Hubby is making me feel bad for posing for pics *sorry so lo

DonnaT20
DonnaT20 Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
So long story short...I have lost over 80lbs...feel amazing, look amazing and i am very proud of all my hard work. Hubby is very supportive and complimentary of all my hard work and sucess, however he always gives me a hard time when having someone take a pic of me. Yesterday I fixed my hair put on makeup and a new outfit posed for the camera and was about to change my twit profile pic then he said 'let me stop you from embarassing yourself, don't be one of those people who is always posing for the camera bragging about how they look and posting different pics!" I was like WTH...I told him I am just so happy with the NEW me. After years of hiding not wanting to shop, go anywhere and get dressed up I finally love the way I look. He said I was just trying to justify the fact that I was showing off and bragging. Hubby is a handsome and very fit guy, but he is also a very private man who hates having his pic taken so am I over reacting or is he just being a freak?
«13

Replies

  • yanicka
    yanicka Posts: 1,004 Member
    How about he mind his own business, it's not a pic of him. And quite frankly...you have every right to brag.
  • tsmom1128
    tsmom1128 Posts: 151 Member
    Girl, do your thing... he just doesn't want anyone looking at your sexy self!
  • emmaNEEDSskinny
    emmaNEEDSskinny Posts: 317
    he is being a freak in your words.
    you have every right to feel amazing and show it off!
  • See_Jenn_Run
    See_Jenn_Run Posts: 67
    I think he's overreacting - maybe he's worried that his smokin' hot wife is going to attract some attention from other guys now! :) If you're not in some skimpy outfit, I'd say go ahead and celebrate your success woman! You've earned it!
  • asilmegan34
    asilmegan34 Posts: 256 Member
    I can see both points of view. You should totally be proud of your achievements and have a right to show that off, but there also comes a point where too much is too much. Personally I get annoyed when people go overboard with anything on social media. I have friends who create facebook profiles for their newborn kid and I think thats the stupidest thing ever and it annoys me. However, someone that has gone on a weight loss journey should be able to show off, just make sure it's a classy way of doing it and not a "I'm better than everyone" way.
  • tbisca1
    tbisca1 Posts: 142
    How about he mind his own business, it's not a pic of him. And quite frankly...you have every right to brag.

    Amen! lol my fiancée is the opposite he is always trying to take my picture now and I am not at that point yet where I want it taken!
  • meli_medina
    meli_medina Posts: 594 Member
    How about he mind his own business, it's not a pic of him. And quite frankly...you have every right to brag.

    This.

    Be proud of who you are, and brag away! You've worked hard to get here, so even if he doesn't feel the need, you should feel the need! Again... brag away!
  • lauram1153
    lauram1153 Posts: 145 Member
    No way if i lost 80 lbs i would be asking strangers if they want to take my photo..! no seriously i think your totally right to want to show of be proud of what you've achieved its amazing. And just think your photos are probably inspiring someone else out their to start trying to loose weight. could he be feeling sligghtly concerned that if he's always been the fit healthy one he might be finding it hard to get used to the new confident you x
  • myrbg
    myrbg Posts: 93
    tell hubby to put his crazy in a bottle and throw it away! YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL GREAT! you've achieved something great and i think it's wonderful that you want to share it! even if it is via photo, who the hell CARES! i don't mean to speculate, but maybe your man is jealous of all the good attention you're getting?! or he doesn't want any body else thinking you're a hottie with a body besides him?! sounds like some major insecurity there. BRAG ALL YOU WANT MAMA, 'cause you can and you should!
  • foxxybrown
    foxxybrown Posts: 838 Member
    He may be a little nervous that you are seeking affirmation from others. He's adjusting to the new you too and may not want his wife flaunting herself for everyone else. Do your tweeting when you're alone! ;-)
  • Dunis
    Dunis Posts: 1
    That is crazy!!!!! Take the pic, yes brag absolutely, you worked your *kitten* off!!! You deserve the praises you'll get when that photo is uploaded!!!!

    Congrats =)
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    It's easy to forget that when you make such major changes to your life and appearance, our loved ones ALSO have to deal with a great deal of change that they didn't ask for and may find difficult.

    Many, many, many men become terribly insecure when their wives or girlfriends begin to get a lot of attention. They worry that you'll attract something better and be out the door. Most of them don't want to admit this, but some of them will if you can get them to open up. It sounds as though he's not quite ready to handle having a hot, outgoing wife yet.

    The other possibility here(and I'm just throwing it out there as I know nothing of your situation) is that he's always been too controlling and you're just starting to notice it now as you've found your voice and self-confidence. Often times, when we don't feel good about ourselves for some reason, we're willing to put up with things that we wouldn't even consider when we're feeling more confident. So it's possible that there's always been a dynamic of your husband trying to control you and you're just finally noticing it with your renewed confidence.
  • mssweetjay
    mssweetjay Posts: 142
    Girl its nothing wrong in taking a pic of yourself!!!!! Do your thang!!!!!
  • missfabulous
    missfabulous Posts: 5 Member
    he sounds a little insecure and maybe afraid. reassure him with love and attention. congratulations on ur accomplishment! u worked had and deserve to be proud
  • shelld70
    shelld70 Posts: 106
    I agree! You have worked hard. You deserve feel good about that and show your progress. I don't think this is "bragging or showing off". I have always hated getting my pic taken. I am getting more comfortable with it and it's hard for me to see the progress myself, so pics help with that. You keep it up and post a pic! :happy:
  • farmgirlsuz
    farmgirlsuz Posts: 351 Member
    Maybe not so much a freak as a little insecure? (OK maybe a LOT insecure!) Be proud of what you have accomplished-share it with the world! You have worked so hard there is no reason NOT to feel great and want to share it. If he doesn't like his picture taken too bad for him, but don't let him dictate how YOU feel!
  • mommachef
    mommachef Posts: 52
    I think our men also get a little jealous when they see our new bodies. They see how sexy we look and how powerful we feel and they worry that we might stray.

