Parent of a rebellious child + health and fitness
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BayAskew
Posts: 12 Member
Hello everyone I will make this entry short and sweet. I am a single mother of a little boy he is my entire world. But, he is a handful at times. He keeps me on my toes and busy. I have created this to have discussions about being parents while trying to stay fit and healthy.
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Replies
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Yes, health and fitness can be a challenge with little ones, especially if you are dealing with any special needs.
I have two boys (6 and 7). My younger has sensory issues and anxiety. It keeps me on my toes and is, quite frankly, exhausting!1 -
Hello everyone I will make this entry short and sweet. I am a single mother of a little boy he was my entire world. But, he is a handful at times. He keeps me on my toes and busy. I have created this to have discussions about being parents while trying to stay fit and healthy.
He's not your entire world anymore?
My oldest son (he's now 24) is very strong willed and what we (my husband and I) found useful was to get him in sports. That channeled his competitive strong willed nature. He got a full scholarship as well that didn't hurt
But as for health and fitness him keeping you on your toes that should be great exercise.
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I have a one three-year-old son. He is a loving child but is going through a phase where he is throwing fits because he doesn't want to take naps at school. So, the school calls me on a regular basis. And he has also been back talking and being disrespectful.
Our schedule stays pretty busy because I have heard that it is best to keep your children on a steady schedule. But that does not leave me much time to work out, to be honest most of our meals are quick and easy too.0 -
Oh my goodness I should have proof read my entry. He is still and always will be my entire world. I love him more than anything but I'm getting extremely frustrated. I have tried indoor t ball. That was a little less than a year ago and he was not interested at all in following the rules. I have thought about putting him into outdoor sports of some kind at his age like soccer.0
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I don't have kids, but I'm a very strongwilled person. My nephew is just like me and I seem to be the only one he listens to because I understand how he thinks. As far as rules go, unless I can see good reasoning behind them, I struggle with following them. Once someone explains the WHY, I am able to see how logic applies, then they're easy to follow (because they make sense).
Perhaps you can introduce your son to tennis. I found it to be the only sport I truly enjoyed, just realized the other night why - I'm very detail oriented, paying attention to my opponent, I can almost predict what they are going to do. It's a team sport, but not 100%.5 -
I have a teenager who I homeschool. It doesn't impact what I eat or exercise as much as someone with tiny kids.
We don't have a lot of regular outside activities because dd gets overwhelmed. Getting overwhelmed leads to her acting out, not sleeping well, etc. You might consider that your very young child showing some behavior issues may need more unstructured downtime rather than more organized activities/busy schedule for awhile. http://www.parenting.com/article/does-your-child-get-enough-downtime
When dd was 3-4 years old we would set a timer if we needed to do something like exercise or have an adult only conversation.
There are lots of 10-30 minute workouts on you tube. You can probably fit 10-30 minutes in.
Get a babysitter or go to a gym with child care. Be more active during the whole day. Exercise before your child wakes up or after they go to bed.
http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/features/parents-who-exercise-overcoming-the-challenges#1
Get enough sleep. Being sleep deprived isn't terribly healthy.
Plan meals. Fast cooking foods doesn't mean foods lack nutrients. You can cook double and freeze half for another day. Use a slow cooker.
Things you can do together-
Walk, dance, play active games, go to the playground
https://mommypoppins.com/newyorkcitykids/25-exercise-games-indoor-activities-for-kids3 -
I think you're being a little quick to label a 3 year old a "rebellious child". Sounds like a 3 year old to me. And that label, even if you only use it in your head, may adversely set the tone for your relationship.
In my experience, kids need routine but not a busy schedule. They are kids! They learn & develop through play. Particularly if he is already in structured school or day care during the day, he needs some down time! When my son started kindergarten at 5 (no preschool), he came home after too long a day for a 5 year old and acted out. Maybe that's what your son is doing as well. Patience and consistent standards for how people are allowed to speak to each other in the home will help.
As to the impact on diet & exercise, I have homeschooled both my kids, 8 & 11, for the past 5 years. We are together pretty much 24/7 and my son has some OCD & other issues. It can be stressful & tiring. I set a reasonable calorie goal and don't unnecessarily complicate my life with special foods or excessive food preparation. It took a while to get in a regular routine of exercise, but I got better at it when I realize how good a 30 minute break exercise break made me feel & helped me cope. Now the kids will often work out with me to a DVD or we will play tag at the park. Lots of good suggestions from @Lounmoun 2 -
I really like the angle that you have just helped me look at the situation from. You are absolutely right I should not label. Maybe I am letting this get to the best of me and not thinking positively about it.0
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MsAmandaNJ wrote: »I don't have kids, but I'm a very strongwilled person. My nephew is just like me and I seem to be the only one he listens to because I understand how he thinks. As far as rules go, unless I can see good reasoning behind them, I struggle with following them. Once someone explains the WHY, I am able to see how logic applies, then they're easy to follow (because they make sense).
Perhaps you can introduce your son to tennis. I found it to be the only sport I truly enjoyed, just realized the other night why - I'm very detail oriented, paying attention to my opponent, I can almost predict what they are going to do. It's a team sport, but not 100%.
