eating too much
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CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »comptonelizabeth wrote: »snowflake954 wrote: »comptonelizabeth wrote: »He does acknowledge in one of these threads that he suffers from depression. It's hard to respond to someone who is very depressed and low but,maybe it's then better to just not respond? This forum probably isn't the best place for someone suffering from depression but to say that they're wallowing in self pity etc seems a little harsh. I get that it's frustrating when someone doesn't seem to respond to advice- so maybe just scroll past it then?
I'm relatively new here too by the way so haven't seen all the op 's earlier posts.
Do yourself a favor and read them. It's easy, he just started another one. By the way, we are NOT the meanies you may think we are. People on here are not always what they seem.
I don't think you're meanies at all - sorry if that's how it came across.
I just looked at his previous threads,1 of which is closed so I couldn't read it. He says he suffers from clinical depression. That's beyond the help and remit of a forum like this. All I was saying was,if it's irritating or you feel like you can't say anything more then it's better to say nothing.
op also said that they didnt have depression @ first and did not have low self esteem(thats probably in the closed threads), they said they hated their life and couldnt wait for it to end.that having a partner would make them happy,the OP also could not understand that going up to random people and asking them out was not the right way to go and would be rejected based on that. The op was told to get out, find some hobbies,make friends and meet someone that way and build up to asking someone out after you got to know the other person.. only to go online and throw several whoa is me threads.OP was also told to see someone over and over and claimed nothing was wrong with them and they needed no help.
Oh well ,in that case - some people are beyond anything this forum can offer!1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
At your own peril. You cannot run after all that lentils and chickpeas go in.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Look what I had for dinner last night
I'm coming to your house! That looks delicious!
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Okay, fine, you said you would try the suggestions and you like yourself and so on and so forth. I have one question: what do you expect to get out of this thread that you haven't in your previous 10?2
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If you like yourself, would you consider treating yourself as if you do?LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »
actually i said I do have depression and that I would like a partner but not that it would solve all my problems. I am taking the advice of finding hobbies. I do like myself though but my life is sad since I only come home to tv
I feel your pain. I suffered years of depression. What I didn't know was that most of it was self inflicted. I also didn't know, silly as it sounds, that if I kept doing what I was doing, I would keep getting what I was getting. I needed to try something new, but I didn't know what.
The "what" turned out to be something incredibly simple, but difficult at the same time. Take the risk of letting someone else in. And it is risky. Some people will hurt you. Others though, will love you through the bad times, even if you keep trying to push them away. See a professional therapist. A good therapist isn't going to look down on you, or minimize you, or treat you as if you're less than. Take the risk. The payoffs can be huge and can make you wonder why you waited so long.
Oh - full disclosure here - I'm about 30 years past my own dark night of the soul, have an incredibly awesome wife and family and some of the best friends a guy could ask for, and yet I STILL deal with feelings of loneliness. What I do today is pray, go talk to someone, meditate - whatever works that isn't unhealthy.
Being "obese" isn't your problem. That can be as temporary as you want it to be. So can being lonely. Again, wishing you well.
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LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »
If you like yourself, would you consider treating yourself as if you do?LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »
actually i said I do have depression and that I would like a partner but not that it would solve all my problems. I am taking the advice of finding hobbies. I do like myself though but my life is sad since I only come home to tv
I feel your pain. I suffered years of depression. What I didn't know was that most of it was self inflicted. I also didn't know, silly as it sounds, that if I kept doing what I was doing, I would keep getting what I was getting. I needed to try something new, but I didn't know what.
The "what" turned out to be something incredibly simple, but difficult at the same time. Take the risk of letting someone else in. And it is risky. Some people will hurt you. Others though, will love you through the bad times, even if you keep trying to push them away. See a professional therapist. A good therapist isn't going to look down on you, or minimize you, or treat you as if you're less than. Take the risk. The payoffs can be huge and can make you wonder why you waited so long.
