Stress relief suggestions
zyxst
Posts: 9,148 Member
Got hit with a bomb last night that's triggered my stress levels through the roof (or so it feels). What I would do to relieve the stress I "can't" (I can do them, but they would start up either addiction cycles or gaining all my weight back) do any longer. Need some suggestions.
What works, but I "can't" do - eating, smoking, drinking, and self-harm.
What doesn't work - sex and exercise.
What I am doing - sitting on the bed in the dark and letting the rage stew, occasionally crying until I start suffocating from snot overload.
I've tried "meditation" (clearing my thoughts, thinking of "good", "calm" places/people). Rage always finds a way in.
ETA: Stupid kitten word replacement!
What works, but I "can't" do - eating, smoking, drinking, and self-harm.
What doesn't work - sex and exercise.
What I am doing - sitting on the bed in the dark and letting the rage stew, occasionally crying until I start suffocating from snot overload.
I've tried "meditation" (clearing my thoughts, thinking of "good", "calm" places/people). Rage always finds a way in.
ETA: Stupid kitten word replacement!
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Replies
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I was going to say boxing... But you said no exercise.
Is going somewhere else an option - spend the day either on your own or with someone you love, doing something fun/enjoyable?
And sending hugs... And tissues for the snot.1 -
Can you leave and go somewhere calming? Get out of your current environment? Beach, forest, aquarium, park? Just sitting in the quiet someplace "away" helps me. There are new things to look at and distract me from what's happening in my brain, and the nature washing over me is soothing. If it's cold, just bundle up and bring a hot drink.
I also find that journaling helps me. It changes from a rage-induced string of *kittens* into productive thought before too long.
I can hear your pain in your writing voice. I'm so sorry for whatever has happened.
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I take a drink called Natural Calm, works the second you swallow it. its wonderful. look it up.0
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If you have "faith", try praying.1
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Scream into a pillow
Go buy some cheap plates and break them
Make funny faces at yourself in the mirror
Grab a pen and paper and write cuss words until you feel better
Grab a pen and paper and write whatever comes to mind
Say cuss words repeatedly until you feel better
That's what I got1 -
Sorry hon--you're a vet on here too. I've followed your posts. Bad news takes time to stew. It's hard to recommend a strategy, but going to see a good movie, or reading a good book helps me. I also like to lick my wounds in private. Do you have anybody close that you can unload on? You need to get it out to heal. Go scream in the woods, until you can't anymore. That's all I can say, but hope you bounce back soon--you're strong and resilient. Best of luck.1
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There are different kinds of stress bombs. Is this an unfaithful spouse? A teen child in jail? A job loss? An employment rejection? A car wreck? These all have different best responses, and not all have perfect stress elimination techniques. You should not tell more detail than you have already, but try to think of a different problem and list your best response to the hypothetical. See if you can give yourself some ideas.1
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Shouting is good for rage!
For stress/distress - especially that which makes sleep impossible - I'd go for writing.
It depends on the source of stress but you could:
Write a reply (perhaps one you wish you could have given at the time)
or just explain what was wrong/ write it all down for yourself. Empty your head onto a page.
There is a discipline - a meditation - in doing this and selecting the right words/details. ( It is the only thing you can keep your mind on when the stress-level is so high.)
You can then put it in a box - for later consideration.
This helps - as the problem does not need to be in your head any more.1 -
http://samaritansnyc.org/calling-the-hotline/
Not in USA so I hope it's accessible if it's something that would help. If I felt like you, it's what I'd do.
ETA...the site and ph no is USA0 -
I second the Journal option. Sometimes the best way to work through anxiety ridden thoughts is to try to write them down and make it make sense to a stranger (the paper.) It works wonders for me, and it doesn't matter that my handwriting is total scribble.
Also, you said meditation doesn't work. Honestly, I'd like to know the person that can slip into meditation when they're so upset they're drowning in their own snot, crying...because they're clearly an alien. There are a lot of different types of meditation out there and some pretty good apps for iphone/android that do guided meditation. You could always try again when you're not so heightened.
I hope you feel better soon.0 -
Got hit with a bomb last night that's triggered my stress levels through the roof (or so it feels). What I would do to relieve the stress I "can't" (I can do them, but they would start up either addiction cycles or gaining all my weight back) do any longer. Need some suggestions.
