Women- do you run alone?
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Yeah most of these are things women should take the precaution to do when running by yourself. I actually prefer running in the dark, because I feel like I don't have to be focused on people looking at me or whatever.
But the usual, well lit areas, tell someone where you are, one earphone out for noises. And if I see ANYONE weird, I turn around straight then and go home.
But it's so *kitten* that this is even a thing we have to do. It makes me so angry! And the fact that this is enough of a problem that all women at some point or another in their lives have had to factor in, makes me FURIOUS!0 -
CindyFooWho wrote: »I run alone, in the dark. I tell someone where I'm going and how long I expect to be out for, remove my earphones when it feels wise to, stay in better-lit/better-surfaced areas, make sure I'm wearing something bright or reflective, and take my phone with me.
I'm more afraid of getting injured and stranded somewhere than anything else. I think about my personal safety, of course, but I'm loathed to live in fear and lose my freedoms because of crime. At the end of the day, women and girls are more at risk of harm from their male partners, friends and family members than they are from a random on the street. I am stubborn (and possibly quite naive), but I won't give up things I enjoy in response to a threat.
This! I refuse to live in fear.1 -
I don't run as much as I used to, but when I do now it's generally in a treadmill. I like to run to relax, switch off and destress - running alone outside and being constantly on guard defeated the purpose for me.0
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I run alone, in the dark and with a single ear-bud in (so I can hear what's going on around me). I wear a road ID, and use the MapMyRun app, which has a tracker that other MMR users can use to see where I am - and my husband DOES track me with it. I always let my men know where I'm going and when I expect to be back. And FWIW, I worry more about getting hit by a car (I run on a busy road usually) than any purposeful violence. My theory is that when I'm supposed to die, I'm going to die - it won't matter if I'm running by myself in the dark on a busy road or if I'm asleep in my bed. When it's my time, it's my time.
When I'm hiking, I typically take my two polar bear sized Great Pyrs with me. No one in their right mind is going to come near me with violence or deviousness in mind when they're with me. If they do... well, they deserve the butt-chewing that follows.
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Yes, or I wouldn't be able to run much at all. I take common sense precautions but otherwise don't worry more than I worry about any of the other dangers that are inherent in everyday life - like driving.2
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I used to think that way and run on bike trails before and loved it. Now that I have to children I would just not risk it... I miss it and it frustrates me but I've heard of too many things in my area and the risk to me isn't worth it. I wish I had the balls all of you have!!0
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After reading through this entire thread, I would like to weigh in (no MFP pun intended) as it is relevant to what I do. As a security management consultant currently working on developing a travel safety/security course I see a lot of parallels between the OP and my work. My advice here is based upon years of training (I’m a retired Special Forces soldier) and current best practices in both the governmental and private sectors. My own wife is one of the best at putting all of this into practice.
First, a general feeling of fear, or the lack thereof, does not correlate to “ground truth” and is typically not beneficial. Being too afraid to run because of something that happened in another city or state is simply a personal reaction to that event not based in fact. Refusing to fear anything (sometimes called the arrogance of over confidence) is essentially the same thing. One may prevent you from engaging in a fun fitness activity while the other could potentially lead a person into a dangerous situation by ignoring the warning signs. Adjusting future behavior based on personal past experience, or nearby events is something else entirely.
I tell folks that what they usually need is a mindset adjustment. For some, this is a major and difficult paradigm shift due to their current state of denial (see #2). However, this shift is essential to reach the understanding that YOU are responsible for your own personal security. Once realized, you must then accept that responsibility. When seconds count, the police are minutes away.
After that the rest is much easier. It’s a three-part process where each part interlocks with the others and it goes something like this:
1. Develop and maintain situational awareness (SA). Most veterans who have been through force protection briefings are familiar with this phrase. Boiled down, SA is being aware of your surroundings and identifying potential threats and dangerous situations. This is a mindset rather than a hard skill. You don’t need to be a spy or combat veteran to adopt good SA practices. All you need is the will and discipline to do so. Key to this is recognizing that threats do indeed exist. Poor SA is often a significant contributor to many accidents and criminal encounters. You aren’t paranoid; you’re now living in a heightened state of awareness.
2. Vanquish denial. Not believing a threat can potentially exist, or that a particular situation is in fact a threat severely reduces the chances of avoidance. Bad things happen to good people. Apathy, complacency, and denial are deadly. “It will never happen to me” and “nothing like that ever happens here” are among the many things people in denial say. Until you can vanquish denial you will always be at war with your natural survival instinct, which is the third component.