    So some of his weirdness about your photo is probably coming from that place, too.
  • TazzyDB
    TazzyDB Posts: 224
    Men that do not have to lose weight or have never had to worry about it, do not understand. My husband is the same way. Although their lack of compassion is unforgivable, try to celebrate your success and do not let him bother you.

    I am SO inspired by the fact that you've lost 80 pounds. I have just started (again) and have 90 to lose. You may not know me, but I am very, very happy for you.

    Have your picture taken.
    Share your pictures with us.
    Celebrate you success.

    You go, girl!!!!!
  • AEcklar813
    AEcklar813 Posts: 184 Member
    I think he is over reacting not you. You have EVERY right to brag. That is a HUGE accomplishment. And you can bet when I lose 80lbs Not one will I be doing a victory dance but I sure will be posting some new pics of me somewhere. I'd be bragging too! You deserve to brag. I wouldn't want a pic of me 80lbs heavier on my facebook so I'd be changing my pic =)
  • djthom
    djthom Posts: 651 Member
    It sounds like he's the one overreacting. It's great that you want to take your picture. It means you finally feel good about the way you look and you should be proud to show it. For too long most off us have been unhappy with how we look and have tended to avoid having our pictures taken. I say be proud and pose for those picture. Tell your husband we here at MFP love seeing updated pictures of people happy and proud of all the hard work they have done finally paying off!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    How about he mind his own business, it's not a pic of him. And quite frankly...you have every right to brag.

    I disagree. It is his business if his wife is posting pictures of herself on the internet. In this case I think it's a bit extreme...but if its how he (or she) feels...and it's their relationship...who are we to judge?

    Relationships...SOLID relationships...have been destroyed by as little as that more than once. The internet can be an evil, evil thing.

    Again, in this case it's a little much in my opinion...and the way he went about it seems somewhat rude...but I believe it's certainly within requesting rights of a husband or wife.

    *shrug*
  • stephanielynn76
    stephanielynn76 Posts: 709 Member
    Girl... get yo brag on!!!! Perhaps he's a bit insecure about how fine his wifey looks?!? But I kwym about finally feeling better and wanting pictures of youself... heck look at my profile for proof of that! Eating right and working out is hard work. I personally am proud of my accomplismemts... YOU SHOULD BE TOO!
  • fchris31
    fchris31 Posts: 1
    Post your pictures!!!! You should be proud of what you have done so far. Losing 80lbs is absolutely wonderful and if he doesn't like it, oh well he will get over it. Do what makes you proud. Keep it up!!!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. I have friends that change their picture every day, not because they're braggers but because they like to switch it up. And quite frankly, no matter his intent, saying "let me stop you from embarassing yourself" when you're putting up a picture of yourself is really quite mean . . . as if you have something to be embarassed about. Asshat.
  • AreneeS22
    AreneeS22 Posts: 42 Member
    I agree , its not a pic of him so I dont see why he's making a fuss over it... Honestly I think its pretty aweful that he would react that way about it. I think you've accomplished a lot losing all that weight and if want to take pics of your accomplishment, you should!
  • Jenny56dreams
    Jenny56dreams Posts: 147 Member
    Definately over reacting.....Sounds like he doesn't want to share the new you with anyone. I had a similar situation this weekend. But let me just say this: I f you feel confident and beautiful and you know you look great then PLEASE don't let ANYONE make you feel different. It's ok to feel pretty, it's ok to pose for a pic especially if its not anything bad, it's ok to dress up and fell good about yourself. You say he's fit and handsome or whatever? Even the most beautiful people can act ugly. Be proud of your success. :wink:
  • Millie77
    Millie77 Posts: 39
    You should post pics of yourself. It's one thing to be proud of your weight loss and another to be conceited and just want attention. Great job and congrats on your weight loss!!
  • Willowalker
    Willowalker Posts: 26
    An 80 pound loss is OUTSTANDING - and you have every right to be proud of such an accomplishment and share this with those you know. Why does he begrudge your "feel good" moment? Perhaps insecurity on his part? I always, ALWAYS trust my gut. If I felt it was right to do, I'd do it. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with posting well-deserved, hard-earned fit pix. You've shown amazing strength to come this far. Don't back down now!
  • ANeWcRe8N
    ANeWcRe8N Posts: 1,180 Member
    It's easy to forget that when you make such major changes to your life and appearance, our loved ones ALSO have to deal with a great deal of change that they didn't ask for and may find difficult.

    Many, many, many men become terribly insecure when their wives or girlfriends begin to get a lot of attention. They worry that you'll attract something better and be out the door. Most of them don't want to admit this, but some of them will if you can get them to open up. It sounds as though he's not quite ready to handle having a hot, outgoing wife yet. .

    THIS ^ I totally agree with this.
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    'let me stop you from embarassing yourself, don't be one of those people who is always posing for the camera bragging about how they look and posting different pics!"

    Okay... Wow... That's just sad...

    Try to convince him you're not trying to brag, you just want people to see you as you really are :smile:
This discussion has been closed.

Categories