Hubby is making me feel bad for posing for pics *sorry so lo

I think you should post your pics and let us all see your accomplishments, like someone else said just make sure it is classy not sleazy (and I don't think it would be sleazy) then set him down and tell him how important it is to your self esteem to show off your new body, show him these post from your friends that are trying to get where you are at and assure him he is the only one for you and that now you can do more with him in this life of fitness. Good luck and God bless with you journey and this challenge.

Have you explained in detail what it means to you to have lost the weight? For you its not bout the attention you get (right?)...its about the liberating feeling from not having to hide behind the pounds. Some men are not able to handle change but if you explain what it means to you emotionally I think he will understand.

At the end of the day, pictures on a social site are not worth the friction in a relationship. Maybe try taking sexy pics together.

It's totally your life, your body, and your choice! If after all you have done treating yourself to lovely things, losing 80 pounds, and feeling fantastic; don't let ANY one stop you! You've hid loong enough! Your a beautiful butterfly now! Show off your amazing wings and fly around! Dont let your hubby continue to hide you, that is not right and it is going to make you think that losing weight = no good... Please sweetie, show off your hott bod! Haha you deserve to be looked at and envyed!

Have you explained in detail what it means to you to have lost the weight? For you its not bout the attention you get (right?)...its about the liberating feeling from not having to hide behind the pounds. Some men are not able to handle change but if you explain what it means to you emotionally I think he will understand.

At the end of the day, pictures on a social site are not worth the friction in a relationship. Maybe try taking sexy pics together.

This is very good...and continues the point I made initially.

If my wife and I had had this issue, and she ran to the internet for relationship advice from total strangers, it just would have made it worse. We know nothing about them, nothing about the circumstances, and we're all effectively telling her 'screw him he's an *kitten*!! You should do whatever you want! It's not like you're married or anything!!!'.

Doesn't seem right to me.

Have you explained in detail what it means to you to have lost the weight? For you its not bout the attention you get (right?)...its about the liberating feeling from not having to hide behind the pounds. Some men are not able to handle change but if you explain what it means to you emotionally I think he will understand.

At the end of the day, pictures on a social site are not worth the friction in a relationship. Maybe try taking sexy pics together.

This is very good...and continues the point I made initially.

If my wife and I had had this issue, and she ran to the internet for relationship advice from total strangers, it just would have made it worse. We know nothing about them, nothing about the circumstances, and we're all effectively telling her 'screw him he's an *kitten*!! You should do whatever you want! It's not like you're married or anything!!!'.

Doesn't seem right to me.

You seem to have completely overlooked the fact that he chose to be horribly demeaning and basically told her what to do. There was no 'discussion' here. There was a nasty, malicious comment used to undermine and demean in order to control his wife. That is atrocious behavior and actually abusive.

It's one thing for spouses to discuss how they use social media. It's quite another to say "Let me stop you from embarassing yourself".

You have done an amazing thing and don't forget it.
Carry on & do everything you want to do.
Your hubby is a private person (as quoted in your post) because of this and being a man!! he can't understand why you would want to do this as it is the last thing he would want to do or could do
My other half is shy and quite often hides in public when with me!!!!!! I will even do 'public' things for my kids but he can't understand how I could do them (going on stage to do silly things/ school trips etc ) - whether its for the kids or not just because there is no way he could it
You are my inspiration for today - I thank you - treadmill here I come

Don't stop being you :flowerforyou:

Have you explained in detail what it means to you to have lost the weight? For you its not bout the attention you get (right?)...its about the liberating feeling from not having to hide behind the pounds. Some men are not able to handle change but if you explain what it means to you emotionally I think he will understand.

At the end of the day, pictures on a social site are not worth the friction in a relationship. Maybe try taking sexy pics together.

This is very good...and continues the point I made initially.

If my wife and I had had this issue, and she ran to the internet for relationship advice from total strangers, it just would have made it worse. We know nothing about them, nothing about the circumstances, and we're all effectively telling her 'screw him he's an *kitten*!! You should do whatever you want! It's not like you're married or anything!!!'.

Doesn't seem right to me.

You seem to have completely overlooked the fact that he chose to be horribly demeaning and basically told her what to do. There was no 'discussion' here. There was a nasty, malicious comment used to undermine and demean in order to control his wife. That is atrocious behavior and actually abusive.

