Have you experienced rude comments during/after weight loss?

PalmettoparkGuy
PalmettoparkGuy Posts: 212 Member
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
One thing I definitely wasn't prepared for during my healthier lifestyle journey, was the unbelievably rude comments. One person asked me if I'm losing weight because I'm sick with something, another person asked if I "meant" to lose weight. My co-worker told me I've lost way too much and my face is sunken in. I mean, seriously, It's not like I'm skin and bones. I'm 5'10, 179 lbs. My BMI still says I'm still overweight. I certainly don't need people to make me feel good about myself and my accomplishments, but I don't get the negative comments.



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Replies

  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    Jealousy. Flick them off and go on with your day I say :)
  • Edestiny7
    Edestiny7 Posts: 730 Member
    Physicians tended to ask me if my weight loss had been on purpose. Of course they had last seen me the year before, 35 pounds heavier.
  • ibbray04
    ibbray04 Posts: 227 Member
    I get that a lot too. I think the biggest problem is that most people nowadays have a distorted idea of what HEALTHY weight is.

    I say, keep up the great work and don't let those people get to you. If possible, maybe even educate them as to what's "healthy".
  • szczepj
    szczepj Posts: 422
    People are rude and sometimes we just shouldn't listen to them!

    The only rude comment I can say that I kinda got was my roommate was eating pretzel's and tried to feed me one and I told her I didn't want it, I wasn't hungry and I just had a banana and she looks at me and says with her rude attitude "It's just a damn pretzel"
    Yeah, and I LOVE pretzels, I just don't want to. I'm on a mission here and when I don't want to eat something I don't want to!
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Oh yes. So many rude comments I can't even begin to recap all of them...

    From "Are you anorexic?" to "Are you sick? You've lost too much weight to be healthy!"


    I TRY and not let it get to me. But, sometimes it is VERY hard. I never dreamed when I started this journey that people would be rude to me for losing weight. :(
  • CristineD
    CristineD Posts: 59 Member
    I've had friends mock me for calorie counting...it gets quite ridiculous the comments that come out of people's mouths. One thing that hasn't been commented on is my 16 pound loss in 3 months. Wondering if people are embarrassed to say they can see I've lost weight or if no one can see a difference. Not sure what is worse...negative comments or none at all.
  • staciekins
    staciekins Posts: 453 Member
    people are jerks...it's as simple as that...they feel the need to pick apart people for no good reason to make themselves feel better. it's freakin stupid but that's the way most humans are
  • fultzjaf
    fultzjaf Posts: 141 Member
    I am almost exacty the same weight and height as you, and I don't get those type of comments, because I still look heavy :/

    I think it is a good things that you are trying to be healthy, and I would just try and not let the comments bother you. As long as you are being healthy....then keep up the good work and you do what you feel is right to do!

    Good luck!
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    People are rude and sometimes we just shouldn't listen to them!

    The only rude comment I can say that I kinda got was my roommate was eating pretzel's and tried to feed me one and I told her I didn't want it, I wasn't hungry and I just had a banana and she looks at me and says with her rude attitude "It's just a damn pretzel"
    Yeah, and I LOVE pretzels, I just don't want to. I'm on a mission here and when I don't want to eat something I don't want to!

    Oh yes.. I had someone offer me a white chocolate cookies and cream candy bar. I politely declined - because I HATE white chocolate and she said "Give me a break. It's a damn candy bar.. you won't keel over dead because you had 1 candy bar". I tried to explain that I HATE white chocolate but she just kept saying "It won't kill you. It's one candy bar". Ugh
  • astovey
    astovey Posts: 578 Member
    Ive had all of those comments. From teachers, my mother, and others. I remember eating Thanksgiving years ago and my uncle said, how do you loose weight eating like THAT? WTF bro, it's ONE day! ahole, still bitter as you can see.
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    People are rude and sometimes we just shouldn't listen to them!

    The only rude comment I can say that I kinda got was my roommate was eating pretzel's and tried to feed me one and I told her I didn't want it, I wasn't hungry and I just had a banana and she looks at me and says with her rude attitude "It's just a damn pretzel"
    Yeah, and I LOVE pretzels, I just don't want to. I'm on a mission here and when I don't want to eat something I don't want to!

