I am too Fat to work out at the gym
chelepeaches
Posts: 6 Member
I walked into my gym yesterday with the intent of working out. As soon as I saw the equipment I froze. I inquired about a personal trainer from the front desk. Thinking that will help motivate me. But I just feel too huge to work out. I set a goal as I left the gym to lose 80 lbs before I start back in the gym. I am feeling that I have so much to lose and I am trying not to get discouraged or frustrated. But no one wants to see a morbidly obese person working out.
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Replies
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You have to do what works for you. That said, there are many threads about this kind of thing. Trust me, no one is looking, and if they are it's to admire you for working hard, no matter what your body shape or size.
There is some benefit to strength training while you're losing weight. If you don't want to go to the gym, there are tons of great free bodyweight only workouts you can do in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Good luck!23 -
While you don't need to work out to lose weight, or go to the gym at all, I guarantee you if you go back nobody will care what size you are. If they think anything, they'll be glad you're doing something to take care of your weight.15
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chelepeaches wrote: »I walked into my gym yesterday with the intent of working out. As soon as I saw the equipment I froze. I inquired about a personal trainer from the front desk. Thinking that will help motivate me. But I just feel too huge to work out. I set a goal as I left the gym to lose 80 lbs before I start back in the gym. I am feeling that I have so much to lose and I am trying not to get discouraged or frustrated. But no one wants to see a morbidly obese person working out.
That's simply not true. I've belonged to a couple of gyms, and I can assure you, people of all sizes were members there. I can also assure you that the other members there thought it was awesome that every single other person was there to work.
I remember when I first joined a gym, I was so impressed by this one very obese woman just killing it on the elliptical. The elliptical is my nemesis. I hate the thing, and feel horribly awkward on it. Not only that, I had no cardio endurance at that point.
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I get it. If you can get it done without the gym and you feel better that way, that's cool. But I will say, if you came to my gym I would be high fiving you every damn day. I love to see people changing their future.14
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I am a regular gym goer and weightlifter, and I would love to see you at the gym. It is so inspiring to me to see people overcome their fears and just find joy anyway they can. Trust me, I feel the same way when I'm working out next to an obvious fitness model! But I'll never reach my goals if I don't. Don't worry, the more you go, the more you will notice people of all ages, abilities, etc. My father lost his foot to an infection last year, and he has to lose weight (approx 50lbs) if he wants to survive. Getting him to go to the gym was hard, but I am so proud of him, and now he feels bad when he doesn't go. He's still doing baby steps, but who cares?11
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I disagree. I go to the gym 4 times a week, I lift weights, and I look pretty fit. So maybe if I was in your gym you might think I'm looking down on you? I sure wouldn't be. I'd be thinking, way to go, you've taken the first step on an amazing journey. I'd be thinking, I've been where you are. I'd be thinking, keep going, don't give up, you're worth this effort. I would be SO rooting for you.14
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Don't let what you think other people may think of you stop doing something good! What someone else thinks of you is their opinion and I have to say I felt similar when I joined my gym 11 months ago, but its an amazing feeling to see yourself get smaller at the gym, to use the equipment and I have never had anyone sneer at me or look down at me for being bigger in the gym!4
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »chelepeaches wrote: »I walked into my gym yesterday with the intent of working out. As soon as I saw the equipment I froze. I inquired about a personal trainer from the front desk. Thinking that will help motivate me. But I just feel too huge to work out. I set a goal as I left the gym to lose 80 lbs before I start back in the gym. I am feeling that I have so much to lose and I am trying not to get discouraged or frustrated. But no one wants to see a morbidly obese person working out.
That's simply not true. I've belonged to a couple of gyms, and I can assure you, people of all sizes were members there. I can also assure you that the other members there thought it was awesome that every single other person was there to work.
I remember when I first joined a gym, I was so impressed by this one very obese woman just killing it on the elliptical. The elliptical is my nemesis. I hate the thing, and feel horribly awkward on it. Not only that, I had no cardio endurance at that point.
