Should parents lose custody of super obese kids?
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IDK...I come from a household where my mom controlled how much and what I ate but I somehow managed to sneak and hide food from her. It's not her fault that I was fat/obese as she wasn't feeding me crazy amounts of food that caused me to gain. We didn't eat extremely healthily either (she was on welfare when I was growing up) so the foods we did eat were cheap and quick but our portions were child size.
With all due respect, my mother was a single mother of 2 and also got a lot of help from benefits when we were younger, but instead of buying cheap burgers, she'd buy raw fruit and vegetables and learn to cook. I'm not taking 'being on welfare' as an excuse im afraid, we were giving home cooked, healthy food on a tight budget. and we never had the opportunity in our household to sneak food or hide food, because there was no food to hide, just raw vegetables and fruit! Just wondering if the food you were hiding were chocolates/sweets/crisps etc..? because if it was, then your mother is partly to blame for you being fat as a child..sorry, im just saying0 -
A former colleague once invited me to a church event with her family. I was seated at a table with her 2 yr. old daughter and the rest of the family. I was speechless when the child's plate of food arrived and was placed in front of her by her mother.
The 2 yr. old was served: 3 fried whole chicken wings, about 1 cup of mac & cheese and nearly 3 cups of spagetti! NO KIDDING!! I was in total shock because I didn't know a child this age was capable of eating so much and I was horrified that the mother would dare to put such unhealthy portions on her child's plate.
The child ate half of one wing and a couple spoons of mac and cheese, then she proceeded to move away from the dinner table.
At that moment, you would have thought a fire drill sounded because several members of the family haulted her, even sent for the mother to return from the kitchen and aide with making sure the child remained at the table to finish what was on her plate. The mother came to her child, sat next to her and insisted that she eat all her food.
After awhile, I couldn't watch anymore; I had to leave.
This 2 yr. old weighed so much, I was sure I could not lift her even though I weighed 170 lbs.
Yes indeed! That is child abuse.
That's TERRIFYING, and definitely child abuse. I don't even know if I could eat all that!
I was consistently underweight until age 5, to the point where my mother almost got a visit from CPS. She fed me just as much as my brothers, though, and they weren't underweight. I eventually filled out (obviously), but there was a genetic factor there that people outside the family found troublesome.
I think it can go the other way, but I also think that overfeeding can be just as dangerous to a child as underfeeding. Children are limited by what food the parents buy, and often by what food the parents put on the plate. I think the option should definitely be on the table for the state to intervene when the child is in immediate danger. I also think education and assistance for these families is much more important. It's better to prevent any of this from being necessary in the first place.0 -
I think it's a massive issue and one that effects the family as a whole not just the kids. After all, how many families have you seen where the child is severley overweight and the parents arn't, in those rare cases you can assume a medical condition or perhaps abuse. The issue is in most cases the parents being unable to take care of their own bodies and passing that on to the child. I would love to see a push for education on food and places like Mcdonalds being made to create awareness of the damage fast food can do to your body, and hopefully follow suit by increasing the quality of their meat and produce generally.
I don't know if anyone saw "Jamie's Food Revolution" but that hit on some of the big issues contributing to childhood obesity.0 -
*bump*
A thought provoking debate for sure...not sure what I think. And may come back and post more later, but I defintely want to keep track of what's being said, as I was an overweight child and would've been classed as obese by today's standards.0 -
I don't think that weight itself should be the judging factor--but nourishment. Being underweight can be attributed to different things, such as being premature, or high metabolism, but they still receive the right nutritional content to be healthy.
I guess one would have to ask if an obese child is receiving the nutritional content they should be. I know as a nurse and many obese adults (and alcoholics), they are malnourished due to irratic eating habits, binging and crazy diets. This can be translated into the children. Tough question.0 -
I'm not sure on that one, I think like anything, you'd have to take it case by case. I was so sad to see the statistic 'Roughly 2 million U.S. children are extremely obese.' That is double the amount of children we have in our entire country! Heart breaking.
I always wonder, for folks who are hyper into taking kids away (as opposed to taking steps to keep families together) if they have adopted or would be willing to adopt?
There aren't enough foster/adoptive parents, as it is.
Debbie0 -
To be the devils advocate (and being from Canada and knowing the changes to the American health care system)--how will you feel about paying taxes/health care costs for other people that choose to eat, drink and do to their bodies what they will and to their children? These people and their kids is what forces up healthcare costs due to chronic illnesses that are considered PREVENTABLE. Obesity is preventable is most people (there are some diseases that make low weight nearly impossible).
I'm all for pro-choice, but honestly, as a nurse, i think the government should be able to say when enough is enough, and when they can draw the line to limit costs. If you chose to live a healthy lifestyle and suddenly needed hospitalization for whatever reason, but had to wait because the beds were already full of people from chronic heart problems, strokes, diabetes, etc., you'd likely get a little frustrated too. Your wait times increase substantially and you get worse care based on time for diagnosis. I just think its a little uneven. Same analogy can be used if I needed a lung transplant and i was a smoker, and you needed one and you werent a smoker, and I got the priority regardless of how preventable lunch cancer can be.
