MEN.................female confidence VS dominance
Still_Sossy
Posts: 868 Member
Hello all! I do not want this thread locked cause it get all S&M, (so behave) not where I am going with this but I need a little clarification on this from a male point of view, so help a girl out.
I have a lot of male friends in my community, some nephews, some local firemen who I have coffee with almost daily (their ages range from 24 to 56), men I professionally work with (I am the only woman), ect. One time or another this subject has come up. Basically they all say they are attracted to personally confident women who carry them selves with said confidence and who are also sexually confident.
That said, isn't there a bit of dominance with confidence?
A woman who lacks confidence who I seem to see as a bit of a submissive woman does not walk into a board or conference room make eye contact and control a conversation. She also does not walk down the street with a strong sense of self. But a confident one does, hence why I think there is some dominance involved in confidence.
Please break down my apparent mixing of the 2. Things that make you go hmmmmmm. Righ there.
I have a lot of male friends in my community, some nephews, some local firemen who I have coffee with almost daily (their ages range from 24 to 56), men I professionally work with (I am the only woman), ect. One time or another this subject has come up. Basically they all say they are attracted to personally confident women who carry them selves with said confidence and who are also sexually confident.
That said, isn't there a bit of dominance with confidence?
A woman who lacks confidence who I seem to see as a bit of a submissive woman does not walk into a board or conference room make eye contact and control a conversation. She also does not walk down the street with a strong sense of self. But a confident one does, hence why I think there is some dominance involved in confidence.
Please break down my apparent mixing of the 2. Things that make you go hmmmmmm. Righ there.
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Replies
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Yes you are right and that is what they like a woman to know and take what she wants in the bedroom.0
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No a woman can be confident and still be submissive. Confidence comes from knowing what you can do and being happy with yourself. Submission has all to do with the roles you play. So a woman can be a "submissive'" wife and still be confident. Better yet a person is submissive when they go to their job and do what their job description is, but can still be confident in that they're good at it. So yes you can be both. be confident in yourself and what you've accomplished but submissive in the order of things, if that makes sense0
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So... I see confidence and dominance as two VERY distinct things.
A confident woman knows what she believes & wants - but could very well be open to discussion/conversation/debate.
Confidence is sexy.
Dominance, however, seems to be in the same category as 'bossy' or 'rude' in that a dominant person takes what they want and bulldozes others opinions/overtures.
That's the distinction my male friends have made anyway.0 -
In my opinion... a strong confident women who is comfortable in her skin is the most sexy and attractive thing ever. It shows up in her eyes, her smile and even her walk. With confidence there come some dominance but more than that knowing what she wants and goes after it. This can translate to work, school, staying fit or in the bedroom. Thats my two cents
-Bradley1 -
I have all the confidence in the world, but I love to be dominated...most of the time if someone is confident and in charge in their real life, they want to be dominated in bed, it's like a release of pressure...I don't want to be in charge ALL the time0
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I agree w sklar, a confident women can be dominating but may choose to not be. they know what they are and are not. i have found most just dominate people lack confidence and just make up for it by being loud harsh and rude "I'm bigger than i appear type of people".0
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Oooooo you are good girl. THIS is what I was looking for basically, it makes sense.0
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Oooooo you are good girl. THIS is what I was looking for basically, it makes sense.
Thanks <330 -
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Hey there, girl! Confidence is about direct eye contact, how you carry yourself, body language not so much in how dominant you are...Be assertive in what you want, but don't cross the line into bossiness or rudeness (definitely a turn off)...quiet assertion from a confident woman gets me going in the direction she wants me a hell of a lot more than demands and rudeness...I tend to dig in my heels and tell her to "pound salt" when that happens.
Hope that helps you, darlin'...0 -
hmmmm well for me, I become dominant due to not having control elsewhere in my life. I have a boss who doesn't always treat his staff with respect and we can do nothing about this. I deal with it by having a dominant streak in other areas of my life
If we were to meet in person, I would seem to be extremely shy, introverted.......however my 'quiet' comes from being confident in myself, knowing who I am and not needing to talk purely for the sound of it. I would prefer to listen to your story rather than tell mine. 0 -
Very interesting......I feel I am confinent in my job and my role as a mother but I love to feel someon dominate me in other ways if you know what I mean,, I will admit I am a very take control kind of girl in work, home, parenting what have you but when it comes to intimate times its nice to let someone else take over once in a while ! it a matter of give and take !!!!!!!!0
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a Confident woman is sexy........... and i would dare to say that a level of confidence would allow a certain amount of choice when it comes to being dominant or not.
A lot of girls and guys who are in high level jobs sometimes like to let others take control for a while.0 -
Hey there, girl! Confidence is about direct eye contact, how you carry yourself, body language not so much in how dominant you are...Be assertive in what you want, but don't cross the line into bossiness or rudeness (definitely a turn off)...quiet assertion from a confident woman gets me going in the direction she wants me a hell of a lot more than demands and rudeness...I tend to dig in my heels and tell her to "pound salt" when that happens.
Hope that helps you, darlin'...
