We broke up because...
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I ate all her cupcakes0
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He licked the frosting too seductively0
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She preferred cupcakes..I preferred muffin..it just couldn't work0
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She never ate my muffins.0
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Only cooked the tops to the muffins and not the whole thing0
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Caught him tasting someone elses muffin0
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She didn't like me baking with other people0
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"Baking" was her euphemism for "sex"0
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She used air quotes when she said sex.. " every time"
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She said I was full of Hot air!0
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I thought she was always talking about hot aod balloons..0
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Always made fun of my balloons0
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Her balloons brought all the boys to the yard..0
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Always touching other people's balloons0
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Told me my balloons were saggy
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Refused to get a balloon job
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Her balloons were losing their helium!
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We could never have sharp objects in the house..0
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Was always stealing my sharp objects.0
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She was always running with scissors1
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