I have less self control while maintaining then I did while losing

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  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    Vailara wrote: »
    I think maintaining can be even more difficult that losing! I think the difficulty with calorie counting to maintain is that it has to be precise. Obviously if you have a figure for a 500 deficit while losing, for instance, then it doesn't matter too much if you go over by 100 calories every other day. You'll just lose slightly slower. But if you do that when maintaining, then you'll slowly gain.

    I haven't got to my goal yet but I've taken a few "maintenance breaks" along the way this year, and this is exactly what happened to me the first time I did that. I found it very stressful to eat at maintenance levels and not go over, because I was so paranoid about gaining some of the weight back, and it was a relief to get back to restricting! I was aware of the problem the next time and was able to be a bit more relaxed about it (and developed a slightly different problem instead - it's definitely a constant learning experience!).

    OP, I like some of the advice here to try setting your calorie a bit lower than maintenance, and perhaps that will help you to not stress about going over. It also gives you some 'banked' calories to absorb the effects of a higher day if you want a bigger meal or whatever. :)

    From a lot of what I've read here in the forums, it takes some time to really get to grips with your maintenance anyway so try not to worry about it too much, and just take time to play around with things and find what works for you. Congrats on getting to this stage!
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    Small portions. It's the only thing that helps me. And chewing slow. And drinking lots of beverage. All of it keeps me from shoving more food in my mouth.
  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,658 Member
    Vailara wrote: »
    Jimed4 wrote: »
    I believe that a body can be defective in small ways, such as needing glasses or hearing aids. You and I have a particular defect that tells us to eat too much. Add to that a world in which food is not scarce and we will tend to gain weight. If we were living during times of scarcity, this tendency might help us survive. Therefore, simply accept that it may always feel like someone is whispering in your ear telling you to overeat. A person who is naturally slim and athletic cannot teach you anything about this problem because they don't hear the voice. You simply need to devise a system to ignore the bad advice this voice is giving you and get the right amount of food and exercise.

    Utter rubbish.

    I don't think this is rubbish at all, and I'm sorry to see a new member attacked like this when they're trying to help. I think it's a good analogy, in fact - I didn't have the impulse to eat too much when I was young, slim and athletic, but I do now. And I do think that part of maintenance has recognising that - it doesn't go away, just because you've reached goal weight. You have to deal with it constantly. I have talked to other "maintainers" who have the same issue, and have to always be vigilant. That might be the case for everybody, but I think it's worth being aware that it happens to some.

    It wasn't an analogy though, it was a statement about human mentality. The point being made was that some people have an impulse developed through evolution to eat to excess to help us survive in times of scarcity. If that was the case, the whole population would experience the same impulse, unless you believe that some people are more evolved than others.
  • Grey_1
    Grey_1 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Maintenance is harder for me as well. So far I'm only 3lbs over my goal weight, so my new goal is to simply train myself to stay within my target. No one is twisting my arm and forcing me to eat what I should not. It's difficult sometimes, but it's starting to become habitual and is getting easier.

    Hang in there OP, find healthy replacements. You can do this.
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
    I understand. Last week was a rough week for me. I overate every day and only worked out twice. I told myself that Monday I would start all over again, and that 1 week wouldn't make a difference overall. I did restart everything on Monday, and yesterday was better, I was under my calorie goals which also isn't good, but it's better than being over I guess. I'm trying to take it each day at a time.

    I just didn't realize that maintaining would be more challenging mentally than eating at a deficit.
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    The last few weeks have been brutal for me. I've lost 66 pounds but have 31 more to go. It dawned on me last night that I have been skipping my veggies. In the beginning I was getting alot more bulk. Take a look at your food log and see if you have slipped back to eating lots of carb. You may be different than me but that is a sure trigger that makes me crave things I shouldn't eat. I know I'm not in maintenance so can't really relate with personal experience yet but your post made me think about this issue again and I thought I would share. Congratulations on the great loss by the way!
  • summers90
    summers90 Posts: 4 Member
    I'm in the same boat !!! just completed my first bikini competition.... I just binge ate like there was no tomorrow because I went a little bit over.
    all throughout my prep I never cheated.... worst feeling ever...
  • sylviak555
    sylviak555 Posts: 16 Member
    Hmm, yes am also having trouble maintaining. It seems to be a common symptom eating a little bit over which balloons into eating a LOT more over and then having to backtrack. You have done an amazing job so far. Don't give up or give in! There are going to be hiccups along the way.
  • Gamliela
    Gamliela Posts: 2,468 Member
    After reading this thread seems like most of you are not satisfied with eating at maintenance calories.

