Moms, new moms and expecting moms-need your advice

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  • WJS_jeepster
    WJS_jeepster Posts: 224 Member
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    whirlyruns wrote: »
    Loose fitting clothes and shoes. I was more swollen than expected, and my shoes didn't fit well. Also, your own underwear and pads. I was much more comfortable with my favorites that fit my body well.

    I second the loose shoes rec. I couldn't wear any of mine my feet were so swollen. Had to shuffle out to the car in slippers.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    Slippers (ones you don't love - you may not want to keep them after). A book. An ipod or similar and headphones. Babygros and little hats. And make sure you have a car seat, in our hospital they wouldn't let you out without one, you had to bring it in and strap the baby into it before leaving.

    This is as well as the breast pads, maternity pads, nursing bra etc

    Good reminder about car seat! Though our local hospital will give you one for free if you don't have one so that might be an option if OP doesn't have one?


    Thankfully we will have one (I already know my SOs sister bought the 3 in one car seat, stroller, carrier from our registry). I'm pretty sure our hospital won't give you one.

    elphie754 wrote: »
    Sorry for all the questions/threads today, but questions keep popping up in my mind.

    Even though I have 8 weeks left before delivery, OB suggested that I pack a hospital bag rather than wait, just in case baby decides to make her appearance early. That's where I need advice: what are some essentials that you would recommend packing? How did you chose a packing list etc....

    Other than a few pairs of clothes I have no idea what to pack lol.

    Mom of 3 here :) I brought a new nursing nightgown, nursing bras, slippers, a change of clothes and then baby take home outfit. Plus basic toiletries.

    And make sure to bring your phone charger and also magazines or a book-there's lots of down time when baby is sleeping :)

    Among my clothes we also ordered my own hospital gown. I know that sounds weird, but every time I've worn a hospital issued fowl, I break out in hives (likely their detergent) so OB recommended bringing our own.
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    The hospital will provide everything for baby, but bring a going home outfit for baby. Bring a brush/hair tie, toothbrush for yourself. My hospital provided slipper socks, so you may be ok in that respect. Hospital floors are cold though, so yeah. Bring something comfy, probably maternity or stretchy for going home. You won't be wearing skinny jeans, for sure, lol. Underwear you don't care about. You're going to bleed all over them. Seriously. Stuff to keep you entertained. Some shelf stable snacks for after delivery. Maybe some hard candies (like jolly ranchers) for during labor. You won't be able to eat during labor, but candies will help keep the edge off. Camera. Phone. Chargers. Face wipes (sounds silly, but showering isn't on the high list when you're there even though you'll have access to one. If you CAN shower, then do so. Otherwise, a good wipe down will do wonders for you and make you feel refreshed).

    Great list, thank you.
    rach021979 wrote: »
    I agree with above person who said hospital has almost everything..we even took home formula, diapers, wipes, shampoo! Just bring some deodorant and make sure to take a shower and do your hair every day during count down! bc believe me..you will feel better!

    Doing hair is a bit hard right now since I'm on full bedrest. Female SO has been taking the time to brush it for me since I have trouble reaching and then my hands go numb.
    If you have already bought a nursing pillow, you might as well bring that. For me (I'm small breasted) the boppy pillow was great (helped lift the baby to boob). I brought it with 2nd kid.

    You might want to toss some food in the bag; granola bars, nuts. You'll likely be in the hospital a couple of days; and will only get a certain # of meals provided.

    We aren't entirely sure if I will be able to breast feed or not. I had to go back on a medication that I can't breast feed on.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    sardelsa wrote: »
    My hospital supplied next to nothing, so yea definitely find out first.. they usually give you a list of stuff they provide or need to bring.

    I had two bags.. one for pre-baby, and one for post-labour/baby.
    My pre- bag: any hospital documents needed and a pen, re-fillable water bottle, big underwear, pads, Depends, crocs (or slippers), massagers, snacks (I brought some of my daughter's puree packets for quick energy, we were allowed to eat whatever we wanted during labour but that is all I could stomach), lip balm, hair-tie, ipod, phone, chargers.