That's my two cents, like I said, I'm pro choice, but I hope people make better choices every day. I love my job, but its sometimes exhausting listening to people that neglect themselves intentionally, some don't know better because of lack of education/age, and some choose to keep themselves mal-informed; and then there's me: we have the tools and knowledge and we cant get our crap together
hehe 0 -
I think that like the others have said, there should be things in place to prevent it from happening. I agree that there is no reason for a really obese child, it's purely down to bad parenting imo (someone hit the nail on the head when they talked about the parents bringing the food into the house). I understand a little puppy fat, but i've seen kids here that are four and bigger than me - and i'm overweight for my size, age etc.
My kids are only two, they eat the same but are chalk and cheese. One would happily gorge on sweet things all day if he was allowed, the other doesn't mind much. I'm quite strict with their food, home make and freeze a lot of their meals so that they are eating healthily when i'm not around. Don't get me wrong they get the odd bit of convenience food but their overall diet is good. I'm strict about it because i didn't want them to grow up eating how i did. My parents worked, a lot, so we had a lot of convenience food, but they also had bad habits. The shopping would come home and my dad would be straight into the bags for two chocolate yoghurts, a packet of crisps and two slices of bread and butter. Nobody in my family or near to me exercised.
I know i'm in control of my own eating etc but growing up with that to watch will of course affect the choices you make. Then before you realise it you're fat! I don't want my kids to grow up and have to face the battle i'm facing - that's why i'm fighting it now.
I think it would be really beneficial though if people were actually taught about nutrition etc. When i was at school the home ec class was about making chocolate and cheese bread - there was nothing about what sort of food we should be eating etc. It's a whole new thing that i'm having to explore by myself - and doing it whilst trying to juggle a job and two kids is tough. It should be something we grow up learning about. Half of the problem in my opinion now is that nobody really knows what a healthy balanced diet is until they actively go looking to find out.0 -
The mother's in the article where CPS intervened, did NOT lose their children in 5 minutes. CPS usually doesn't make immediate decisions on whether a child should be removed from a home unless there is imminent bodily harm. The mothers knew there was an open CPS case against them. CPS workers must investigate all situation.
What I find sad is when parents complain that they have no time to cook so all they can do is feed their children fast food and processed food. And honestly for anyone to have that excuse is rediculous! Oatmeal takes 1 minutes to make in the microwave. It takes 5 minutes to season chicken breasts and put them on a pan and into the oven. Do something else for the next 45 minutes and there will also be pre-made chicken for fast meals. No one is saying be a gourmet chef. But chili in a crockpot is cheap, healthy and easy to make.
I do understand that there are more sales on processed foods than wholesome foods. BUT 1 apple will fill a person up much more than a sleeve of sugar-filled Oreo cookies. So 2 apples is definitely cheaper than a package of Oreos. Wholesome foods fill humans up faster and for longer. Hence in the long run, making them the same price or cheaper.
WIC (government benefits) are very strict with what parents can buy. They include wholesome healthy foods. So that excuse flies out the window.
I do blame my mother for most of my horrible eating habits. She never cooked and all we ate was junk, processed, refined foods. So that is what I knew. Nutritional foods are down the "center ailses." We know what we are taught by schools, parents, and tv. It took me many years to learn how to feed my body. If I was told my snack was an apple or nothing, I truly believe I would've known many years ago that I love apples and that they fuel the body for the long term not the quick sugar fix.
With all that prefaced, I truly believe in intervention before removal. I think if groups can implement free nutrition and cooking classes for parents than many of these cases won't become super obese/child abuse cases. But if intervention doesn't work and the child is still obese then yes, maybe removal is the best for the child.0 -
When there are children out there being physically and emotionally harmed, on purpose, that are still no taken away I find it ridiculous that a child would be taken away. In many cases the parents were never taught to eat right as well and dont understand what the problem is.
How about making healthy eating classes available for FREE. Everywhere I have seen you have to pay for them, something families arent willing to do. Maybe even having sports activities for kids a no charge or low cost.
You can't just take kids away from families who just don't understand the implications or know how to change it.0 -
I think that a more positive approach to this situation is something that was mentioned earlier and that would be nutrition classes etc. It is more damaging to a child to be taken away from there parent and have to go through the trauma of that situation. By doing this you are adding another level trauma to these children.0
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I do understand that there are more sales on processed foods than wholesome foods. BUT 1 apple will fill a person up much more than a sleeve of sugar-filled Oreo cookies. So 2 apples is definitely cheaper than a package of Oreos. Wholesome foods fill humans up faster and for longer. Hence in the long run, making them the same price or cheaper.