I'm not sure either logic or tennis are words that should be used in conjunction with a 3 year old!
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MsAmandaNJ wrote: »I don't have kids, but I'm a very strongwilled person. My nephew is just like me and I seem to be the only one he listens to because I understand how he thinks. As far as rules go, unless I can see good reasoning behind them, I struggle with following them. Once someone explains the WHY, I am able to see how logic applies, then they're easy to follow (because they make sense).
Perhaps you can introduce your son to tennis. I found it to be the only sport I truly enjoyed, just realized the other night why - I'm very detail oriented, paying attention to my opponent, I can almost predict what they are going to do. It's a team sport, but not 100%.
I'm not sure either logic or tennis are words that should be used in conjunction with a 3 year old!
I understand the poke, but they've got a lot more going on in their heads than we give them credit for. Never too young to give them something to hit things with ;-)1 -
Consistent discipline should start early.2
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I really like the angle that you have just helped me look at the situation from. You are absolutely right I should not label. Maybe I am letting this get to the best of me and not thinking positively about it.
Lol... I think it's in a 3 year old's job description to get the best of their parents! It really is a marathon and not a sprint. I'm an older mom with a little more life experience, but even so, every time a problem comes up, I tend to want to solve it *right now*, and parenting just doesn't work that way, and causes me a ton of stress in the process. Do consider trimming down your schedule for both of your benefit. 0 -
Chef_Barbell wrote: »Consistent discipline should start early.
This is true, too. Realize that the word "discipline" primarily means instruction & training. 3 year olds are tricky, but I think generally it's recommended that you have a short, simple list of (important) house rules and an age appropriate consequence for breaking a rule. And yes, consistency is key. If it's not enforced every time, they'll take their chances.1 -
I have a one three-year-old son. He is a loving child but is going through a phase where he is throwing fits because he doesn't want to take naps at school. So, the school calls me on a regular basis. And he has also been back talking and being disrespectful.
Our schedule stays pretty busy because I have heard that it is best to keep your children on a steady schedule. But that does not leave me much time to work out, to be honest most of our meals are quick and easy too.
You need to hone in on what is bothering him at school. My son is special needs due to a speech delay. This is difficult for some of the daycare workers to understand but if he repeatedly has meltdowns there is usually something triggering it. Ask if they will write a report about what happened prior to the incident so you know what's going on. You can also read him social stories that can help him learn what is appropriate at school and effective ways to deal with his fristrations. I am a single mom as well and it is tough to squeeze in exercise. I do it during my school day and when the kids are asleep on weekends.1 -
He's 3. He's not rebellious, he's learning what he CAN be able to do. And as a parent, you help to set the example. Kids learn from environment and many parents that have kids that talk back, usually have that issue because they as parents talk back. They emulate what they see.
Maybe try laying down with him to take a nap on your days off. My DD went down a 2:00 every day because I laid beside her, shut everything off and just waited till she fell asleep.
It's a lot of work being a parent.
BTW can you work out at gym that has child care? Your child is old enough and kids get used to going to child care to play while you work out for an hour or so. In fact many kids don't want to leave because it's better than just staying home as an only child.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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3 year olds are a handful...I'd hesitate to label them as "rebellious"...3 is by far worse than 2...it gets a little better at 4, but not much...they really don't start to become human until they're almost 5
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At any rate, I have a 4 and 6 y.o and I'm fortunate that I'm not a single parent...but it's still hard at times. For myself, I think my best fitness investment to date is the indoor bike trainer I bought in the fall. I primarily cycle and started having some consistency issues given that my wife was really wanting me home more to help with the kids, particularly now as my oldest is in first grade and has homework (like a lot of it)...
My trainer allows me to be home and I can get a quick spin in whenever I have a bit of time (which I can generally make for most days). Also, I can still get in a ride when my wife is out running errands and I'm watching the kids because I don't need to go anywhere to do it...I just set up the trainer and throw a YouTube spin class on and go while they watch some show on their tablets...
My wife and I also used to belong to a gym that had child care...that was actually really great because we could go get a good workout in and the kids looked forward to playing with other kids...unfortunately, the place was a bit out of our way and commuting 20 minutes each way from home became a pain...but that might be something you want to look into.
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I forgot about the nap thing. Neither one of my kids would nap after about 2 years despite a consistent pre-nap routine. They always slept longer at night, and it didn't hugely impact their daytime behavior (you could definitely tell they were tired at night, though). Not sure how you deal with that in a school setting. They still had "quiet time" after lunch when my son was in kindergarten, and though he never slept, he knew he just had to chill out for a while.0
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Thank you all for the advice and the input. Today I sent my son to school with his favorite blanket that I actually made for him while I was pregnant with him. He has slept with it every night sense. Long story short I sent it to school with him to see if it would help his naptime and it definitely has 3
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OK guys. When it comes to working out I think I have decided that I will start working out at home after I pick my son up from school and maybe that can be a little activity for us to do at home together plus. I hope it works?!1
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You can do something active like cosmic yoga on Youtube. Maybe check it out while he's at school to see if it's appropriate. Or he can "help" with dinner - using sporks to cut up fruit, scooping ingredients in a bowl, putting napkins on the table, etc0
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