My daughter scoffed at...

leanjogreen18 · December 2016

my 125 lb goal weight.

I'm 5'4" 50 and I have 75 lbs to still lose. She seemed to indicate that my goal weight was way too low for me. It's in the middle of the bmi chart and I haven't weighed that since I was in my early 30s. She thinks at my age I would have trouble getting down that low and suggested I set it closer to the upper bmi her recommendation was 140.

If it matters my daughter is 5'5 approx 120 and a marathoner and does crossfit. She doesn't count calories just watches her weight with a 5 lb range.

Is she right is 125 an unrealistic goal for my age?

ETA - she wasn't mean about it just sincerely concerned that I have my expectations up too high.

graceanthony19 · December 2016

Its really what feels best for you. My 'normal' BMI says I can go as low as 115!!! I would look horrible at 115. I know that, for me, I start to not like how it looks once I get any lower than about 135.

kenyonhaff · December 2016

Well, you have a long way to go...and I think she's just concerned that you may get discouraged if you set your sights too high. It's harder to lose weight as we...well, mature...but impossible, no.

robininfl · December 2016

NO. This is not unrealistic. I am nearly 49, 5'9" and have no trouble maintaining 135ish.

My mom is over 70, 5'4" and maintains under 140, this is heavyish for her but she feels good at that weight.

There's no reason to prematurely decide you can't or shouldn't be some weight or other.

Just work out, eat moderately and see where you land. You know you still want to lose weight, see how you like 140 then if it's not right keep going. Really, you don't have to decide today what you want to end up weighing.

But hard no to telling you 125 at 5'4" is unrealistic based on age. It's not.

rainbowbow · December 2016

This is not unrealistic.

She may just be used to you being larger.

This is a perfectly healthy weight for your height, so once you've gotten into a healthy BMI you can evaluate where you look and feel your best. If you want to start now with the "goal" of 125, that's perfectly fine and can be adjusted later!

nutmegoreo · December 2016

I don't think it's unrealistic. Just be open to the idea that as you approach it, you may feel content elsewhere. Personally, my goal is the top of my BMI, but I intend to be fluid with it. Where ever you feel comfortable, sounds about right.

bbell1985 · December 2016

Not unrealistic. It depends on your body as well. I'm 5'4" and feel super tiny around 128. I'm 148 at the moment and think that looks alright too. You can decide as you go.

kgirlhart · December 2016

I'm 48, 5'4.75" and 128. My goal was actually 135 but I unintentionally have gone lower and I don't think it is too low. I don't think your goal is unrealistic. But like others have said you may change it as you go. If you really like how you look and feel at 140 then you might want to stay there. But if you want to go to 125 then there is no reason you can't achieve that.

leanjogreen18 · December 2016

Thank you all. I was feeling just a little down after talking to her today but now I'm feeling much better!!!

ETA - not really down but just maybe needed reassurance that I wasn't being unrealistic. Thanks again!

ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken · December 2016

You just might not like it when you arrive at 125. The good news is you can gain back if you prefer to do so. The way our bodies change sometimes means we may like our weight of 30 years ago less on our older frame. Just take it as you go. You may arrive at 130 or greater and feel that it looks and feels better than 125. Time will tell.

spzjlb · December 2016

Well I lost 30 lbs when I was 50. I'm now 52, still at 125 and am also 5'4". I'm no anomaly! You can surely do it.

GottaBurnEmAll · December 2016

By all rights, I should be 5'3", but my discs have degenerated and given me scoliosis, so I measure 5'1". Anyway, I'm 54, and weigh 116. I started losing weight when I was 52. I was 210 pounds.

I don't think you're being unrealistic at all.

JeromeBarry1 · December 2016

At 5'4", 125 is a healthy weight. Americans tend to think that healthy is too little. Maybe it's just projection.

leanjogreen18 · December 2016

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

At 5'4", 125 is a healthy weight. Americans tend to think that healthy is too little. Maybe it's just projection.

She doesn't disagree its a healthy weight, she thinks as a 50 yr old with 75 more lbs to lose that its an unrealistic goal. But as some have mentioned here it is not so I'm still shooting for it:).

