than you are now and to help you get success.
For example perhaps change your kitchen to suit your new lifestyle: clear off the counters of things in the way to make room for cooking and new gadgets like a kitchen scale. Make a grocery list and plan some meals that you can make in triple batches -- eat 1/3 one night and put the other two thirds in the freezer.
Buy a kitchen scale if you do not have one already.
These are helpful links:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/category/eat/recipes/soups-stews/
http://stage29.drphil.com/articles/article/895 -
I hope I can be of some help. Your post moved me tremendously. Please don't lose hope. You sound like a very determined young woman...taking care of grandmother, going to grad school, utilizing a trainer. Goodness that is a really full plate. When you are dealing with a major life upset (like a death of a close one) you must give yourself permission to let down your guard just a bit. Ease up on yourself, give yourself time to grieve, rest. You can get back on track whenever you want...you are in charge. I'm sure your grandmother would want you to forgive yourself of the weight gain and encourage you to remember the right choices to make. You did it once...you will do it again. Best of luck to you!9
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both of what has been said above!
don't give up though. just try to make sustainable changes like prepare food in advance and store it in the fridge for easy eating access later (hint though - don't make a week's worth because by the end of the week it gets yucky. 3 days' worth is plenty!
Just try to make better choices with your meals and get moving again even if without a trainer. walk, do youtube video workouts... whatever
You can do it! Don't lose hope!
Good luck 5 -
Don't try to change everything at once, it's overwhelming. Change ONE thing at a time and get used to it before changing something else. Start cooking dinners instead of fast food a few times per week, start prepping your lunches on the weekend, start going for a walk in your lunch break - anything that seems reasonable and doable to you right now.
Don't be too hard on yourself, this is going to take time and you'll need to find ways to change your lifestyle that you can stick with over the long term. The "sexypants" link RodaRose posted above is a very useful one, and also check out the stickied threads at the top of some of the forum sections. The "most helpful" threads are, well, helpful!
And as jformica said, give yourself time to grieve as well. But don't lose hope, and don't give up - you are worth the effort, and you can do it. We're all here for you!6 -
The most important thing is you want to make a change. Now you just need to decide to start and to not let life's ups & downs derail you.
Maybe try a kitchen purge to have a new start- get rid of junk food and trigger foods from your pantry & fridge & freezer & cupboards... then go grocery shopping for healthy foods and snacks and Tupperware for meal planning & bringing your own food with you when you need to instead of picking up takeout.
Keep some treat foods- you can still have a little indulgence each day if you keep it small and keep to your calories.
Get a digital food scale and track EVERYTHING you eat (on good days AND bad days). And get a scale to weigh yourself every morning- a body composition measuring scale would be best, and keep track of your weight & body fat percentage.
Start cooking for yourself. If you don't know how then learn! There's plenty of help for you online. And it's fun!
You know you don't need to only workout with your trainer- you can go to the gym on your own. And when you can't make it to the gym you can go for a walk at least or do an at home workout. Check out the YouTube channel fitnessblender for some good ones- many are only 15 or 20 minutes so you can fit that in even if you're busy. I like to use exercise to de-stress & get my "me time". Don't let it be a chore, make it part of your normal routine.
Time to think of this as your new way of life, not a diet or something temporary. Also try to focus on health not just losing weight. (The calorie deficit is temporary, since you will go back up to maintenance calories once you are happy with your weight, but tracking & eating healthy will be necessary forever).
I would also suggest you aim for a weight that starts with the number 1. A body weight of 250lbs is still pretty unhealthy. I think you can get to the low 200s or high 100s.
Also inspiration is important- check out the YouTube channel Obese to Beast. Really inspirational young guy went from over 300 lbs to a normal weight & buff! He's real sweet too. Also check out Cookie Miller- similar story and another great channel to watch for inspo & advice.
Good luck
You can do it!!
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Hi
I agree with what has already been said No one ever plans to fail but fails from not planning, you are a smart young woman who must already have awesome planning skills your in grad school
well done, now put those same smarts to work on a plan you can stick to ..
A set of kitchen scales and a slow cooker are both cheap and make life so much easier, I have lots of frozen pre cooked meals in my freezer so i don't get caught in a rush or with nothing to eat ..
I cook brown rice & freeze in 50 gram lots cut up cooked chicken & freeze to add to meals , boil a few eggs they last cooked for days , cut up fruit and veg for snacking on & I take my lunch & smoko's with me to work in a cooler bag , No Buying rubbishy foods that way
Frozen fruit is great in a protein smoothie for breakfast or after a workout and great for you .
Sit down and work out what you like eating whats the healthiest easiest foods for you to have.
As an example i don't really like vegetables ( love salad) so i grate sweet potato , zucchini & carrot into my slow cooker add tomatoes Beef herbs & red lentils , The veggies and lentils become the sauce and it all tastes fantastic freezes well has loads of protein & fiber is filling .This is one of my go to fav meals no stress no fuss .
