The art of the intelligent insult

G085H173
G085H173 Posts: 516 Member
edited November 13 in Chit-Chat
Is there too much profanity these days? Is the art of the callous put down, to knack of sliding a verbal stiletto blade between the ribs dead? Is the pen (and the spoken word) still more deadly than the sword?? Do we have the mental wherewithal to match Oscar Wilde, Winston Churchill, Groucho Marx, even??

Here's my starter for 10.....

You're as useful as a broken tea cup

Replies

  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    You're about as sharp as a bowling ball.
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    You're as funny as a cry for help.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,328 Member
    Somewhere in an attic, there's a picture of you getting prettier by the day...
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    You smell athletic
  • Archer2017
    Archer2017 Posts: 1,999 Member
    You're about as practical as a soup-sandwich.
  • G085H173
    G085H173 Posts: 516 Member
    Not bad!
    You dance with the grace of a one legged ostrich
  • Archer2017
    Archer2017 Posts: 1,999 Member
    Don't call me sir, I work for a living!

    Sorry, I just heard that a lot at work.
  • G085H173
    G085H173 Posts: 516 Member
    At least with that perfume, you don't smell like a corpse
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    You're as dumb as a brick and

    Your elevator does not go to the top.
  • Grey_1
    Grey_1 Posts: 1,139 Member
    edited November 2016
    You're a can shy of a six pack.

    Sharp as a bag of wet hair

    Not the sharpest tool in the shed

    All the discernment of a blind man in a fog bank...
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
  • Grey_1
    Grey_1 Posts: 1,139 Member
    Well that's as weak as a half brewed cup o joe
  • dwalt15110
    dwalt15110 Posts: 246 Member
    People forget all about what you look like once you open your mouth.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    Keep talking. Some day you'll say something intelligent.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    My family and I have spent endless hours trying to verbally "one up" each other and have had many a pleasant hour insulting each other and generally using sarcasm as a weapon against our nearest and dearest.

    Mind you here in the West Country (UK) it is understood that the more you insult someone the more you like them. The time to worry is when we are being polite. Sadly our West Country culture is being undermined by political correctness and the terminally offended.

    It is so sad that sarcasm and verbal jousting are seen as bullying and offensive and the art of the verbal putdown is losing favour. We should all be bland and unemotional with no passion or individuality.

    I went to a Diversity Training in The Workplace workshop and they basically told us we should not be diverse as we might offend someone.

    I said that at my age if someone offended me one day I probably wouldn't remember it the next anyway. My fellow colleagues kindly laughed.

    But the person holding the class told me that this was just the kind of comment we should avoid making as it might offend other older people.....hang on....what? I make a joke about my own age and memory loss and some other person takes offense. How very dare they!!! I am offended by their being offended. If we cant take the p!ss out of ourselves who the hell can we take the p!ss out of?

    Sorry I am waffling it's my age you know.

    I miss being offensive :'(






  • BoosDimples
    BoosDimples Posts: 2,826 Member
    manderson27 wrote: »
    My family and I have spent endless hours trying to verbally "one up" each other and have had many a pleasant hour insulting each other and generally using sarcasm as a weapon against our nearest and dearest.

    Mind you here in the West Country (UK) it is understood that the more you insult someone the more you like them. The time to worry is when we are being polite. Sadly our West Country culture is being undermined by political correctness and the terminally offended.

    It is so sad that sarcasm and verbal jousting are seen as bullying and offensive and the art of the verbal putdown is losing favour. We should all be bland and unemotional with no passion or individuality.

    I went to a Diversity Training in The Workplace workshop and they basically told us we should not be diverse as we might offend someone.

    I said that at my age if someone offended me one day I probably wouldn't remember it the next anyway. My fellow colleagues kindly laughed.

    But the person holding the class told me that this was just the kind of comment we should avoid making as it might offend other older people.....hang on....what? I make a joke about my own age and memory loss and some other person takes offense. How very dare they!!! I am offended by their being offended. If we cant take the p!ss out of ourselves who the hell can we take the p!ss out of?

    Sorry I am waffling it's my age you know.

    I miss being offensive :'(






    I hear you. In my family and with friends, you need worry when there are no insults and/or sarcasm. <3
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    edited November 2016
    It makes for very lively get togethers :)

  • dc8066
    dc8066 Posts: 1,439 Member
    manderson27 wrote: »
    My family and I have spent endless hours trying to verbally "one up" each other and have had many a pleasant hour insulting each other and generally using sarcasm as a weapon against our nearest and dearest.

    Mind you here in the West Country (UK) it is understood that the more you insult someone the more you like them. The time to worry is when we are being polite. Sadly our West Country culture is being undermined by political correctness and the terminally offended.

    It is so sad that sarcasm and verbal jousting are seen as bullying and offensive and the art of the verbal putdown is losing favour. We should all be bland and unemotional with no passion or individuality.

    I went to a Diversity Training in The Workplace workshop and they basically told us we should not be diverse as we might offend someone.

    I said that at my age if someone offended me one day I probably wouldn't remember it the next anyway. My fellow colleagues kindly laughed.

    But the person holding the class told me that this was just the kind of comment we should avoid making as it might offend other older people.....hang on....what? I make a joke about my own age and memory loss and some other person takes offense. How very dare they!!! I am offended by their being offended. If we cant take the p!ss out of ourselves who the hell can we take the p!ss out of?

    Sorry I am waffling it's my age you know.

    I miss being offensive :'(






    I think that Diversity Training was an insult to your intelligence )
  • Karb_Kween
    Karb_Kween Posts: 2,681 Member
    These are dumb.. the intelligent insult is what reaches for the jugular

    If you hurt somebody's feelings you did well
  • G085H173
    G085H173 Posts: 516 Member
    Karb_Kween wrote: »
    These are dumb.. the intelligent insult is what reaches for the jugular

    If you hurt somebody's feelings you did well

    I agree, but it's all about context; it could be a verbal jab;"you're as much use as a flat battery" or the verbal smash in the teeth;" you couldn't pour sh17 out a shoe even if the instructions were printed on the heel"
This discussion has been closed.

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