Husband Help

ibelevinme
ibelevinme Posts: 3 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi all,
I've just recently started a low carb (trying to get in to the Keto way) lifestyle and my husband isn't in to it at all. We've always gone out to dinner a couple of times a week and now I don't want to but he does. We've been out three times this week and it's difficult for me to stick to what I'm trying to do. Last night we went to a friend's house and they served Lasagna, salad and Italian bread. What was I to do? Anyway, I'm looking for advice on how to do this and keep the old man happy too. Thanks!

Replies

  • ibelevinme
    ibelevinme Posts: 3 Member
    I agree, Relser, I don't want to change him. Just me. My motivation for doing Keto/low carb is because I was looking for something that I could do. I'm 55 and sit behind a desk all day. If there are other options that I should try, please someone let me know. I need to lose the fat around my belly as it's the worst kind of fat to have. Thanks - keep the help coming :)
  • ibelevinme
    ibelevinme Posts: 3 Member
    Thanks so much for the replies - that helps a lot!
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,557 Member
    ibelevinme wrote: »
    I agree, Relser, I don't want to change him. Just me. My motivation for doing Keto/low carb is because I was looking for something that I could do. I'm 55 and sit behind a desk all day. If there are other options that I should try, please someone let me know. I need to lose the fat around my belly as it's the worst kind of fat to have. Thanks - keep the help coming :)

    I'm 50 and also have a desk job.

    When I was 48, I decided to lose weight and did it by simply tracking my calories and eating fewer calories than I burned. This gives me the freedom to eat what I want to eat. :)

    I entered my information into MFP, chose sedentary as my activity level, and chose to lose 0.5 kg per week. MFP gave me 1250 cal.

    It helps that I incorporate exercise throughout my day, which I log and which gives me extra calories to work with.

    I walk as part of my commute.
    I walk at lunch.
    I climb stairs periodically throughout the day at work - usually 25 flights a day.
    I walk with my husband after work ... it's our daily "mini date". :) Sometimes we cycle and if we do, then we can swing by Subway for dinner.
    On weekends I do quite a lot of exercise which gives me the freedom to eat all sorts of things. :grin:
  • Ming1951
    Ming1951 Posts: 514 Member
    ibelevinme wrote: »
    Hi all,
    I've just recently started a low carb (trying to get in to the Keto way) lifestyle and my husband isn't in to it at all. We've always gone out to dinner a couple of times a week and now I don't want to but he does. We've been out three times this week and it's difficult for me to stick to what I'm trying to do. Last night we went to a friend's house and they served Lasagna, salad and Italian bread. What was I to do? Anyway, I'm looking for advice on how to do this and keep the old man happy too. Thanks!

    Well thats difficult as you don't really want to change your social life too. Maybe you can do a combination of low carb with a calorie reduction. Put your stats in and see the right about of calories for you to lose. Then log everything. Eat most low carb foods, you can do that at restaurants and if you go to a friends, as someone else said eat only a small portion and mostly salad.
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    I'm not a fan of low carb either. Besides it making exercise more difficult, it tends to make people cranky. That's probably not a good thing if your husband isn't supportive of what you are doing. I've never had to deal with this with a wife but one of my memories of my childhood was that my mother seemed to be constantly on a diet. I remember her doing a lot of talking about the diet but she never seemed to be getting anywhere with it. This was a great frustration for me.

    So, here's my suggestion:
    • Don't talk about how many calories or carbs your food has in it.
    • If you lose weight, say something, if you don't, don't mention it unless he asks.
    • Find a physical activity that you and your husband enjoy and do it.
    • Don't allow your diet to make it difficult for your husband to do the things he enjoys doing.
  • Chadxx
    Chadxx Posts: 1,199 Member
    ibelevinme wrote: »
    I agree, Relser, I don't want to change him. Just me. My motivation for doing Keto/low carb is because I was looking for something that I could do. I'm 55 and sit behind a desk all day. If there are other options that I should try, please someone let me know. I need to lose the fat around my belly as it's the worst kind of fat to have. Thanks - keep the help coming :)