Sued0nim · December 2016

It's a goal...you head downwards and reassess as you get closer and you watch your body change

You smile and nod at daughter

Kids, they know everything don't they

kami3006 · December 2016

Sued0nim wrote: »

It's a goal...you head downwards and reassess as you get closer and you watch your body change

You smile and nod at daughter

Kids, they know everything don't they

Yes, sounds like the typical young person who hasn't quite learned that 50 is not old.

ninerbuff · December 2016

leanjogreen18 wrote: »

my 125 lb goal weight.

I'm 5'4" 50 and I have 75 lbs to still lose. She seemed to indicate that my goal weight was way too low for me. It's in the middle of the bmi chart and I haven't weighed that since I was in my early 30s. She thinks at my age I would have trouble getting down that low and suggested I set it closer to the upper bmi her recommendation was 140.

If it matters my daughter is 5'5 approx 120 and a marathoner and does crossfit. She doesn't count calories just watches her weight with a 5 lb range.

Is she right is 125 an unrealistic goal for my age?

ETA - she wasn't mean about it just sincerely concerned that I have my expectations up too high.

One of my clients at 55 and 5'3 got down to 111lbs for a contest and is now at 115lbs.............with abs.
Mind you, she had to work really hard for it and genetics played a part too as showing defined abs for females isn't an easy thing to do.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

AnnPT77 · December 2016

At 5'5" and age 59/60, I got down to 120 without undue difficulty, losing 63 pounds. It took about 10-11 months, losing more quickly at first, but slowly at the end. In fact, I overshot goal and hit 116, so had to work my way back up a little.

Whether 125 is the right weight for you is up to you, but you can assess that much more easily when it gets closer. Many things enter into that decision: Ease of attaining, ease of maintaining, body type, how you feel, health markers (blood pressure, blood lipids, etc.), appearance preferences, and more.

Absent symptoms of body dysmorphia, no one should need to tell you. You'll know.

dutchandkiwi · December 2016

Not unrealistic at all. I am now entering the middle part of my BMI. I am 48 and 1.60m (about 5"3)
I am taking the slow route and it has taken me nearly 3 years to get here. Conscious choice, it does not matter to me that it takes longer. I enjoy the ride.
I adjusted my goal weight several times. I am now on my fourth goal. Working my way down into effectively uncharted territory - I am now at a weight that I was at 18. Not been lower than that as an adult.

What weight it right for you is for you to decide - not anybody else. It may be out of concern, but chances are she did not know you really at your goal weight and therefore has no insight as to why that point may be important to you

LivingtheLeanDream · December 2016

When you get a bit closer to your goal you might feel differently, you'll know yourself when you get to a certain weight and are happy with how you look, in the mean time just keep on losing.

I'm 2 inches shorter and maintain at 126-128lb and am very slim (I wear a UK size 8/10) - I'm in my late 40s now. In my teens/early 20s I was averaging 120lbs yet I'm two dress sizes smaller now than I was then.... having lots of muscle tone accounts for me being smaller in size. So the weight on the scale isn't everything

trigden1991 · December 2016

This highlights exactly why I never discuss weight loss, diet or fitness with people. You focus on your goals and let other people do their own thing.

courtcassiefit · December 2016

I'm 5'5 and 179lbs... started at 225. I used to say that 125 was the best weight for me as well! The more I've lost the more I realized that 140ish is going to be perfect for me. We all have different goals and everybody is different. Just go with how you feel! x

PennWalker · December 2016

leanjogreen18 wrote: »

my 125 lb goal weight.

I'm 5'4" 50 and I have 75 lbs to still lose. She seemed to indicate that my goal weight was way too low for me. It's in the middle of the bmi chart and I haven't weighed that since I was in my early 30s. She thinks at my age I would have trouble getting down that low and suggested I set it closer to the upper bmi her recommendation was 140.

I got mad about the age comment. I see so many age putdowns and age excuses around weight. I also believe these age beliefs are part of our culture.

You will lose weight if you eat fewer calories than you burn, no matter what your age. I am over 50 and went from obese to normal and it was not that hard. If I can do it, anybody can.

Everybody has an opinion. I've found it's better not to talk about your weight loss efforts. If people ask what weight you want to be, you could say, "When I'm healthy" or "I'm following my doctor's guidelines" or "That's personal."

