I can't find my motivation...
cfranklin6353
Posts: 30 Member
*pity party alert*
I don't know if I'm alone here or not. Sometimes I feel like I am.
Does anyone else have difficulty with motivations? I feel like what other people view as a motivation, I just don't. I've tried multiple things...
Accountability buddy - someone who pushes you to eat healthy foods, discourage you from picking non-healthy foods, goes to your workouts with you, and you report to with your progress: There is a person that sits right next to me at work, and is perfectly willing to be my accountability person. I've actually got several accountability people here at work. The problem is, I just don't care if I let them down. I just don't feel like that keeps me in check. I get this, "Yeah, so I ate a 1 pound bag of M&M's, so sue me" mentality.
Food journal - i.e, My Fitness Pal, writing down what I eat, etc.: Again...I either just don't record when I eat crap, or I do record it and say, "Eh, whatever." Even when presenting my food journals to my accountability people, I brush it off and say, "Oh, well, I ate it, so get over it."
Workout buddy - someone who goes to the gym with you: Same problem as the accountability buddy. I duck out on her and just say, "I'm tired/had a bad day/don't feel well. We'll go next week!"
Rewards - things you would give yourself or do when you lose x-amount of weight or get to a size: I currently have 3 such goals in place. The problem? I say, "One day, when I lose the weight, I want to do this." And just wait for "one day" to come. It's almost like it's fun to think about, but I don't have the motivation to make it happen. And the reward is not motivation enough.
I put pictures on my refrigerator, but when I eat crap, I just look at them and get more depressed. I bought a cute outfit in the size I want to be, and hung it on my closet door, where I would see it every day. It hung there a whole year when I gained 60 pounds. I looked at it every day. I just felt like I was torturing myself.
I tell myself, "Well, you've already ruined today, so you may as well enjoy it." and I gorge myself on junk.
I just feel like everyone else can find something, but I'm spinning my wheels. Maybe I'm just not being creative enough? I know there HAS to be something out there to push me to succeed.
Anyone have this issue, or have some new and creative motivational tactics?
I don't know if I'm alone here or not. Sometimes I feel like I am.
Does anyone else have difficulty with motivations? I feel like what other people view as a motivation, I just don't. I've tried multiple things...
Accountability buddy - someone who pushes you to eat healthy foods, discourage you from picking non-healthy foods, goes to your workouts with you, and you report to with your progress: There is a person that sits right next to me at work, and is perfectly willing to be my accountability person. I've actually got several accountability people here at work. The problem is, I just don't care if I let them down. I just don't feel like that keeps me in check. I get this, "Yeah, so I ate a 1 pound bag of M&M's, so sue me" mentality.
Food journal - i.e, My Fitness Pal, writing down what I eat, etc.: Again...I either just don't record when I eat crap, or I do record it and say, "Eh, whatever." Even when presenting my food journals to my accountability people, I brush it off and say, "Oh, well, I ate it, so get over it."
Workout buddy - someone who goes to the gym with you: Same problem as the accountability buddy. I duck out on her and just say, "I'm tired/had a bad day/don't feel well. We'll go next week!"
Rewards - things you would give yourself or do when you lose x-amount of weight or get to a size: I currently have 3 such goals in place. The problem? I say, "One day, when I lose the weight, I want to do this." And just wait for "one day" to come. It's almost like it's fun to think about, but I don't have the motivation to make it happen. And the reward is not motivation enough.
I put pictures on my refrigerator, but when I eat crap, I just look at them and get more depressed. I bought a cute outfit in the size I want to be, and hung it on my closet door, where I would see it every day. It hung there a whole year when I gained 60 pounds. I looked at it every day. I just felt like I was torturing myself.
I tell myself, "Well, you've already ruined today, so you may as well enjoy it." and I gorge myself on junk.
I just feel like everyone else can find something, but I'm spinning my wheels. Maybe I'm just not being creative enough? I know there HAS to be something out there to push me to succeed.
Anyone have this issue, or have some new and creative motivational tactics?
0
Replies
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Motivation is an overrated emotion and will always and forever come and go. We all do things every single day for which we aren't motivated to do. I'm pretty much never motivated to clean the bathroom or do the dishes or vacuum the house...but I do them because otherwise my house would be an unlivable cesspool. Well, my body is my house...I take care of my house.
