Can I get some people to help motivate me
f4istunter4
Posts: 3 Member
Hi guys not going to lie here. I have a sad story I'm 27 and only weigh 127. My heaviest weight was 162 but I was 19 and was in the gym everyday. Now my wife is wanting to leave me for guys more muscular than me. Can I have some people help push me to gain the weight and such. You help is much appreciated.
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If you need pushing, then you're really not wanting to do it. Motivation is internal. You can get all the inspiring, cheering on, etc, but if you really don't want to do it, it may not happen anyway.
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I get what your saying. I have the drive. I know I can do it. In one year I went from 118 to 162. All by sheer will power and encouragement from others. It's just that little bit of encouragement that helps keep one on track. I was getting it from my wife then girlfriend but now I get nothing but put down. Not sure how to put it in words lol. I guess just dig deep like I used to for paintball practice "which is when I gained the weight" and do it all over again.0
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Get rid of your wife and enjoy your life.12
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Is 127 lbs or kg, and yeah i can help you to gain weight, lean muscle mass, tell me what you eat all day, if you want you can text me also.0
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Due respect OP, you need counseling and help getting your priorities straight, not motivation.
Your marital problems are deeper than who has the most muscles. Seek professional help there. It just might be salvageable if you're willing to give it your all.
Your physical conditioning should be a priority whether you're in the land of milk and honey, or down in the valley. You need to take care of yourself regardless of what she is doing.
I would dare say your mental, emotional and spiritual health should be first though. Get help. Take care of sorting "Yourself" out first, and the rest will naturally fall in line, and things will look completely different to you once they do.
You cannot "Fix" her. You can do something about you. Go do it.2 -
f4istunter4 wrote: »Hi guys not going to lie here. I have a sad story I'm 27 and only weigh 127. My heaviest weight was 162 but I was 19 and was in the gym everyday. Now my wife is wanting to leave me for guys more muscular than me. Can I have some people help push me to gain the weight and such. You help is much appreciated.
Sorry, Bud,
If you wife wants to leave, let her leave. whats next for you if she stays, cosmetic surgery?
If you want to get bigger for you, there are motivation photo's, before/after photo's all over the internet1 -
Thanks cylphin your words seem to be what most of my friends are saying on the marriage part. I probably should have specified with where I wanted the help lol. Like in how I'm eating and gaining weight and muscle. I have already been able to do the one gallon of water a day thing. Only took 4 days and I have already felt so much better about myself on that. I guess I am looking for people to try and coach me along. Like say keep up the good work as I gain and keep me on track if I mess up. I just feel it's easier to tell ones story up front that way you don't have a ton of people going ok now why do you want this an so on. Thanks again. By the way I'm 127lbs not kg1
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For motivation watch "The Perfect Physique". You'd proabably relate to David Morin lol. Also, get a gym partner; someone that will hold you accountable to show up. But, most importantly freakin EAT!! I'm eating 4500 calories a day (500c/150f/300p) and barely increasing weight...right about 200lbs.0
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f4istunter4 wrote: »Thanks cylphin your words seem to be what most of my friends are saying on the marriage part. I probably should have specified with where I wanted the help lol. Like in how I'm eating and gaining weight and muscle. I have already been able to do the one gallon of water a day thing. Only took 4 days and I have already felt so much better about myself on that. I guess I am looking for people to try and coach me along. Like say keep up the good work as I gain and keep me on track if I mess up. I just feel it's easier to tell ones story up front that way you don't have a ton of people going ok now why do you want this an so on. Thanks again. By the way I'm 127lbs not kg
You're on the right path then
Just be patient and remember it's going to take time, but as someone new, you stand to make a lot of quick gains early on.
The workouts can also be a good stress relief from what you're dealing with. I know this from personal experience with my ex
There are some great threads here outlining ways to go from "new" to being well on your way.
Start with the "Most helpful posts" at the top of this forum. There are several excellent threads there for exactly what you're asking. Once you start to get a sense of where you're going with this and develop better, clearer goals, other questions will come up. Best of luck
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JoeMacCready wrote: »For motivation watch "The Perfect Physique". You'd proabably relate to David Morin lol. Also, get a gym partner; someone that will hold you accountable to show up. But, most importantly freakin EAT!! I'm eating 4500 calories a day (500c/150f/300p) and barely increasing weight...right about 200lbs.
Jeez! I'd burst lol!
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JoeMacCready wrote: »For motivation watch "The Perfect Physique". You'd proabably relate to David Morin lol. Also, get a gym partner; someone that will hold you accountable to show up. But, most importantly freakin EAT!! I'm eating 4500 calories a day (500c/150f/300p) and barely increasing weight...right about 200lbs.
Jeez! I'd burst lol!
Ya know what? I thought I would too! In hindsight I mustve been eating waaay below maintenance...I used to eat about 2750 cals.0 -
JoeMacCready wrote: »JoeMacCready wrote: »For motivation watch "The Perfect Physique". You'd proabably relate to David Morin lol. Also, get a gym partner; someone that will hold you accountable to show up. But, most importantly freakin EAT!! I'm eating 4500 calories a day (500c/150f/300p) and barely increasing weight...right about 200lbs.