THIS.0 -
I think removing a child from the home for this reason alone could be more harmful then helpful to the child.
I think in this situation, the parents should have to undergo nutrition and fitness classes as well as a parenting course.
The child should also be given instructions on nutrition and fitness and see a child psychologist, etc.0 -
i just watched an episode of maury where the moms were just completely destroyed over how big their babies were. i mean 120 pound 4 year old! but it came down to the parents not being educated about what their kids needed to eat and how much. they had been giving into kids HORRIBLE tantrums for more fast food and didnt know what to do. i know the easy thing to say is everybody knows to not give your kid junk all day everyday. but when you have a picky child that wont eat anything else, its really hard to stick to. my nephew refused to eat anything other than chicken nuggets, french fries and cereal for over a year. but he was never fat. and dr said just to make sure he ate something. i dont think it should be treated as child abuse. but i do think education and follow ups should be placed.0
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I was an overweight child, but it was not because of what my mom made and served, because she home made everything and made sure we had all of our fruits and vegetables. We were poor (even though I didn't know it) and never had fast food unless it was a special occasion. we would go out to dinner once a year on Halloween. As a kid I was ALWAYS outside running around the neighborhood and swimming. My day in the summer was get up, put on swimsuit, eat a banana or nectarine, swim until lunch, put on new swimsuit, eat lunch, get back in pool, get out put new swimsuit on, eat dinner get back into pool until almost dark, walk down to store get a snack (usually 5 little penny tootsie rolls) walk home, read a little bit, go to bed. We were so poor that we went without tv for 2 years because it was broken and couldn't afford to get it fixed. We read and played games in the winter and played outside all day in the summer.
My son is 7 years old, 46 3/4 inches tall and 63 pounds. He has lost 2 pounds since I changed the way we eat, but he is pure muscle. He plays a lot of video games, but he acts them out while he is playing them. He has autism and so he gets stuck on things for a while but I know soon he will go back to playing with his regular toys. He runs around the house like a madman too. the doctor is not concerned about my son's weight, he is more concerned about his speech and the fact that my son is having a difficult time with potty training.0 -
The big issue is these people who are on a lower income..or for that matter on welfare. When you can go to McDonalds..and feed your 3 kids off the dollar menut..for about $10..where can you do that in a grocery store..where veggies are quite expensive..0
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I am actually on food stamps and was on "welfare" for a couple of months but still managed to buy fresh fruits and vegetables that were ON SALE. Fast food is expensive and so is restaurant eating. I don't understand how people on welfare eat that food every day when they can buy healthier food in the store for cheaper! a loaf of bread and some lunch meat or peanut butter and jelly is 4 dollars and some change if you buy store brand, a box of low glycemic pasta and some spaghetti sauce (low sodium ragu) is 4 dollars and some change, add a pound of ground round it comes to 7.29. frozen veggies are a buck, make some hamburger patties with the hamburger, a thing of hamburger buns is a buck, 50 cents if you find them on quick sale. I find great deals all the time and I have 80 dollars a week to work with. we get 82 a month in food stamps, the rest comes out of our bank account. Finding cheap healthy meal choices are not hard. I have been doing it for over a year.0
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I really don't think losing custody of the kids is the answer here. I mean I am sure parents don't want their kids to be obese and aren't trying to make them that way. Not feeding your kids is an intentional form of abuse, but overfeeding them usually isn't intentional. But counseling the parents and family on nutrition and exercise would certainly help them make better decisions and help stop the obesity cycle.
I was obese growing up, but I know my family certainly loved me and weren't trying to make me that way. What I needed was a healthy role model as a kid to really teach me about portion sizes and exercise. As an adult I've become my own healthy role model and will set an example for my own kids.0 -
CHILD ABUSE!0
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A former colleague once invited me to a church event with her family. I was seated at a table with her 2 yr. old daughter and the rest of the family. I was speechless when the child's plate of food arrived and was placed in front of her by her mother.
The 2 yr. old was served: 3 fried whole chicken wings, about 1 cup of mac & cheese and nearly 3 cups of spagetti! NO KIDDING!! I was in total shock because I didn't know a child this age was capable of eating so much and I was horrified that the mother would dare to put such unhealthy portions on her child's plate.
The child ate half of one wing and a couple spoons of mac and cheese, then she proceeded to move away from the dinner table.
At that moment, you would have thought a fire drill sounded because several members of the family haulted her, even sent for the mother to return from the kitchen and aide with making sure the child remained at the table to finish what was on her plate. The mother came to her child, sat next to her and insisted that she eat all her food.
After awhile, I couldn't watch anymore; I had to leave.
This 2 yr. old weighed so much, I was sure I could not lift her even though I weighed 170 lbs.
Yes indeed! That is child abuse.
wow, what an experience, that is just HORRIBLE!! I agree it is def CHILD ABUSE!0
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