How has your weight loss affected your marriage?

I began my weight loss journey in January of this year. My husband knew how unhappy and uncomfortable I had become with myself. At first he was supportive, but now his attitude has changed; lately he rolls his eyes when I measure my portion sizes or mention that I need to log my meals. I don't talk about my weight, in fact I barely mention it at all. He has asked me before if I am losing the weight for someone. Has this happened to anyone else?
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Replies

  • JessicaMcB
    JessicaMcB Posts: 1,503 Member
    Me and my husband actually started off together in February, but he injured himself and got off track by April. I'm now down 90lbs and he admits he's heavier than when we started ten months ago. He has always been unwaveringly supportive though. I would be gutted if he was questioning why I was losing like that :(
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
    I think a lot of spouses ask that question, either out loud or to themselves. It's not a crazy question to ask. Obviously something made you want to change yourself. I can see how a spouse might wonder.

    Just be open and explain your reasons to him. Communication can work wonders.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,879 Member
    My weight loss hasn't really had any impact on my marriage...but, my wife started eating better along with me (I'm the cook) and when she saw me being more active and exercising, it inspired her to do the same.

    We were both reasonably good athletes at one time, but we really let ourselves go for awhile...me moving my *kitten* again really inspired her to do the same. It's great being back to our old fitness geek selves...
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,345 Member
    Back in 2012 i was really unhappy with my size, hubby at that point told me he'd help me get fitter by both of us committing to walk together daily...then I found mfp. ...both of us shaped up, lost weight together and have kept it off since.
    He did start to complain a little when i started getting up at 6am to workout but I kept getting up and to this day still workout every morning. Both of us keep active in general which is great :smile:
  • kellansmommy11
    kellansmommy11 Posts: 61 Member
    My husband was kind of supportive at first. I don't think that he realized I was really going to stick with it. Anyway, he was kind of supportive but then slowly I can tell that it just kind of annoys him. He doesn't understand why I am so active and he doesn't like to try the healthier food that I cook. He has pretty high metabolism so he can pretty much eat anything and not exercise and barely gain any weight. he isn't suspicious about any other motives or anything, just not enthusiastic or supportive in general. So I just ignore him. I'm happy with the way my weight loss is going and that's really all that matters. I didn't start this for him, I did it for me.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
    I'm sorry this is happening to you. My husband seems to take me more seriously and is even more supportive the longer I keep at it.
  • Cylphin60
    Cylphin60 Posts: 863 Member
    Sorry you have to deal with that OP. He may just need extra reassurance. I've been super fortunate in that my wife has been on board since day one. She loves the healthier eating (I cook) and she's now losing weight as well. We're getting more and more active together..all around good stuff. I hope it happens for you too, soon.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    My husband was kind of supportive at first. I don't think that he realized I was really going to stick with it. Anyway, he was kind of supportive but then slowly I can tell that it just kind of annoys him. He doesn't understand why I am so active and he doesn't like to try the healthier food that I cook. He has pretty high metabolism so he can pretty much eat anything and not exercise and barely gain any weight. he isn't suspicious about any other motives or anything, just not enthusiastic or supportive in general. So I just ignore him. I'm happy with the way my weight loss is going and that's really all that matters. I didn't start this for him, I did it for me.
    I think my husband didn't think I wouldn't stick with it either. He says that he is open to try healthier recipes, but he doesn't like most of them.
  • Rocknut53
    Rocknut53 Posts: 1,794 Member
    I've been at this since January as well and have reached my goal, a weight I haven't seen in 35 years or so. My husband was curious at first about all the weighing and measuring and me sneaking out of bed in the morning to pee and weigh in. I'm sure he was skeptical at first because I've tried this so many times and failed. He's very supportive now. He has enjoyed our new way of eating, we try new recipes all the time. Of course at our ages, 63 & 65, he's not worried about me doing it for anyone else. In fact, I've been adamant that this is only for me, no one else, not even him. He's good with that.
  • Darkness_Fall
    Darkness_Fall Posts: 6 Member
    At first my wife and I were doing everything together. Weighing our meals, working out together, kicking butt. Late spring/early summer we ran into some issues unrelated to health and food, and our fitness and eating started to disappear. All the sudden, in the middle of summer, she out of no where starts working out and eating healthy, leaving me in the dust, doesn't want to work with me or do anything with me. I understand and fully support "doing it for yourself." That has continued until now, with very little or no support from her. She is off doing her own thing, and I have struggled to do my own. Divorce (again, through other issues) has become a real possibility, and lately I have been filled with a desire and motivation to lose the 200+ I need to lose. I found out she started talking with a guy (she swears they are just friends, nothing more) but that is about when our problems started and she started wanting to lose weight and be healthy, without me. I feel guilty because my motivation and inspiration isn't because of her, but what is a guy to do? All I can say is what other's have, and do it for you. Keep kicking butt. Us guys can be a bit thick headed, but in the end, I really hope he starts supporting you and stops questioning you!
  • mila_lova
    mila_lova Posts: 163 Member
    edited December 2016
    I gained 20lbs in the past year. My boyfriend had a talk with me about my unhealthy habits (I am recovering from binge eating disorder) and the rapid weight gain. He was worried about my psychological health. And he said if I kept gaining weight it's a deal breaker.