    Post-bag:
    Toiletries, more Depends (best thing ever), hairbrush, black robe, nightgown, nursing bras, nipple cream, more snacks, books, really loose comfy clothes for you, makeup (if you want to freshen up for visitors), stuff for the baby diapers (they didn't provide), wipes, clothing, extra blankets, hat, carseat, baby going home outfit

    Can't help giggle at makeup. If visitors have an issue that I didn't "freshen up" before they came, too bad so sad lol.
    eissacf25 wrote: »
    This was my list we used for both babies:

    - Aloe Vera Face Wipes
    - Socks/Slippers/Robe
    -Boppy Pillow
    -Makeup and toiletries (I felt better even just putting mascara on for photos haha)
    - chapstick
    - camera / charger / phone chargers
    - change for vending machines
    - EMPTY BAG for all the free stuff the hospital gives you (this one is very important) lol
    - Daddy bag with PJs, books, energy drinks
    - large towel to shower with (the ones at the hospital barely covered one of my breasts lol)
    - hair elastics
    - baby book if you want to get a foot print for it
    - breast pump although i didn't end up using mine, I used the hospitals
    - outfit for me
    - outfit for baby to go home in


    Also, get depends silhouettes, it's SO much easier than getting huge granny panties and the enormous pads you need. This is regardless of your type of delivery, c-section or vaginal you will bleed for weeks and these built in pads make life just a little easier lol

    Good to know. Thank you!
    Lip balm and bottled water were top on my list. I packed light, I knew I could send my husband out for any major things I had forgotten, but after my first(they kept me in for three sleepless, noisy, uncomfortable days) I refused to stay longer than was absolutely neccisary to deem myself and my babies healthy. My second son was actually a super fast delivery in our car and once we were looked over I think I slept for 2 hours and then went home. So about 4 hours tops. My third son was less than 10 hours, we made it to hospital, he was born 30min later, sleep, eat, shower, send me home!!

    Of course your stay may be different, but don't stress about the packing list. If you have a device to communicate with you can always message a friend/family member to grab something for you, they wil want an excuse to come see that new babe anyway!

    Since I'm on full bedrest and have had a lot of complications, I will likely stay the amount of time they want me to.

  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
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    Definitely pack some snacks/shelf-stable meals that fit within your allergy list--depending on when you get admitted and how long it takes you to deliver, your first meal post-baby is usually very standard hospital fare, which may or may not be edible. (I was vegetarian when my son was born so my first meal was a pb&j--the pb was fine, but the j was industrial-grade and disgusting.) At my hospital you could choose your meals in advance for the next meal (at lunch you chose that night's dinner) so it wasn't much as an issue beyond that, but again, since you have such broad allergies it still might be.

    Also, not sure if you've had the opportunity to tour the l&d department now that you've been placed on bedrest--but knowing that you have a unique family situation--make sure that all of the details are clearly delineated in your birth plan if you have one (and/or clear it with the hospital in advance if possible). Also make sure that you make your wishes known (definitely make sure that your SOs are on board and know your wishes and are willing to advocate on your behalf as well). It's pretty overwhelming when you arrive at the hospital in full blown labor and things might slide through the cracks due to the chaos.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    Everyone has covered the basics. Here's a few additions:

    YOUR BIRTH PLAN - make sure you have multiple copies. 3 for nurses (one for each shift. Hand it to your nurse personally on each shift and go over it with her b/c trust me, they won't share it with each other!). One copy for your doc (although she really should go over with you in her office as well - but don't expect her to remember it). For you, a list of your food allergies (you should also post a second copy somewhere in your room where the nurses will see it easily and make sure they know where it's located). Any medications you take for your reactions. While the hospital will have them, waiting for them to get called up from a pharmacy can take a long time. Any medications you take - just in case you need them fast or they want to see the labels.