Also, eating well doesn't have to be bland or boring...many people have a very myopic view of what constitutes a healthy diet...and when you look at your diet as a whole, you can easily see that "treats" can most definitely be a part of an otherwise nutritious diet.
As exercise goes, find something you enjoy doing...I love to cycle...so I cycle and I get the sadz on days that I can't.
But yeah, if you're just sitting around waiting to be motivated all of the time, it's just not going to happen...at some point you just have to commit and be disciplined...this ultimately leads to consistency and consistency ultimately leads to habit. Regular exercise for me is as much of a habit for me as getting up and brushing my teeth.4 -
I don't know if this will help but let me tell you my story. I am 49 years old and on January 2, 2016 I was 378 Lbs. I was my own worst enemy. In 1997 I had lost 130 Lbs and got to my goal weight with the help of herbal weight loss products. Once I was done losing the weight I was involved in a relationship and I stopped doing the things that had helped me lose the weight. I didn't exercise on a daily basis and I thought I could go back to my old eating patterns. In 1997 I was 115 Lbs and slowly gained it all back and more. I would try dieting again but nothing helped and I would always get to the the "what the heck" stage when I didn't lose as much as I thought I should have or when I ate something I shouldn't have. For years my family tried to get me to lose weight but as evidenced by my increasing weight I would not do anything to help myself. I didn't realize at the time but I must have been in a depression that even I couldn't get myself out of. I wouldn't go anywhere, I wouldn't see friends and family and I got to the point where I could barely walk to the bathroom without getting winded. I was at the point where I was afraid I was going to get stuck in my tub because I was so fat.
Just to be clear, the only person who was responsible for my weight problem was me. I had an excuse for everything, why I couldn't exercise, why I couldn't diet or the old favorite "I will start my diet on Monday or after the holidays or my favorite "It's too late to lose the weight by summer so whats the point."
I don't know if I can pin point a time where I thought "I need to lose weight". But on January 2, 2016 I decided I was going to try to eat better. That was all. I started working on my diet and about a week later a friend told me about MFP and I've logged faithfully since then. I lost some weight and I started to feel better about myself but I began to think about the journey that I was beginning and freaked myself out because I suddenly thought it will be about 2 or 2 1/2 years before I can eat anything I like again. I started to panic and I felt like I was suddenly out on a ledge and ready to fall. I calmed myself down and made a deal with myself that if I wanted something to eat, I would eat and deal with the consequences later. If I wanted to eat pizza or have a nice steak dinner, I would. It might take a little longer but I would get to my goal. For some reason that helped to get my head on straight and I've lost 141 Lbs in just over 10 1/2 months. I am now at 237, I feel much better and over the summer I got out and did active things like taking a walk at the beach, going to amusement parks and hanging out with my family and friends again. I am so much happier now, I can't express the complete feeling.
I started exercising in about March when the mood struck me. I started with 10 minutes of just stepping in place and I felt so good afterward that I did another 15 minutes. In April, I started going for walks and setting better physical goals for myself. I now exercise for at least an hour and a half a day and walk every Saturday for about an hour or so. A couple of weekends ago, my family and went for a hike for 3 hours, uphills and down. It was hard but I did it and it made me feel so empowered.
Early on in my dieting, I told myself that I was only going to eat foods that tasted good to me. I follow through with that to this day. My dinner portion is very small but good. I eat a lot of fruit as a supplement. I've done this the right way this time, nothing but my own will power and motivation. I must admit, I still have to talk myself off the ledge every once in a while when things seem to be going badly but I'm doing it.
As far the exercise goes, when I first started, I would ask myself if I felt like exercising. Truthfully, the answer was never yes and so I stopped asking and my new outlook was born. I don't ask if I feel like it, I just do it not excuses. When I eat something that I probably shouldn't have, I just deal with it the next day. Funny thing is that I've never had to eat a pizza or go out for a nice steak dinner. I just know the option is open if I ever need it.
I still have 122 Lbs to go but I know I'll make it because I just do it - no excuses. I have found in this year that I am so much stronger than I ever thought I could be.
I have a feeling you might be stronger than you think because you keep trying and have everything. I believe that you can do this. The question is do you believe that you can do this? I'm more than willing to help in any way I can!9 -
You have to be ready. If you aren't then you won't do what you need to do. It sounds like you aren't ready yet.
As for accountability, the only one you are accountable to is yourself. You can't push the responsibility for your successes or failures off onto someone else. Others can help but, ultimately, it's all on you.