    So, if you are still hungry at maintenance calories, how long do you think you will be able to keep your calories at maintenance level at the goal weight you have chosen?
  • Michael190lbs
    Michael190lbs Posts: 1,510 Member
    Gamliela wrote: »
    After reading this thread seems like most of you are not satisfied with eating at maintenance calories.

    So, if you are still hungry at maintenance calories, how long do you think you will be able to keep your calories at maintenance level at the goal weight you have chosen?

    I find it hard to get to maintenance calories but I am very active maintained current weight for about a year
  • hotel4dogs
    hotel4dogs Posts: 72 Member
    I read somewhere, probably on MFP, that you have two choices. You can either be hungry, or you can be fat. I have to remind myself of that all the time, because I am always hungry. My maintenance level is only about 1400 calories, and despite eating large amounts of veggies and lean protein I can't add much fat or I will go over, so I am always hungry. Always.
  • silverfiend
    silverfiend Posts: 329 Member
    Gamliela wrote: »
    After reading this thread seems like most of you are not satisfied with eating at maintenance calories.

    So, if you are still hungry at maintenance calories, how long do you think you will be able to keep your calories at maintenance level at the goal weight you have chosen?

    You've missed the point of the entire thread. It's not about "maintaining calories", it's about hunger cues. Where it was easier to eat 1400 calories a day for month after month, upping the calories to 1800 is triggering the body to want (even demand) even more. It happens to a LOT of us and its frustrating and confusing.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Gamliela wrote: »
    After reading this thread seems like most of you are not satisfied with eating at maintenance calories.

    So, if you are still hungry at maintenance calories, how long do you think you will be able to keep your calories at maintenance level at the goal weight you have chosen?

    I'm fine with my maintenance calories...depending on what I have going on, they can be anywhere from 2800 - 3500 per day...I'm pretty active. When I'm at the higher end (training for century rides and whatnot) I have a hard time hitting them consistently and I usually end up losing some weight even though I'm not really wanting to.

    I'll be four years maintenance this Spring.

    Your maintenance calories aren't exactly some number...maintenance calories are a range.
  • dbashby
    dbashby Posts: 44 Member
    Studies from people who lost weight and kept it off 5 years or more show that eternal vigilance is the common factor in their success . Not exactly what one want to hear I know. That said I do this on a weekly basis not a daily one as that becomes too obsessive but I do weight myself daily so I know where I am from my ideal weight. If I get +5 lbs over, I know that it has to be addressed.

    My only suggestion to you is that even though you had 500 calories to burn you should not have chosen the burger because you also had the desire to be satisfied and the burger alone wasn't going to do that. I run into this choice all the time and what tends to help that the most is to fill almost all the way up with a low caloric density food (probably a salad) and then perhaps then go for the burger. Otherwise the burger alone, while much more tasty and satisfying to the palate was not going to be satisfying enough for the hunger/appetite. This is the same basic principle you followed to lose the weight in the first place.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    edited November 2016
    dbashby wrote: »
    Studies from people who lost weight and kept it off 5 years or more show that eternal vigilance is the common factor in their success . Not exactly what one want to hear I know. That said I do this on a weekly basis not a daily one as that becomes too obsessive but I do weight myself daily so I know where I am from my ideal weight. If I get +5 lbs over, I know that it has to be addressed.

    My only suggestion to you is that even though you had 500 calories to burn you should not have chosen the burger because you also had the desire to be satisfied and the burger alone wasn't going to do that. I run into this choice all the time and what tends to help that the most is to fill almost all the way up with a low caloric density food (probably a salad) and then perhaps then go for the burger. Otherwise the burger alone, while much more tasty and satisfying to the palate was not going to be satisfying enough for the hunger/appetite. This is the same basic principle you followed to lose the weight in the first place.

    Are you referring to the OP?

    OP didn't have a burger. OP had a chicken sandwich and might well have been satisfied with that, but gave into pressure and was up-sold on french fries. OP didn't say anything about satisfied in regards to actual hunger. He's mentioning not being satisfied as far as having to limit himself in how much and perhaps what he eats.