What works, but I "can't" do - eating, smoking, drinking, and self-harm.
What doesn't work - sex and exercise.
What I am doing - sitting on the bed in the dark and letting the rage stew, occasionally crying until I start suffocating from snot overload.
I've tried "meditation" (clearing my thoughts, thinking of "good", "calm" places/people). Rage always finds a way in.
ETA: Stupid kitten word replacement!
Sorry your going through something, get our of the house, buy a journal if you do not have one and start writing, or start a blog on MFP . Sometimes it helps if we talk out our problems even to strangers. Thats kind of why I like mfp, you can be anonymous and talk.0 -
Yoga is awesome. Find a restorative class not a hot yoga or power yoga. Also going out into nature like a walk or a hike through the woods is great.1
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Maybe you can try crying? I know others suggested shouting, but sometimes a cathartic release through tears helps. I really hope things get better for you.
*hugs* 0 -
I have a friend who goes to Petsmart when she's stressed. Being able to pet some animals and check out others, besides the snakes, relaxes her on a stressful day.
Massage is another.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I like to take a shower - being able to wash the day away and start fresh helps.1
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Music...turn it on and just listen. Focus on the sound.
Enya. I used to not be a fan but I spent a year in very close proximity to an autistic man with a rage problem and Enya became my best friend. He could not be angry while listening to Enya. And my blood pressure (and brainwaves) dropped when we had her playing. I also make up lyrics as she sings because mostly, her songs are in gaelic, so I have no idea what she's saying. You could sing along with her about whatever suckage you're experiencing. Her gaelic version of Silent Night is pretty funny.
Listen to Jon Anderson (with Vangelis or Yes...other options too)...but then I LOVE JA. My fave/go to is Union (YES), but all of his stuff is awesome.
Read a book? Or listen to one on cd/cassette/mp3?1 -
I have actually found the kitten replacement to be so amusing, I'm applying it in real world...Hey, stop being such a kitten! Oh, Kitten! Don't be a jackitten! Kitten that with a stick! Laughing can help. Replacing swear words with kitten can be pretty funny and laughing is considered a great stress reliever.3
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talk it out to a friend, read a book, watch tv, sleep, adult coloring book, rock out/dance to music or do the exact opposite and try to be relaxed and smoothed by music, play a video game, try on clothes (new clothes you bought that you can be proud of and remind yourself of your progress!),1
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write down what is going right in your life, your blessings. I just keep logging my foods even if bad. Venting, which we on MFP will be glad to listen helps a lot!1
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I feel you. A lot of you who know me know it's been a rough fall. Nothing helps me either. People say "go to yogo" and I'm like "no thanks, go *kitten* yourself".
What helped me? A vacation (from work, not some crazy trip), and a little pill my friend gave me. Going to the doctors to see if I can get a prescription. I'm not letting stress rule me anymore.1 -
Got hit with a bomb last night that's triggered my stress levels through the roof (or so it feels). What I would do to relieve the stress I "can't" (I can do them, but they would start up either addiction cycles or gaining all my weight back) do any longer. Need some suggestions.
What works, but I "can't" do - eating, smoking, drinking, and self-harm.
What doesn't work - sex and exercise.
What I am doing - sitting on the bed in the dark and letting the rage stew, occasionally crying until I start suffocating from snot overload.
I've tried "meditation" (clearing my thoughts, thinking of "good", "calm" places/people). Rage always finds a way in.
ETA: Stupid kitten word replacement!
Stress management can be one of the hardest things in life at times. What triggers stress in all of us varies, but the end impact is often similar.
One of the things I've found that helped me through some very high stress times was slowing down to focus on what was right, rather than what was wrong. And the reason I quoted your post was to show that you are much more in control than you might see from your angle. You already know what doesn't work, as well as what you "can't" do. You are reaching out for input and help of some form, and you haven't given up. And though none of these things are helping you this second, you're taking all the right steps to resolve the issue.
Find a way to vent all of the details of the event that created this to a judgement free audience that will hear you out, regardless of where you find it. Vent every bit of that frustration. And then take some deep breaths, continue with your plan to help lessen or resolve the stress, and keep moving forward. If the situation warrants it, seek professional help.
