We broke up because...

Turned out he WAS a dude...my bad.

When reading a book, she would only read the even numbered pages..

Switched from a 1-handed backhand to a 2-handed backhand, always hit his approach shots crosscourt, never implemented a slice serve to compliment his flat and kick serve and always foot-faulted on 2nd serves when playing doubles...

She was always handling somebody else's racquet and balls

Was always sticking her nose too far into other people's business ( into the fur )

Hurt his privates when he slipped standing on the top rope trying to execute a flying body slam

There's two of her. I can't handle both

He imagined people who weren't there
And paid more attention to them!

Kept me up all night

he kept touching my popcorn