    A mental dissatisfaction as opposed to a physical one.
  • kwantlen2051
    kwantlen2051 Posts: 455 Member
    I have been having the same issues lately. I have been maintaining for the last 2 years and was doing pretty well but with the stress of the house move, I saw myself sliding and now we're settled in our new place. But I cant seem to get back into the routine. Help!
  • srecupid
    srecupid Posts: 660 Member
    hotel4dogs wrote: »
    I read somewhere, probably on MFP, that you have two choices. You can either be hungry, or you can be fat. I have to remind myself of that all the time, because I am always hungry. My maintenance level is only about 1400 calories, and despite eating large amounts of veggies and lean protein I can't add much fat or I will go over, so I am always hungry. Always.

    It's not even a hunger issue. It's just some days I want to eat despite being not hungry and other days I'm content just chilling. Maybe I just need to stay busy.
  • ALG775
    ALG775 Posts: 247 Member
    I am also struggling with maintaining. Technically I have 5 pounds to go before maintenance, but lately I have been having a very hard time not eating a lot at night. I have lost 50 pounds over a year...feeling discouraged at the moment. ..keeping thinking about the statistics on the percentage of people who re-gain weight...

    For me it's not really about feeling hungry, just being tired of watching everything I eat. The problem is when I don't watch what I eat, I gain.

    I have been able to lose by eating between 1800-2,000 calories per day.... I suspect maintenance is about 2200...

    I also notice that as I have more troubles, I'm less patient with myself and more critical...a bit of a downward spiral...

    Bit of a rambling post...
  • Noreenmarie1234
    Noreenmarie1234 Posts: 7,492 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    srecupid wrote: »
    I went from around 250 pounds last september to about 165 this year. Well anyway the last couple of days have been brutal. I had about 500 calories leftover for the day after work and decided to go for a jalapeno mchicken which was 430. Well anyway the guy upsold me on a medium fries for $1 more which was 340. So yeah I'm over already. And part of me just snaps when I'm already over my goal. I just don't stop and tell myself i'll try again tomorrow I just keep eating and eating and eating. When I was losing weight it was easy because I had some kind of goal to focus on. Now I think I'm kinda rebelling against the "rules" i set for myself by forcing a certain amount of calories on myself. Anyone go through this and have any advice? The good knews is I know I'm doing it. The bad news is I have no *kitten* clue how to stop it.

    Well, the good news is that your maintenance calories isn't exactly XXXX calories...your maintenance calories are a range and the human body is very adept at using excess energy in the short run...the human body strives for homeostasis so in the short run it will simply speed up or slow down processes to compensate for more or less energy...you have to consistently underfeed or overfeed to override your body's ability to maintain homeostasis.

    Yes this. I maintain in a range 2100-2600. I've found I can maintain on 2100 or 2600 (so I go with a range). I can go a whole week on the higher end without gaining, but have more energy naturally, haver higher body temp, etc. I can stay at 2100 but I do notice that I naturally feel a bit "lazier". I've monitored myself and seen I've not wanted to "take the extra half mile walk to X" etc. The body fights to stay in homeostasis by naturally trying to use up excess energy. The longer you maintain a certain weight range, the more "set" the body gets in that range and you will find you can easily eat excess a day or two and not gain anything.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    srecupid wrote: »
    I went from around 250 pounds last september to about 165 this year. Well anyway the last couple of days have been brutal. I had about 500 calories leftover for the day after work and decided to go for a jalapeno mchicken which was 430. Well anyway the guy upsold me on a medium fries for $1 more which was 340. So yeah I'm over already. And part of me just snaps when I'm already over my goal. I just don't stop and tell myself i'll try again tomorrow I just keep eating and eating and eating. When I was losing weight it was easy because I had some kind of goal to focus on. Now I think I'm kinda rebelling against the "rules" i set for myself by forcing a certain amount of calories on myself. Anyone go through this and have any advice? The good knews is I know I'm doing it. The bad news is I have no *kitten* clue how to stop it.

    Well, the good news is that your maintenance calories isn't exactly XXXX calories...your maintenance calories are a range and the human body is very adept at using excess energy in the short run...the human body strives for homeostasis so in the short run it will simply speed up or slow down processes to compensate for more or less energy...you have to consistently underfeed or overfeed to override your body's ability to maintain homeostasis.

