A bit of help for a broken heart...

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chloeobe
chloeobe Posts: 72
in Motivation and Support
This post is not directly diet related but here goes...

Ive currently lost a stone from diet and exercise and i feel that im just about there with the muscle tone. I have had a few comments on losing too much, but i think youve got to know when it feels right, right? Its my body..

However the reason for my weight loss was sparked by the recent breakdown of my relationship (i.e he cheated on me with someone younger and thinner). Now im reaching my goal im slightly concerned about how ive thrown myself into weight loss and exercise, and i dont really want to stop. I fear ive used it as a crutch tp take my mind off things and now when i have to slow down I wont really know what to do with myself.

Anyone been through anything similar that might have any words of wisdom, or possibley any advice of what to do next? I just need something to focus on rather than the ratbag!!

Help me please :) xx

Replies

  • smrtcar
    smrtcar Posts: 104 Member
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    Keep doing it for yourself. Maintenance is a delicate balance and requires focus. Join some social sports groups and open your heart to like minded men who care about their health.

    You can always change your motivation once you reach your goals. :)
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    I guess if you think its a crutch. I think other people with a broken hear do things, like bing eat. drugs, soul crushing depression, drinking.

    Your going to be upset anyways, you directed your obsession into something that wont kill you. Have you tried running? couch to 5k was a great running program for me (and free). As long as you don't get anorexic. I mean whats the worst that can happen? look great and have to fight guys off with a stick?

    .. .oh, I guess my advice would be to go get a stick.
  • joannahavana
    joannahavana Posts: 16
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    Break ups are always really horrible and I really feel for you. When I split up with my ex (seven years ago now) I felt like my world had ended and I lost weight so quickly as over the years together my weight had gone up. Now I am with someone else and I am really happy. It just takes time and as the days go by you will start to feel better. Stick with your excercise but just make sure you are eating too. From your picture you look lovely as you are so rather than try to lose more weight work on a happy medium.
    xx
  • caligirl2802
    caligirl2802 Posts: 232 Member
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    I did and still do the exact same thing, I started losing weight as my marriage of 10 years was breaking down and I realised I would eventually be single in the not too distant future. Once we had separated I went from having a family with three kids a bunch of animals and husband to look after to having just me to take care of. I found that I couldn't spend time on my own, and so I focused on diet and exercise, not "for him" as it was my choice to leave, but as a way of running away from dealing with things... I still to some degree do that now...

    My focus for losing weight has now changed, having lost as much as I have I've realised how good I feel in myself and so that is now my motivation, but there are often times when I find myself motivated to work out because I'm running away from dealing with things, or spending time alone. I always tell my friends that the reason I have been able to lose so much weight is because I have no life... I spend every day either at the gym or karate training :)

    Not sure if this helps, but just know you are not alone :)
  • YvetteSmith69
    YvetteSmith69 Posts: 28
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    You don't have to stop and you should not stop. Exercise is so good for our bodies and our minds. Heck, the mind part is a big part of why I exercise. I am a happier person when I exercise regularly. Keep doing it FOR YOU. You will just be maintaining your weight now. As far as the rest goes, when you least expect it someone else will come along and you will forget all about the ratbag.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    (i.e he cheated on me with someone younger and thinner).

    But obviously not more beautiful. Anyway how is that even possible? Going by your profile pic you are like what, 12 or something. Even if you were a stone heavier you would be slim. I guessing your ex then ran off with a male circus performer from Nicaragua called Juan as he wanted to explore his latent homosexuality?

    Ok, with my serious hat on (no, not the one in my pic...) you could use the hurt and anger you feel from your break up and channel it into something else which will improve you and move you forwards. You can take the negative energy from a break up and use it to power you in a positive direction. The world is your oyster and your time is your own. Acting lessons? Backpacking? Learn reflexology? Depends on your interests really.

    I think at some point though you should face your emotions and deal with them. Repressing them never tends to fare very well. You have the right to feel hurt, let down, jealous, resentful, scared or whatever you maybe experiencing. They are normal human reactions and mean you are alive. Accept them, work through them, learn from the experience and move on. Understand that you can't really control other people or the events that life throws your way. You can only control yourself and your reactions.
  • SDH15
    SDH15 Posts: 35
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    Just my 2 cents...


    At this point try to make exercise more of a social event. Like someone above mentioned, sports may be an option. Personally, what I recommend is to join something called CrossFit. In my opinion, that'll solve a lot of your problems. Crossfit is a fitness elite program that is similar to a gym in the way that its a place you go to workout, but different from a gym because you work out together with a group of people who are there to encourage and support you. Its a community, more like a family so you'll make tons of new friends thatll get your mind off that dirtbag. You'll have something to feed your exercise addiction - and believe me, crossfitters will make you the best of the best. And most importantly, you wont need to worry about "losing too much weight" because the coaches there will be watching you at all times, making sure every exercise you do has some sort of benefit to your health or everyday functional strength. Who knows maybe you'll find a new man there.

    I did crossfit for two months and enjoyed it greatly, its what kick started me into getting seriously fit. Now I just do insanity at home due to time commitments. I recommended it because I had a friend who was in a similar situation to you who joined crossfit, and now shes a crossfit fanatic who has found a whole new set of friends and family (and much happier for it). Her favorite thing about crossfit is the community and the fact that theres one every where you go. She just moved to France and has already found a crossfit there to train at. If you want to see more about Crossfit, just youtube "Crossfit Games". Crossfit welcomes people of all fitness levels...........but word of warning, crossfit have their own philosophy about what is fit/acceptable which many others agree with..........for example, my crossfit gym constantly encouraged people to squat below 90 degrees..........something my Goodlife Trainer consistantly warned me against doing.

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