Struggling runner looking for buddies and support

Hi everybody!

My name is Liz and I'm a thirty one year old long time on-and-off runner living in the Tampa Bay area of Florida.

In the past I could work upwards through the miles/time without too much difficulty. It was sometimes very hard, but by no means felt impossible. I always ran alone and with little regard for speed/pace. I knew that I was slow, of course, but my focus was on time spent running and distance run, not speed. However, I recently started running again with a friend who is much faster than I've ever been and the disparity has badly shaken my confidence in myself. While it has been good for me to push myself to improve my pace, I feel like I've hit a way at three or four miles at this new speed. And not in a way that feels as though it's too difficult or uncomfortable to push through, but that it's literally impossible - a feeling that I've never had before. Although my friend has been unfailingly patient and kind, never once making me feel rushed, pressured, or as though she feels frustrated by my pace, I can't help but feel upset, embarrassed, and guilty just knowing that I'm holding her back. In frustration and guilt I have since stopped running altogether. Running alone is hard for me and I don't know anyone else in my area who runs, and at a pace closer to my own, so I have, for the moment, given up. Although I want so badly to start again by myself I feel almost afraid to try - I was such a disappointment to myself last time. Maybe I just need to return to my former snail pace and work up to that pace much more slowly than I did when starting with my friend, but now that I'm aware of the huge pace disparity between myself and other runners I find it so difficult just to let it go and to be patient with myself. I feel slow, lazy, and angry with my body for not "keeping up".

I'm hoping to find virtual running buddies, experienced and beginner alike, with whom I can share this "journey" towards some kind of self acceptance, and maybe even someone in my area to run with in person. But I would just love to develop a support group for struggling runners who could use some encouragement, motivation, and reassurance that what we're feeling is normal. Suggestions, support, and advice from seasoned runners would be incredibly welcome! I just want to actually enjoy running again, or at least to lessen the pre-run dread that I feel. I have a fitbit charge 2 and use Runkeeper to track my runs, and I would love to find some buddies on those platforms, too.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my rambling monologue! I will keep my fingers - and toes! - crossed that I can find other users who share my interests and concerns, and that we can support and motivate each other to become stronger, more confident runners.

Keep running!!

Liz