People Who Waited for Sex Before Marriage?
Replies
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Who waits for anything these days? I put a lot of stock into the sexual compatibility aspect but alas.... There are other factors in life. Who knew?0
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I didn't couldn't wait, but my first boyfriend was also the first marriage for me.0
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Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...6 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...
LOL! Good thing she has her priorities in order! Wouldn't wanna mess up the vajayjay...but everything else is fair game!1 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...
Did you marry her, though?0 -
JustMissTracy wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...
LOL! Good thing she has her priorities in order! Wouldn't wanna mess up the vajayjay...but everything else is fair game!
If she married, I bet that guy is disappointed...all he probably gets is vagina since married and all...
I also wonder how that conversation would go..."I've been saving myself for you babe...well, except for my *kitten* and my mouth...but my vajayjay has never been used."2 -
I like the build up of sexual tension between people, its fun, and very distracting. So there is something to holding off on sex with someone, until you cant stand it no more... lol Then you have mad monkey love sex..... lol1
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JustMissTracy wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...
Did you marry her, though?
Lol...no...she ended up being kind of a weirdo.2 -
Ironically , most of us do more waiting for sex after marriage...and kids...and work...and life.3
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Well, that was a LONG time ago.
But I grew up in California in the 1970s. There wasn't much waiting.
Then I moved to Minnesota. Girls there held off. I felt it was like this was a challenge, a test you had to pass: You had to hang around, to show that you were really serious, before you could get to the goods.
But, here's the thing. You hung around because you were frustrated. You were stymied. You were desperate cuz you weren't satisfied. You had to hang around because the whole thing had gotten you so worked up.
But when you hung around, then you were misleading them. You weren't really interested in them. You couldn't really know whether you were interested in them because you were so frustrated. You were horny. You couldn't think straight. And, the promise was held out there -- make it thru 4/5/6 dates, pretend your genitalia isn't doing the thinking, then you'll get some.
In California, in the free love era of the 70s, if you met someone and there was a definite, serious, physical attraction, then you probably groped each other and had sex right away. It had to be "serious" because you weren't driven to distraction by denial so badly that you were compelled to jump whoever you could.
But then, once the lust was out of the way, you could actually look at this other person, and talk to them, and decide, more rationally and objectively, whether or not you were really into them as a person.
You could ask the question of yourself: Do I really like this person? Do I really want to invest in them?
When they hold you off, it is like a test. Now, sometimes it takes a person time to become comfortable enough with another person to want to do something as intimate as sex. I get that. But sometimes it is just a test. A cheap test. An unfair test. A hurdle that breeds resentment and resentment is not a good thing to have starting a relationship.5 -
I swear couples should have a checklist on compatibility before they make this commitment. Everyone has an idea of what manner and frequency they think is normal, which may no be normal or simply bat *kitten* crazy to another.
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Dannigreen31 wrote: »@cgreen120288 ooopscgreen120288 wrote: »Dannigreen31 wrote: »@cgreen120288 ooops
We're going to hell @Dannigreen31
Worth it tho, who wants to be surrounded by angels anyway?
So like, are y'all married? Or nah?
I noticed you have the same mfp last names....
Inquiring minds are dying to know.1 -
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cwolfman13 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...
There are no words. All i did was LOL!0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »JustMissTracy wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...
LOL! Good thing she has her priorities in order! Wouldn't wanna mess up the vajayjay...but everything else is fair game!
If she married, I bet that guy is disappointed...all he probably gets is vagina since married and all...
I also wonder how that conversation would go..."I've been saving myself for you babe...well, except for my *kitten* and my mouth...but my vajayjay has never been used."
OMG I am literally rolling!!!!
Please stop!!! LMAO!!!0 -
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cgreen120288 wrote: »Dannigreen31 wrote: »@cgreen120288 ooopscgreen120288 wrote: »Dannigreen31 wrote: »@cgreen120288 ooops
We're going to hell @Dannigreen31
Worth it tho, who wants to be surrounded by angels anyway?
So like, are y'all married? Or nah?
I noticed you have the same mfp last names....
Inquiring minds are dying to know.
Not yet ... she'll be Mrs Green next year though
Inquiring minds? Pray tell
OMG congrats! Is there a pic of the ring? I love a good romantic story. Mostly because I'm an old divorced woman and am destined to die a lonely cat lady without cats.4 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »JustMissTracy wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...
Did you marry her, though?
Lol...no...she ended up being kind of a weirdo.
Not surprising. Her logic is weird.0 -
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LiftingLady5 wrote: »cgreen120288 wrote: »LiftingLady5 wrote: »cgreen120288 wrote: »PlaydohPants wrote: »cgreen120288 wrote: »Dannigreen31 wrote: »@cgreen120288 ooopscgreen120288 wrote: »Dannigreen31 wrote: »@cgreen120288 ooops
We're going to hell @Dannigreen31
Worth it tho, who wants to be surrounded by angels anyway?