I agree. I am actually impressed when I see people at gyms. It means the are willing to do something about their health. The one's I can't stand are the kids that hang out in the squat rack or those who don't use safety clips.
But working out at home is a viable option as well.6 -
I disagree. I go to the gym 4 times a week, I lift weights, and I look pretty fit. So maybe if I was in your gym you might think I'm looking down on you? I sure wouldn't be. I'd be thinking, way to go, you've taken the first step on an amazing journey. I'd be thinking, I've been where you are. I'd be thinking, keep going, don't give up, you're worth this effort. I would be SO rooting for you.
Yep, this^^4 -
I'm with the others, no one is paying attention to you and if they are, they are most likely cheering you on. I've had the same thoughts go through my head - especially when I started running. I put together a strategy of baby steps to work through that eventually got me through most of my anxiety.
Perhaps try the same thing? Figure out small steps you can take to get you comfortable going to the gym (without the big "I have to lose 80 lbs first")... while you don't have to go to a gym to lose weight, it does help you gain fitness and feel better overall... bonus: a few more calories you can eat after a workout
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I notice anyone who is new at my gym, but certainly don't pay too much attention other than that. I respect anyone who is there to put the work in.2
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You don't have to go to a gym to exercise or lose weight.
There are lots of free workouts on you tube or you can get dvd's. You can walk anywhere. You can invest in home exercise equipment.
You can lose weight without exercise. Just watch your calorie intake.2 -
Yesterday, I read this interview that Terry Crew's gave about getting started at the gym and his advice was good IMO:
"TREAT THE GYM LIKE A SPA.
Yes. It has to feel good. I tell people this a lot - go to the gym, and just sit there, and read a magazine, and then go home. And do this every day.
Go to the gym, don't even work out. Just GO. Because the habit of going to the gym is more important than the work out. Because it doesn't matter what you do. You can have fun - but as long as you're having fun, you continue to do it.
But what happens is you get a trainer, your whole body is sore, you can't feel your legs, and you're not coming back the next day - you might not come back for a year!
I worked my way up to 2 hours a day. I ENJOY my workouts. They are my peace, my joy - I get my whole head together! I value that time more than my shower! And it really gets me together. But it's a habit.
There are times when - I'm not even kidding - there are times when I"m in the middle of a work out, and actually woke up because i am so engrained with going to the gym and being there - it's that much of a habit to me. The first thing I do in the morning is work out - I lay out my workout clothes the night before, and just hop in 'em.
So lay out your clothes, and go to the gym, and relax.
HaAHAHAH!
But sooner or later, you WILL work out."
Find something that you like and do it, other people be damned. Whether that's working out at a traditional gym, a boutique gym/studio, doing workouts outside in the fresh air, or working out at home.
I belong to a traditional gym so I can weight train and a pole dance studio. Am I the best person in either location? Absolutely not. Do I let that stop me? Nope. I'll never meet my individual goals if I'm focused on what the person next to me is doing. You can use it as motivation, but don't let it hinder you from doing you.11 -
I can almost guarantee that you wouldn't be the only person in there that's feeling self conscious. It's daunting, you feel too big but there will be others who feel too small, too weak, too unfit, some of the machines look like you need a degree to work them etc etc.
I found that actually, no one pays much attention to what anyone else is doing, they are busy worrying about their own goals, like you are.
I understand your fear but would totally advocate booking that trainer, building your gym confidence, and not giving a monkeys what any one else thinks. If they've got energy to think about you - they should be working out harder! Best of luck to you.3 -
OP you go and do you. dont worry about anyone else. you are there for a purpose and if anyone is there looking down on you they have issues.if someone stares or looks at you funny just smile and wave. kill them with kindness.If I worried about what people thought about me every time I left the house to do something nothing would get done.If you want to go back go back and rock that gym and become the best you that you can be.2
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I know a little about what you speak, and I avoided jogging until it was dark out for the same reason until I realized that I was doing this for me, and I really need to stop worrying about other peoples feelings or my perceived insecurities (that for the most part are not really true).