    Absolutely there is another option, the only one that truly works. Just eat fewer calories than you burn. That is it. That is the whole secret to losing weight. Find foods that you enjoy and that keep you satisfied and eat fewer calories of them than you burn and you WILL be successful.
  • Alicia_Nh
    Alicia_Nh Posts: 3 Member
    edited January 2017
    I try for somewhat low carb (25 to 35% with the same for protein) while my husband loves all things pasta, rice, fast food etc! But so far its working great. I find lower carbs combined with real food has very much controlled my between meal cravings and overall hunger.
    I sub veggies for processed carbs at restaurants, like brocolli instead of pasta with chicken marsala or Bolognese sauce, skip rice with chinese food (nonbreaded veggie and protien) rich and get terriyaki sticks instead of chicken fingers (I still dip in duck sauce tho-life worth living and all).
    At home i make rutabaga pasta with a spiral slicer for spaghetti night (if i have time i will make real pasta for him). Most meals are just meat n veggies. if there is leftover pasta or rice in the fridge he might have some as a side, but if he really wants something i dont cook, thats on him. I make loads of Crock pot roasts, birds, etc using rutabega, parsnips, onions and carrots instead of potatoes - its delish and gets rave reviews. He barely notices lower carbs with the crockpot meals.
    Also, for fast food, mcdonalds grilled salads with your own dressing is my trick. Full fat greek yogurt mixed with salsa, cilantro, salt, pepper and splenda makes a great taste alike southwest dressing if i prepare ahead, otherwise, two small containers of olive oil and vinegar in the purse (ziplocked) keeps me away from the cheap-oil and sugar-loaded processed dressings.
    Eating at friends is the trickiest. I just try to work out hard earlier in the day and keep my cals, esp carbs, low - and bring a protein/veggy side so i will have something i can count on. Then just sample the host's food and enjoy the evening.
    Oh, and allow 1 drink, but make it last! With something like a mojito, i will refill with water and re-use the glass with mint to stay festive
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    jcc4 wrote: »
    At some point you make the decision that your goal of getting healthy is more important than offending someone. We go over to dinner at my in-laws fairly regularly and my MIL is a great cook but she uses more butter and oil than I could eat. So.. I started packing my meals. At first everyone thought I was crazy or being extreme , some even thought it was disrespectful but as I lost weight and we continued, they realized that it was really important goal for me and that it was more about enjoying each other's company than eating the food. She even got to the point where she would call us and let us know what was on the menu so we would know if we needed to pack our own meals and once she understood she would make sure that she had a salad or grilled/roasted veggies that we could eat. Then again, my MIL is an amazing woman and very supportive of us! The restaurant is easy just tell them how you want the meat and veggies prepared and tell them to hold the starch. Good luck!

    This is amazing. Communication does it all. Your mother in law is a lovely lady.
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    ibelevinme wrote: »
    I agree, Relser, I don't want to change him. Just me. My motivation for doing Keto/low carb is because I was looking for something that I could do. I'm 55 and sit behind a desk all day. If there are other options that I should try, please someone let me know. I need to lose the fat around my belly as it's the worst kind of fat to have. Thanks - keep the help coming :)

    Most people, including the experts, suggest that how you eat when you're losing weight is how you need to eat when you maintain that weight loss. So if you can stick to low carb as a way of eating you'll need to adapt. Order off the menu according to your plan. When going to a friends house ask if you can bring something. Eat a little before you go. IF I was on a restrictive diet like low carb that's what I would do.

    I tried Atkins years ago, I lost 45 lbs then promptly gained 55 lbs because it's not how I want to eat forever. I now eat the foods I like within my calorie goal. This is sustainable for me. Nothing will change when I get to goal weight except I get to eat a few hundred more calories.

    Hope this helps!
  • nvmomketo
    nvmomketo Posts: 12,019 Member
    If you do decide to stay low carb, join the Low Carber Daily MFP group for support and recipes. They're a good bunch. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/394-low-carber-daily-forum-the-lcd-group

    I eat very low carb but no one in my family does. My husband's carb intake has gone down to moderate carb since I cut my carbs below 30g per day, but he is metabollically very healthy and does not have a need to reduce carbs and sugar like I do. The same goes for my kids. I still cook keto friendly though.