So like, are y'all married? Or nah?
I noticed you have the same mfp last names....
Inquiring minds are dying to know.
Not yet ... she'll be Mrs Green next year though
Inquiring minds? Pray tell
So yinz are engaged? Another inquiring mind here
Yep
Went for an Emerald ring rather than diamond, being green and all that!
Is this like a real life thing or an mfp thing because sometimes it's hard to tell the difference
We met through MFP, buts it's very much a real life thing
Congrats and good choice on the ring. I like different.
That filter hahah
awww yeh it's all real 0 -
I swear couples should have a checklist on compatibility before they make this commitment. Everyone has an idea of what manner and frequency they think is normal, which may no be normal or simply bat *kitten* crazy to another.
When one partner is in the mood and the other isn't, how does the couple resolve that? Whoever isn't feeling it has ultimate veto power? One of them has to do their duty? Schedule intercourse ahead of time to take the anxiety and guesswork (and spontaneity) out of it?
I think this is exactly the kind of thing a checklist can't work for, because of "unknown unknowns" as Rummy put it.1 -
NorthCascades wrote: »I swear couples should have a checklist on compatibility before they make this commitment. Everyone has an idea of what manner and frequency they think is normal, which may no be normal or simply bat *kitten* crazy to another.
When one partner is in the mood and the other isn't, how does the couple resolve that? Whoever isn't feeling it has ultimate veto power? One of them has to do their duty? Schedule intercourse ahead of time to take the anxiety and guesswork (and spontaneity) out of it?
I think this is exactly the kind of thing a checklist can't work for, because of "unknown unknowns" as Rummy put it.
I've heard guys don't like it if you just "do your duty" because they can tell you're not into it and that makes it not fun to do.1 -
cgreen120288 wrote: »cgreen120288 wrote: »Dannigreen31 wrote: »@cgreen120288 ooopscgreen120288 wrote: »Dannigreen31 wrote: »@cgreen120288 ooops
We're going to hell @Dannigreen31
Worth it tho, who wants to be surrounded by angels anyway?
So like, are y'all married? Or nah?
I noticed you have the same mfp last names....
Inquiring minds are dying to know.
Not yet ... she'll be Mrs Green next year though
Inquiring minds? Pray tell
OMG congrats! Is there a pic of the ring? I love a good romantic story. Mostly because I'm an old divorced woman and am destined to die a lonely cat lady without cats.
Well that's a pic of the ring (on the website of the store I bought it from)
Danielle you'll have to upload a pic of your finger so these guys can see it my love ❤️
Soooo pretty. Good choice. My redheaded, green-eyed friend got an emerald engagement ring in a gold setting, and it's stunning. I think it's one of the prettiest stones out there. I love it when people get really personal with their rings - my wedding band has diamonds for my birth month and amethyst for husband's birth month. Just makes it all the more meaningful to me.0 -
NorthCascades wrote: »I swear couples should have a checklist on compatibility before they make this commitment. Everyone has an idea of what manner and frequency they think is normal, which may no be normal or simply bat *kitten* crazy to another.
When one partner is in the mood and the other isn't, how does the couple resolve that? Whoever isn't feeling it has ultimate veto power? One of them has to do their duty? Schedule intercourse ahead of time to take the anxiety and guesswork (and spontaneity) out of it?
I think this is exactly the kind of thing a checklist can't work for, because of "unknown unknowns" as Rummy put it.
I've heard guys don't like it if you just "do your duty" because they can tell you're not into it and that makes it not fun to do.
Depends on the guy. And the lady. If you're not into it but do it anyway, he might take it as a gift of love and be heartwarmed; he might be hurt that you aren't into him at that moment; he might want to but not because he thinks it would be wrong. Plus there are also different kinds of not into it, from "I want space now" to "sex isn't what I had in mind but doesn't sound bad either" and his guess about which one it is might influence his reaction.
Every couple has mismatched libidos. Our sex drives wax and wane like the moon, and they're individual things on top of it. Depending how important sex is to each partner, that can cause a lot of stress in a relationship. Or not. I think how people approach these things is a lot more important than just how often.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »JustMissTracy wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »That's why the butt sex was invented. FYI- Butt sex isn't sex.
It's funny because there are people that are actually serious about that. I dated a girl in college and we had been seeing each other for about a month...we were getting pretty hot and heavy back at my apartment and she stopped me and told me there was something I should know...I couldn't have sex with her because she was a virgin and saving herself for marriage. I was a little taken back and probably had a funny look on my face because then she was like, "it's ok though...we can do other stuff...I give pretty good head and you can put it in my butt...but my vagina is off limits."