My first trip to the gym was super intimidating and I kind of avoided eye contact, found a simple exercise bike and just did my thing. A pretty safe place to get things started. Comfort levels eventually rose and I started trying different things, now I can't believe I ever dreaded the place and wish I would have started earlier.
I do think it is true that most people are doing their own thing and the insecurities that you are feeling are really unfounded but that doesn't make them any less real.
Going to the gym is not a requirement, and if you truly hate the experience it may not be for you now. Keep pushing forward and maybe one day you will feel like you are ready.
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Thanks for all your comments! I read every one and I still have tears. I will do this. Tomorrow while my daughter swims, I will walk on the treadmill as long as I can. Baby steps. Today I will take her to a trampoline park- she will not have my issues!53
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All these people are right, of course. That said, I know how you're feeling, and my solution was to (1) invest in a treadmill and hand weights so I could exercise in the privacy of my own home; and (2) in nicer weather, walk outside on paths in the woods where I see very few people. Sometimes I find that accommodating my insecurities gets better results than trying to fight through them. Hopefully I get to a better place at some point and just get over myself, but in the meantime, this has worked for me.5
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chelepeaches wrote: »Thanks for all your comments! I read every one and I still have tears. I will do this. Tomorrow while my daughter swims, I will walk on the treadmill as long as I can. Baby steps. Today I will take her to a trampoline park- she will not have my issues!
Yay!
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chelepeaches wrote: »I walked into my gym yesterday with the intent of working out. As soon as I saw the equipment I froze. I inquired about a personal trainer from the front desk. Thinking that will help motivate me. But I just feel too huge to work out. I set a goal as I left the gym to lose 80 lbs before I start back in the gym. I am feeling that I have so much to lose and I am trying not to get discouraged or frustrated. But no one wants to see a morbidly obese person working out.
I was 5-7 and 320 when I started working out at the gym. I was terrified at first, but found after a while that people really aren't paying attention to much beyond their own workout. In addition, as the months and years went on, I found that it was a great place to socialize. Ultimately, many of the people I expected to judge or laugh were the ones who would say things like "You're doing great," or "You're lifting so much more than when you started," just little things that make you feel better about yourself.
Anybody who says anything negative, laughs, etc., can go *kitten* themselves. They've got a lot bigger issues than looking good.2 -
chelepeaches wrote: »I walked into my gym yesterday with the intent of working out. As soon as I saw the equipment I froze. I inquired about a personal trainer from the front desk. Thinking that will help motivate me. But I just feel too huge to work out. I set a goal as I left the gym to lose 80 lbs before I start back in the gym. I am feeling that I have so much to lose and I am trying not to get discouraged or frustrated. But no one wants to see a morbidly obese person working out.
I know that feeling and I am only slightly overweight. For some reason, I experience a lot of anxiety about working out around other people. I don't think that will ever change for me even if I get in great shape.
I just have to force myself to do it. As long as nobody talks to me, I am fine. Haha.2 -
It takes courage to go, so congrats for your attempt! We are at are most vulnerable in workout gear with unfamiliar equipment. After the first few days, the others get to know and accept you, and eventually become your friends. In short, you got over the hardest, scariest visit. Keep your head up and keep at it!
(When I first started (scary scary) classes, I could barely shuffle (not chassee), could not jump, and forget skipping! But I got over that.)
Good luck!3 -
It gets less scary the more you go and find a routine you can get comfortable with. I recommend setting up a small nautilus circuit with one of the staff. They should show you how to use the machines as part of the membership without the expense of a personal trainer. Some gyms have an area where there are a group of machines away from the main area. In my case, there was a set of older machines towards the back of the gym away from the crowds. It worked out great. It was my own little private oasis. I like the spa mentality of the previous post. After my workout I treated myself to a hot sauna. Different gyms also have different vibes.1
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I am responding to the OP, without reading any responses.
