Gym Phobia
saramichelle89
Posts: 65 Member
Hi everyone! I know people post about this all the time and I sound like a broken record but I have true gym phobia. I absolutely will not and feel like I "can not" go into a gym where there is 10+ people working out. I have this fear that I will do something wrong and everyone will stare or laugh at me, or I look too fat, or I don't know what I am doing. I will try to if someone is with me, but still find it very hard.
How do you get over that? Do you have any tips to share what helped you or people you know? Its really getting in the way of my personal development because I know I could be so much more than this.. :-(
How do you get over that? Do you have any tips to share what helped you or people you know? Its really getting in the way of my personal development because I know I could be so much more than this.. :-(
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Replies
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Aww, that's brutal. Wish I had some better advice than "fake it 'til you make it" but I think starting at a gym is just like starting any other new thing. You just have to step out of your comfort zone. Maybe you could start off with a personal trainer to familiarize you with some of the equipment. That would at least help alleviate your worry that you'll do something wrong. Good luck!7
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Believe in yourself. Be there for you. Remember even gym rats started somewhere. If you have a question ask an employee. Gym atmosphere is not what it used to be.3
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This happens to me every time I go but what I do to make my self feel better is see videos on YouTube about how to use cardio machines or etc machine and then when I get there I see someone do it and I do the same thing they do so I get the reassurance that I am doing it right4
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It took me 1 week after I purchased my gym membership to actually get the courage to walk threw the door. Once I was there I realized, I wasn't the only over weight person in the building. Like wow! People are like me lol. No one paid attention to me, they where all wrapped up doing there own thing & I was the last person on their mind. The staff was nice enough to show me how to use the machines, almost 2 months later gym days are a must in my weekly schedule I go 5-6 times a week. I love the gym! I put my headphones in & rock my workout. I do me & they do them6
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Maybe try your local YMCA? Ask them about least crowded times, and beginner instruction. I hate all gyms (or more like all gym equipment and people of any kind), but my sister much prefers the Y over other pricier ones - says the staff are friendly, helpful, and the people working out are more like her (she is 5'1" and 180.)
The website of my local Y has all kinds of helpful info - they even have a series of 101 classes actually designed for people new to that particular activity. They do personal and small group training too.
https://www.ymcatriangle.org/programs-services/fitness/new-fitness0 -
Just remember that you are really not that special. you are not the fattest, the oldest, the youngest, the blondest, the nicest, the whatever-est there, and that really, other people dont give a red rats *kitten* about what youre doing, cuz they are there for the work THEY need to do. The times I have been to the gym in the past, everyone had their head down and was concentrating on their workout, and seriously - the queen could have walked in and no one would notice unless she failed to wipe down the equipment after she used it. I think you are making this a bigger issue in your head than it actually is, so give it a try and see how it goes. Recognize that what you are feeling is an irrational fear that can be overcome. And if people DO actually talk about you, whats the worst that could happen? Will you die? I think you are smarter than that.8
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When I do something embarrassing, I laugh it off. Not a pretend laugh where I'm hoping nobody saw, but a sincere laugh because what I did was goofy and I kinda hope others got a chuckle out of it as well. If they see you and laugh, nothing is actually going to happen to you. If you do something that you think is wrong/doesn't match with what you've seen others doing, ask an employee, they are there to help and seem more than happy to do it. But like @tedmagmer said, believe in yourself. There's a motivational poster in my gym that says, "Believe in yourself and you're halfway there." Sounds simple and silly, but having confidence in yourself can really do wonders. Enjoy the gym!3
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I didn't, I bought an inexpensive elliptical and run at home. I can control what I watch on tv, and hop right in the show afterwards.1
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If you can afford - and have access to - a personal trainer, that might help. (S)he can help you with form, so that you won't have to worry about doing something "wrong." (S)he can also advise you on a plan, so that you will know what to do when you get there.0
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cross2bear wrote: »Just remember that you are really not that special. you are not the fattest, the oldest, the youngest, the blondest, the nicest, the whatever-est there, and that really, other people dont give a red rats *kitten* about what youre doing, cuz they are there for the work THEY need to do. The times I have been to the gym in the past, everyone had their head down and was concentrating on their workout, and seriously - the queen could have walked in and no one would notice unless she failed to wipe down the equipment after she used it. I think you are making this a bigger issue in your head than it actually is, so give it a try and see how it goes. Recognize that what you are feeling is an irrational fear that can be overcome. And if people DO actually talk about you, whats the worst that could happen? Will you die? I think you are smarter than that.
This post is absolutely perfect and correct!
If you just can't get yourself to go when it's most convenient for you because you are afraid of there being too many people there at the time, then get up super early and hit the gym as soon as they open. For my gym, that time is 4am. I've gone at that time when I've had a wierd work schedule and still needed to get my workout in. There will still be people there, but not very many at all. And the ones that are there, I guarantee you they are there to knock out their workout and they won't be paying attention to what you are doing.