    BABIES "BIRTH" PLAN - What you do and don't want done to and for baby after birth (ie. do you want baby with you and never allowed in nursery? Baby with one parent at all times or don't care? Shots/no shots (b/c of your reactions)? etc. etc. etc.).

    Because of your food allergies - lots of shelf stable food. They will have a small refrigerator on the floor, but not likely in your room. Energy snacks for pre and post labor. Have food ready at home for your SO to bring to you for meals b/c you can't trust the cafeteria to adhere to your needs (we had to do this for our son and I remember you've already had to do this once).

    Thankfully we started going over the birthplan with my OB, and she remembers a good portion of it. One of the things I really like about the office I go to, is they also make you do 3 nursing visits with the midwife. She is responsible for sending your birth plan to the hospital and making sure the nurse midwives get a copy.

    My birth plan is super simple:I want to come home healthy with baby, by what ever means necessary. I only have two conditions: no male staff members in my room at all (even after delivery) unless a life or death situation and no episiotomy.


  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »

    My birth plan is super simple:I want to come home healthy with baby, by what ever means necessary. I only have two conditions: no male staff members in my room at all (even after delivery) unless a life or death situation and no episiotomy.


    While an episiotomy seems really unpleasant, realize that it is far easier for the doctors to repair a purposeful incision than an accidental tear. Not trying to discount your wishes, but I speak from experience.

    If you are definitely against the episiotomy, make a definite plan with your midwife for how you are going to avoid needing one--this usually means taking it very slow which isn't always easy.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    mitch16 wrote: »
    Definitely pack some snacks/shelf-stable meals that fit within your allergy list--depending on when you get admitted and how long it takes you to deliver, your first meal post-baby is usually very standard hospital fare, which may or may not be edible. (I was vegetarian when my son was born so my first meal was a pb&j--the pb was fine, but the j was industrial-grade and disgusting.) At my hospital you could choose your meals in advance for the next meal (at lunch you chose that night's dinner) so it wasn't much as an issue beyond that, but again, since you have such broad allergies it still might be.

    Also, not sure if you've had the opportunity to tour the l&d department now that you've been placed on bedrest--but knowing that you have a unique family situation--make sure that all of the details are clearly delineated in your birth plan if you have one (and/or clear it with the hospital in advance if possible). Also make sure that you make your wishes known (definitely make sure that your SOs are on board and know your wishes and are willing to advocate on your behalf as well). It's pretty overwhelming when you arrive at the hospital in full blown labor and things might slide through the cracks due to the chaos.

    I haven't had the chance to tour it, but as a medic I have brought patients to that L&D before, plus have been hospitalized there so that not an issue.

    We actually had an argument with the hospital when I was admitted last week about my SOs. They gave him a daddy band, but refused to do anything other than a visitor pass for her, even though it is clearly written in my chart by my doctor that she is also to get a "daddy" band. The hospital we are delivering at requires a "daddy/SO band" for you partner to even be able to enter the floor without signing in each time, and allows them to stay past visiting hours. You also can't take baby out of the nursery without it.

    The judgemental looks and comments from the one nurse were horrible. I eventually cursed her out and told her if she back into my room, with anything other than another daddy/SO band for her, I would flip. She didn't come back in at all the rest of her shift.

    When my doctor came to see me, I told her what happened and she corrected it immediately. The next day when the dumb nurse was on, she actually had the audacity to make comments about our family dynamics and how wrong it was/baby shouldn't be exposed to that. Her mistake? She said it in front of my Male SO. Yeah...... that didn't go so well andnim honestly shocked it didn't end in him being kicked out lol.


    They both know my birth plan, have copies of that along with my health care proxy and MOLST forms.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    edited January 2017
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    mitch16 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »

    My birth plan is super simple:I want to come home healthy with baby, by what ever means necessary. I only have two conditions: no male staff members in my room at all (even after delivery) unless a life or death situation and no episiotomy.