    Last night we had a pork roast, gravy, mashed potatoes, some left over sweet potatoes and a brocoli and cheese casserole. I ate the pork with a small bit of gravy, the broccoli casserole and a small serving of sweet potato. The day before was tacos. The family used taco shells, and a side of rice. My "taco" was a bowl of ground beef with seasonings, a bit of refined beans, cheese, sour cream, and avocado.

    I rarely eat out (due to celiac disease) but when I do it is pretty easy. Veggies, a meat and a salad is perfect. If being served something like lasagne, I may have a bigger serving of salad and a small serving of the noodles.

    I've been doing this quite a while, and have lost weight doing it, so my loved ones and friends are quite supportive of me if I eat a bit "picky" by skipping a potato or bread.

    Good luck.
  • MrsKila
    MrsKila Posts: 320 Member
    ^^^^^^^^^This. :)
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    The best way of eating is one you can stick to.

    I eat whatever keeps me satisified within my calorie limit.

    Some days that's lots of carbs (before a long run), some days that's high fat, and all meals have protein. Nearly every day that's chocolate and alcohol. I've lost 80 lbs and kept it off for 9 months this way.
  • rabbitlvr_
    rabbitlvr_ Posts: 24 Member
    edited January 2017
    I think it's difficult for the OP to lose weight even by going out to eat every day. I'm aware that a caloric deficit is the key to weight loss, but there are some differences between making food at home and eating restaurant food.

    If the OP needs to eat as an example, 1400 calories to lose weight, it means cooking from home can allow her to have 3- 400 calorie meals, with 2 snacks 100 calories each. A meal at a restaurant can easily be 500-600 calories, and that includes the "lighter" advertised meals (which I don't always trust those counts). If she were to go out to dinner a few times a week, that's potentially taking calories away from other meals, or eliminating a snack from her day. Restaurant meals are always higher calorie, including the salads. My husband was extremely resistant when I first started to lose weight and changed my eating habits, although I didn't ask him to join me. However, practicality won in the end because it saves money to not go out to eat.

    TonyB made a good suggestion, too.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    It's actually not hard to go out to eat at all. You just have to be in the right mindset. I went to Red Robin last week, and was able to keep it under 500 calories! I had the simply grilled chicken breast - no bun, but kept the rabbit food - ordered honey mustard sauce to dip the chicken in, and a side of Italian to dip the "rabbit food" in - gave most of my fries to my daughter who gave me some of her apple slices.

    I love going to steak houses too. 6 oz sirloin - baked potato with a little butter - sliced tomatoes with a side of Italian dressing.

    A bariatric dietician told me if I focus on the protein, the fats/carbs will take care of themselves, and I've found that to be pretty accurate. It's all about choosing your protein first, then choosing your doom with carbs. Baked potatoes are better than fries or mashed potatoes. Try your luck with sweet potatoes too - they seem to be the rage these days.

    Regarding your husband's lack of enthusiasm - it took my husband about 6 months to "jump on the wagon" with me. Remember this is your journey, not his. Don't wait for him to come along. Nobody likes change, and yes, nobody likes to change alone, but the world still turns whether we do it alone or whether those we wish to join us do or not.

    The only thing you can do meanwhile is to do things that will make your life easier along the way.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    ibelevinme wrote: »
    I agree, Relser, I don't want to change him. Just me. My motivation for doing Keto/low carb is because I was looking for something that I could do. I'm 55 and sit behind a desk all day. If there are other options that I should try, please someone let me know. I need to lose the fat around my belly as it's the worst kind of fat to have. Thanks - keep the help coming :)

    you cant spot reduce fat,it comes off where it wants and as long as you are in a calorie deficit it will come off eventually,doesnt matter what or how you eat,just have to be in a deficit. although Im not saying eat all the "junk food"(loosely labeled junk),but a deficit is what matters. I eat all kinds of carbs and lose fat(thanks to a deficit). Im 42 and it has taken me 4+ years to lose most of the belly fat. still have fat in other places but I had a LOT of it. if you want to eat low carb/keto thats fine and your choice. just make sure you are in a deficit as its not a special way of eating to lose weight.

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