Stress relief suggestions
Replies
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Got hit with a bomb last night that's triggered my stress levels through the roof (or so it feels). What I would do to relieve the stress I "can't" (I can do them, but they would start up either addiction cycles or gaining all my weight back) do any longer. Need some suggestions.
What works, but I "can't" do - eating, smoking, drinking, and self-harm.
What doesn't work - sex and exercise.
What I am doing - sitting on the bed in the dark and letting the rage stew, occasionally crying until I start suffocating from snot overload.
I've tried "meditation" (clearing my thoughts, thinking of "good", "calm" places/people). Rage always finds a way in.
ETA: Stupid kitten word replacement!
Stress management can be one of the hardest things in life at times. What triggers stress in all of us varies, but the end impact is often similar.
One of the things I've found that helped me through some very high stress times was slowing down to focus on what was right, rather than what was wrong. And the reason I quoted your post was to show that you are much more in control than you might see from your angle. You already know what doesn't work, as well as what you "can't" do. You are reaching out for input and help of some form, and you haven't given up. And though none of these things are helping you this second, you're taking all the right steps to resolve the issue.
Find a way to vent all of the details of the event that created this to a judgement free audience that will hear you out, regardless of where you find it. Vent every bit of that frustration. And then take some deep breaths, continue with your plan to help lessen or resolve the stress, and keep moving forward. If the situation warrants it, seek professional help.
I went through a period of stress levels that were just through the roof, and wasted a lot of time not fixing those things I could control, as well as just not accepting those things beyond my control. Being a hard headed older man I put off seeing a professional thinking I would fix it on my own. I could have easily added that mistake to the list of stress factors. But instead after seeking professional help I started trying to view the positive and move forward.
I sincerely hope things improve for you quickly, and after what I went through completely relate to how it impacts life. If you struggle to begin finding resolution on your own, reach out to whatever resources you have available.2 -
Thanks all for taking the time to respond.
I've got some inner strength/control somewhere in me. I wanted to go stuff my face with breadsticks. Didn't do it. I wanted to do self-harm. Came really close, but didn't. Up in Canada, the liquor and smokes are in a separate store, so I didn't have to walk through them while grocery shopping.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
The person I can talk to - my hubby - only gets more stressed the more we talk about it.
It's a little silly to be so stressed over the situation, if you're looking in from the outside. Someone's curious, I know. We had plumbing problems with our toilet, finally figuring out that it need to have a drain cleaner used on it. Flushed fine, no problem. My BIL came over to "fix" it, found out the chain was broken in the flushbox, and decided to "fix" the toilet. A day later, he decided the toilet was too old and leaky to be put back in, so bought a new toilet. Okay, that's great. I have my own litterbox again. Last night he comes down and tells us (me and hubby) that he's going to be "remodeling" the place - putting up ceiling tiles that we don't need - so we have to move out a bunch of stuff (we're self-proclaimed packrats). Mostly, I'm pissed off that something about my "home" was decided without consulting me. Basically, people are "fixing" things that don't need fixing and doing it in a passive-aggressive manner.1 -
Oh, @zyxst I know that one. I take it there is a reason you can't just tell BiL to back off so won't even go there.
It is the displacement and lack of control that drives me crazy. Yup, a bit of a pack rat too.
Try turning it into a positive, hard I know, but if things have had to be moved and disrupted take advantage of it and own it. Decide on a new paint colour for the room, or do a quick trip to IKEA and get some new storage, selves, boxes, cupboard, etc for those displaced things.
Something I will suggest, but it is a far out one for me, sort through your displaced stuff. See if you can organize it better, or get rid of some things.
(This is a far out one because my stuff is Stuff I don't want to get rid of and I like where I keep it no matter what anyone else may think)
Try to give yourself some control over the situation, no matter how small. It does help.
Cheers, h.
If needed find you favourite author, curl up and read.0 -
I go to the gun range and shoot up some paper. Archery or even first person shooter video games work, too, if you're not into firearms. Write or imagine your feelings and rage on the target, then destroy it! Seriously, I've had some amazingly beautiful therapeutic breakthroughs at the range.3
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Do you have a therapist? Would you be able/willing to take Ativan? You mentioned addiction so not sure if Ativan would be an issue for you. Do you write? I find writing in a journal helpful and keeps my mind on the present. Also, if you go to You Tube and look up "Guided Meditations" there are some really good ones there. Hugs.1
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Thanks all for taking the time to respond.
I've got some inner strength/control somewhere in me. I wanted to go stuff my face with breadsticks. Didn't do it. I wanted to do self-harm. Came really close, but didn't. Up in Canada, the liquor and smokes are in a separate store, so I didn't have to walk through them while grocery shopping.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
The person I can talk to - my hubby - only gets more stressed the more we talk about it.
It's a little silly to be so stressed over the situation, if you're looking in from the outside. Someone's curious, I know. We had plumbing problems with our toilet, finally figuring out that it need to have a drain cleaner used on it. Flushed fine, no problem. My BIL came over to "fix" it, found out the chain was broken in the flushbox, and decided to "fix" the toilet. A day later, he decided the toilet was too old and leaky to be put back in, so bought a new toilet. Okay, that's great. I have my own litterbox again. Last night he comes down and tells us (me and hubby) that he's going to be "remodeling" the place - putting up ceiling tiles that we don't need - so we have to move out a bunch of stuff (we're self-proclaimed packrats). Mostly, I'm pissed off that something about my "home" was decided without consulting me. Basically, people are "fixing" things that don't need fixing and doing it in a passive-aggressive manner.