    While an episiotomy seems really unpleasant, realize that it is far easier for the doctors to repair a purposeful incision than an accidental tear. Not trying to discount your wishes, but I speak from experience.

    If you are definitely against the episiotomy, make a definite plan with your midwife for how you are going to avoid needing one--this usually means taking it very slow which isn't always easy.

    It's not that it seems unpleasant,its I have a history of abuse and I know that will trigger flashbacks.
  • marieamethyst
    marieamethyst Posts: 869 Member
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    mitch16 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »

    My birth plan is super simple:I want to come home healthy with baby, by what ever means necessary. I only have two conditions: no male staff members in my room at all (even after delivery) unless a life or death situation and no episiotomy.


    While an episiotomy seems really unpleasant, realize that it is far easier for the doctors to repair a purposeful incision than an accidental tear. Not trying to discount your wishes, but I speak from experience.

    If you are definitely against the episiotomy, make a definite plan with your midwife for how you are going to avoid needing one--this usually means taking it very slow which isn't always easy.

    It depends on the woman I guess, because I had a third degree tear with my first and the OB had no problem stitching me back up and I recovered just fine. (Didn't even tear a tiny bit with my second baby) A friend who had an episiotomy had to have additional work because of the way she was cut and was stitched up. All of the OBs/midwives I had with my babies said it's better to tear naturally and reserve cutting to when it's absolutely needed, and that was the general procedure at the hospitals.

    Even after a third degree tear I'd rather tear again than go through an episiotomy, so I'm glad the medical teams I had respected that. (@elphie754 - Just make it clear when you get to the hospital; I said no cutting unless there was no other option and they were in full agreement with my wish :) )
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    mitch16 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »

    My birth plan is super simple:I want to come home healthy with baby, by what ever means necessary. I only have two conditions: no male staff members in my room at all (even after delivery) unless a life or death situation and no episiotomy.


    While an episiotomy seems really unpleasant, realize that it is far easier for the doctors to repair a purposeful incision than an accidental tear. Not trying to discount your wishes, but I speak from experience.

    If you are definitely against the episiotomy, make a definite plan with your midwife for how you are going to avoid needing one--this usually means taking it very slow which isn't always easy.

    It depends on the woman I guess, because I had a third degree tear with my first and the OB had no problem stitching me back up and I recovered just fine. (Didn't even tear a tiny bit with my second baby) A friend who had an episiotomy had to have additional work because of the way she was cut and was stitched up. All of the OBs/midwives I had with my babies said it's better to tear naturally and reserve cutting to when it's absolutely needed, and that was the general procedure at the hospitals.

    Even after a third degree tear I'd rather tear again than go through an episiotomy, so I'm glad the medical teams I had respected that. (@elphie754 - Just make it clear when you get to the hospital; I said no cutting unless there was no other option and they were in full agreement with my wish :) )

    We have made it clear and will continue to make it clear. That's why both SOs want to be there during delivery.
  • eissacf25
    eissacf25 Posts: 151 Member
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    @elphie754 hahah it was ME who wanted the makeup, my visitors could care less. I wanted to feel somewhat like myself, and make up is part of that lol (it's because i have blonde eyebrows and blonde eyelashes - so it just makes me feel better if I color them to match my gingah hair :wink: ) you've got some great lists here to work with!!
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    eissacf25 wrote: »
    @elphie754 hahah it was ME who wanted the makeup, my visitors could care less. I wanted to feel somewhat like myself, and make up is part of that lol (it's because i have blonde eyebrows and blonde eyelashes - so it just makes me feel better if I color them to match my gingah hair :wink: ) you've got some great lists here to work with!!

