Nice Gesture or Annoyance
kschwab0203
Posts: 610 Member
Just looking for some opinions....
My very best friend in whole world and I broke up about a year and half ago. She has be been my best friend my whole life and god mother to my daughter. She has not reached out to me or my daughter, yet when I found out she was pregnant I congratulated her via email as we are no longer friends on social media either (her choice-not mine).
Anywho, she is having her baby today. I thought of maybe sending her flowers but not sure if it will be viewed as a nice gesture or an annoyance. I've never had a girl breakup before so I'm not sure what is appropriate.
Any thoughts or suggestions greatly appreciated!
My very best friend in whole world and I broke up about a year and half ago. She has be been my best friend my whole life and god mother to my daughter. She has not reached out to me or my daughter, yet when I found out she was pregnant I congratulated her via email as we are no longer friends on social media either (her choice-not mine).
Anywho, she is having her baby today. I thought of maybe sending her flowers but not sure if it will be viewed as a nice gesture or an annoyance. I've never had a girl breakup before so I'm not sure what is appropriate.
Any thoughts or suggestions greatly appreciated!
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Replies
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I think you're better off just to leave it alone. It's clear that you mean well, but if she's expressed that she doesn't want to have anything to do with you, then you should respect her wishes.7
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Did she reply to your email? I think it would be sweet but it depends on the reason you broke up1
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Just send a male stripper dressed as a doctor to her hospital room with flowers and balloons.
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Did she reply to your email? I think it would be sweet but it depends on the reason you broke up
Yes she thanked me.
There were so many reasons we broke up. I felt as though she was unsupportive during my divorce. She became very judgmental of my life choices.
She felt as though I had abandoned the friendship.0 -
I don't understand how women can hold grudges.
I once had a friend punch me and I punched him back as hard as I could.
I hit him in the mouth and there was blood everywhere.
( *kitten* deserved it too.)
15 minutes later, I asked him for a ride home.
It was pretty much out of his way but it was raining and he saw it as reasonable request; so he did.1 -
Motorsheen wrote: »I don't understand how women can hold grudges.
I once had a friend punch me and I punched him back as hard as I could.
I hit him in the mouth and there was blood everywhere.
( *kitten* deserved it too.)
15 minutes later, I asked him for a ride home.
It was pretty much out of his way but it was raining and he saw it as reasonable request; so he did.
The reason why men and woman can not coexist in the same habitat, with out fighting.0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »I don't understand how women can hold grudges.
I once had a friend punch me and I punched him back as hard as I could.
I hit him in the mouth and there was blood everywhere.
( *kitten* deserved it too.)
15 minutes later, I asked him for a ride home.
It was pretty much out of his way but it was raining and he saw it as reasonable request; so he did.
I don't get this either. I am not the type of person to hold a grudge. It just promotes negativity.0 -
kschwab0203 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »I don't understand how women can hold grudges.
I once had a friend punch me and I punched him back as hard as I could.
I hit him in the mouth and there was blood everywhere.
( *kitten* deserved it too.)
15 minutes later, I asked him for a ride home.
It was pretty much out of his way but it was raining and he saw it as reasonable request; so he did.
I don't get this either. I am not the type of person to hold a grudge. It just promotes negativity.
Yeah.... I've encountered a lot of different people over the years and truthfully, I've very easy going and approachable.
That being said, I can think of maybe only two people with whom I might hold a grudge.... and frankly, those two *kitten* aren't worth my time either.
*shrug0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »I don't understand how women can hold grudges.
I once had a friend punch me and I punched him back as hard as I could.
I hit him in the mouth and there was blood everywhere.
( *kitten* deserved it too.)
15 minutes later, I asked him for a ride home.
It was pretty much out of his way but it was raining and he saw it as reasonable request; so he did.
Cause women choose too..
secret, I am almost "cough" years old, I just now do not forget who I loan money too, I need all the mooolaaah I can get back, the rest is just a waste of precious energy..
edit: OP it your choice and your conscious.. it might not be appreciated at all, but its how you feel about the gesture.0 -
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kschwab0203 wrote: »Did she reply to your email? I think it would be sweet but it depends on the reason you broke up
Yes she thanked me.
There were so many reasons we broke up. I felt as though she was unsupportive during my divorce. She became very judgmental of my life choices.
She felt as though I had abandoned the friendship.
If you're willing to start a new relationship with her, send flowers. If you rather not, don't.1 -
Keep sending her emails and flowers. Love conquers all.
It's only been a year and a half... someday she'll see the light again. But if you pull the plug now it might totally be the end.
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How can a simple yet thoughtful and kind gesture be taken as an offense?
Flowers and a brief note can't hurt, right?2 -
Send the flowers if you want to, expecting nothing in return. She replied to your email, so I doubt it'd be a total annoyance.6
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Motorsheen wrote: »How can a simple yet thoughtful and kind gesture be taken as an offense?
Flowers and a brief note can't hurt, right?
I do agree with this whole heatedly.. The moment its received might be the perfect one..
