Motivation From Mockery - a tale of gifs and RUDENESS
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kristikitter
Posts: 602 Member
Right from when I was young, female family members would bring up my weight, consistently, and this has carried on throughout my life, regardless of what size I am.
Normally I'm like:
Like, whatever, I can deal with it.
BUT.
One of the most recent things said to me was "I don't like looking at you when you're fat, you look like an imposter."
And this made me feel like this:
So my question is... what's the worst thing anyone's ever said to you about your weight? And how do you build it into your journey - do you prefer to forget about it, or to use it to spur you on?
Normally I'm like:
Like, whatever, I can deal with it.
BUT.
One of the most recent things said to me was "I don't like looking at you when you're fat, you look like an imposter."
And this made me feel like this:
So my question is... what's the worst thing anyone's ever said to you about your weight? And how do you build it into your journey - do you prefer to forget about it, or to use it to spur you on?
2
Replies
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Hahahaaaa. Those are great.
My mother, every single time she sees me, regardless of whether I have lost or gained weight, "You look great! You have lost sooo much weight!" Her mental image of me must be HUUUGE!
She cannot be around anyone in the family eating anything without commenting negatively on it. It's a running monologue of negativity and diet misinformation. I know where I got my messed up ideas about food. Fortunately, it only took me 51 years to get over them.
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Well I have had many barbs over the years and they all have an effect on ones self esteem because your not happy with yourself in the first place.
But the worst probably when a guy followed me out of a supermarket and tried to sell me HerbalLife products - I was mortified. Somehow I did not see that incident as a positive.....
I actually feel its worse coming from strangers and they have no personal investment in you, annoying for sure but at least you can tell them to ease off.. strangers are gone!1 -
What motivated me to lose the weight 15 years ago was my partner at the time (who was also pretty heavy), she had bought me some jeans and they were too big - I think they were size 26 and she said something to the effect of 'well, they will fit sooner or later'.
My first memory of meanness about my weight was when I was 7. My family had moved into a big house and one of the bathrooms was really narrow.. my brother's friend said I couldn't use it because it was only for skinny people.. he was probably 10 or 11. That was over 45 years ago and I still remember it.1 -
Insults and put-downs motivate my fist in the commentor's face. They would never motivate me to change myself to become what Those People want me to be.
Being oinked at and referred to as "Pig on Patrol" while riding my bike around the neighborhood turned me off exercise for 30 years.2 -
"When is your due date?" And walking to a yard sale, and the person says "I have great baby stuff for sale...." It didn't motivate me necessarily cause I didn't do anything about it thereafter, but still remember the look on the faces when I told them I was not expecting....1
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Upon rereading my post, I see that I forgot to answer the OP's question. These kinds of comments can be extraordinarily hurtful and my heart goes out to the OP and others who have posted here. I guess it is obvious that I deal with these things with humor.
Re: "Pig on Patrol"--I pictured something completely different until I looked at your picture and thought, "Huh, that person isn't old enough to have been riding around the neighborhood on a Harley 30 years ago."1 -
My first obgyn, a female, told me, at 16 I would be a pretty girl if I lost weight. The wrongness , on so many levels.1
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Well I have had many barbs over the years and they all have an effect on ones self esteem because your not happy with yourself in the first place.
But the worst probably when a guy followed me out of a supermarket and tried to sell me HerbalLife products - I was mortified. Somehow I did not see that incident as a positive.....
I actually feel its worse coming from strangers and they have no personal investment in you, annoying for sure but at least you can tell them to ease off.. strangers are gone!
That guy was a total jerk and scam artist.1 -
I have been thin most my life and have large breasts. I was accused of having anorexia and stuffing my bra. Girls used called me Stove Top Stuffing and Twig.0
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It was last night when my wife told me that I was slim enough. And I'm for a fact 30 lb overweight. She's a 'dad-bod' kind of girl. I haven't yet processed the entirety of my response.0
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I remember when I was already anxious about entering middle school, my mom told me I was so big and ate so much that I should get ready for the other kids to make fun of me. I don't remember being made fun of at school, but I'll never forget what my mom said!
It doesn't really factor into my journey at all. People just say things, and its more of a reflection of them than it is of you.2 -
In high school I was under-weight for my height. People called me anorexic and bulemic even though I was not. I ate and ate to put on weight and finally my metabolism started to slow down as I got older and I finally started to gain pounds. Unfortunately I didn't change my eating habits and now I have pounds to lose.
Doesn't matter if you are under or overweight; some people are just mean!1 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »It was last night when my wife told me that I was slim enough. And I'm for a fact 30 lb overweight. She's a 'dad-bod' kind of girl. I haven't yet processed the entirety of my response.
@JeromeBarry1 I don't understand how that is rudeness or mockery?
Well... I wouldn't mind if my husband started working out (actually I'd be really proud of him) but I do love my husband as he is and to me he is the most attractive man I know. He was skinnier when I met him but I do prefer him now with ''something more''. He's still far from fat in my opinion. In all honesty, abs or not, I couldn't care less!
I don't think as his wife it is my job to be anything else but supportive, unless it is a health related concern. And throughout both of my pregnancies he has treated me with the same love and respect.
To answer OP, I don't recall anyone when I was younger telling me anything to my face, I just remember that all of the guys I liked went for my skinnier friends... And then as I got a little older I got into my first ''serious relationship'' and that guy would tell me ''if you just lost a little bit of weight you would be so sexy'' and that left me feeling so inadequate.
I look back on pictures of me back then and I can't even believe that he made me believe that crap, because at that point I had started working out and eating healthy and I was in great shape! I just still couldn't see it because of my lack of self-esteem.0 -
A few months after I left my husband, my mother told me that most women lose weight when they get a divorce and she keeps waiting for it to happen for me....all while rubbing my belly.
Thing is I really wasn't overweight at the time. My mom has always pushed me to try to be stick thin. I have boobs and an *kitten*...it's never gonna happen, lol0 -
Honestly some of the things people have said to you guys! What the f...
Luckily I've never had outright abuse from strangers but I have friends who've been accosted while running. Guess what? It's put them off running, probably forever.
People can be so out of line it's unreal.0 -
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I've had many students over the years call me "Peter Griffin", and I found it extremely disrespectful, until I got to the point where I just accepted that I was a fatty and would always be compared to him. My wife had also used some choice words in arguments that weren't exactly flattering. I had gained almost 100 pounds since she and I first met in college, and it really cut to the core. I'm thankfully now much, much closer to what I weighed 25 years ago...0
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I have a running mantra when I find myself getting upset with other's comments/behavior: "It's not about you. It's about them and how they see the world." Nothing is ever about you. We all live with our own colored glasses and nothing others do is personal. They're living and functioning based on their own bias, prejudice, experience, etc.
BTW, my parents have talked about my weight, tried to give me "help", my whole life. At 16, and the upper end of what is a healthy BMI for me (5'7, 150 lbs.) they took me to a doctor friend who put me on a 800 calorie/day diet. I had to log everything I ate and bring my diary to the doctor visits every month. Growing up, I had been a serious ballet dancer, starving myself to weigh 110 lbs., and when I stopped at 15, I put on some weight. My parent's are very slim and so my being average seemed fat to them. These unrealistic expectations carried for 30 years, and I've yo-yo'd 80 lbs up and down, listening to the "helpful", in their mind, "supportive" talks about my weight all along.
Now... I tell myself, "It's not about you. It's about them", over and over and over.1
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