Once you are ready, make things as easy as possible. Log what you normally eat for a couple of weeks and look back through to see where you might eat smaller portions or make satisfying substitutions with less calorie-dense foods that you also like. The closer you stay to your normal way of eating, the easier it is to stick to a calorie deficit and the easier it is to transition into maintenance since you already have an eating plan.
Set your weight loss goal for something like one pound per week - weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint. Slow and steady wins the race. Losing slowly give you practice for maintenance.
Exercise is great but not required for weight loss. Don't let it be another excuse. Do something you like or don't do anything - you can lose weight either way.
I think of calories like money - I have an overall budget that I spend mostly on necessities (nutritious foods) but with treats as well. No food is off limits but I might eat less of it or eat it less often because it's "expensive" calorie-wise.4 -
OP, you have to find your own personal "why", and it needs to be something more important than the 2,270 calories in a 1lb bag of M&Ms.2
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Oops didn't complete first message before posting.
OP, I know how you feel because I had the same attitudes and behavior for years. I was in major denial about how much control I actually had over what and how much I eat.
It doesn't have to be all or nothing! Make 1-2 small changes in how you eat, or how much you move. Heck, when I first started I only exercised for 5-10 mins a day, 3 days per week. But I committed to those changes and made them happen. After a month, I would add another small change or two. It added up to 35 lbs lost the first year, and 55 lbs lost the 2nd year. I have been maintaining the loss for over a year.
It doesn't mean you can't have treats like m&ms again! It does mean you have to be very honest with yourself about how many calories you are CHOOSING to consume and make sure that fits with your goals.
It's not easy. I still struggle with making good choices sometimes. A quote I find helpful during those tough times:
"Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard".
Good luck! If you set your mind to it, you can do it!1 -
Hi, I'm Katie and you just described me. I know exactly where you're coming from. I have no advice like the other posters above but I can tell you - you are not alone x3
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cwolfman13 wrote: »Motivation is an overrated emotion and will always and forever come and go. We all do things every single day for which we aren't motivated to do. I'm pretty much never motivated to clean the bathroom or do the dishes or vacuum the house...but I do them because otherwise my house would be an unlivable cesspool. Well, my body is my house...I take care of my house.
Also, eating well doesn't have to be bland or boring...many people have a very myopic view of what constitutes a healthy diet...and when you look at your diet as a whole, you can easily see that "treats" can most definitely be a part of an otherwise nutritious diet.
As exercise goes, find something you enjoy doing...I love to cycle...so I cycle and I get the sadz on days that I can't.
But yeah, if you're just sitting around waiting to be motivated all of the time, it's just not going to happen...at some point you just have to commit and be disciplined...this ultimately leads to consistency and consistency ultimately leads to habit. Regular exercise for me is as much of a habit for me as getting up and brushing my teeth.
Awesome and agreed! It's an act of your will and not based upon how you feel.2 -
There are many days i don't "feel motivated" but I do it because it is part of my plan and I decided that's what I would do. I've lost 148 lbs that way.2
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There is some good advice in the above long posts. Mine is short. You don't need motivation. You need discipline and determination.
You said you don't keep a diary of the bad days. Well just do. If you can't make yourself eat less at this stage, well you can at least make yourself write it down (log it in). This you can surely do.
You are an adult and you can make decisions for yourself and you certainly can be disciplined enough to bother to write what you eat.
If you can't do at least that then you obviously don't want to make changes. And we can't really help with that. Seeking motivation from out side is like giving up responsibility for your actions.
Well it came out longer than expected.
4 -
Don't look at the scale for a while. Buy a fitness band that tracks your steps and just try walking 10,000 steps a day - or less if you don't normally walk much. Then try this method of eating - eat small portions 200 calories every 2-3 hours and never let yourself get very hungry. I was like you - not motivated and when I feel bad, I eat everything in sight.0
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You are the only person that can push you to succeed. You have to be your own motivation. You have to want it. You have to be dedicated to it. You have to work for it.
It's not easy and it's not free, but nothing in life is. You have to love yourself more than food. Love yourself more than excuses.
When you do, it'll be hard, but everyday you'll do it because you're doing it for you.2 -
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How bad do you want it? That answer will determine your success. I hope you don't wait for a medical emergency to get healthy, sadly that is what it takes for some.
It's all about choices. Choose to put your health first. You can still have some candy, just not a pound of it. Never buy that much. Stick with only one serving size if you absolutely need some.1
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