Question for Men (Ya, don't hate)
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If that's the case I don't really wanna know. I'm one of the guys, I've always have been, I'll always will be. Most of my friends are men and most of them in a committed relationship. I do not believe there's any attraction there.
Ditto.
I was with my husband for years before I met my best friend of now 16 years. We never had any romantic or sexual issues between us. He wasn't put off by it at all.0 -
In my past experiences, there is always some sort of sexual tension between friends of the opposite sex. I think to some degree there is something there that attracted you to this friend in the first place.
Setting boundaries very early on, sets the stage for the relationship..
If one wants more than the other can deliver then usually the relationship short lived.. If all goes well, you have a friend for life.2 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
People who pursue women only to bed them are sexual predators and are flawed individuals.
Very closeminded statement......
Some people don't want the emotions or the attachment.
Some would argue that that's flawed though. Especially because, biologically, sex is designed to be about emotions and attachment.0 -
I stopped reading at "According to the Daily Mail"9
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MrStabbems wrote: »I stopped reading at According to the Daily Mail
Oakland University, one of the most liberal universities in the world, did the research. Not the Daily Mail.
I've never heard of it but its irrelevant. Research, facts and figures can be done by the top people or institutions in their fields but if the "consumer" doesn't read the research paper (which are almost always dull as feck) then it becomes all about the interpretation and presentation of the research and not the research itself.
When that interpretation is a news article from a gutter paper...Im not interested. Well done for finding it etc but I just cant read anything that xenophobic, hypocritical, borderline racist, hatred inciting useless "newspaper" has to offer.
For anyone interested in the actual research paper: Here
Credit to @newmeadow for finding it in the first place.3 -
When did this become about exes?3
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »The Friend Zone -
I know a lot of men hate being friend zoned.
A lot of the responses lately on the threads make me feel like men only want male/female relationships that have potential for sex.
It makes me question my previous male friendships.
But. Let's say you know the woman is not going there for whatever reason, (prior commitments, married, is a nun, whatever) from the moment you meet.
Would you still bother with a friendship?
Yes, I have a few friends like that, we have a great time together, and talk about *kitten* I cant talk about with my guy friends. There is sexual tension, and we can feel it, its flirty at times, and fun. Other times is dry and boring. I dont think I would be friends with them if there was not some kind of attraction.2 -
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »NorthCascades wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Would you still bother with a friendship?
Of course. I don't understand how this could be a real question.
That's cool, makes me happy.
I used to work with this lady named Liz. She's a hiker, too, so we were instant friends. I'm 38, she's 52 or 53, she has two teenage sons. We hiked the Chelan Lakeshore Trail "together," meaning we both got off the boat together, stopped and chatted for a while, then she and her son took the trail at their pace and Beth and I at ours, but we bumped into each other several times along the way, had breakfast on the trail together, etc. Liz told me things like "Maple Pass is the best ridge walk in the state - go!" and "you haven't lived until you've seen Harts Pass." She was right on both counts. We share lots of pictures, beta, encouragement, etc.
My best friend from childhood always felt like a sister to me. The thought of intimacy with her would have been gross. But we were very close for many years. (Moving across the country made us less close over the years.)
Etc. A lot of etc.1 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I know a lot of men hate being friend zoned.
Only when you're trying to get some in the first place. Sex is wonderful, but there's more to life, too.3 -
NorthCascades wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I know a lot of men hate being friend zoned.
Only when you're trying to get some in the first place. Sex is wonderful, but there's more to life, too.
Fantastic! 0 -
I have female friends that I don't have any sexual desire towards. Then, I have some that I do have an attraction for but I don't pursue it. It's just a natural thing to have a physical "attraction" to attractive people. Or to develop an attraction based on personality. So, you can be friends with the opposite sex. I think it's case by case.7
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NorthCascades wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »I know a lot of men hate being friend zoned.
Only when you're trying to get some in the first place. Sex is wonderful, but there's more to life, too.
please tell the younger youths1 -
why would you be friends?1
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Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost all my male friends have never thought sexually about me. That's gross. Those dudes are like my brothers.
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In my past experiences, there is always some sort of sexual tension between friends of the opposite sex. I think to some degree there is something there that attracted you to this friend in the first place.
Setting boundaries very early on, sets the stage for the relationship..
If one wants more than the other can deliver then usually the relationship short lived.. If all goes well, you have a friend for life.
This post spells out my thoughts on it better than I could although I am hesitant to paint everyone (nor every male/female relationship) with the same brush. I'm not even sure there is a right or wrong answer as much as it is simply an interesting topic to discuss.2 -
My two best friends are guys. I was in a relationship when I met them. I went through a couple of boyfriends and have since gotten married, and they've been there with me for all of it. The idea that the endgame for either of them was sleeping with me is ridiculous - if that was all they wanted, they would have bailed a long time ago. We've all be through too much together, and we've been each other's rocks through dark periods.
I do have other guy friends that I see infrequently and in "safer" settings like a restaurant rather than alone at their house. I don't have the same level of trust or comfort with them, and while I don't *think* they'd be disrespectful, I don't know them as well. I do think there's a lot of guys out there who value sex more than friendship, and I've been burned in the past by being overly trusting.
My husband's best friend is a woman. She was married when they met, then got divorced. He misread her desire to spend a lot of time with him during that difficult time as romantic interest, and she broke his heart, but they got through it and rebuilt a strong platonic friendship. She was the best woman at our wedding, and one of my guy friends was my man of honor.
I'm not jealous of my husband's friend, he's not jealous of my friends, my best friend's girlfriend isn't jealous of me, my husband's best friend's husband isn't jealous of him... We all know each other and hang out together. When I tell people this I get weird reactions, like they can't believe this utopia exists, but we all have strong relationships built on honesty and transparency.2 -
KrazyDaizy wrote: »Seriously, I'm pretty sure almost all my male friends have never thought sexually about me. That's gross. Those dudes are like my brothers.
You would be totally surprised at who thinks of you sexually...don't underestimate yourself, friends or not!4 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »A lot of the responses lately on the threads make me feel like men only want male/female relationships that have potential for sex.
Depends on the guy. For me, I certainly am not friends with females always looking for ways to have sex with them. I have life long girl friends that I have never crossed that line, and never would, even though there are a few that are absolutely bangable in the physical sense. I do flirt a lot with just about every girl I know. Heck, I flirt with guys in a friendly way sometimes, but it's really all for not.
I do have a few acquaintances that I do think about sex. Like...a lot.
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
People who pursue women only to bed them are sexual predators and are flawed individuals.
Very closeminded statement......
Some people don't want the emotions or the attachment.
[, biologically, sex is designed to be about emotions and attachment.
.... along with rubber bedsheets, handcuffs and gatorade
1
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