how do you control yourself?

Will power. Git some!!! Just like you build muscle, or endurance while on this journey, you must also learn to build your will power. You should be in control, not the food.

You can not deny yourself things you enjoy or you will do just what you are describing! Eat the things you enjoy from time to time but do it within reason! When we go to the olive garden for instance, I think ahead, and I look up the restaurant and look at the calories, deciding what I want to get. I might get the Ziti but only eat half of it, have a portion of salad and then I alot myself one breadstick. With a good work out, this is not a problem. You just have to adjust and sometimes log your dinner ahead of time so you know what you have left for calories for the rest of the day. This is supposed to be a life style change, not a diet...eat the way you are going to want to eat when you are your goal weight.

Try to look at the nutrition for where you are going before you go - Decide on a meal and stick with it - you never know, you might try a different, healthier option and find you like it just as much or better than your old go to favorite - I have honestly found this to be true at a few favorite places of mine!

As for the workout - I bought a stationary bike - put it in front of the tv. It just glares at me when I want to just be lazy until I realize - I can watch TV and get my workout, just crank up the volume a little and start pedaling - before you know it you've completed a 30 minute or longer workout!

I control myself by planning ahead, and knowing my limit. If I know that we are going out on Friday night, I'll think about what I'll order all day, so I'll be craving something healthy when it's dinner time. I'll think about what restaurant we're going to, and imagine the menu. I'll guess that they will probably have some great shrimp or seafood that I could get grilled, or a fantastic roasted chicken entree, or even a petite sirloin steak.. by the time I'm at the restaurant, I'm searching the menu for the tasty shrimp I've been craving all afternoon! If I get a steak, I ask that they sub out the baked potato for greens or green beans or other vegetables.

I also research the calorie content of the options that I"m looking forward to, so I'll be able "save up" calories by skipping a snack in order to not go over my calorie limit for the day.

Chew a piece of strong flavored, sugar free Gum while you order and then as soon as you are done. The flavor of the gum takes away the need to eat more.

You just gotta want to reach your goals more than you want that food.

EXACTLY!!! This is why some days I'm hard core, I'm not going to eat those fries, etc....

Then I slack and I'm like to heck with it, I'm gonna eat that HUGE piece of cake.

Then, I realize I fell off the wagon I bit and get hard core again.

I think I'll always be this way. I don't really have any suggestions for you, but once you decide you want it badly enough, you'll make the change.

I guess you have really pinpointed what the difference is between people who are already slim versus those of us who have to work at it! It isn't easy and it really is about taking things one step at a time- which it sounds like you are, if you have eradicated unhealthy food from your house and now you are just struggling when you go out for dinner you are getting down to the nitty gritty!

Choosing healthy options in a restaurant is challenging at the best of times because it doesn't always feel like a 'treat' if you are ordering a chicken salad! What I do is make myself a trade-off, if I am going out I usually try and steer clear of heavy carb foods and focus on meat and veggies, i also love seafood which helps as it is already low in cals. From there I make a choice between whether I am going to have wine with my meal or have a dessert, but not both- in one fell swoop I can take 400-500 cals off my meal. It does take will power to watch the rest of the table have dessert when you aren't but that is usually where a cup of tea or coffee can give you something to sip! The same strategy works if you are going fast food which sometimes is inevitable, I usually have a hamburger but then bypass the fries

As for exercise it makes it so much easier to do it if you actually enjoy it! If you like dancing try zumba! If you like music get into an aerobics class. Do you have a dog that would love to be walked or an old bike in your shed that you used to ride? Try everything and anything that counts as exercise until you find something you actually like! In my early days of exercise I used to go for a walk everyday after work but I hated it, I just felt so bored so I started calling my friends while I was walking. I used to march down the road on my handsfree kit blabbering away to a friend and the time flew by!

Good luck :happy:

Totally agree, this site has given me the motivtion to lose a few pounds. It's like a game...if you are competitive and want to win the calorie counter becomes the referee of a "good day".

Simply put i have trouble with control. I want to eat certain foods when my husband takes me out. I have no willpower when it comes to this. I've been trying to do better, eat smaller protions bring some home type thing, but when it comes time to order, i want what stuck in my mind not the healthy item.

When i eat at home its no junk limited pasta some rice and very little meat (tuna mostly) so i feel like i could eat the world of bad stuff when it so freely offers itself to me!!!
Don't get me wrong i don't eat out alot when i do its fast food which is horrid too, but restaurants are like my bane!!
I have very little will to workout too!! But i want to lose weight!!!

So again how do you control yourself???

Save calories by splitting entree with your husband. Same with dessert. Try not to eat fried.

I think this is a difficult thing to deal with for all of us. In the end you just have to tell yourself that there will be plenty of opportunities to have that food later on, but right now you can't afford the calories if you want to reach your goals. That food will be around another day when you have the wiggle room for it.
I know I can't cut out bad things entirely without feeling too deprived, so when I DO decide to let myself have them I do it in a smart way so it screws me up as little as possible. If you REALLY want something 'naughty' have it but a small amount, then make most of your meal something healthy. When I go out I will allow myself to share a 'bad' appetizer and then have a healthier entree. If you want an unhealthy entree, order a half-size portion and make the rest of your meal (and day) as healthy as possible.
And I agree that looking things up before putting them in your mouth does WONDERS for your self control!! Once you see that the entree you've got your eye on is really over half of your daily calories you start to think twice whether you really want it. Same for sodas - do I REALLY want my tummy to be rumbling because I used the calories for my snack on a soda?
Also, try not to be too hard on yourself when you slip up. Just try to learn from your mistakes and pay attention to what factors led to that loss of self-control, so you can realize what will set you off next time and change it.... That will get you farther than belittling yourself and feeling guilty.