3. Trust your gut. A “gut feeling” is really that primitive hunter-gatherer part of your brain doing its job of warning you of danger by noticing those subtle signs that something isn’t right. Too many people ignore or deny (there’s #2 again!) their gut feelings. Why? Many victims have reported they didn’t want to be seen as profiling the person or people who ended up attacking them based on race/ethnicity or socioeconomic status. I encourage profiling, but profiling that is based on behavior, the situation, and the environment. If something seems out of place, or wrong, it usually is. Give yourself permission to listen to your gut. It could save your life.
The discipline part of situational awareness is making the constant, conscious effort to listen to gut feelings and being aware of what is happening around you while being distracted by other things. It takes time to make this second nature, but anyone can do it. Whether you are on a run, walking between your car and the gym, or traveling in a foreign country, these principles are constant.
Being safe is not a feeling. Rather, it is a conscious act.
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My post above was not meant to discourage women from running alone. The purpose was to arm those who do, or anyone for that matter, with some tools to improve their safety.0
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After reading through this entire thread, I would like to weigh in (no MFP pun intended) as it is relevant to what I do. As a security management consultant currently working on developing a travel safety/security course I see a lot of parallels between the OP and my work. My advice here is based upon years of training (I’m a retired Special Forces soldier) and current best practices in both the governmental and private sectors. My own wife is one of the best at putting all of this into practice.
First, a general feeling of fear, or the lack thereof, does not correlate to “ground truth” and is typically not beneficial. Being too afraid to run because of something that happened in another city or state is simply a personal reaction to that event not based in fact. Refusing to fear anything (sometimes called the arrogance of over confidence) is essentially the same thing. One may prevent you from engaging in a fun fitness activity while the other could potentially lead a person into a dangerous situation by ignoring the warning signs. Adjusting future behavior based on personal past experience, or nearby events is something else entirely.
I tell folks that what they usually need is a mindset adjustment. For some, this is a major and difficult paradigm shift due to their current state of denial (see #2). However, this shift is essential to reach the understanding that YOU are responsible for your own personal security. Once realized, you must then accept that responsibility. When seconds count, the police are minutes away.
After that the rest is much easier. It’s a three-part process where each part interlocks with the others and it goes something like this:
1. Develop and maintain situational awareness (SA). Most veterans who have been through force protection briefings are familiar with this phrase. Boiled down, SA is being aware of your surroundings and identifying potential threats and dangerous situations. This is a mindset rather than a hard skill. You don’t need to be a spy or combat veteran to adopt good SA practices. All you need is the will and discipline to do so. Key to this is recognizing that threats do indeed exist. Poor SA is often a significant contributor to many accidents and criminal encounters. You aren’t paranoid; you’re now living in a heightened state of awareness.
2. Vanquish denial. Not believing a threat can potentially exist, or that a particular situation is in fact a threat severely reduces the chances of avoidance. Bad things happen to good people. Apathy, complacency, and denial are deadly. “It will never happen to me” and “nothing like that ever happens here” are among the many things people in denial say. Until you can vanquish denial you will always be at war with your natural survival instinct, which is the third component.
3. Trust your gut. A “gut feeling” is really that primitive hunter-gatherer part of your brain doing its job of warning you of danger by noticing those subtle signs that something isn’t right. Too many people ignore or deny (there’s #2 again!) their gut feelings. Why? Many victims have reported they didn’t want to be seen as profiling the person or people who ended up attacking them based on race/ethnicity or socioeconomic status. I encourage profiling, but profiling that is based on behavior, the situation, and the environment. If something seems out of place, or wrong, it usually is. Give yourself permission to listen to your gut. It could save your life.
The discipline part of situational awareness is making the constant, conscious effort to listen to gut feelings and being aware of what is happening around you while being distracted by other things. It takes time to make this second nature, but anyone can do it. Whether you are on a run, walking between your car and the gym, or traveling in a foreign country, these principles are constant.
Being safe is not a feeling. Rather, it is a conscious act.
I love everything about this post!2 -
If I didn't run alone, I would rarely run.
I try to make reasonably safe decisions - I try to run during daylight (but can't always), I choose my routes so that I am in a well-lit, low-vehicular traffic area, I choose my routes so that I always know where I am, I take my dog with me when I can if I'm running at night, I keep my phone with me, I use good judgment with my headphones, that sort of thing.