Your daughter is second-guessing you and taking the joy out of your sails. Ignore her and make your own decision. You could even leave your goal weight open and decide when you get there or even decide over time. Just be happy. You are doing something wonderful. Best wishes to you.

leanjogreen18 · December 2016

Thanks all.

I don't discuss my weight loss with anyone except my husband, daughter and daughter in law who are all very supportive. I honestly think she was well meaning just uninformed about the reality of CICO as she manages her weight intuitively and doesn't count calories.

I did have doubts but I've learned to come here on those occasions:). Plus I had no real reason for selecting 125 other that it being middle of bmi chart so to be honest I wasn't even sure if it was attainable but now I know it is and I will see when I get close.

amusedmonkey · December 2016

I can understand your daughter's concern. She loves you and would hate to see you frustrated or disappointed because the last few pounds are often stubborn and slow, especially with years since you would have lower calorie needs. It's not impossible, though, or even hard to achieve. Take her comment as a gesture of love, and then do your own thing aiming for any healthy number you like.

CMNVA · December 2016

No, I think 125 lbs sounds about right. I'm 52, 5'7" and just hit 140 lbs and I seem to be able to keep going. My 71 year old mother lost 40 lbs and is down in the 130s (she is also 5'7"). She eats right, goes the gym, etc. It can be done. But, I will say, at age 50, you probably should spend more time then you ever have trying to build muscle. That's what I'm trying to do next. You'll fine that age 50 and 125 lbs and age 30 at 125 lbs is quite a different look due to loss of muscle mass.

DietVanillaCoke · December 2016

I'm sure she was only saying it because she didn't want you to be upset at how hard it might be. That being said, go for it!

I think it completely depends on what you want and how you feel when you get down to each weight. I got down to 155 and i had abs at 5'3. All the weight was on my legs and chest and I did a LOAD of lifting but i decided to not lose anymore as i was happy there. My goal was 120lbs. BMI would suggest i was overweight but i didn't care because i was healthy, strong and no longer obese =D

Your goal isn't unrealistic and it's not unhealthy. Keep aiming for it and you might be happy at a higher weight, or you might be happy at 125lbs

it's all a mystery until you get there! =D Good luck, don't let her words get you down.

Sumiblue · December 2016

That goal seems totally appropriate. Age has nothing to do with it. I will be 48 in March. I got down to 114 this past Spring. Now, maintaining at 118-120 lbs-I'm 5'2".
Make your goal happen by being realistic. Don't do crash diets, set your deficit at a reasonable rate so you won't be starving and then end up binging. Do exercise you enjoy and do it consistently. Nutrition is key. Get enough protein so you don't lose muscle-you will look better when you reach goal.
Prove your daughter wrong-you can do it!

nxd10 · December 2016

I started losing weight in my 50's. I only needed to lose 40 pounds to get to my college weight (middle of health BMI but I'm quite tall and it looks very slim on me). I never thought I could. It was not hard. I have maintained 4 years. It takes persistence. It is not rocket science. You can do it. It is SO worth it. My only regret is not doing it earlier.

ActiveLulo · December 2016

Hey that's my height and weight haha!!
I agree with doing what feels good and looks right for you. I'd just keep in mind that once you get to a weight to maintain, consider changing/upping it a few pounds every like, 5-10 years past 50. My grandma was very young when she got sick and lost a lot of weight she couldn't afford to lose. On the other hand you may choose to lower it because of how your body changes or different activity levels, etc.
All these 'older' folks doing well with their fitness plans gives me hope--I've been trying on and off for years and thought if I didn't get into it before college was done, it'd never happen. Thanks for sharing your stories.

chocolate_owl · December 2016

My mom got down to the smallest she had been since high school at age 54, and she wasn't counting calories or on a consistent exercise regime. If she can do it by more or less winging it, you can DEFINITELY do it with everything you know from hanging around here

And of course, the number on the scale is pretty arbitrary. You'll get a to a point where you're happy with your body, and if that happens to be 125 lbs, cool. If not, well, you're happy with your body. So keep at it!

My daughter scoffed at...

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