Odd that the vagina is sacred but the booty is fair play...
Did you marry her, though?
Lol...no...she ended up being kind of a weirdo.
Not surprising. Her logic is weird.
I have a friend who teaches highschool at a private Christian school...he tells me that this kind of logic isn't all that uncommon...weird.1 -
NorthCascades wrote: »NorthCascades wrote: »I swear couples should have a checklist on compatibility before they make this commitment. Everyone has an idea of what manner and frequency they think is normal, which may no be normal or simply bat *kitten* crazy to another.
When one partner is in the mood and the other isn't, how does the couple resolve that? Whoever isn't feeling it has ultimate veto power? One of them has to do their duty? Schedule intercourse ahead of time to take the anxiety and guesswork (and spontaneity) out of it?
I think this is exactly the kind of thing a checklist can't work for, because of "unknown unknowns" as Rummy put it.
I've heard guys don't like it if you just "do your duty" because they can tell you're not into it and that makes it not fun to do.
Depends on the guy. And the lady. If you're not into it but do it anyway, he might take it as a gift of love and be heartwarmed; he might be hurt that you aren't into him at that moment; he might want to but not because he thinks it would be wrong. Plus there are also different kinds of not into it, from "I want space now" to "sex isn't what I had in mind but doesn't sound bad either" and his guess about which one it is might influence his reaction.
Every couple has mismatched libidos. Our sex drives wax and wane like the moon, and they're individual things on top of it. Depending how important sex is to each partner, that can cause a lot of stress in a relationship. Or not. I think how people approach these things is a lot more important than just how often.
This is the thing that terrifies me.0 -
Hail from a culture where virginity is upheld. Kinda hypocritical when the "first rights" can be claimed by any of your spouse's senior male relatives (by blood/position).
At 13 when we're walked through the "birds and the bees" talk at school addressed by the "Tampon Lady" and the school shrink, I saw sex as it was, separate and set apart from my culture. During Christmas that year my mum shared with us that we may want to follow the route her friends took, which is save the front (for culture ) and offer the butt along with everything else or partial entry ( only if we trust the guy to not go all in - breaking the hymen). Preservation of virginity is important for cultures like mine, because within the 4 days you+spouse copulate, the public (his people + your people) await the results ... The more dominant in bed spouse vs the woman's blood stain on tribal cloth as proof of chastity until consummation.
Naturally, I have lived a life negating this practice. Refused to shame myself or my betrothed with marriage bed crashers or have any children we would have had - their paternity questioned. Opting out was a better solution to a revirgination(hymenoplasty) surgery. Both my sis and I have friends who have gone through it for the cultural marriages - we're not of the same ethnic backgrounds. Same rules of virginity applied.
Tldr: Sex before marriage? Yes.
ETA: For us, the suggestion of butt sex is so that the woman gets to enjoy sex with a man who may/most likely cares/respects her more than the prospective husband. Memory of "joy having sex". Your chosen VS the ine chosen for you.2 -
NorthCascades wrote: »NorthCascades wrote: »I swear couples should have a checklist on compatibility before they make this commitment. Everyone has an idea of what manner and frequency they think is normal, which may no be normal or simply bat *kitten* crazy to another.
When one partner is in the mood and the other isn't, how does the couple resolve that? Whoever isn't feeling it has ultimate veto power? One of them has to do their duty? Schedule intercourse ahead of time to take the anxiety and guesswork (and spontaneity) out of it?
I think this is exactly the kind of thing a checklist can't work for, because of "unknown unknowns" as Rummy put it.
I've heard guys don't like it if you just "do your duty" because they can tell you're not into it and that makes it not fun to do.
Depends on the guy. And the lady. If you're not into it but do it anyway, he might take it as a gift of love and be heartwarmed; he might be hurt that you aren't into him at that moment; he might want to but not because he thinks it would be wrong. Plus there are also different kinds of not into it, from "I want space now" to "sex isn't what I had in mind but doesn't sound bad either" and his guess about which one it is might influence his reaction.
Every couple has mismatched libidos. Our sex drives wax and wane like the moon, and they're individual things on top of it. Depending how important sex is to each partner, that can cause a lot of stress in a relationship. Or not. I think how people approach these things is a lot more important than just how often.
This is the thing that terrifies me.
Don't be terrified. Be open to talking about your needs and desires (or lack of them). Communication goes a long way toward finding an acceptable balance. And while I have no data to back this up, my personal experience has been that libidos fall along a bell curve - there's a very few people who want it all the time, a very few people who don't want it at all, and a bunch of people who want it often enough that their sex drives aren't *that* different and they can work through the disparities.0 -
cgreen120288 wrote: »Swear I have the look of a pug about me ❤️
Ssshhh!!! Don't be sayin that. My pug lust is real0
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