"I'm too obese to work out at the gym" is a perfectly good excuse. Use it in bad health.
The first thing to be aware of is that paying money to a gym is only going to help the gym company. The work of exercise has to be done for you by you.
The second thing to be aware of is that exercise of any formally structured variety is not necessary to lose weight.
You can lose weight. Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Count your calories accurately. Log your food intake completely. Enjoy to ride.
Now I have read the responses so far.
The simple fact that @chelepeaches has returned to her discussion and said something self-respecting is good progress. Kick *kitten*, chick.1 -
This is the perfect time of year to start going if you're a little bit intimidated, because I can all but guarantee that you won't be the only new person there so you'll blend right in. If they even notice you (they probably won't), the majority of people may think "that's a new person I haven't seen here before" and then go right back to thinking about themselves.
Please don't freak out if you notice people noticing you. I have a terrible habit of zoning out and accidentally watching people, but it's never actually about them. It's because I'm resting and thinking about my next set, and something's moving in my field of vision and I unconsciously follow the motion. It's slightly embarrassing when I get caught, but I wasn't ever actually processing any of the information.6 -
chelepeaches wrote: »I walked into my gym yesterday with the intent of working out. As soon as I saw the equipment I froze. I inquired about a personal trainer from the front desk. Thinking that will help motivate me. But I just feel too huge to work out. I set a goal as I left the gym to lose 80 lbs before I start back in the gym. I am feeling that I have so much to lose and I am trying not to get discouraged or frustrated. But no one wants to see a morbidly obese person working out.
I promise you, most people are too busy worrying about themselves to notice you. You left because you chickened out, not because other people didn't want to see you. You have to get over that and develop the "I don't give a *** attitude, I'm gonna go work out!"
I think starting with a trainer is a good idea, they'll show you around the gym and show you what good exercises would be to start with. Even if you just go to the gym and do 20 mins on a cardio machine every day, it can't hurt! You'll train yourself to get into the habit of going to the gym, which can be a huge hurdle itself.
You can do it, you just need to get out of your own head first. Good luck!1 -
I used to get super scared too, but honestly I'm happy I went and now keep going regularly because regardless of how I look, I feel better inside. Everyone is paying attention to themselves and nobody is looking at anything but their weights, their miles run, or their own physical progress. You got this, chica! Start off slow and build yourself up.1
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Who cares what other people do or don't want to see? They can look the other way if they don't like it. I started running 90 pounds ago--outside, in broad daylight, where anybody could see me--and it was uncomfortable at first, until I realized that other runners were really supportive. All of the people I know who work out regularly have nothing but respect for newbies who are getting started on their fitness goals.2
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I'm lucky in that I bought a clothes rack a few years back when I tried to lose weight before and it has miraculously turned back into a treadmill, so I started walking on it in September and am down 55 lbs without stepping into a gym. I've since bought some dumbbells and am using them a couple times a week.
The thought of going to the gym is more demotivating for me than anything, so I'm doing it all at home. It may change one day, but it's not for me right now.
My suggestion is to start just walking and work on the food side of things. Maybe get a tracker and see how much you walk now and then try to increase the number of steps each week.3 -
chelepeaches wrote: »I walked into my gym yesterday with the intent of working out. As soon as I saw the equipment I froze. I inquired about a personal trainer from the front desk. Thinking that will help motivate me. But I just feel too huge to work out. I set a goal as I left the gym to lose 80 lbs before I start back in the gym. I am feeling that I have so much to lose and I am trying not to get discouraged or frustrated. But no one wants to see a morbidly obese person working out.
At the gym I go to we have members of all ages, shapes & sizes having said that you can lose weight without exercising or joining a gym, weight loss happens in your kitchen but a regular exercise program (whether it's walking, running, cycling or pumping iron or any combination thereof) will help you become fitter and healthier even if you didn't lose any weight.
Believe it or not you'll probably find that 90% of the folks you'll meet at a gym would be supportive and encouraging of your desire to lead a healthier life.
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