I went through a period of stress levels that were just through the roof, and wasted a lot of time not fixing those things I could control, as well as just not accepting those things beyond my control. Being a hard headed older man I put off seeing a professional thinking I would fix it on my own. I could have easily added that mistake to the list of stress factors. But instead after seeking professional help I started trying to view the positive and move forward.
I sincerely hope things improve for you quickly, and after what I went through completely relate to how it impacts life. If you struggle to begin finding resolution on your own, reach out to whatever resources you have available.2 -
Thanks all for taking the time to respond.
I've got some inner strength/control somewhere in me. I wanted to go stuff my face with breadsticks. Didn't do it. I wanted to do self-harm. Came really close, but didn't. Up in Canada, the liquor and smokes are in a separate store, so I didn't have to walk through them while grocery shopping.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
The person I can talk to - my hubby - only gets more stressed the more we talk about it.
It's a little silly to be so stressed over the situation, if you're looking in from the outside. Someone's curious, I know. We had plumbing problems with our toilet, finally figuring out that it need to have a drain cleaner used on it. Flushed fine, no problem. My BIL came over to "fix" it, found out the chain was broken in the flushbox, and decided to "fix" the toilet. A day later, he decided the toilet was too old and leaky to be put back in, so bought a new toilet. Okay, that's great. I have my own litterbox again. Last night he comes down and tells us (me and hubby) that he's going to be "remodeling" the place - putting up ceiling tiles that we don't need - so we have to move out a bunch of stuff (we're self-proclaimed packrats). Mostly, I'm pissed off that something about my "home" was decided without consulting me. Basically, people are "fixing" things that don't need fixing and doing it in a passive-aggressive manner.1 -
Oh, @zyxst I know that one. I take it there is a reason you can't just tell BiL to back off so won't even go there.
It is the displacement and lack of control that drives me crazy. Yup, a bit of a pack rat too.
Try turning it into a positive, hard I know, but if things have had to be moved and disrupted take advantage of it and own it. Decide on a new paint colour for the room, or do a quick trip to IKEA and get some new storage, selves, boxes, cupboard, etc for those displaced things.
Something I will suggest, but it is a far out one for me, sort through your displaced stuff. See if you can organize it better, or get rid of some things.
(This is a far out one because my stuff is Stuff I don't want to get rid of and I like where I keep it no matter what anyone else may think)
Try to give yourself some control over the situation, no matter how small. It does help.
Cheers, h.
If needed find you favourite author, curl up and read.0 -
I go to the gun range and shoot up some paper. Archery or even first person shooter video games work, too, if you're not into firearms. Write or imagine your feelings and rage on the target, then destroy it! Seriously, I've had some amazingly beautiful therapeutic breakthroughs at the range.3
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Do you have a therapist? Would you be able/willing to take Ativan? You mentioned addiction so not sure if Ativan would be an issue for you. Do you write? I find writing in a journal helpful and keeps my mind on the present. Also, if you go to You Tube and look up "Guided Meditations" there are some really good ones there. Hugs.1
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Thanks all for taking the time to respond.
I've got some inner strength/control somewhere in me. I wanted to go stuff my face with breadsticks. Didn't do it. I wanted to do self-harm. Came really close, but didn't. Up in Canada, the liquor and smokes are in a separate store, so I didn't have to walk through them while grocery shopping.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
The person I can talk to - my hubby - only gets more stressed the more we talk about it.
It's a little silly to be so stressed over the situation, if you're looking in from the outside. Someone's curious, I know. We had plumbing problems with our toilet, finally figuring out that it need to have a drain cleaner used on it. Flushed fine, no problem. My BIL came over to "fix" it, found out the chain was broken in the flushbox, and decided to "fix" the toilet. A day later, he decided the toilet was too old and leaky to be put back in, so bought a new toilet. Okay, that's great. I have my own litterbox again. Last night he comes down and tells us (me and hubby) that he's going to be "remodeling" the place - putting up ceiling tiles that we don't need - so we have to move out a bunch of stuff (we're self-proclaimed packrats). Mostly, I'm pissed off that something about my "home" was decided without consulting me. Basically, people are "fixing" things that don't need fixing and doing it in a passive-aggressive manner.
And here I was thinking you'd been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Do you own the place or does your BIL?
