Women- do you run alone?

After reading through this entire thread, I would like to weigh in (no MFP pun intended) as it is relevant to what I do. As a security management consultant currently working on developing a travel safety/security course I see a lot of parallels between the OP and my work. My advice here is based upon years of training (I’m a retired Special Forces soldier) and current best practices in both the governmental and private sectors. My own wife is one of the best at putting all of this into practice.

First, a general feeling of fear, or the lack thereof, does not correlate to “ground truth” and is typically not beneficial. Being too afraid to run because of something that happened in another city or state is simply a personal reaction to that event not based in fact. Refusing to fear anything (sometimes called the arrogance of over confidence) is essentially the same thing. One may prevent you from engaging in a fun fitness activity while the other could potentially lead a person into a dangerous situation by ignoring the warning signs. Adjusting future behavior based on personal past experience, or nearby events is something else entirely.

I tell folks that what they usually need is a mindset adjustment. For some, this is a major and difficult paradigm shift due to their current state of denial (see #2). However, this shift is essential to reach the understanding that YOU are responsible for your own personal security. Once realized, you must then accept that responsibility. When seconds count, the police are minutes away.

After that the rest is much easier. It’s a three-part process where each part interlocks with the others and it goes something like this:

1. Develop and maintain situational awareness (SA). Most veterans who have been through force protection briefings are familiar with this phrase. Boiled down, SA is being aware of your surroundings and identifying potential threats and dangerous situations. This is a mindset rather than a hard skill. You don’t need to be a spy or combat veteran to adopt good SA practices. All you need is the will and discipline to do so. Key to this is recognizing that threats do indeed exist. Poor SA is often a significant contributor to many accidents and criminal encounters. You aren’t paranoid; you’re now living in a heightened state of awareness.

2. Vanquish denial. Not believing a threat can potentially exist, or that a particular situation is in fact a threat severely reduces the chances of avoidance. Bad things happen to good people. Apathy, complacency, and denial are deadly. “It will never happen to me” and “nothing like that ever happens here” are among the many things people in denial say. Until you can vanquish denial you will always be at war with your natural survival instinct, which is the third component.

3. Trust your gut. A “gut feeling” is really that primitive hunter-gatherer part of your brain doing its job of warning you of danger by noticing those subtle signs that something isn’t right. Too many people ignore or deny (there’s #2 again!) their gut feelings. Why? Many victims have reported they didn’t want to be seen as profiling the person or people who ended up attacking them based on race/ethnicity or socioeconomic status. I encourage profiling, but profiling that is based on behavior, the situation, and the environment. If something seems out of place, or wrong, it usually is. Give yourself permission to listen to your gut. It could save your life.

The discipline part of situational awareness is making the constant, conscious effort to listen to gut feelings and being aware of what is happening around you while being distracted by other things. It takes time to make this second nature, but anyone can do it. Whether you are on a run, walking between your car and the gym, or traveling in a foreign country, these principles are constant.

Being safe is not a feeling. Rather, it is a conscious act.