Find some of these kind of recipes load them into mfp it will give you the calorie count per serve all done .
Getting motivated to workout can take a bit, so start off with something you enjoy swimming a class workout or just walk . Utube has heaps of free 10 minute to more workouts dance, weights cardio there are heaps . Join a gym I know lots of people won't they feel to intimidated but the group classes like zumba and body combat are awesome & trust me everyone is way to busy trying to breath themselves they don't care about anyone else .
Good luck and remember every day every meal is another chance to do better don't be to hard on your self .
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I have to admit how hard it is to be overweight. I have to eat more than the person sitting next to me and I have to have a story about why I should eat that much. I am tired. I am sad. My husband got a bonus and then four hours later we got the tax bill and I am annoyed that I thought about spending that money on- whatever. I also have to be pretty dishonest to stay this overweight. I tell myself that I really don't mind. I don't feel bad that my knees hurt. I'm OK with ugly clothes. I'm not appalled to look in the mirror and ask myself what happened. To stay this overweight I have to lie all the time.
All these comments about getting a scale and cooking ahead and measuring? My logical mind knows that stuff. It's calories in vs. calories out. Simple math. Easy peasy. But to jam a couple of hundred or a couple of thousand extra calories down my throat? That's work. My emotional mind is the one in charge there. I can say that I am too busy or distracted or sad to stay on a healthy eating plan but the truth is that it takes a lot of work to go off it, to get busy telling the big little lies, and to hunt down and consume all that food.
To lose weight and to be healthy means that for the next five goddamn minutes I have to do the right thing. And then do it again.9 -
In the book "Success Principles" The first principle changed my life. It was tough to accept..but I did. It was .. "Take responsibility for the situation you are in.. no one put you there but you."
You are not a victim. Fast food didn't force itself into your mouth twice a day. You have the knowledge and know what you need to do to get healthy. Empower yourself by taking responsibility for your actions. Only then can you take control and make the changes you want.
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Add me. Having people on MFP can help keep you on track and put reminders to log your food. This system works just you have to give it a chance to work. You need to be ready to make a lifestyle change or when you get to 250 you'll just go back to 300. Take it one day at a time but start making some of those changes.3
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rodriguezj351 wrote: »I'm struggling...like really badly. Over the summer I worked really hard and broke the 300 barrier that I was stuck on for the entire summer I stopped working out and eating right because my grandmother got really sick and passed away. The in and out of the hospital killed the diet killed the time for exercise. I also wasn't working as much and grad school was starting so I had no time and no money to pay for my trainer. After 2 months I completely went backwards. Gained 10 lbs in two months...have eaten fast food 2-3 times a day...turning to u healthy foods and being lazy again. I see what I worked so hard for disappear. My clothes were getting tight again. My favorite jacket now won't button unless I suck everything in. I'm losing faith and hope in myself. I'm lost honestly and don't know how to get out. I need motivation. I need help and suggestions. I'm 21 and I weigh 310lbs and I don't want to be I want to be 21 and weigh in the 250s. Please this is my last option or it's not going to be good and before I know it I'll weight almost 400 and I don't want that at all but for some reason I can't find the will power or motivation to keep up and change. So please someone reach out and help.
You can do this, you need mutual supportive friends in here, one way support does not work. Feel free to friend me. Good luck2 -
Weight management is about calories. It is not about eating a particular type of food or how much free time you have.
What I would do is start planning your eating and logging. If you are going to eat fast food look up nutritional info for the places you go and find things that fit your goals.
Plan meals. There is nothing wrong with quick foods like yogurt or a sandwich if you don't have time or skill to cook.
Set your goal to lose 1 lb a week. I know you probably want to lose weight quickly but you need to be able to sustain your loss. 1 lb a week will get you there in time.
Don't use food to deal with emotions, boredom, stress. Do something else.3 -
I've been where you are. I started at 328 and was ecstatic when I dropped below 300. For the first time in 18 years, I weighed below 300 pounds!
Fast forward many months and I was in the 250s. Life changes happen, stress came into m y life, and I have gained 20 pounds. I am still well-below 300, but if I don't stop gaining, I will gain it all back plus 10% more. That means I am looking at a future weight of 360 pounds.
So . . . what can you do to stop gaining?
I think I would start with the fast food. I understand what the schedule is like for a grad student. (I have three degrees.) Sometimes you just need to grab what food is available because of time, friends going out, too tired to fix food, or just loneliness and you want to eat where there are people. Pick lower-calorie fast food. Subway has great lower calorie choices. If you skip the sauces on your sandwiches and the chips, you can get an excellent sandwich for about 400 calories. And it's very filling. (But skip the tuna fish. It's surprisingly high in calories!)
