How do you find motivation when you are grieving?

crystalsan726
crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
edited December 19 in Motivation and Support
Trying to get my motivation back. After having 2 miscarriages back to back it is so hard. I just had my last D&C surgery right before Christmas. Which has made a total of 3 D&C surgeries since July. My last miscarriage I had to have 2 D&C surgeries. My body has been traumatized and after having an infection after surgery I am still trying to recover. I have been trying to eat right to no avail. My mind just isn't in it and I am afraid this is the final nail in the coffin so to speak on my weight loss journey. I don't know how to get motivated again. :'(

Replies

  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Honestly, your emotional well-being is more important than your fitness right now. Take some time to regroup. I've never had a miscarriage, but I can imagine how it would destroy me.

    however, as you have more time to grieve, keep in mind that exercise is the best natural way to counter depression. So give yourself a few weeks to mourn, then ease into something light, like a brisk walk, to help elevate your mood. And build from there.

    Good luck!
  • crystalsan726
    crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
    AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »
    Honestly, your emotional well-being is more important than your fitness right now. Take some time to regroup. I've never had a miscarriage, but I can imagine how it would destroy me.

    however, as you have more time to grieve, keep in mind that exercise is the best natural way to counter depression. So give yourself a few weeks to mourn, then ease into something light, like a brisk walk, to help elevate your mood. And build from there.

    Good luck!

    Thank you for the advice. Maybe that is why I have been craving exercise lately. I physically can't do it yet but as soon as I get cleared from my doctor I am going to try to start walking again.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I understand how you feel. I lost two babies as well. One miscarriage and one stillborn.

    When our son was stillborn I thought I would never be able to function properly again, I didn't want to do anything, but gradually life returned and then one day I looked in the mirror and realised that I needed to start caring about myself again. For the sake of my husband and the people who cared about me and needed me.

    I had really let myself go. So first thing I did was get a haircut and my nails done then I started to lose weight and exercise it really did help.

    Be kind to yourself right now AllOutof_Bubblegum is right. You will know when the time is right to start moving forward.

  • crystalsan726
    crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
    manderson27 wrote: »
    I understand how you feel. I lost two babies as well. One miscarriage and one stillborn.

    When our son was stillborn I thought I would never be able to function properly again, I didn't want to do anything, but gradually life returned and then one day I looked in the mirror and realised that I needed to start caring about myself again. For the sake of my husband and the people who cared about me and needed me.

    I had really let myself go. So first thing I did was get a haircut and my nails done then I started to lose weight and exercise it really did help.

    Be kind to yourself right now AllOutof_Bubblegum is right. You will know when the time is right to start moving forward.

    Thank you!
  • jyvonne27
    jyvonne27 Posts: 91 Member
    I am so sorry for what you're going through. I had 2 mc recently, one in July and then just last week. Not only does it throw you off emotionally but it wrecked havoc on my hormones and body too, especially the one in July as I was further along. That one really sent me into a spiral of emotional eating, and I'm still fighting the urge everyday. What helps me is my Fitbit and walking, and meal prepping.
  • crystalsan726
    crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
    jyvonne27 wrote: »
    I am so sorry for what you're going through. I had 2 mc recently, one in July and then just last week. Not only does it throw you off emotionally but it wrecked havoc on my hormones and body too, especially the one in July as I was further along. That one really sent me into a spiral of emotional eating, and I'm still fighting the urge everyday. What helps me is my Fitbit and walking, and meal prepping.

    I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for the tips. I am still having problems physically from surgery hopefully once I am completely healed I can start walking again. I know what you mean about emotional eating I am still having a problem with that myself. Wishing you luck with your healing and recovery
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Be kind to yourself. I lost a pregnancy over Xmas a few years ago too. Let others look after you and care for yourself, and exercise and good eating can be part of that.
  • Theo166
    Theo166 Posts: 2,564 Member
    What do you mean you try to eat right, but to no avail?

    I'd just focus on tracking what you are eating. The awareness will lead to appropriate changes, little by little, bit by bit.

    I'm sorry for you loss, please ensure you aren't withdrawing from friends, family and community stuff that can give you connection and some distraction.
  • crystalsan726
    crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
    Theo166 wrote: »
    What do you mean you try to eat right, but to no avail?

