We broke up because...
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She decided she preferred the "D"1
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He didn't like it when I talked to other dudes.0
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Too unsteady0
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He kept thinking I was a stripper.. dude.. I'm telling you that's my sister!
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Stretched the truth too often0
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I believed her lies0
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Was a bit too appealing! Had to fight the crowds for her!0
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All her fault, she drugged me,0
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She was using performer enhancing drugs Lulu provided for her0
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Only wanted me for my money0
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Was seducing my Peter pan!0
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She didn't share her peters?0
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my name isn't Peter0
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Didn't have a Pan either!0
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hit me with her pan0
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I hate to be superficial, but he had a huge pan shaped dent in the middle of his face!1
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Judgmental0
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Boring0
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was faceless!0
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didn't like looking at my face0
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he was always awake too early0
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He accused me of not letting him sleep0
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He accused me of having Vikings breath0
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He kept daydreaming about Tom Brady0
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He always wanted me to ...beat..him0
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