Relationships - does size matter?

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Piqueaboo
Piqueaboo Posts: 1,193 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just got rejected by someone I have feelings for, and it came a bit as a surprise because we click on nearly every level. I then obviously started obsessing a bit more than I should, and I was wondering, would it be a size-factor? I've not been in this situation before, so I was hoping on you good people and your knowledge and wisdom, do you perhaps have some insight/stories/experience?

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  • sha_man029
    sha_man029 Posts: 8 Member
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    At my highest weight, my girlfriend weighted 3 times less than me. She is around 32 kgs...while I was 105 kgs (~230 lbs). We do joke about this once in a while, and still do...after almost 5 years being together.

    Size doesn't matter, people do...I guess?
  • PuppetPrincess
    PuppetPrincess Posts: 22 Member
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    Clicking with someone emotionally and being sexually attracted are not the same thing unfortunately. There are a million reasons this person could have for not seeing you that way. What gets everyone going is different and personal. Size matters to some people. Some people are turned on by skinny girls and some love chubby girls. Some people like red heads, some like blondes. It is hard for us to say why they don't feel the same way about you. That's just the super sucky part of dating.

  • MissBeeGonz
    MissBeeGonz Posts: 141 Member
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    Honestly to some people it does but that may not be the reason that person rejected you. It's sucks but you can't help who you like or what type of person you're attracted too. Don't dwell on it the perfect person will come along!
  • kejw08
    kejw08 Posts: 61 Member
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    I might be, it might not be. Without being or knowing that person, we can't honestly answer why they turned you down.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    sha_man029 wrote: »
    At my highest weight, my girlfriend weighted 3 times less than me. She is around 32 kgs...while I was 105 kgs (~230 lbs). We do joke about this once in a while, and still do...after almost 5 years being together.

    Size doesn't matter, people do...I guess?

    Are you sure about those numbers

    I mean 32kgs? That seems a terribly low weight. How tall is she?
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    Piqueaboo wrote: »
    I just got rejected by someone I have feelings for, and it came a bit as a surprise because we click on nearly every level. I then obviously started obsessing a bit more than I should, and I was wondering, would it be a size-factor? I've not been in this situation before, so I was hoping on you good people and your knowledge and wisdom, do you perhaps have some insight/stories/experience?

    What did s/he say?

    Are you body conscious enough that that is the only factor you would jump to in the other party not wanting to proceed into relationship
  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
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    It could've been any number of things honestly, but it just boils down to that person doesn't like you in that way.

    It's best in these situations to just keep on keeping on and not dwell on what it was.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
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    Not everything is for everybody. People have preferences.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Yes, no, maybe. For some people it's an issue and for some it is not. Look around and you will see couples of every size and shape combination. Some arrived at their current size/shape before coupling up and some got there after. Different people find different size/shapes attractive, just like different personality types appeal to different people.
  • JDixon852019
    JDixon852019 Posts: 312 Member
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    Attraction matters and another thing to consider is lifestyle. Fit people tend to want to be with other fit people because they have the same priorities and often the same interests.
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
    edited December 2016
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    It matters to some. I dated a guy that was out when I gained weight. But my husband likes plump gals and accepts that I'm not, well- not to plump :wink:

    Work on you. You don't really know why, so don't feed that negativity. It could be a whole nother issue. Enjoy the friendship.
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
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    Sued0nim wrote: »
    sha_man029 wrote: »
    At my highest weight, my girlfriend weighted 3 times less than me. She is around 32 kgs...while I was 105 kgs (~230 lbs). We do joke about this once in a while, and still do...after almost 5 years being together.

    Size doesn't matter, people do...I guess?

    Are you sure about those numbers

    I mean 32kgs? That seems a terribly low weight. How tall is she?

    70 pounds for an adult is questionable....
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    There is no way for any of us to know that.

    I weighed in the 160s-170s for all of my 20s. My boyfriends were always lighter than me. I may have been too chunky for some, just right for others.

    Size can matter, sure. I personally don't want to date someone who is very out of shape because it does not match with my lifestyle.
  • siraphine
    siraphine Posts: 185 Member
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    Elise4270 wrote: »
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    sha_man029 wrote: »
    At my highest weight, my girlfriend weighted 3 times less than me. She is around 32 kgs...while I was 105 kgs (~230 lbs). We do joke about this once in a while, and still do...after almost 5 years being together.

    Size doesn't matter, people do...I guess?

    Are you sure about those numbers

    I mean 32kgs? That seems a terribly low weight. How tall is she?

    70 pounds for an adult is questionable....

    Unless she's like 4 feet tall I'm really concerned.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Piqueaboo wrote: »
    I just got rejected by someone I have feelings for, and it came a bit as a surprise because we click on nearly every level. I then obviously started obsessing a bit more than I should, and I was wondering, would it be a size-factor? I've not been in this situation before, so I was hoping on you good people and your knowledge and wisdom, do you perhaps have some insight/stories/experience?

    You'd have to ask the guy.
    You should probably just move on though and stop agonizing over why. He didn't share your feelings for whatever reason.

    For some people appearance is a big factor in who they date. They want a particular height, weight, age, hair color, skin color, etc. Other people don't have such a strict physical type and other factors play a bigger role.

    When I met my dh I was shorter, smaller and older than his ex girlfriend. We looked very different.
    During the past 17 years we've been together my appearance has changed a bit. I gained almost 60 lbs. He gained some weight too but not as much. I don't think we saw each other's weight so much.

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