    I've gotten this response too - sometimes from my well-meaning husband or mom.
  • ChantalD75
    ChantalD75 Posts: 680 Member
    jealousy....
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I have had pretty much exclusively positive comments, but I have had a bit of "You are so skinny", which is bollocks, as I am still in the upper half of my healthy weight.
  • MayMaydoesntrun
    MayMaydoesntrun Posts: 805 Member
    It's not happened to me (yet!) but my dad lost 60 pounds 3 years ago and has kept it off. Since he is a senior citizen, he's 73, he got it all the time by his friends. It made him so mad! His response was, "Where was your concern when I was fat?" That usually shut them up.
  • beckyann858
    beckyann858 Posts: 48 Member
    Haters gonna hate.......
  • thefreemans28
    thefreemans28 Posts: 267 Member
    First of all, I think A LOT of it has to do with jealously, like others have said. They see you losing weight and meeting goals and they know they need to and want to do the same, but they aren't ready. So, instead of being happy for you, they cover the jealously with rude comments.

    Second, I think people get used to seeing us as our overweight selves. So, when they see us getting thinner, it automatically looks "weird" or whatever. For example, I've been overweight most of my life. When I started losing weight and had lost about 10 pounds my mom asked when I was going to stop, that I was getting too skinny. I explained that I still had a good 40-50 pounds to go and I thought she was going to die then and there! I seriously think it's just that they get used to seeing us overweight and anything else looks too different.
  • BobbyDaniel
    BobbyDaniel Posts: 1,459 Member
    I've received way more grief than I ever did when I was fat. I've been told, amongst other things: that I "look sickly", "you need to start eating" and "you look like an AIDS patient".
    And you would be surprised where some of the rougher comments come from. But I am happy with what my body looks like for the first time in my life. I still have a lot of work to do, but I am happy and I am healthier than ever!
  • myukniewicz
    myukniewicz Posts: 906 Member
    first off, i want to say i am sorry that you had/have to deal with those negative comments.

    i think its jealousy.... i think a lot people want to loose weight, but they don't have the drive to see it all the way through. and obviously you do! don't let those people get you down, even though i understand that it is easier said than done.

    remember, you are making yourself a better, healthier you and that is all that matters :)
  • montana_girl
    montana_girl Posts: 1,403 Member
    I've been lucky... haven't gotten too many rude comments. But it seems the rudest comments have come from my own mother!

    I'm getting tired of the comment, "your not still trying to lose weight, are you?" or "Your skinny enough." Ummm... no... still not a healthy weight. And YES, I have discussed my weight gaol with my doctor. Gah....
  • jaded_rose
    jaded_rose Posts: 298 Member
    They just don't have the guts to loose weight. I can't say I've had any negative comments made to me. One co-worker says I don't need to lose weight I was fine the way I was. that was 15 pounds ago.

    Now i get asked how I did it, counting calories and exercise. when I tell them they are "I can't do that," an I'm thinking (its not easy but worth it too me).

    Hope some good comments come your way soon. Just remember their jealous and your stronger then them.
  • myukniewicz
    myukniewicz Posts: 906 Member
    Ive had all of those comments. From teachers, my mother, and others. I remember eating Thanksgiving years ago and my uncle said, how do you loose weight eating like THAT? WTF bro, it's ONE day! ahole, still bitter as you can see.

    oh girl- i've had THAT comment before.
    at dinner my dad looked at what i was eating (i dont remember what it was) and he said "Are you ALLOWED to eat that??" umm. excuse me but i am ALLOWED to eat what ever the hell i want. back off. LOL
  • SusanneWhittington
    SusanneWhittington Posts: 339 Member
    I noticed a huge difference in comments depending on where I am. When I lived in Germany I was called fat when my weight was 160 lbs wit 5'8", here in Louisiana I was called skin and bones when I was at 185 lbs...

    I am lucky that I have coworkers who say I am doing good, when I decline a cupcake, because I am going to have my splurge that day at lunch with a friend, they are motivating, my Dad tries to feed me with extra stuff because "there is no fun in life without eating", but makes rude comments about my oversized butt at the same time.