The risk of something bad happening is small, and I won't let it keep me off the road. But I don't dismiss it, either. I try to be smart about it. My husband sometimes will hear something on the news and go on a kick where he wants me to quit running alone, but then I'm like, "fine, run WITH me" and we'll run together a few times, and one of us will be frustrated, and that's it. He runs faster than me, I run longer than him. He likes a morning run, I like an evening run. We can run together sometimes, but we really cannot run together always. I don't really HAVE any other candidates for running buddies.0 -
What the media sensationalized and the reality for most people are very different. I worked nights (7pm to 7am) and would go for walks at 2 and 3 in the morning by myself. According to most media I should be dead. I won't let fear of a 'maybe' rule my life. Granted, I also took precautions- cell phone, mace, and stay in lit areas.
An example of the media distorting views is, I met a Dr from Pakistan, nice guy with a lovely family, and he said when they first came over they were afraid to leave their house after dark because of all the gangs/shootings.0 -
I don't run, but I'm out walking between 4 and 5 a.m. every day it isn't icy with the dog and the cat. It's not a high crime area but I'm careful and careful of traffic (people aren't paying attention that early I have found). I think being very aware of your surroundings is important.
My husband worries about it more now that the dog has gone deaf - she used to be really good at alerting me to the odd coyote (or bunny) in the vicinity. The cat isn't very good at alerting me to perceived dangers.
I don't think I could give up the early morning walks, I enjoy them way too much. Besides, the dog lets me know when it's walk time and she's very, very persistent.0 -
I don't run, but I'm out walking between 4 and 5 a.m. every day it isn't icy with the dog and the cat. It's not a high crime area but I'm careful and careful of traffic (people aren't paying attention that early I have found). I think being very aware of your surroundings is important.
My husband worries about it more now that the dog has gone deaf - she used to be really good at alerting me to the odd coyote (or bunny) in the vicinity. The cat isn't very good at alerting me to perceived dangers.
I don't think I could give up the early morning walks, I enjoy them way too much. Besides, the dog lets me know when it's walk time and she's very, very persistent.
That's cats for you.2 -
My wife runs alone, but has taken the necessary steps to be prepared. She ensures that I or another is aware of her route and estimation of time it will take. She is armed with a cell, pepper spray and firearm. If she is listening to music she has one bud out and aware of her surroundings maintaining situational awareness.
Personal safety is your responsibility. You can either embrace this or live in denial.1 -
I gave up running on my country road. My biggest fear after worrying about loose dogs was worrying about getting run over by a distracted driver. I had to analyze every car coming towards me to determine if: 1) the driver sees me and will move over, 2) the driver is texting and doesn't see me, 3) the driver is aware of me, but refuses to move over, or, refuses to slow down if someone is coming the other direction. (time to jump in the ditch?) I run on my gym's track in the winter and on an outside track in warm weather.
As far as driving to a park or neighborhood to run, several year's ago, my husband talked me into taking a CCW course in order to carry a handgun on runs. I got the permit, but decided that if I need a gun in order to feel safe somewhere, then, you know, I just don't want to be there at all.0 -
Your post was wonderful and it was incredibly kind that you took the time to post something so helpful. Thank you so much for caring enough to do so!
I will always run alone, because otherwise I would never get to run! But the reality is that every time I leave the house alone I face these risks, and I know that. You have posted a wonderful wealth of information on how to take control and empower ourselves the best we can if we choose to not let the fear take over our lives.
Hopefully someday I won't fear a run alone, or a walk to my car from a store or a visit to a public restroom...but until then I just have to do my best to notice and avoid anything amiss.My post above was not meant to discourage women from running alone. The purpose was to arm those who do, or anyone for that matter, with some tools to improve their safety.
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WickAndArtoo wrote: »
Your post was wonderful and it was incredibly kind that you took the time to post something so helpful. Thank you so much for caring enough to do so!
I will always run alone, because otherwise I would never get to run! But the reality is that every time I leave the house alone I face these risks, and I know that. You have posted a wonderful wealth of information on how to take control and empower ourselves the best we can if we choose to not let the fear take over our lives.
Hopefully someday I won't fear a run alone, or a walk to my car from a store or a visit to a public restroom...but until then I just have to do my best to notice and avoid anything amiss.My post above was not meant to discourage women from running alone. The purpose was to arm those who do, or anyone for that matter, with some tools to improve their safety.
Thank you for the kind words. If, by using what I outlined in that post, you channel the fear into vigilance, you find that the fear goes away but the vigilance remains. Once people commit to maintaining good situational awareness they find that they never look at the world the same way again.2
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