    That gave me the jolt I needed to really get serious about healing my eating disorder.

    He LOVES all the healthy changes I've made. He's really proud of all of my hard work. He sometimes gets a little smile when he catches me weighing my food. I don't think I could do this difficult journey without his support.

    I'm really sorry that your man isn't supportive. Do you think telling him that his attitude hurts your feelings would help? Maybe if he knew how he was making you feel, and if you guys talked about his concerns, he'd be nicer. Also, maybe if you told him just how important he is to you and how much his support would mean to you- like make him feel super essential and like he's an important factor in your success.
  • mila_lova
    mila_lova Posts: 163 Member
    At first my wife and I were doing everything together. Weighing our meals, working out together, kicking butt. Late spring/early summer we ran into some issues unrelated to health and food, and our fitness and eating started to disappear. All the sudden, in the middle of summer, she out of no where starts working out and eating healthy, leaving me in the dust, doesn't want to work with me or do anything with me. I understand and fully support "doing it for yourself." That has continued until now, with very little or no support from her. She is off doing her own thing, and I have struggled to do my own. Divorce (again, through other issues) has become a real possibility, and lately I have been filled with a desire and motivation to lose the 200+ I need to lose. I found out she started talking with a guy (she swears they are just friends, nothing more) but that is about when our problems started and she started wanting to lose weight and be healthy, without me. I feel guilty because my motivation and inspiration isn't because of her, but what is a guy to do? All I can say is what other's have, and do it for you. Keep kicking butt. Us guys can be a bit thick headed, but in the end, I really hope he starts supporting you and stops questioning you!

    I'm sorry that you guys are in a tough place. I'm wishing you all the best and hope things work out in the best possible way for both of you.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
    I have more energy. I am healthier.
    Dh has said he wants me to be healthy and happy.
    There have been no other impacts over 2 years.
  • helocat
    helocat Posts: 40 Member
    OP sorry that is the case. As others have said tell him your doing for YOU and his support is appreciated.

    I have been at it only a Month. My wife has been skeptical of my efforts. It's funny too as she is a Clinical Dietitian. She has always been fit her whole life eating well and running every other day at a min. Me never really "fit" past age 22 and more and more not so as I pass 45. I am following a Keto diet and she has been doing these in the hospital for Coma, Epilepsy etc. patients. But to use it simpley for weight loss she is not 100% suportive, rolling eyes and not wanting to discuss foods etc. since that is what she does all day. Same with my exercise, roll eyes etc. It's all rooted in the "your not going to stick with it" concept. I tried in 2013 and failed, but no MFP and no diet then. However she does enjoy cooking heathy I am very fortunate there, and she is very aware of what foods have carbs etc. So like tonight she is cooking spaghetti for our teens, but steeming a spaghetti squash for her and I with chicken sausages.

    For me I am just reminding myself I am doing this for ME, no one else.