No I get that and rudeness is just poor class and tacky in any atmosphere, and often comes with lack of skill and insecurity. What I was trying to get at and dosers answered it. I believe there is a little dominance involved with confidence, a delicate balance so to speak? But I was curious as to the male perspective on it.0 -
Women love confidence in men!!! its a magnet!............................I personally appreciate a confident woman! I find it attractive. IS she confident enough to be submissive in bed at times!? AND at times Take control......................??????
I myself am confident! Vut im confident enough taht I like to get handled at times........it so sexy! hahahahaha0 -
Did I make sense???? hahahahaha:huh:0
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A confident and strong lady is very sexy,love it when she is happy to make eye contact and let me know what she wants.
At the same time that confidence will allow her to also be "submissive" at times if that is pleasing to both in the relationship.0 -
To me a woman who is confident is a person who knows what she wants, knows what she can do and makes a plan to go after it. Female dominance is when a woman is almost to the point of arrogance or cocky, knows what she can do, overrates herself, knows what she wants and goes after it no matter what is in the way. Most men are intimadated by a dominant woman, it comes from watch her and knowing if you get in the way you are toast. To watch other males that are suppose to be the Alpha males compete against her or try to us her as a conquest and are totally demolished afterwards also effect decisions when dealing with her. Hopefully it has helped.0
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I believe there is a little dominance involved with confidence, a delicate balance so to speak? But I was curious as to the male perspective on it.
Theoretically, I think the answer is no. Confidence is like a zen state where you are perfectly balanced. Neither dominant or submissive, almost like a pool which is completely still and unassuming. Adding dominance is akin to throwing a pebble into the pool and watching the ripples ebb out - it seeks to be looked at and to be paid attention to.
In the real world though I think there will always be a BIT of dominance mixed in with confidence. Confident people tend to get their own way and take charge and so "dominate" not because they mean to but that's just how things play out. The problem with that is that it can quickly turn to arrogance and bullying if not kept in check.0 -
To me a woman who is confident is a person who knows what she wants, knows what she can do and makes a plan to go after it. Female dominance is when a woman is almost to the point of arrogance or cocky, knows what she can do, overrates herself, knows what she wants and goes after it no matter what is in the way. Most men are intimadated by a dominant woman, it comes from watch her and knowing if you get in the way you are toast. To watch other males that are suppose to be the Alpha males compete against her or try to us her as a conquest and are totally demolished afterwards also effect decisions when dealing with her. Hopefully it has helped.
Yep..... totally getting the answers I was looking for.0 -
So... I see confidence and dominance as two VERY distinct things.
A confident woman knows what she believes & wants - but could very well be open to discussion/conversation/debate.
Confidence is sexy.
Dominance, however, seems to be in the same category as 'bossy' or 'rude' in that a dominant person takes what they want and bulldozes others opinions/overtures.
That's the distinction my male friends have made anyway.
What this person said except I'd take it even a step further and say that the bossy or rude "dominant" person probably does so actually out of a LACK of confidence (insecurity) or a need to prove themselves.0 -
Confidence = knowing who you are, what you're about and being okay with that.
Dominant = being able to control some(one/thing) ... This could be loudly, like controlling a conversation; quietly, like a mom gently redirecting her kids instead of yelling at them to stop; or manipulatively, like those times you stop and think, "I didn't want to watch all these kids, why the heck did i say yes? Oh, wait, the parent made me feel like I HAD to."
Submissive = being controlled by some(one/thing) ... Obviously, this is the opposite of being a dominant. A submissive can be the type to roll over and take it, like an often walked over doormat, or they can be passive aggressive about it. (the definition of passive aggressive is to Habitually be ineffective) Passive aggressive people tend to snap.
All this being said: a confident person can being either dominant or submissive. For example, I am a confident, dominant person. Because I am so confident in myself and place in life, I can choose to submit to someone else as much as I want to. So I can ease back and let someone else dominate the conversation, or I can fully submit to what is desired of me.
Does this help?0 -
A confident woman doesn't have to dominate her man. A woman who submits to her husband isn't subservient, she simply trusts him to make difficult decisions with the full knowledge that he puts her and the family before himself.0
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Id hit that!!!! hahahahaha :bigsmile:0
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Perfectly said. I agree 100 percent. Nothing wrong with being submissive to your man in and out of bed. It's the trust in him that shows you have the confidence to not take control of the relationship all of the time.A confident woman doesn't have to dominate her man. A woman who submits to her husband isn't subservient, she simply trusts him to make difficult decisions with the full knowledge that he puts her and the family before himself.0 -
I like a woman with a backbone but I dont want to be kissing her tailbone.0
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I like a woman with a backbone but I dont want to be kissing her tailbone.
LOL :laugh:0 -
I think most are hitting it about right.
Confidence is self-assurance; knowing who you are and being content with it, regardless of the opinions and thoughts of others. A confident woman maintains eye-contact, holds her head up straight, and is not afraid to speak when her voice is necessary or invited. But has no fear about remaining silent is that is the most appropriate action to take.
A Dominate woman may or may not be self-assured, but often is not self-assured. Typically Dominate women are all about everyone else knowing who she is and that they need to be content with who she is. She is always willing to speak out because she often fears others will not solicit her opinion, so she often pushes her opinion in when it is not asked for or is not necessary.
just my 2-cents0 -
I like a woman with a backbone but I dont want to be kissing her tailbone.
Don't knock kissing a woman's tailbone until you've tried it...0
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