120 lbs down, 37 lbs to go

Where to begin...lol

Well my weight loss journey began 3 yrs ago. I was at my heaviest ever, at 327 lbs. I was
miserable, felt aged way beyond my years. I had so many medical issues that I had even made peace with my Maker. High blood pressure, border line diabetic, terrible back problems, depressed, could hardly sleep and the list goes on. We all hit a wall. My dad died just the year before of a heart attack. He was only 54. But it wasn't till almost a year later that my mom at the same age ended up in the ER. I sat in her room realizing I could lose her too. Our weight was killing us. I decided that day I wanted to live! That I wanted to enjoy what I have left of this beautiful life. That I wanted to live to meet my great grandchildren someday. That I really wanted to enjoy each day and not just survive. I started strength training 3 days a week, which I still do today. I do cardio here and there. I'd been through major weight loss once before. I had great tools already but I knew I needed to really change the way I think. Really listen to my body, get to really know it. And I knew to do this real, it was going to take time. I had a lifetime of rewiring to do. And reality is, I will be a work in progress till my last breath. I knew with eating I wasn't going crazy strict having to follow to the T as I had done the other time. I needed to learn to lose my weight, eating how I will forever. MOSTLY no sugar, no white flour, no fried foods and as little processed as possible. And portion control. MOSTLY in reality means that I will sometimes have that beer, that I will not miss out on certain foods when going out with family and friends, I would have whatever I wanted for the Holiday meals and I will have that cake at the party or wedding. I also knew I had to learn to start spotting my lies to really change my old habits. There was no more BAD FOODS. Just realistic portions and not eating if I really wasn't hungry. Because I enjoy these moments it made me see and break one of my biggest past habits. When I used to view these moments as 'BAD' I'd feel like a failure and then continue to eat bad the entire rest of the day, telling myself ' I'll start again tomorrow. ' Well, I've come so far now that I don't have that guilt anymore. I know that even if I over indulge in a moment. That does not affect the rest of my day. I stay on track and eat pretty healthy most the time. Incorporating what I've learned and seeing what my personal needs are health wise. But I don't miss out on moments. And because I've learned to change the way I think is why I have slowly but surely been successful. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. Life has thrown me curve ball after curve ball since I started my journey. As it will to us all in different ways. I have 5 beautiful children, my oldest was 16 when I started. 4 months into my hard work and my husband of 17 years walked out on my kids and I. Still to this day with zero financial support, our whole lives changed overnight. Starting from scratch. I don't mention this for sympathy. But for encouragement. My health, physically, mentally, became my saving grace. If I can do this. All of you can do this. My advice. Small steps, positive changes, journal your thoughts and habits, start to see your patterns, always be honest, no matter how that looks. Write yourself positive notes of your dreams and the strong person you are and will be. Carry them with you. Read them in hard moments. Listen to music that empowers the positive life you want. Knowledge is power, read about others, their highs and their lows, read about all the things you want to better about yourself. Be kind and patient with yourself. And never listen to anyone's negativity. I don't claim to have this all figured out and there are always bumps, but I love my life and I've learned a lot and I'm glad I can share.

My ultimate goal has always been to be healthy, happy and lean. Well I've accomplished the first two. Roughly 37 lbs to go to lean and a lifetime to continue to work on me.

~We are all worthy of the best version of ourselves.~