It's one thing for spouses to discuss how they use social media. It's quite another to say "Let me stop you from embarassing yourself".

I didn't overlook it, as a matter of fact, I mentioned it in my first post. So...one person in a relationship displays poor behavior, and the other should react by shoving what is bothering them in his face? Yes, he was wrong in how he did it...but again, the internet has destroyed strong relationships with less to work with.

All I suggested was a more moderate approach to advising this poor girl...who had a small issue initially, but is now possibly looking at a much, much larger one, as the internet JUST made the step to 'more important than her husband' in his eyes.

I can see both points of view. You should totally be proud of your achievements and have a right to show that off, but there also comes a point where too much is too much. Personally I get annoyed when people go overboard with anything on social media. I have friends who create facebook profiles for their newborn kid and I think thats the stupidest thing ever and it annoys me. However, someone that has gone on a weight loss journey should be able to show off, just make sure it's a classy way of doing it and not a "I'm better than everyone" way.

I agree. 100%. It is kind of his business, because you are his wife, and what you do reflects on to him. So, if it embarrasses him, why do you insist that you keep doing it? Maybe you should check your motives...Are you doing it to get more attention? I mean, a couple of before and after photos shouldn't be a problem, but if you are changing your pic all of the time and dressing up for it, my question would be, Why?

If it is just a profile pic and not revealing then GO for it!

As a wife I'm going to be honest with you. It's easy to comment from outside looking in, BUT chances are there is more going on than hubby is saying. The small amounr of weight I've lost is affecting my hubby already, not necessarily bad, but he's worried. When you lose weight you look different, act different, smile different, laugh different. A new you has emerged and that is a lot to process for them because the woman they married is changing.

Part of them is insecure that their wife is, or has outgrown them, especially if they have any body image issues themselves. Moreover, he may be more worried that you'll leave him now. You are not hiding, which means you are more outgoing, which means more exposure. It's kind of the way a child behaves when they've been an only child for a long time and they have adjust to sharing the attention, so they misbehave for attention out of fear that they are losing love.

Only you know where the line crosses between insecure and intolerable. But, I encourage you to ask your husband to express himself to you and allow you to express yourself to him as well. This way both sides can be heard and not just swept under the rug to fester later. He may just need to know that his wife still loves him & her new body, & is not going to leave just b/c she's "hot", Lol. After all, when we take this journey we take our whole families with us like it or not.

Congrats on your weight loss, this is not easy, but things get better.

Please brag and be proud of yourself! Also, remember that before and after pictures are very inspiring for those of us who are not having success. You post for others as well as yourself!

Bump for later.

how would it be embarrassing!?!?! you probably look amazing and should be so proud of yourself (and you are) and that is GREAT! You should love yourself and the way you look. You have worked so hard for this! I have just lost 20 lbs and am still a lil porky (lol) but I love posing for pictures and looking at how far I've come! It keeps me motivated and excited about the future-better me! It is also the little girl in us, I think!!! Go for it!!! He is being, as you put it, "a freak."

aww, I was going to look at her diary and she de activated her account, the OP.

Wonder if her jealous husband made her stop posting? sad, really sad.............

It's easy to forget that when you make such major changes to your life and appearance, our loved ones ALSO have to deal with a great deal of change that they didn't ask for and may find difficult.

Many, many, many men become terribly insecure when their wives or girlfriends begin to get a lot of attention. They worry that you'll attract something better and be out the door. Most of them don't want to admit this, but some of them will if you can get them to open up. It sounds as though he's not quite ready to handle having a hot, outgoing wife yet.

The other possibility here(and I'm just throwing it out there as I know nothing of your situation) is that he's always been too controlling and you're just starting to notice it now as you've found your voice and self-confidence. Often times, when we don't feel good about ourselves for some reason, we're willing to put up with things that we wouldn't even consider when we're feeling more confident. So it's possible that there's always been a dynamic of your husband trying to control you and you're just finally noticing it with your renewed confidence.

I was going to say this.....I would see it as a sign he was feeling a bit insecure and maybe he's a bit scared that you are wanting other guys to notice how fab you are looking???