Well that was discouraging...
So this morning I was packing gym bag for a workout later (if I feel well enough, I've been sick for the past two days,) and my husband made the comment of "...So what? You've only been going for a week. Talk to me when you've been going for 365 days."
What?! Okay, I'm sorry.
How hurtful.
I'm trying to change myself, and be happy with myself.
What?! Okay, I'm sorry.
How hurtful.
I'm trying to change myself, and be happy with myself.
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Replies
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I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm pretty sure a pretty good majority of us would agree that that was a douche thing to say. You're doing an amazing job, and, as the old cliche goes, everyone has to start somewhere! I know it's hard, but just ignore him, and use his words to fuel your awesome workout
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Ugh. People can be so duh sometimes. Specially our guys. They don't mean to be though, they just aren't as swift as we'd like them to be. Brush it off, keep working on you. In 360 days, you can laff in his face, while wiggling your nicely shaped little butt at him! xo2
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Do what my wife does. Take scissors and cut one of his favourite ties into two and yell "f you".
What he said, that will prolly help you feel better too!! Just make sure it's a tie!2 -
Seriously though, who goes to the gym 365 days a year? I'm curious. That wasn't very nice of him. Dunk his toothbrush in the toilet, just one time.
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First off, going 365 days out of the year is not that healthy. Going 5-6x week is acceptable, but your body needs rest. Secondly, not everyone around you is going to be supportive. It's unfortunate, but it's a way of life. My S.O. is focused on work, so he rarely makes it to the gym. You have to be your own motivation and encouragement. It is tough, but that's what MFP is for! When your S.O. sees progress, he will definitely become more motivational.0
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You have two choices:
1. Tell him he hurt your feelings and that you're trying your best.
2. Or don't communicate, post a topic in the MFP chit-chat forum so that you can "vent".9 -
JustMissTracy wrote: »Ugh. People can be so duh sometimes. Specially our guys. They don't mean to be though, they just aren't as swift as we'd like them to be. Brush it off, keep working on you. In 360 days, you can laff in his face, while wiggling your nicely shaped little butt at him! xo
I try to assume people are dumb instead of malicious. It makes me feel better about the world. Maybe the husband meant it reassuringly, maybe he was trying to tell he she doesn't need to stress missing the gym while sick, and it came out terribly wrong.5 -
NorthCascades wrote: »JustMissTracy wrote: »Ugh. People can be so duh sometimes. Specially our guys. They don't mean to be though, they just aren't as swift as we'd like them to be. Brush it off, keep working on you. In 360 days, you can laff in his face, while wiggling your nicely shaped little butt at him! xo
I try to assume people are dumb instead of malicious. It makes me feel better about the world. Maybe the husband meant it reassuringly, maybe he was trying to tell he she doesn't need to stress missing the gym while sick, and it came out terribly wrong.
Some people are into tough love, maybe that's the type of motivation they need and that's the only way they know how to motivate. Yes, he still comes off as a jerk. So there *gentle pat on shoulder*.1 -
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So this morning I was packing gym bag for a workout later (if I feel well enough, I've been sick for the past two days,) and my husband made the comment of "...So what? You've only been going for a week. Talk to me when you've been going for 365 days."
What?! Okay, I'm sorry.
How hurtful.
I'm trying to change myself, and be happy with myself.
Just out of the blue? Or were you kind of whining about missing the gym for a couple of days?
On its own it is a confusing statement to make just seeing you pack a gym bag.
If you have been moaning about it then maybe it is his way of saying that you haven't made/lost any real progress yet in a week so don't worry so much and in a year you'll have great results.
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I'm sorry that happened to you. I would just prove him wrong.2
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You are right Gianna0
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_unsteady_ wrote: »Lemme guess this isnt the first time? The weekly gym going thing i mean
Actually, this is the first time I've ever been to the gym.0 -
So this morning I was packing gym bag for a workout later (if I feel well enough, I've been sick for the past two days,) and my husband made the comment of "...So what? You've only been going for a week. Talk to me when you've been going for 365 days."
What?! Okay, I'm sorry.
How hurtful.
I'm trying to change myself, and be happy with myself.
Just out of the blue? Or were you kind of whining about missing the gym for a couple of days?
On its own it is a confusing statement to make just seeing you pack a gym bag.
If you have been moaning about it then maybe it is his way of saying that you haven't made/lost any real progress yet in a week so don't worry so much and in a year you'll have great results.
