It takes as long as it takes

I've been here since July 2013. I lost a few kg up until November 2013, after which my weight began to creep up instead of down. There was some yoyoing back and forth, until I reached my all-time high in spring this year.

During these years, my personal and professional life has been a bit of a mess to put it nicely, but amidst all that I've managed to finish couch-to-5K - twice. Now I'm slowly working toward 8K and 10K. I've learned a lot about my own patterns, including just how much my hormonal cycle and stress affects me.

I've learned about willpower and how we have limited resources of it only during each day (meaning if there are many stressors we simply don't have energy left for exactly everything we'd like), about positive motivation and peer support, and much more. And calories of course.

When you've finally cracked your own code, it is easy to tell others about how you have cracked your own code. But nobody else lives your particular life, so no code will work unless it's your own. Rationally I've understood this even before signing up, but it's only this year that the message has sunk in.

Not only that, but I've finally accepted how unbelievably slow my process needs to be for me to create a true lifestyle change. I've learned to embrace fluctuations of the scale, bad days next to the good ones, a bit more about actively trying to increase my patience (because I don't have a great deal of it), and generally accepting my body for what it is.

Finishing C25K despite excess weight has been a key component in understanding what it is that works for me. I never was athletic when growing up, so it's something I need to put lots of effort on even today, but seeing that even I was able to run for 30 minutes without stopping changed something on a profound level.

So early this year I was at my all-time highest weight. Since then I've lost about a third of what I think I might want to lose. Today I've logged 9.2 kg lost, which corresponds to 20.3 lbs. That was possible only because I stopped plotting weight milestones into my calendar. Yes, I'm one of those people... Accepting that my weight isn't something I can schedule is yet another thing I've rationally known for years I need to stop doing, yet that little voice kept screaming I wasn't doing well enough unless sticking to the statistical 0.5 kg per week. Ugh.

Don't treat yourself as badly as I've done to myself. It only works to bring you down when your body refuses to pretend it's a clockwork you can adjust how you see fit.

And the title of my post? Well, the only advice I have in terms of you doing your own process is to block out what goes on in other people's minds and bodies. They aren't you, you are, and you know best the challenges in your life, including family, work, free time, finances, etc.

It's so easy to get dragged into a progress model that someone else had success with, but in the end your circumstances are as unique as you are. And you don't have to explain any of that to anyone else, not even when they try to pester you into it. Learning facts instead of empty promises of quick fixes is vital, but how you will respond, and when, to decreased calories will plot a unique graph. And your mind works in its own way, carrying your personal history with it, so don't forget this but remind yourself gently of what has made you into the person you are today.

Dance your own dance, sing your own song, and work through your own knots to help you progress rather than stagnate. Be patient, embrace the process and learn what you need to learn. Also, there's nothing wrong in hanging out here while you're waiting to find what will work for you. It's better than giving up entirely.

As for me, I still have nearly 24 kg to lose, but I'll take 9.2 for now. It's 27.9% lost of what I think I'll lose. Adjusting perspective to what's favourable to you is a fantastic idea on this fine Friday, so happy lifestyle change!