    Just filter, only let the good comments come through and ignore the others with the mental note 'not important enough to be remembered"
  • fridayjustleft04
    fridayjustleft04 Posts: 851 Member
    My friend's grandma asked how much I've lost. I told her, and her reply was "I didn't know you were that big". I don't think she meant it to be rude, but it definitely could have been worded better.
  • llangkilde
    llangkilde Posts: 10 Member
    I get this from a lot of My Clients. "You lost a lot of Weight, is it on Purpose or ?"
    However, Its always followed up with a " Good for you !!"
    I dont believe most People mean it as a Rudeness, but more an Expression of Concern, Which I find Heart Warming..
    People are afraid of Congratulating you, just in case your Sick. A little Like People are afraid of asking Pregnant Woman, when they are Due.. (Just in case they arent Pregnant, but just gained a lot)
    :)

    I dont Mind... I consider it a NSV that People actually Notice the effort you haev put in..
  • alynnbennett
    alynnbennett Posts: 182
    Jealousy is all that is!!!! Just tell them your happy with yourself and it doesn't matter what they think!!!
    They just wish they look the way you look!!! Hold your head high!!!
  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
    It's not happened to me (yet!) but my dad lost 60 pounds 3 years ago and has kept it off. Since he is a senior citizen, he's 73, he got it all the time by his friends. It made him so mad! His response was, "Where was your concern when I was fat?" That usually shut them up.

    That is the PERFECT response!
    People have had their perspective skewed so badly. It sounds like these people feel threatened by your hard work or feel bad about being out of shape themselves.

    Weight loss does not equal illness.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    ALL THE TIME! I get "You are already too skinny"..."You live in the windy city, you might blow away if you keep this up"..."You eat like a bird" My diary is public, so you are welcome to snoop and see what I eat. LOL

    But my favorite isnt even a rude comment...at one point someone stole my Dove Dark Chocolate and put it in the kitchenette so everyone else could eat it.
  • silver330xi
    silver330xi Posts: 2 Member
    I've been dealing with this lately as well. And you know what? It HURTS. I am sorry that you are dealing with this. You do what you need to do, for YOU. We'll all be your positive reinforcements here at MFP. :-)

    Also, where were these caring people when we weren't eating so healthy and caring about ourweight? That's how I look at it anyways. No one cared when I was shoveling potato chips and Doritos and ice cream in, but they all of a sudden care now that I'm eating healthy?
  • Angela_MA
    Angela_MA Posts: 260
    "Wow you look like you have put on some weight!" This is after I lost 20+ pounds...that one hurt me! This prson knew I was changing my lifestyle, so it hurt even more. Hubby told me they were just jealous of my sexy new body! Gotta love the hubby! :heart: :love:
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
    I get that a lot too. I think the biggest problem is that most people nowadays have a distorted idea of what HEALTHY weight is.

    I say, keep up the great work and don't let those people get to you. If possible, maybe even educate them as to what's "healthy".

    This is the first problem ^. The second is that people don't like to think you are successful because it makes them feel less so. I get this all the time. It's discouraging. But it's them, not you! I gave blood yesterday and the woman doing it was prompting me to eat and looking at me disaprovingly. At the same time telling me about her prior job of selling very expensive weight loss stuff, and how she eats plenty of fruits, vegetables, and protein at work, so only eats "a little thing" of yogurt at home.

    When I was overweight and said I need to lose weight people said "where!" and if I said I lost a few pounds they would look at me shocked and say "you dont need to lose weight". I was in the Obese BMI and felt awful, plus was so out of shape i had chest pain just going upstairs. Having lost weight they say Whaaaat? "You look fine! where did you lose it?" My family, the last time I lost this much were all telling me I looked anorexic and to stop it. My Brother said he could see around my mouth like I was anorexic. How would they know? They only know what padding looks like. I'm nearly in the middle of my BMI for my height, age, and sex. The BMI is only one little tool, but most things I have read points me to this, as well as how I feel and look. Don't even expect people to understand why you like whole foods better than junk food when you are "there". They can't imagine how bad they feel and how much better you feel and "real" food tastes.

    People won't like you when you are fat. People won't like you when you are skinny. So the real reason is not to do this to become skinny and drop all your imagined problems, it's still you inside there. Do it for you and how you are going to feel! Which is terrific!
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