Oh - full disclosure here - I'm about 30 years past my own dark night of the soul, have an incredibly awesome wife and family and some of the best friends a guy could ask for, and yet I STILL deal with feelings of loneliness. What I do today is pray, go talk to someone, meditate - whatever works that isn't unhealthy.
Being "obese" isn't your problem. That can be as temporary as you want it to be. So can being lonely. Again, wishing you well.
I'm really happy you're better now and have a family who loves you and best friends. Really happy for you. What type of meditation do you do? I've been trying guided meditation/mindfulness. I want to let people in but no woman wants to date me, I've asked...
And this is where you're very frustrating. Try letting people in BEFORE you try dating them. Talk about putting the cart before the horse.
Get to know people without the agenda. When the first thing you do to a woman you meet is ask her out, you may as well tell her you don't give a crap about her as a person, you just want her for purely superficial reasons.3 -
LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »Okay, fine, you said you would try the suggestions and you like yourself and so on and so forth. I have one question: what do you expect to get out of this thread that you haven't in your previous 10?
I write on MFP to express my thoughts/feelings
Then may I direct you to a feature that may be better suited for that purpose? You can start a myfitnesspal blog and write about your feelings in details without spamming the forums with the same post written differently. If that's really why you are writing and not for attention seeking, then you wouldn't care if you get few to no comments on your blog.
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LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »Okay, fine, you said you would try the suggestions and you like yourself and so on and so forth. I have one question: what do you expect to get out of this thread that you haven't in your previous 10?
I write on MFP to express my thoughts/feelings
Then may I direct you to a feature that may be better suited for that purpose? You can start a myfitnesspal blog and write about your feelings in details without spamming the forums with the same post written differently. If that's really why you are writing and not for attention seeking, then you wouldn't care if you get few to no comments on your blog.
I do like people to read it because it makes me feel better to known people understand. A problem shared is a problem halved. Otherwise I'd just write it on a journal or something
That's exactly my point. People who are interested and who understand would read your blogs, which would weed out the negative comments and stop your posts from looking like trolling spam.1 -
LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »going to eat too much because others are in relationships and I've never been
Which will change nothing for the better.
Get treated for depression.
Work on your social skills.0 -
Mary_Anastasia wrote: »I'm a lonely obese chica but cmon man chin up. Or "chins" up for us lol! Figure out what sort of person you want to be and be that person! I want to be a jogger, so I'm working my way up to jogging. I want to be a photographer, so I tell people I am (it's not my income source but that doesn't mean anything!). Be your best, be you, and don't ever hate yourself for trying!
"chins up" hahahah I'm stealin that one0 -
"I used to think every time something was not right in my life it was because I was fat. I grew up being treated differently at home and at school because I was fat (in those days, overweight children were the minority)."
My ex-girlfriend thought like this. Know what? The reason she's an ex- isn't because she was fat. She's an ex- because after complaining, she refused to do anything about it and I got tired of the whining.
If you want your life to improve, you've got to take control of it. That means lifestyle changes and, above all, changing the way you think about YOU.
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LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »going to eat too much because others are in relationships and I've never been
This is the battle. We all have the capacity to go down this road, the sooner you find comfort in other things including WORK, the sooner you will learn to have the discipline to get health for your body. Embrace the nitty-grity of any kind of work including food planning and discipline and you will attract beauty.0 -
Raptor2763 wrote: »"I used to think every time something was not right in my life it was because I was fat. I grew up being treated differently at home and at school because I was fat (in those days, overweight children were the minority)."
My ex-girlfriend thought like this. Know what? The reason she's an ex- isn't because she was fat. She's an ex- because after complaining, she refused to do anything about it and I got tired of the whining.
If you want your life to improve, you've got to take control of it. That means lifestyle changes and, above all, changing the way you think about YOU.
It took me a minute to realize you were quoting me. I am responding to the OP, I have no problems with my self esteem in the present day.
And, I agree 100% with self love starting on the inside, which is the message I was trying to get across to the OP. 0
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