Jeez! I'd burst lol!
Ya know what? I thought I would too! In hindsight I mustve been eating waaay below maintenance...I used to eat about 2750 cals.
I usually cap off a day around 1900ish or so, then again I'm not a large guy and am still slowly dropping a bit. All I can think though, is I would love to have the freedom that 4500 would bring lol. That's probably a matter of perspective too though...0 -
JoeMacCready wrote: »JoeMacCready wrote: »For motivation watch "The Perfect Physique". You'd proabably relate to David Morin lol. Also, get a gym partner; someone that will hold you accountable to show up. But, most importantly freakin EAT!! I'm eating 4500 calories a day (500c/150f/300p) and barely increasing weight...right about 200lbs.
Jeez! I'd burst lol!
Ya know what? I thought I would too! In hindsight I mustve been eating waaay below maintenance...I used to eat about 2750 cals.
I usually cap off a day around 1900ish or so, then again I'm not a large guy and am still slowly dropping a bit. All I can think though, is I would love to have the freedom that 4500 would bring lol. That's probably a matter of perspective too though...
It's nice but a bit of a struggle! I'm eating all. the. time. lol0 -
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_benjammin wrote: »
I agree. He has it backwards; motivation is external, inspiration is internal.0 -
The most important thing is to be doing it for yourself (to be healthy, have more energy, improve your self-image). If you do it to gain the approval of another person or to "show them" that you can do it, then it will be a hollow victory. The power to define your "success" will be in another person's hands and not your own.
Both of my teenage sons are beanpoles and struggle to gain weight...I was the same way for many years and understand how frustrating it can be. If you need an "atta boy" on a rough day, just holler!0 -
Honesty there is only two things you need to decide
1 what weight do you want to be
2 do you really want a non supportive wife in your life (regardless of the weight you are)0 -
I very much agree.JoeMacCready wrote: »_benjammin wrote: »
I agree. He has it backwards; motivation is external, inspiration is internal.
Well saidThe most important thing is to be doing it for yourself (to be healthy, have more energy, improve your self-image). If you do it to gain the approval of another person or to "show them" that you can do it, then it will be a hollow victory. The power to define your "success" will be in another person's hands and not your own.
Both of my teenage sons are beanpoles and struggle to gain weight...I was the same way for many years and understand how frustrating it can be. If you need an "atta boy" on a rough day, just holler!
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Swap the gallon of water for a gallon of milk1
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That's why alcoholics, drug addicts and cigarette smokers fail many times. Everyone wants them to stop, but if the person doesn't want to, it ain't gonna happen, even if given all the correct information and the benefits, as well as supportive help, etc._benjammin wrote: »
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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People or idols inspire people to do things. If someone is truly motivated (internal), nothing stops them from achieving what they are shooting for. Look up any success book and you'll get it.JoeMacCready wrote: »_benjammin wrote: »
I agree. He has it backwards; motivation is external, inspiration is internal.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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@f4istunter4 - I sent you a friend request as well. Consistency is key - new methods will become habit after a time, and it's always good to have support when you log in. 0
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That's why alcoholics, drug addicts and cigarette smokers fail many times. Everyone wants them to stop, but if the person doesn't want to, it ain't gonna happen, even if given all the correct information and the benefits, as well as supportive help, etc._benjammin wrote: »
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Well, he did create a thread asking for help, and clarified exactly what he's looking for when approached about it. I think that counts as "Wants it." 2 -
DROP THE WIFE that's crazy man then enjoy life if you want to bulk do it if not don't it takes dedication and years to have a bulk physical appearance you can do it but YOU have to want it for YOU no one else0
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Lots of people "desire" to play the piano. Now are they really doing anything to achieve that or is it just talk? There's a difference. If someone REALLY wanted to play the piano, they go take piano lessons and practice everyday.
That's why alcoholics, drug addicts and cigarette smokers fail many times. Everyone wants them to stop, but if the person doesn't want to, it ain't gonna happen, even if given all the correct information and the benefits, as well as supportive help, etc._benjammin wrote: »
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Well, he did create a thread asking for help, and clarified exactly what he's looking for when approached about it. I think that counts as "Wants it."
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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When someone approaches you for coaching, do you give them a chance to show up for the first scheduled appointment or just assume they aren't going to?
Lots of people "desire" to play the piano. Now are they really doing anything to achieve that or is it just talk? There's a difference. If someone REALLY wanted to play the piano, they go take piano lessons and practice everyday.
That's why alcoholics, drug addicts and cigarette smokers fail many times. Everyone wants them to stop, but if the person doesn't want to, it ain't gonna happen, even if given all the correct information and the benefits, as well as supportive help, etc._benjammin wrote: »
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Well, he did create a thread asking for help, and clarified exactly what he's looking for when approached about it. I think that counts as "Wants it."
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
The man said he already started, yet he comes into this thread and sees reasons why that isn't good enough. That's not very motivating.
I'm satisfied with my take on this. I sent him a FR and he accepted, and I'll do what I can to support someone asking for help. Others are welcome to their own views on it.
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