Motivation gone :(

chicnsweet83
chicnsweet83 Posts: 97
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
So at the beginning of the year, I was so stoked to exercise, go to the gym, eat/drink healthy. I'm not sure what happened...but about 2 months ago I became unhappy, unmotivated, I have started to drink wine (almost by the entire bottle to myself), I'm not sleeping well, I'm not very hungry, headaches on a daily basis and I am working 5 days a week and dealing with pressure & stress from my job (2 studio managers quit in the same day, then there was an abuse incident at work with a father and his 3yr old girl a few weeks ago, I didn't take it very well), then I come home to my 7yr old son, he wants my attention and I just don't want to give it. I'm tired, I come home and close the door to my bedroom. I've been thinking more negative feelings about my job, even a great guy i've been with for 6 months. I've been eating alot of unhealthy fast food and drinking soda again as well, but my weight has been holding steady at 119.

I tried to do some yoga and aerobic exercises today..i didn't realize my body is SO WEAK. My left arm can't handle much (it's always in pain, along with my shoulder, neck and upper/lower back always hurts as well) I am turning into a wreck. I don't want my son to catch on how i'm feeling nor do I want my family to worry. I don't know what i'm supposed to do to make myself happier and to get back into that groove that I had at the beginning of the year. :(

Replies

  • crzynut
    crzynut Posts: 1
    It sounds to me that you are in a depression and should go and see a Dr and see if he can help you. Always start back with baby steps and then you will be able to start doing it again. Your motivation should be the 7 yr old son but i understand the pressures and stress from work.
  • rharris86dc
    rharris86dc Posts: 635 Member
    Sounds like a lot of stress has really gotten you down =(
    If you can, try to get away for a long weekend, or something. Do something fun that you enjoy, and that let's you completely be in the moment, and not worrying about anything else.

    Or, try talking to someone. Maybe a friend, or even a professional, just to get a new perspective.

    Good luck!!
  • twerps4jesusjo
    twerps4jesusjo Posts: 34 Member
    It sounds like you may be depressed. You should do the obvious things like eating/drinking healthier and get the exercise even when you don't feel like it.
    More than that, you REALLY need to talk to someone about the negative feelings you are having. If you are a part of a church, call the office and see if they have any free or low cost counseling available. Or check with work and see if there is an Employee Assistance Program available.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    So at the beginning of the year, I was so stoked to exercise, go to the gym, eat/drink healthy. I'm not sure what happened...but about 2 months ago I became unhappy, unmotivated, I have started to drink wine (almost by the entire bottle to myself), I'm not sleeping well, I'm not very hungry, headaches on a daily basis and I am working 5 days a week and dealing with pressure & stress from my job (2 studio managers quit in the same day, then there was an abuse incident at work with a father and his 3yr old girl a few weeks ago, I didn't take it very well), then I come home to my 7yr old son, he wants my attention and I just don't want to give it. I'm tired, I come home and close the door to my bedroom. I've been thinking more negative feelings about my job, even a great guy i've been with for 6 months. I've been eating alot of unhealthy fast food and drinking soda again as well, but my weight has been holding steady at 119.

    I tried to do some yoga and aerobic exercises today..i didn't realize my body is SO WEAK. My left arm can't handle much (it's always in pain, along with my shoulder, neck and upper/lower back always hurts as well) I am turning into a wreck. I don't want my son to catch on how i'm feeling nor do I want my family to worry. I don't know what i'm supposed to do to make myself happier and to get back into that groove that I had at the beginning of the year. :(

    Sounds like one of two things to me (just a guess, you provided limited information):

    Either you have some medical condition, or depression or something,

    Or you haven't been eating the food that your body needs. I find if I don't get enough to eat I get sluggish and tired, especially if I don't get enough healthy carbs.

    Get a workout partner, and use them to keep you motivated. It makes a HUGE HUGE HUGE difference, because even when you don't feel like it, they are counting on you.

    How much have you been eating?
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,343 Member
    I'm no expert - and it may be good to speak with one if you are constantly having negative feelings.

    if you are just out of the groove , the only thing to get back into the groove is do what you did before. the wine and drinking will most likely lead to poor sleep - which then leads to being hung-over and feeling like crap the next day and makes things worse.

    I would try hard to stop the wine, get back to some exercise - even if just walking outside or some fun activities with your son.

    the healthy food will also make you feel better (junk always helps in making you feel like crap). Eating unhealthy is probably compounding the problems you are having - feeling blah, no energy, etc.

    one day at a time - after a couple days I am betting you will start feeling better and your groove will be back. you got this!!!

    now go drink some water and have some healthy dinner :smile:
  • photorific
    photorific Posts: 577 Member
    What happened is that you're stressed out. I've been there a million times. The wine will contribute to why you're not sleeping well (speaking from experience). Do you have vacation days? Sick days? Use them. Try to get someone to take your son for a day or so while you decompress and get a massage... or pedicure... something relaxing. Then get him and go do something fun. Camping? Road trip? Amusement park? Swimming?
  • RissaDean
    RissaDean Posts: 189 Member
    First, it sounds like you need a hug.