Yes, I had missed a day because I was sick. So I was trying to get back on track.0 -
Yeah, sometimes dudes say dumb stuff. Brush it off and tell him to cook and clean for a week. See how long he lasts.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Omg! I'm so sorry. That's awful. Don't let it discourage you. Let it motivate you instead.0
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So this morning I was packing gym bag for a workout later (if I feel well enough, I've been sick for the past two days,) and my husband made the comment of "...So what? You've only been going for a week. Talk to me when you've been going for 365 days."
What?! Okay, I'm sorry.
How hurtful.
I'm trying to change myself, and be happy with myself.
Sorry, baby girl. I'm going to tell you something you really don't want to hear.
Many people will not encourage you. Some will even try to sabotage you. Comments, whether fat or slim will occur. Sometimes silence about reaching your goals.
And from the people who were complaining the loudest about it - you would think they'd be the most supportive, but no.
If you are serious about this, you have to do it for yourself, and ignore the noise. Don't let it get to you. You working toward a goal is threatening to people. Give them the grace to deal with their issues while you deal with yours.
Hint: Success board on MFP, thread "things they never tell you about losing weight." There are a lot of stories you should hear.
Wishing you the best.2 -
People say stupid and hurtful things. Guys do it, girls do it. It's crappy he said that to you no doubt. Hopefully it was something he will realize that was hurtful and apologize to you later about it. I've said things in the past that as soon as they left my mouth I went ... oh *kitten*.1
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Go like seven days straight, put on make up, do your hair, etc and then start telling him about this guy "Chad" you met at the gym has been really helpful and encouraging
I bet he'll regret that 365 comment! 7 -
Hungry_Angler wrote: »You have two choices:
1. Tell him he hurt your feelings and that you're trying your best.
2. Or don't communicate, post a topic in the MFP chit-chat forum so that you can "vent".
So much this. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. When you're calm, go to him and tell him you're working very hard to improve your health and to ultimately look good for him and that was really hurtful to you. Tell him he doesn't have to encourage you but it's hurtful and difficult when he says discouraging things.
You cannot control how he responds, but you can communicate to him how you feel. Take his response at face value and keep going forward with your workouts.2 -
Posting a lot of GIFs on this forum seems to be very therapeutic so you could also try that.3
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »So this morning I was packing gym bag for a workout later (if I feel well enough, I've been sick for the past two days,) and my husband made the comment of "...So what? You've only been going for a week. Talk to me when you've been going for 365 days."
What?! Okay, I'm sorry.
How hurtful.
I'm trying to change myself, and be happy with myself.
Sorry, baby girl. I'm going to tell you something you really don't want to hear.
Many people will not encourage you. Some will even try to sabotage you. Comments, whether fat or slim will occur. Sometimes silence about reaching your goals.
And from the people who were complaining the loudest about it - you would think they'd be the most supportive, but no.
If you are serious about this, you have to do it for yourself, and ignore the noise. Don't let it get to you. You working toward a goal is threatening to people. Give them the grace to deal with their issues while you deal with yours.
Hint: Success board on MFP, thread "things they never tell you about losing weight." There are a lot of stories you should hear.
Wishing you the best.
Yep, my husband will bring cookies and chocolate to bed and stick them right in my face or put his face real close to mine and eat them. He is so rude, but I call him out for it and tell him how rude and what an @ss he is.2 -
My husband has said some very insensitive things at times to discourage me. As others have said, use it as motivation to prove him wrong. Sometimes they need to think before they speak.0
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So this morning I was packing gym bag for a workout later (if I feel well enough, I've been sick for the past two days,) and my husband made the comment of "...So what? You've only been going for a week. Talk to me when you've been going for 365 days."
What?! Okay, I'm sorry.
How hurtful.
I'm trying to change myself, and be happy with myself.
Time for a new hubby
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_unsteady_ wrote: »Lemme guess this isnt the first time? The weekly gym going thing i mean
Actually, this is the first time I've ever been to the gym.
congrats on making this step
* side note: hubby is intimidated. he's afraid of what you might become and the changes that come with it. that's his issue but it might become yours too. best of luck.
just remember,you can't out train a junk diet (I've tried; it doesn't work)
and.... what are you doing there?
imho; in this order:
diet
diet
diet
diet
weights
diet
diet
weights
diet
cardio (hiit)
diet
diet
diet
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LiftingLady5 wrote: »Hungry_Angler wrote: »Posting a lot of GIFs on this forum seems to be very therapeutic so you could also try that.
Also try composing some angry or humorous haikus in the haiku thread. It can also be quite cathartic.
The dress was too short
He told her it was just fine
Then kept dropping things3 -
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