Exercise and company
fitmama282
Posts: 36 Member
I have to workout as soon as i get home from work, or i don't get it done. I am wanting to get into a routine of working out as soon as i get home from work in the evenings, but i don't want to be disturbed when doing so. But my problem is sometimes when my half-sister is down at my dad's house who lives next door, walking distance, she sometimes comes to visit me soon after i get home from work. Even after me throwing hints to her that i want to exercise when i get home from work, she will ignore that and still come on up here when i get home from work. But how can i break down and tell her that i really need to workout as soon as i get home from work before the evening wears on & i loose my motivation, and would rather her come visit later when i am done working out. I thought about shutting my front door and locking it till i finish working out, then maybe she will take the hint that i really need that time as soon as i get home from work to workout, and need her to come visit LATER. Am i being rude if i keep on exercising & ignore her knocking at the front door? I am sure she will hear my loud workout music from outside and will know what i am doing if i don't come to the door.
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Replies
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Answer the door and say 'I'm just about to work out, I'll come round in an hour'
or if she's in the house say 'great to see you, I'm going to work out now, you're welcome to stay and join me, or I'll see you later?"4 -
Have you flat out asked instead of just "hinting"?3
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TavistockToad wrote: »Answer the door and say 'I'm just about to work out, I'll come round in an hour'
or if she's in the house say 'great to see you, I'm going to work out now, you're welcome to stay and join me, or I'll see you later?"
Just what I was thinking. Maybe keep a change of workout clothes in her size to throw at her to add pressure to either join you or wait till that is finished before coming over. Just tell her you have her things all ready for that time of the day. Now, drop and give me 20!
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fitmama282 wrote: »Am i being rude if i keep on exercising & ignore her knocking at the front door?
not exaaaaactly . . . i'm an introvert and very much inclined towards 'blunt' over 'nice', so my take may not be typical. but here's what i think.
to me, the 'rude' isn't in you wanting time and space to yourself. it would be in leaving her to knock and knock, instead of just letting her know what the facts are so she can adjust her expectations and go on with her life while you sweat. and it also sounds really stressy to me. i'm the type who would almost always prefer to say something up front and just deal with the fallout from it, over trying to block and hint and be 'nice' about something i know is just is-what-it-is no matter how much 'niceness' you try to wrap it up in.
ime, most of the difficult aspects of life are about people having expectations that don't match up with reality, and then getting disappointed/confused/frustrated/embarrassed/hurt by the difference. i'm a band-aid ripper, myself. if i know what i want and i know that what i want is never going to adjust to the status quo, i'll try to get the bad-news 'confrontation' over with fast. gl with it. it's a tough one.1 -
BusyRaeNOTBusty wrote: »Have you flat out asked instead of just "hinting"?
personally, i would 'tell'. but i'd do it politely, of course
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Tell her outright that you are going to be busy after work every day and she has to come after x time if she wants to visit. Don't answer your door if she comes earlier.
I keep my door locked all the time. I'm not cool with people just walking into my house even if they are family.1 -
You know those signs that people get for the front door for when the baby is napping that say not to ring the bell or knock because it will disturb the baby? Maybe you should make one for when you are exercising.3
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I would tell her that you are not taking visitors until after X time. Then if she comes anyway I would not answer the door.
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I have already tried telling her that if she ever come up and don't get anybody to the door to not take it personally because I will just be exercising, but she still comes up right after I get home. She just doesn't listen too well.
She don't work and hasn't worked in so long she probably forgot what it was like to work full-time and come home and have stuff to do after work.
She's always done this.
It used to be before I started exercising that I would come home from work and jump in and stay cooking dinner, she would come up while I was cooking.0 -
fitmama282 wrote: »I have already tried telling her that if she ever come up and don't get anybody to the door to not take it personally because I will just be exercising, but she still comes up right after I get home. She just doesn't listen too well.
She don't work and hasn't worked in so long she probably forgot what it was like to work full-time and come home and have stuff to do after work.
She's always done this.
It used to be before I started exercising that I would come home from work and jump in and stay cooking dinner, she would come up while I was cooking.
1. Since she's "always" done this, I doubt she'll change now.
2. By stopping your workout to visit with her, your actions are saying it's ok form 9her to come over & interrupt you.0 -
fitmama282 wrote: »I have already tried telling her that if she ever come up and don't get anybody to the door to not take it personally because I will just be exercising, but she still comes up right after I get home. She just doesn't listen too well.
She don't work and hasn't worked in so long she probably forgot what it was like to work full-time and come home and have stuff to do after work.
She's always done this.
It used to be before I started exercising that I would come home from work and jump in and stay cooking dinner, she would come up while I was cooking.
Go do your workout anyway, she'll soon get the hunt1 -
fitmama282 wrote: »I have already tried telling her that if she ever come up and don't get anybody to the door to not take it personally because I will just be exercising, but she still comes up right after I get home. She just doesn't listen too well.
i think i would re-state it slightly just to make sure i've been clear, before going all-levels rage. her feelings are her problem, not yours. so i'd tell her to STOP KNOCKING if she knocks once or twice and nobody comes to the door. saying 'don't take it personally' just tells her how you want her to feel. but it doesn't tell her that you yourself have an issue with this behaviour and you want it to stop.0 -
Do your workout. If she shows up beforehand, tell her that you're going to work out at that time. Then do your workout. If she wants to hang, she'll either have to wait until after you're done or in between sets or whatever.1
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When I was actively training for races and then long distance cycling events, I told people that if they wanted to socialise with me, they had to get on a bicycle and ride with me.
Just go ahead with your workout, and suggest that she join you.0 -
Set some boundaries and do you. She will get the hint.0
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Your sister is self-centered and rude. No not answer your door until you decide to answer your door, i.e. AFTER your workout. Who told you you have to answer your own door? IT'S YOUR DOOR. Time you stopped being your sister's doormat.0
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If you're comfortable working out in front of her, then you could let her in and just continue.0
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