    I'd just focus on tracking what you are eating. The awareness will lead to appropriate changes, little by little, bit by bit.

    I'm sorry for you loss, please ensure you aren't withdrawing from friends, family and community stuff that can give you connection and some distraction.

    I mean I start out eating right and then bomb. Some days I try and others I don't. I have been house bound because physically I can't sit up or stand up for long periods of time. I still talk to my family and friends and watch my church services online. I am making progress physically it is just taking me a long time to physically heal
  • Theo166
    Theo166 Posts: 2,564 Member
    edited January 2017
    Maybe clean out the cupboards of all the stuff you really want to avoid, it will limit how naughty you can be when you go off-plan. Hope you can get out of the house again soon.
  • crystalsan726
    crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
    Thanks
  • jyvonne27
    jyvonne27 Posts: 91 Member
    Have you thought about tracking at maintenance for a month or so? Keep yourself in the habit of tracking and logging, but without the pressure of restricted calories. Maybe you could get some motivation by rewarding yourself for x amount of days of logging in and tracking?

    On a side note, do you know what caused your losses? I'm going through testing right now and the wait is killing me.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,600 Member
    crystalsan726 wrote: »
    Update- I was blessed with a rainbow baby.!! A sweet little boy who is now a year old. He is my miracle baby. Before I found out I was pregnant with him I was 10 pounds away from my goal weight.

    I am now trying to get the after baby weight off(I lost weight while I was pregnant by quitting sugar after i had him i went nuts on the sugar and gained a lot of weight. I was smaller when I was pregnant than I am now) and have lost 17.4 pounds so far. I am still a long way from my goal but I will get there!

    Congratulations: What a happy report. Thank you for coming back to tell us. Best wishes to you, and your sweet little boy! :smile:
  • Shortgirlrunning
    Shortgirlrunning Posts: 1,020 Member
    @crystalsan726 - Congrats on your precious rainbow baby!!
  • crystalsan726
    crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    crystalsan726 wrote: »
    Update- I was blessed with a rainbow baby.!! A sweet little boy who is now a year old. He is my miracle baby. Before I found out I was pregnant with him I was 10 pounds away from my goal weight.

    I am now trying to get the after baby weight off(I lost weight while I was pregnant by quitting sugar after i had him i went nuts on the sugar and gained a lot of weight. I was smaller when I was pregnant than I am now) and have lost 17.4 pounds so far. I am still a long way from my goal but I will get there!

    Congratulations: What a happy report. Thank you for coming back to tell us. Best wishes to you, and your sweet little boy! :smile:
    Shortgirlrunning wrote: »
    @crystalsan726 - Congrats on your precious rainbow baby!!

    Thank you both so much!!
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,333 Member
    Grief takes it own time. It is a process and you will get through it. I know it feels like it will never go away..but it will
    Be kind to yourself..give yourself some self love. Do whatever it takes to invite some kind of joy into your life. All you can do is give it a try different things, until you discover what offers you some kind of escape. Slowly your desire to exercise and eat right will return. A healthy fit you means you can explore all options to become the mother you deserve to become.
  • innaa1789
    innaa1789 Posts: 19 Member
    crystalsan726 wrote: »
    Update- I was blessed with a rainbow baby.!! A sweet little boy who is now a year old. He is my miracle baby. Before I found out I was pregnant with him I was 10 pounds away from my goal weight.

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! 😃 This made my night, reading the update to your post! Enjoy your sweet precious boy. Children are such a blessing.

  • crystalsan726
    crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
    edited May 2020
    @innaa1789 -Thank you so much for your sweet comment! I appreciate it! 😊
  • Curvybaja55
    Curvybaja55 Posts: 114 Member
    I cry when I read about your loss, but I am so happy to read about the birth of you sweet boy. God bless you and your family.
  • crystalsan726
    crystalsan726 Posts: 795 Member
    Curvybaja55 wrote: »
    I cry when I read about your loss, but I am so happy to read about the birth of you sweet boy. God bless you and your family.

    Thank you so much for your kind words!
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