Emotions are a funny thing, and since OP is conflicted, protecting her own own feelings or how she deals with making a decision is important as well.
So I say do it.. nothing to lose.. know that the gesture was given from your heart.. cannot go wrong with that all.0 -
Send the flowers if you want to, expecting nothing in return. She replied to your email, so I doubt it'd be a total annoyance.
This is very true.
If it is a gift, then she is free to accept it, embrace it or totally ignore it.
Her emotions and her response are out of your control and are no way your responsibility.0 -
I probably wouldn't, but that's just me. It's not that I hold grudges, I just realize that people move on in relationships, and it's sometimes not worthing hanging around.
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Motorsheen wrote: »Send the flowers if you want to, expecting nothing in return. She replied to your email, so I doubt it'd be a total annoyance.
This is very true.
If it is a gift, then she is free to accept it, embrace it or totally ignore it.
Her emotions and her response are out of your control and are no way your responsibility.
I'm definitely not looking for any specific response from her.....i think0 -
kschwab0203 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Send the flowers if you want to, expecting nothing in return. She replied to your email, so I doubt it'd be a total annoyance.
This is very true.
If it is a gift, then she is free to accept it, embrace it or totally ignore it.
Her emotions and her response are out of your control and are no way your responsibility.
I'm definitely not looking for any specific response from her.....i think
That is the difficult thing about it.
I'm sure that you have a response from her that you would love to hear.
If that doesn't happen, it's probably asking a lot not to be disappointed and that's okay.
You can be disappointed and accepting at the same time, right?
You'll need to keep the disappointment to yourself..... and that can suck.3 -
Motorsheen wrote: »How can a simple yet thoughtful and kind gesture be taken as an offense?
Flowers and a brief note can't hurt, right?
I do agree with this whole heatedly.. The moment its received might be the perfect one..
Emotions are a funny thing, and since OP is conflicted, protecting her own own feelings or how she deals with making a decision is important as well.
So I say do it.. nothing to lose.. know that the gesture was given from your heart.. cannot go wrong with that all.
This is kind of what I was thinking. And if it is not well received then i guess that's ok.2 -
littlemissbgiff wrote: »Save your money sweetness. Catty is as catty does.
This. You are very kind to think of her, but your kind act is probably best left undone.0 -
kschwab0203 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »How can a simple yet thoughtful and kind gesture be taken as an offense?
Flowers and a brief note can't hurt, right?
I do agree with this whole heatedly.. The moment its received might be the perfect one..
Emotions are a funny thing, and since OP is conflicted, protecting her own own feelings or how she deals with making a decision is important as well.
So I say do it.. nothing to lose.. know that the gesture was given from your heart.. cannot go wrong with that all.
This is kind of what I was thinking. And if it is not well received then i guess that's ok.
Exactly. If it is not received well then you know to move on and never contact her again. At least you will know you tried.5 -
RunHardBeStrong wrote: »kschwab0203 wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »How can a simple yet thoughtful and kind gesture be taken as an offense?
Flowers and a brief note can't hurt, right?
I do agree with this whole heatedly.. The moment its received might be the perfect one..
Emotions are a funny thing, and since OP is conflicted, protecting her own own feelings or how she deals with making a decision is important as well.
So I say do it.. nothing to lose.. know that the gesture was given from your heart.. cannot go wrong with that all.
This is kind of what I was thinking. And if it is not well received then i guess that's ok.
Exactly. If it is not received well then you know to move on and never contact her again. At least you will know you tried.
^^^ This.
If you feel it's the right thing to do then do it. If she can't accept it then that's her issue, you have extended an olive branch0 -
Do you want to be friends with her again? Is that the message you want to send? To me getting flowers would say that to me more than a card or e-mail. If that is what you want then flowers are nice.
If you really don't want to be friends again then I'd just leave her alone.0 -
ClubSilencio wrote: »Keep sending her emails and flowers. Love conquers all.
It's only been a year and a half... someday she'll see the light again. But if you pull the plug now it might totally be the end.
Where did they make you? Your parents must of been great parents, I'm guessing. Shining the light!0 -
Thanks for all the feedback you guys! I really appreciate it!
I've decided to send the flowers just to congratulate her and her husband. It was a very long and painful road for them to finally have this little one in their life and as someone who has known her better than anyone, I feel it is the right thing to do.
I am ok with whatever response or lack there of I may receive.6 -
Yeah, I agree with sending them. Don't let others dictate what kind of person you are.2
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I dont think the effort is worth it, if she acted holier than thou about your divorce I assume its because of some religious thing. She obviously doesn't feel the same about you0
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kschwab0203 wrote: »Thanks for all the feedback you guys! I really appreciate it!
I've decided to send the flowers just to congratulate her and her husband. It was a very long and painful road for them to finally have this little one in their life and as someone who has known her better than anyone, I feel it is the right thing to do.
I am ok with whatever response or lack there of I may receive.
Awesome. This makes my heart happy. I hope she receives it well even if it doesn't bring the friendship back to the level it was at.1
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