And here I was thinking you'd been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Do you own the place or does your BIL?
If it's yours and you don't want anything changed, say no. If it is his, look at the positive side ... nice and new! And maybe a chance to de-clutter.
And if you're feeling frustrated go out for a good, long, hard run or bicycle ride ... something above and beyond what you normally do for exercise.
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Good to know my stress isn't worth bothering about because it's not cancer.Thanks all for taking the time to respond.
I've got some inner strength/control somewhere in me. I wanted to go stuff my face with breadsticks. Didn't do it. I wanted to do self-harm. Came really close, but didn't. Up in Canada, the liquor and smokes are in a separate store, so I didn't have to walk through them while grocery shopping.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
The person I can talk to - my hubby - only gets more stressed the more we talk about it.
It's a little silly to be so stressed over the situation, if you're looking in from the outside. Someone's curious, I know. We had plumbing problems with our toilet, finally figuring out that it need to have a drain cleaner used on it. Flushed fine, no problem. My BIL came over to "fix" it, found out the chain was broken in the flushbox, and decided to "fix" the toilet. A day later, he decided the toilet was too old and leaky to be put back in, so bought a new toilet. Okay, that's great. I have my own litterbox again. Last night he comes down and tells us (me and hubby) that he's going to be "remodeling" the place - putting up ceiling tiles that we don't need - so we have to move out a bunch of stuff (we're self-proclaimed packrats). Mostly, I'm pissed off that something about my "home" was decided without consulting me. Basically, people are "fixing" things that don't need fixing and doing it in a passive-aggressive manner.
And here I was thinking you'd been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Do you own the place or does your BIL?
If it's yours and you don't want anything changed, say no. If it is his, look at the positive side ... nice and new! And maybe a chance to de-clutter.
And if you're feeling frustrated go out for a good, long, hard run or bicycle ride ... something above and beyond what you normally do for exercise.
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@zyxst I have been in a tearful funk all week because my hairstylist,that I had for 3 years, absolutely butchered my hair.
A small thing compared to the problems of the world, but it affected me big time. It doesn't matter what the scale of the upset is it is how it has affected you at this point in time.
I am off to the UK to celebrate my mums 90th on Wednesday and I have hardly left the house because of my hair. That is how upset I have been.
Last night SO said he had been emailing my sister in London and it is all set up for me to go to her stylist the day after I arrive. I couldn't cope with trying to get it fixed even.
It is not the gravity of the event, it is how it affects you.
Cheers and
, h. 0 -
Good to know my stress isn't worth bothering about because it's not cancer.Thanks all for taking the time to respond.
I've got some inner strength/control somewhere in me. I wanted to go stuff my face with breadsticks. Didn't do it. I wanted to do self-harm. Came really close, but didn't. Up in Canada, the liquor and smokes are in a separate store, so I didn't have to walk through them while grocery shopping.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
The person I can talk to - my hubby - only gets more stressed the more we talk about it.
It's a little silly to be so stressed over the situation, if you're looking in from the outside. Someone's curious, I know. We had plumbing problems with our toilet, finally figuring out that it need to have a drain cleaner used on it. Flushed fine, no problem. My BIL came over to "fix" it, found out the chain was broken in the flushbox, and decided to "fix" the toilet. A day later, he decided the toilet was too old and leaky to be put back in, so bought a new toilet. Okay, that's great. I have my own litterbox again. Last night he comes down and tells us (me and hubby) that he's going to be "remodeling" the place - putting up ceiling tiles that we don't need - so we have to move out a bunch of stuff (we're self-proclaimed packrats). Mostly, I'm pissed off that something about my "home" was decided without consulting me. Basically, people are "fixing" things that don't need fixing and doing it in a passive-aggressive manner.
And here I was thinking you'd been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Do you own the place or does your BIL?
If it's yours and you don't want anything changed, say no. If it is his, look at the positive side ... nice and new! And maybe a chance to de-clutter.
And if you're feeling frustrated go out for a good, long, hard run or bicycle ride ... something above and beyond what you normally do for exercise.
It is worth bothering about ... but there are things you can do about it. Consider ways you can either fix the situation or get something positive from it.
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Scary movies and action movies about stressful but highly implausible situations is a good de-stressor, oddly enough. Not sure why, though.
Sorry that boundaries are being crossed, I would probably stress too.
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Take up boxing. Buy a bag, and tape your BIL face on it........................and hit it.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Take up boxing. Buy a bag, and tape your BIL face on it........................and hit it.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yep. And ask him to put the old toilet in the back yard. Tape his face on that, too, and take a sledge hammer to it.0 -
williams969 wrote: »
Take up boxing. Buy a bag, and tape your BIL face on it........................and hit it.
Exercise just doesn't relieve stress or make me feel better. I just keep being angry and no matter who the instructor/coach is (even when I really like them), I want to punch his/her face in.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yep. And ask him to put the old toilet in the back yard. Tape his face on that, too, and take a sledge hammer to it.
I thought you were going to say---"Take a poo in it".0
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