MEN.................female confidence VS dominance

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Still_Sossy
Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hello all! I do not want this thread locked cause it get all S&M, (so behave) not where I am going with this but I need a little clarification on this from a male point of view, so help a girl out.
I have a lot of male friends in my community, some nephews, some local firemen who I have coffee with almost daily (their ages range from 24 to 56), men I professionally work with (I am the only woman), ect. One time or another this subject has come up. Basically they all say they are attracted to personally confident women who carry them selves with said confidence and who are also sexually confident.

That said, isn't there a bit of dominance with confidence?
A woman who lacks confidence who I seem to see as a bit of a submissive woman does not walk into a board or conference room make eye contact and control a conversation. She also does not walk down the street with a strong sense of self. But a confident one does, hence why I think there is some dominance involved in confidence.

Please break down my apparent mixing of the 2. Things that make you go hmmmmmm. Righ there.
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Replies

  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
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    Yes you are right and that is what they like a woman to know and take what she wants in the bedroom.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
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    No a woman can be confident and still be submissive. Confidence comes from knowing what you can do and being happy with yourself. Submission has all to do with the roles you play. So a woman can be a "submissive'" wife and still be confident. Better yet a person is submissive when they go to their job and do what their job description is, but can still be confident in that they're good at it. So yes you can be both. be confident in yourself and what you've accomplished but submissive in the order of things, if that makes sense
  • skylar1907
    skylar1907 Posts: 156
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    So... I see confidence and dominance as two VERY distinct things.

    A confident woman knows what she believes & wants - but could very well be open to discussion/conversation/debate.
    Confidence is sexy.

    Dominance, however, seems to be in the same category as 'bossy' or 'rude' in that a dominant person takes what they want and bulldozes others opinions/overtures.

    That's the distinction my male friends have made anyway.
  • Hicksbc
    Hicksbc Posts: 32 Member
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    In my opinion... a strong confident women who is comfortable in her skin is the most sexy and attractive thing ever. It shows up in her eyes, her smile and even her walk. With confidence there come some dominance but more than that knowing what she wants and goes after it. This can translate to work, school, staying fit or in the bedroom. Thats my two cents
    -Bradley
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I have all the confidence in the world, but I love to be dominated...most of the time if someone is confident and in charge in their real life, they want to be dominated in bed, it's like a release of pressure...I don't want to be in charge ALL the time
  • dosesr4winners20
    dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
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    I agree w sklar, a confident women can be dominating but may choose to not be. they know what they are and are not. i have found most just dominate people lack confidence and just make up for it by being loud harsh and rude "I'm bigger than i appear type of people".
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    Oooooo you are good girl. THIS is what I was looking for basically, it makes sense.
  • dosesr4winners20
    dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
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    Oooooo you are good girl. THIS is what I was looking for basically, it makes sense.

    Thanks <33
  • reepobob
    reepobob Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Hey there, girl! Confidence is about direct eye contact, how you carry yourself, body language not so much in how dominant you are...Be assertive in what you want, but don't cross the line into bossiness or rudeness (definitely a turn off)...quiet assertion from a confident woman gets me going in the direction she wants me a hell of a lot more than demands and rudeness...I tend to dig in my heels and tell her to "pound salt" when that happens.

    Hope that helps you, darlin'...
  • kristiek7
    kristiek7 Posts: 198
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    hmmmm well for me, I become dominant due to not having control elsewhere in my life. I have a boss who doesn't always treat his staff with respect and we can do nothing about this. I deal with it by having a dominant streak in other areas of my life ;) If we were to meet in person, I would seem to be extremely shy, introverted.......however my 'quiet' comes from being confident in myself, knowing who I am and not needing to talk purely for the sound of it. I would prefer to listen to your story rather than tell mine.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    Very interesting......I feel I am confinent in my job and my role as a mother but I love to feel someon dominate me in other ways if you know what I mean,, I will admit I am a very take control kind of girl in work, home, parenting what have you but when it comes to intimate times its nice to let someone else take over once in a while ! it a matter of give and take !!!!!!!!
  • LeeKetty1176
    LeeKetty1176 Posts: 881 Member
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    a Confident woman is sexy........... and i would dare to say that a level of confidence would allow a certain amount of choice when it comes to being dominant or not.

    A lot of girls and guys who are in high level jobs sometimes like to let others take control for a while.
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    Hey there, girl! Confidence is about direct eye contact, how you carry yourself, body language not so much in how dominant you are...Be assertive in what you want, but don't cross the line into bossiness or rudeness (definitely a turn off)...quiet assertion from a confident woman gets me going in the direction she wants me a hell of a lot more than demands and rudeness...I tend to dig in my heels and tell her to "pound salt" when that happens.

    Hope that helps you, darlin'...


    No I get that and rudeness is just poor class and tacky in any atmosphere, and often comes with lack of skill and insecurity. What I was trying to get at and dosers answered it. I believe there is a little dominance involved with confidence, a delicate balance so to speak? But I was curious as to the male perspective on it.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    Women love confidence in men!!! its a magnet!............................I personally appreciate a confident woman! I find it attractive. IS she confident enough to be submissive in bed at times!? AND at times Take control......................??????
    I myself am confident! Vut im confident enough taht I like to get handled at times........it so sexy! hahahahaha
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    Did I make sense???? hahahahaha:huh:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    A confident and strong lady is very sexy,love it when she is happy to make eye contact and let me know what she wants.
    At the same time that confidence will allow her to also be "submissive" at times if that is pleasing to both in the relationship.
  • dgrayman
    dgrayman Posts: 15 Member
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    To me a woman who is confident is a person who knows what she wants, knows what she can do and makes a plan to go after it. Female dominance is when a woman is almost to the point of arrogance or cocky, knows what she can do, overrates herself, knows what she wants and goes after it no matter what is in the way. Most men are intimadated by a dominant woman, it comes from watch her and knowing if you get in the way you are toast. To watch other males that are suppose to be the Alpha males compete against her or try to us her as a conquest and are totally demolished afterwards also effect decisions when dealing with her. Hopefully it has helped.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    I believe there is a little dominance involved with confidence, a delicate balance so to speak? But I was curious as to the male perspective on it.

    Theoretically, I think the answer is no. Confidence is like a zen state where you are perfectly balanced. Neither dominant or submissive, almost like a pool which is completely still and unassuming. Adding dominance is akin to throwing a pebble into the pool and watching the ripples ebb out - it seeks to be looked at and to be paid attention to.

    In the real world though I think there will always be a BIT of dominance mixed in with confidence. Confident people tend to get their own way and take charge and so "dominate" not because they mean to but that's just how things play out. The problem with that is that it can quickly turn to arrogance and bullying if not kept in check.
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    To me a woman who is confident is a person who knows what she wants, knows what she can do and makes a plan to go after it. Female dominance is when a woman is almost to the point of arrogance or cocky, knows what she can do, overrates herself, knows what she wants and goes after it no matter what is in the way. Most men are intimadated by a dominant woman, it comes from watch her and knowing if you get in the way you are toast. To watch other males that are suppose to be the Alpha males compete against her or try to us her as a conquest and are totally demolished afterwards also effect decisions when dealing with her. Hopefully it has helped.


    Yep..... totally getting the answers I was looking for.

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