    {{HUG}}

    Second, it sounds like you're feeling like things are out of control, and so you're giving up control of the things you can change.

    Maybe start by focusing on fixing one thing at a time - I would suggest planning out a menu for the entire week and sticking with it.

    Keep track of everything you eat, like you were before, and maybe use the notes section in the food diary to log when your headaches start. I noticed when I first started MFP that I would get headaches about 5pm, every day. I didn't notice the time - or that eating 3 crackers fixed it better than advil - until I started writing it down. After 2-3 weeks of headaches, I fixed the issue in 3 days. Now, no more headaches. I just make SURE I eat a little something between lunch and dinner :)

    The left arm thing sounds like something you should see a doctor about. If you can keep track of your food and headaches consistently, take that printout with you to the doctor. They might be able to help you pinpoint why you're getting headaches and maybe some things you can do differently.
  • Kristin111365
    Kristin111365 Posts: 77
    Exercise is going to put you back into control and give you a feeling of power. Remember you cant change the past but you can change the future. Take your son for a walk outside he will love the time you spend with just him and you get the double pleasure of getting out of the house and exercising. If the depression continues see a doctor. Dont give up on your self you ar to important.
  • rockstarmike000
    rockstarmike000 Posts: 53
    check out my new post. it may help you out: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/287590-5-tools-to-lose-all-the-weight-you-want-happily
  • lajoconde62
    lajoconde62 Posts: 5
    I agree with crzynut. Baby steps baby steps baby steps...Depression can zap everything out of you, trust me I know. Don't be so hard on yourself. As the saying goes, "you are what you eat." so stop to think about that when you are nourishing your body. Help is out there you just need to reach out for it. This is a good first step. Don’t give up. Lisa

    8290152.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
  • MillieZ
    MillieZ Posts: 8
    one of my sisters main motivations to get through life is "this too shall pass". Everything does, life is changing constantly, new beginnings are chances to start over. If you think positive thoughts, they keep multiplying. Find the good in every thing. Be thankful for what you do and can do instead of dwelling on what you havent been able to do. Love yourself, you are worthy of joy and peace.:flowerforyou:
  • Runner_mick
    Runner_mick Posts: 115 Member
    Yeah Sounds like you should see a doctor. It could be stress or depression or a combination of them both.
    Good luck with everything. Don't lose hope
    P.S. I am from Utah too :) Don't see very many from Utah on here.
  • ClareOneill
    ClareOneill Posts: 3
    I know exactly how you feel. Go to the doctors. Really, it is the best thing I did for myself. Good luck.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    it does sound like you're depressed...first thing's first...go tanning...get some vitamin D in your system...get your nails done and your hair cut...if that doesn't work, then please go talk to someone...don't let them just hand you a prescription for Paxil, but talk it out first. that's why I recommend a psychologist, or a herbal wellness doctor, they don't give drugs, they work out your problems with you.
  • WiiFitFan
    WiiFitFan Posts: 156 Member
    Take some time to just be still and BREATHE. Deep, calming, relaxing breaths.

    You not only have to take care of yourself, but also your precious son. The wine could be causing your headaches, both from dehydration and sulfites. Wine won't help your sleep, either. Also, if something were to happen during the night you need to be able to protect your son and drinking a bottle of wine by yourself is not going to help you do that.

    Stress can do a lot of damage, both physically and emotionally. A good way to get yourself out of feeling down is to do something good for others. Perhaps you and your son could do a little volunteer work on weekends.

    Start eating healthier and make good choices. Drink lots of water. You know what you need to do and you will feel better for it. You probably should see a doctor about your pains just to be on the safe side.

    It will get better. :) Remember, there is always hope. Not trying to be too preachy, but I do hope that you will pray to God for help. He is there for you and loves you. I'm so glad you reached out to this community for help. You are not alone!
  • qnamcgee
    qnamcgee Posts: 4
    Hang in there. We're here for you. Is there anyone in your family you trust enough to sit down and talk to?
  • MargieHere
    MargieHere Posts: 14 Member
    one of my sisters main motivations to get through life is "this too shall pass". Everything does, life is changing constantly, new beginnings are chances to start over. If you think positive thoughts, they keep multiplying. Find the good in every thing. Be thankful for what you do and can do instead of dwelling on what you havent been able to do. Love yourself, you are worthy of joy and peace.:flowerforyou:

    I am the sister...Millie is my rock!
  • Adrenaline_Queen
    Adrenaline_Queen Posts: 626 Member
    Hun I have sent you a message, if you hurt, you dont train!! No no no.. Your body is saying rest, when it says rest you rest.. Trust me it will be for the best.. xxx Hugs xx
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