    Lol, I've always been kind of a simple person when it comes to makeup. I might leave the house with mascara and lip gloss but that about it lol.
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 5,012 Member
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    There's lots of good advice, but I'll just say don't stress too much about it. I meant to pack a bag with both of mine and never really did. I just threw a pair of pajamas and a brush in a bag at the last minute and that was it.
  • MamaRiss
    MamaRiss Posts: 481 Member
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    Even if you don't think you are going to breastfeed, a nice soft stretchy nursing bra will be nice to have, the engorgement can happen fast , and you don't want to feel constricted or have them moving about much ( I went from barely B's to D's within a matter of hours). Do not bring clothing that you love. You have the exact same birth plan as me :) Oh, and my husband would say, pepto/anti-nausea drugs for your SOs if they get a little nauseated seeing you in pain ( my husband puked during both of my labors). But don't stress about packing the perfect bag, the hospitals provide a lot ( I sill use the one quart cup mine gave me 4.5 years ago) and you aren't in the middle of nowhere, you'll be able to get what you need if you've forgotten something
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    kgirlhart wrote: »
    There's lots of good advice, but I'll just say don't stress too much about it. I meant to pack a bag with both of mine and never really did. I just threw a pair of pajamas and a brush in a bag at the last minute and that was it.

    lol I'm pretty sure stress is my middle name right now. I over think everything and panic over every little thing. SO jokingly asks where my off button is lol.
  • marieamethyst
    marieamethyst Posts: 869 Member
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    I didn't breastfeed twice (first time due to medication, second time because I just didn't want to) and my midwife told me to bring tight sports bras to help. I also saved the free nursing pads I got, stuck them in the freezer, and shoved them into my sports bras when engorgement did happen. Helped so much with the discomfort! (Sudafed helps too if it doesn't interfere with your medication, the good stuff they keep behind the counter - it should dry you out faster. Also stay away from warm water and anything that encourages more milk production. It's uncomfortable for maybe a week then they're pretty much back to "normal")

    Good luck either way! :)
  • FreyasRebirth
    FreyasRebirth Posts: 514 Member
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    I would bring more than one outfit to bring baby home in. First, they're messy. Second, sometimes they don't exactly fit into Newborn size. One of my sons did, the other was too big for the outfit we brought. I did nurse and found a nursing tanktop and button down shirt to be pretty awesome at keeping the rest of me covered/warm.
  • SusanMFindlay
    SusanMFindlay Posts: 1,804 Member
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    Even if you're not planning to breastfeed, you'll want skin-to-skin snuggle time with baby. A button down shirt or similar makes that easier.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    I would bring more than one outfit to bring baby home in. First, they're messy. Second, sometimes they don't exactly fit into Newborn size. One of my sons did, the other was too big for the outfit we brought. I did nurse and found a nursing tanktop and button down shirt to be pretty awesome at keeping the rest of me covered/warm.

    Good to know
  • ronjsteele1
    ronjsteele1 Posts: 1,064 Member
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    While an episiotomy seems really unpleasant, realize that it is far easier for the doctors to repair a purposeful incision than an accidental tear. Not trying to discount your wishes, but I speak from experience.

    If you are definitely against the episiotomy, make a definite plan with your midwife for how you are going to avoid needing one--this usually means taking it very slow which isn't always easy.

    It depends on the woman I guess, because I had a third degree tear with my first and the OB had no problem stitching me back up and I recovered just fine. (Didn't even tear a tiny bit with my second baby) A friend who had an episiotomy had to have additional work because of the way she was cut and was stitched up. All of the OBs/midwives I had with my babies said it's better to tear naturally and reserve cutting to when it's absolutely needed, and that was the general procedure at the hospitals.

    Even after a third degree tear I'd rather tear again than go through an episiotomy, so I'm glad the medical teams I had respected that. (@elphie754 - Just make it clear when you get to the hospital; I said no cutting unless there was no other option and they were in full agreement with my wish :) )

    ^^^^This^^^^ Yep. More likely to tear all the way to the perineum with an episiotomy. My doctor used olive oil and mineral oil with massage to avoid doing them.