Be yourself. Do your thing. The hardest part is walking through the door. Once you're in, the rest is easy!3 -
After going to the gym myself, I can say that no one cares or looks at other people and thinks anything about them
I weighed 270 lbs and was running around at the gym and doing weights, and I cannot say anyone ever stared at me. I saw people bigger than me doing the same and I cannot say I ever paid attention to them either. I think if you can take this into consideration, it may help you a little bit! 3 -
Don't pay attention to what others are doing....focus on what you're doing. You're merely one of the dozens of other regular people in the gym getting their workout in.
Even when I see someone do something "embarassing", trip over something, etc I don't laugh....they just tripped or whatever. Big deal. Who cares? (I just hope they didn't damage themselves of course)
Use the opportunity to experience being part of the solution....getting in there like others, and working towards your goal. Glancing around while resting between sets is a great way to get motivation. You yourself may be somebody's "goal weight/shape" just as you are right now!!!
Side note: I like the YMCA because their cardio machines have little TV's installed on them lol.....1 -
The TRUTH IS - NOBODY gives a Crap unless you drop something on them or spray yourself with so much perfume I have an asthma attack..4
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cross2bear wrote: »Just remember that you are really not that special. you are not the fattest, the oldest, the youngest, the blondest, the nicest, the whatever-est there, and that really, other people dont give a red rats *kitten* about what youre doing, cuz they are there for the work THEY need to do. The times I have been to the gym in the past, everyone had their head down and was concentrating on their workout, and seriously - the queen could have walked in and no one would notice unless she failed to wipe down the equipment after she used it. I think you are making this a bigger issue in your head than it actually is, so give it a try and see how it goes. Recognize that what you are feeling is an irrational fear that can be overcome. And if people DO actually talk about you, whats the worst that could happen? Will you die? I think you are smarter than that.
Sassy! Thanks. Will do.1 -
cross2bear wrote: »Just remember that you are really not that special. you are not the fattest, the oldest, the youngest, the blondest, the nicest, the whatever-est there, and that really, other people dont give a red rats *kitten* about what youre doing, cuz they are there for the work THEY need to do. The times I have been to the gym in the past, everyone had their head down and was concentrating on their workout, and seriously - the queen could have walked in and no one would notice unless she failed to wipe down the equipment after she used it. I think you are making this a bigger issue in your head than it actually is, so give it a try and see how it goes. Recognize that what you are feeling is an irrational fear that can be overcome. And if people DO actually talk about you, whats the worst that could happen? Will you die? I think you are smarter than that.
Oh YES...THIS!! Just GO!1 -
I had this as well. Here's how I got over it. I put on the music on my little ipod, put earbuds in, and entered into my bubble of invisibility. Honestly, listening to the music helped to block out other distractions. And then focusing on whatever I was doing (without dying) distracted me more. And before I went to the free weight side of the gym, I watched those over there and watched a ton of videos on form and then put on my bubble of invisibility and went over there.
After a few months, I began naming the other regulars which made them less scary. There was ManWithAYellowHat, Bro of Bros, the Siamese Twins, Man Who Marches to a Different Drummer, Mr. Consistency... One afternoon, ManWithAYellowHat complimented me on how hard I'd been working and how consistent I was. And then more pleasantries were exchanged with he and several of the others. Now I don't need the Invisibility Bubble any more and know that if a bar would fall on me, one of them would lift it off of me.
I tell you this as the most awkward, shy, introvert ever created, people might notice you; but 99 out of 100 are not judging you. You're all there with the same goal, just to do a little bit better than you did the last time.12 -
sydnisd183 wrote: »Don't pay attention to what others are doing....focus on what you're doing. You're merely one of the dozens of other regular people in the gym getting their workout in.
Even when I see someone do something "embarassing", trip over something, etc I don't laugh....they just tripped or whatever. Big deal. Who cares? (I just hope they didn't damage themselves of course)
Use the opportunity to experience being part of the solution....getting in there like others, and working towards your goal. Glancing around while resting between sets is a great way to get motivation. You yourself may be somebody's "goal weight/shape" just as you are right now!!!
Side note: I like the YMCA because their cardio machines have little TV's installed on them lol.....
Just got to make sure you don't get on the machine where the TV is stuck on the E! channel. After an hour of Keeping up with the Kardashians I was ready to kill someone.10 -
The best way to get through it is to just think about why you actually care what other people think of you. People in a gym are going to notice you, they see everyone pretty consistently that it is hard not to notice a new person. But just because they notice you, doesn't mean they care you are there. Get in there and do your thing. If you don't know how something works, ask someone (not while they are in the middle of a rep or on a machine, wait until they are between exercising) and most people are very friendly/helpful in a gym. We're all going through the same thing in a gym, trying for personal gains. Very rarely have I seen people not be helpful in a gym when asked, and more often than not, these are the ones who get interrupted mid-exercise.
If you can afford it, hire a trainer for a few sessions to walk you around and show you how to use the equipment with proper form. Make sure you ask people before you jump onto a machine they were using if you think they are just taking a breather. A lot of times in a busy gym, people won't mind letting you do a set between their sets while they rest if you ask, rerack their weights and wipe off equipment when you are done. Pretty simple etiquette will make sure no one cares you are there.