    Yes this. I maintain in a range 2100-2600. I've found I can maintain on 2100 or 2600 (so I go with a range). I can go a whole week on the higher end without gaining, but have more energy naturally, haver higher body temp, etc. I can stay at 2100 but I do notice that I naturally feel a bit "lazier". I've monitored myself and seen I've not wanted to "take the extra half mile walk to X" etc. The body fights to stay in homeostasis by naturally trying to use up excess energy. The longer you maintain a certain weight range, the more "set" the body gets in that range and you will find you can easily eat excess a day or two and not gain anything.

    I'm starting to wonder about that too. I've been eating too much in the last month (being more social and I did get two periods in 3 weeks... which really doesn't help) but my clothes still fit the same (disclaimer - I haven't dared getting on the scale). I still want to cut again but man, it's tough when you hang out with your friends on Sundays and they always have those tasty treats!

    I miss the times when I could just eat whatever I wanted within my calories without regretting it later though. Now it seems that if I have any type of sugar before 2pm my day is screwed and I end up craving carbs and hungry the rest of the day. Pancakes for breakfast? Forget it. Hungry all day. Sigh. I think that's really one of the issues with maintenance, and why self control and willpower is harder - I'm just hungrier and craving more stuff. Possibly because I exercise way more, but I seem to be past the point where it just makes me too hungry for the calories I gain from it... and unsure how to scale back without gaining weight.
  • ilex70
    ilex70 Posts: 727 Member
    edited November 2016
    srecupid wrote: »
    Part of me just snaps when I'm already over my goal. I just don't stop and tell myself i'll try again tomorrow I just keep eating and eating and eating. When I was losing weight it was easy because I had some kind of goal to focus on.

    Same struggle here. Depending on the "starting weight" you want to go by I am down 60 (start this time) - 130 pounds (highest weight ever). Have still been trying to lose that last 10, but the scale hasn't been trending downward so close to maintenance.

    I find it really hard to keep focus without some kind of concrete goal. I mean, I have one, but the near complete lack of progress has made me discouraged.

    So then, yeah, when I see that number go red I tend to say, well, screw it...today is toast, might as well eat whatever. And I didn't do that before, so WTH?

    Trying not to give in to self-pity, but not being able to do this is so maddening.

    I think we just get tired. Still you know you can't quit, because quitting is a road right back to a place you don't want to go.

    Personally have a creeping case of the "not fairs". As in it's not fair that this is so hard, that eating X amount and exercising X amount is just standing still for me when it "should" work. I "should" be able to eat more/work less and still lose.

    And then, if it isn't working, why keep trying?

    Don't know if this was in any way helpful other than to say you are not alone.
  • srecupid
    srecupid Posts: 660 Member
    Well until I figure out the control thing I'm trying to weigh myself every morning and recording it. That way it's impossible to be ignorant of the trend
  • HappyGrape
    HappyGrape Posts: 436 Member
    The reality is that you may need to figure things out consistently. Life changes and you may need to stay tuned in to how the current environment and lifestyle fits in with your goals and you may need to keep changing things to find what works for you now as it maybe different to what worked few months ago

    I find myself having to figure out winter vs summer right now. In the summer I went to the gym on my lunch break and did walks before after work. Now it's dark before and after work and I find I crave day light and my only option is to get outdoors during lunch and figure out time to do strength training before or after work.

    In the past I went through a how much can I get away with stage. For example I go on vacation, I am very active and eat a lot more and end up gaining only pound and half. It's not that bad I would think, lets don't go back to counting - I am ok with that pound and half. Another pound creeps back in and I still don't do anything and another... you get the picture. From it's not that bad to oh no, I have to go on diet again!

    This time there is element of acceptance that my normal is different than other people's normal. That 70% of adults in many countries are overweight or obese and if I want to do what most people do I have to accept I will weight as what most do to. That as I manage my money, adding my numbers for 10 minutes a day consistently is a way to keep me where I want to be. I find this easy and I couldn't care less if some people are against it - many long term maintainers count, or count occasionally as needed.

    There is also a buzz when loosing weight. You see the scale moving, you feel great, you get compliments. Once you reach the goal the buzz is gone. I feel I need to get my feel good finding unrelated challenges - as looking to volunteer, learning photography.

    It's my 3rd time hitting maintenance and I won't lie to you, I am also nervous about it. I took a really good look at what went wrong last 2 times, and I am ready for it. My mindset is so different this time.

    You are doing the right things - speaking up and remaining vigilant! You got this, it will get easier.



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