If it's yours and you don't want anything changed, say no. If it is his, look at the positive side ... nice and new! And maybe a chance to de-clutter.
And if you're feeling frustrated go out for a good, long, hard run or bicycle ride ... something above and beyond what you normally do for exercise.
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Good to know my stress isn't worth bothering about because it's not cancer.Thanks all for taking the time to respond.
I've got some inner strength/control somewhere in me. I wanted to go stuff my face with breadsticks. Didn't do it. I wanted to do self-harm. Came really close, but didn't. Up in Canada, the liquor and smokes are in a separate store, so I didn't have to walk through them while grocery shopping.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
The person I can talk to - my hubby - only gets more stressed the more we talk about it.
It's a little silly to be so stressed over the situation, if you're looking in from the outside. Someone's curious, I know. We had plumbing problems with our toilet, finally figuring out that it need to have a drain cleaner used on it. Flushed fine, no problem. My BIL came over to "fix" it, found out the chain was broken in the flushbox, and decided to "fix" the toilet. A day later, he decided the toilet was too old and leaky to be put back in, so bought a new toilet. Okay, that's great. I have my own litterbox again. Last night he comes down and tells us (me and hubby) that he's going to be "remodeling" the place - putting up ceiling tiles that we don't need - so we have to move out a bunch of stuff (we're self-proclaimed packrats). Mostly, I'm pissed off that something about my "home" was decided without consulting me. Basically, people are "fixing" things that don't need fixing and doing it in a passive-aggressive manner.
And here I was thinking you'd been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Do you own the place or does your BIL?
If it's yours and you don't want anything changed, say no. If it is his, look at the positive side ... nice and new! And maybe a chance to de-clutter.
And if you're feeling frustrated go out for a good, long, hard run or bicycle ride ... something above and beyond what you normally do for exercise.
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@zyxst I have been in a tearful funk all week because my hairstylist,that I had for 3 years, absolutely butchered my hair.
A small thing compared to the problems of the world, but it affected me big time. It doesn't matter what the scale of the upset is it is how it has affected you at this point in time.
I am off to the UK to celebrate my mums 90th on Wednesday and I have hardly left the house because of my hair. That is how upset I have been.
Last night SO said he had been emailing my sister in London and it is all set up for me to go to her stylist the day after I arrive. I couldn't cope with trying to get it fixed even.
It is not the gravity of the event, it is how it affects you.
Cheers and , h. 0 -
Good to know my stress isn't worth bothering about because it's not cancer.Thanks all for taking the time to respond.
I've got some inner strength/control somewhere in me. I wanted to go stuff my face with breadsticks. Didn't do it. I wanted to do self-harm. Came really close, but didn't. Up in Canada, the liquor and smokes are in a separate store, so I didn't have to walk through them while grocery shopping.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
The person I can talk to - my hubby - only gets more stressed the more we talk about it.
It's a little silly to be so stressed over the situation, if you're looking in from the outside. Someone's curious, I know. We had plumbing problems with our toilet, finally figuring out that it need to have a drain cleaner used on it. Flushed fine, no problem. My BIL came over to "fix" it, found out the chain was broken in the flushbox, and decided to "fix" the toilet. A day later, he decided the toilet was too old and leaky to be put back in, so bought a new toilet. Okay, that's great. I have my own litterbox again. Last night he comes down and tells us (me and hubby) that he's going to be "remodeling" the place - putting up ceiling tiles that we don't need - so we have to move out a bunch of stuff (we're self-proclaimed packrats). Mostly, I'm pissed off that something about my "home" was decided without consulting me. Basically, people are "fixing" things that don't need fixing and doing it in a passive-aggressive manner.
And here I was thinking you'd been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Do you own the place or does your BIL?
If it's yours and you don't want anything changed, say no. If it is his, look at the positive side ... nice and new! And maybe a chance to de-clutter.
And if you're feeling frustrated go out for a good, long, hard run or bicycle ride ... something above and beyond what you normally do for exercise.
It is worth bothering about ... but there are things you can do about it. Consider ways you can either fix the situation or get something positive from it.
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Scary movies and action movies about stressful but highly implausible situations is a good de-stressor, oddly enough. Not sure why, though.
Sorry that boundaries are being crossed, I would probably stress too.
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