Oh, and most of us in a gym think we're fat. So that's the easy part, you're not alone there.2 -
You just have to realize that everyone pretty much feels the same way - awkward. It's a weird situation and similar to speaking in public. It's unnatural because it has not become part of your routine yet.
Find a friend to work out with you or get a trainer for the first few sessions until it becomes part of your normal.0 -
A gym can be a fairly intimidating environment to enter, especially if you are new. Using a trainer will help get you into the actual gym, help you learn the in's and out's of how that particular gym works, and puts you on the right track to achieve your goals.0
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I workout at home when no one else is home.0
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I put on my headphones & concentrate on the music. I'm there for me & I know several ppl feel the same way as you do.0
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I put on my headphones & concentrate on the music. I'm there for me & I know several ppl feel the same way as you do.
^^ Yes, I was going to say the exact same thing. My headphones go on the second I walk into a gym, or go running, and I zone out the rest of the world. That moment becomes about me, the music, and my thoughts.0 -
Stop giving other people so much power over you. Even if anyone cared (they don't) all you would be doing is feeding into their game, and letting them win. Hit the gym in a tank with the words "F*** OFF" boldly printed on the front, and go do your thing.2
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BruinsGal_91 wrote: »sydnisd183 wrote: »Don't pay attention to what others are doing....focus on what you're doing. You're merely one of the dozens of other regular people in the gym getting their workout in.
Even when I see someone do something "embarassing", trip over something, etc I don't laugh....they just tripped or whatever. Big deal. Who cares? (I just hope they didn't damage themselves of course)
Use the opportunity to experience being part of the solution....getting in there like others, and working towards your goal. Glancing around while resting between sets is a great way to get motivation. You yourself may be somebody's "goal weight/shape" just as you are right now!!!
Side note: I like the YMCA because their cardio machines have little TV's installed on them lol.....
Just got to make sure you don't get on the machine where the TV is stuck on the E! channel. After an hour of Keeping up with the Kardashians I was ready to kill someone.
My YMCA has a few treadmills that have the weirdest closed captioning stuck on them...it's like nothing even resembling any language I have ever seen. So bizarre.
I love my Y though because it's full of seniors, people with physical disabilities, and kids from the nearby "alternative" high school making up phys ed credits, and there's no intimidation factor at all. There are definitely some very fit people also, but by and large I always feel super comfortable there because it's such a diverse crowd and the staff are always super patient and kind.
Plus I love the transparent pricing (unlike big box gyms here that seem to have a different price for everyone depending on what day you sign up and pain-in-the-kitten contracts and general shadiness) and the fact that my money goes to support community programs and underprivileged kids and all that.1 -
People always say that no one cares about what you're doing or how you look but I don't think that's the right way to think about the situation. I'd like to meet the person who has never silently judged someone else, they'd be a true saint.
The way I like to think about situations like that is simply this: if someone is judging me negatively, why do I care? Is that the type of person that I want to impress and become best buds with? Absolutely not. Let them judge. I've been happily living my life without their approval up until this point and I'll continue to do so long after.2 -
So don't go to the gym
Go for a walk, do a fitness video
Just can the excuses and move
AlsoMichael190lbs wrote: »The TRUTH IS - NOBODY gives a Crap unless you drop something on them or spray yourself with so much perfume I have an asthma attack..
I don't even give a crap if you have an asthma attack :bigsmile:4 -
So don't go to the gym
Go for a walk, do a fitness video
Just can the excuses and move
AlsoMichael190lbs wrote: »The TRUTH IS - NOBODY gives a Crap unless you drop something on them or spray yourself with so much perfume I have an asthma attack..
I don't even give a crap if you have an asthma attack :bigsmile:
Got to love honesty in its raw form lol- on a serious note not all gyms are equal find a good one for your goals
Caution some foul language
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having a plan and a programme makes a major difference. feeling lost in a gym just gains power over you when you have nothing to fight it back with . . . but when you go in there knowing that you're there to do x, it takes your focus off the environment and puts it onto something that you can actually do something with.
my personal experience is that a genuine phobia DOES respond to desensitization training. i don't have gym fear, but i have an absolutely involuntary, overwhelmingly physical terror of heights. i didn't even consciously know i had it, actually. but one day i set out to ride to work instead of driving, and it came over me when i was already out on the bridge. the only reason i didn't get off the bike and plaster whole body to the sidewalk was because i was too terrified to do even the 'instability' of taking one foot off the pedal and putting it onto the ground. i was actually too afraid of my own fear to give in to it, if that makes sense to you. i spent the whole day at work having involuntary flashbacks and reflex terrors. i kept slamming my back into the back of my chair just to feel i was pressed against something solid and i was safe. and then i had to go home and i had them all night as well.
but i went back the next day and did it again, because my choices were: bike to work or don't bike to work and i wanted to bike to work. it was bad for about two weeks, i guess. and then it began to ease up a little. took me three of four months to become fully comfortable, but it happened.2
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