Don't worry about the exercise right now. You will be running around campus a lot, but do look for opportunities to burn extra calories when possible. What about stairs? Taking the stairs down is better than taking the elevator. Taking the stairs up is even better, but I don't know if you are physically able to do that. And even one flight is better than none.
I have been weighing myself every day. It reminds me that I am changing my food behaviors and activity behaviors. I will skip foods (fat foods) that I've been slipping in because I don't want to see even a .2 gain. I tried weighing weekly, monthly, and not at all, but that just led to 4- and 5-pound gains before I saw it on the scale. See if weighing daily works for you.
You know what it takes to lose weight. You know how good it felt to be under 300 pounds. Remember that feeling and reacquire it.
I know it's hard. I've been fighting it for months, but I'm not giving up. Giving up means 360 pounds, and I am not going there.
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Hi there!
I noticed you haven't been logging your food. Tracking calories really is important for successful weight loss!
I ate clean and worked out regularly for almost a year and yet barely lost any weight because despite a healthy diet & lifestyle I was eating at or above my maintenance calories. No deficit, no weight loss!
I didn't start losing until I started tracking all my food & calories and adjusted my diet to stay within my daily calorie and macros goals. I even eat a little less healthy now than before- I found I can even have pizza or chocolate, etc as long as I keep the portions reasonable.
We want to see you succeed, you want to make progress... time to start logging!0 -
It's been a week since you posted this- how are you doing?0
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I'm sorry about your grandmother.
Now is your time to start fresh. You don't need an expensive trainer. You do need to set MFP correctly, stick to the portions & move if you can.
In grad school, park far from class. Take the stairs. Schedule some time to work out & treat it like the class you can't miss. Tape or download the lectures & listen to them or other study aids while you exercise.
Food & portions are key. I haven't seen the inside of a gym in 3 weeks. I still lost 3 pounds by paying attention to my consumption. Logging forces you think about what you're eating
Make grad school about changing more then your academic education0 -
I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. Life is life, and I hope you can move on from the tough few months you just had.
Now seems like a great time to start fresh : and you seem very set on achieving your goals.
Grad school can be hard...I put on a little more than 40 pounds by the time I finished it...take good eating and exercise habits now because it will help you get through it! Beeing a student, I know its hard to eat right (money and time), but here are a few tips that would have helped me a few years ago :
- buy eggs and hard boil them so they are ready to grab and eat in the fridge (cheap eat + quality). Smash them with a little greek yogurt, hot sauce, salt and peper and eat with whole weat bread, or crackers and veggies (carrots and celeries are cheap and easy to prep in advance). Tadam, a sustaining healthy lunch! Omelettes can be life savers on week nights!
- get familiar with beans and lentils ( budget friendly + quality). A crockpot can be a really good buy for a student (cooks while your away) and it can cook a chili with beans (which will last for days - you can even freeze some)
- oats. Slow-cooker oats, overnight oats, regular oats. Cheap, healthy whole grain and will keep you full.
- canned tuna, canned sardines. Great for lunches.
- Cook big batches (you can use your slowcooker) on sundays. It's cheap, tou will have something to eat all week and your place will smell great!
- go for frozen veggies and fruits (get them at costco if you can). The majority of the time they taste great, they are cheap and they avoid waste.
Exercise when you can. But what you put in your body is what is most important. I suggest you start with one small challenge each week : replace sodas by water, make breakfast at home, prepare diner 4 times, etc. All the little things will add up.
Breath in, breath out. You can do this. You can add me on your friend list if you want!1 -
If you can afford the trainer, I think it's a good investment. Having the accountability of a trainer really helps me stay on track, text every meal, someone to push me to get to the gym on my own. If you were having success when you had the trainer, maybe see what you can prioritize or cut in terms of finances to keep working with one, even if it's once a week. Weight loss and keeping consistent routines can be really difficult if you don't make it a top priority and everything else in life starts taking over.0
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Look into the wellness resources available from your school - most schools offer basic mental health counseling at no cost to students (they can help with stress, feeling overwhelmed, grief, etc). Therapy is almost always a good idea, especially when it's built into your university's health services.
Make friends at your school's gym, schedule an interesting exercise class each semester, or look for free offerings from students - see if your school has a department with physical therapy or exercise science. You might get some free training or find a student willing to work with you at no cost. You don't need to exercise to lose weight, but regular exercise can improve your mood, cognitive function, and reduce stress.
Also, take it easy on yourself - it might seem super urgent, but it's going to take a while to lose weight. Start building a new habit every few weeks, and get used to the change before you add more. Cook at home and pack lunches for the majority of your meals for a few weeks, then reduce your calories for a few weeks, then add in more walking or any movement that you enjoy, then try some new foods/exercises/hobbies to keep yourself interested. I firmly believe that you shouldn't do something to lose weight unless you can keep doing it long term.0
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