Be my relationship role model!

Be respectful. When you argue, keep it above board. No cussing, calling him out of his name, no making him feel small. Brag about him to his friends. Conspicuously ignore the one staring at your cleavage and smelling your hair when he gives you a too long hello hug.

Be enjoyable to be around. Put a smile on your face and stop complaining. Be playful. Touch a lot. Don't talk a lot.

Enjoy sex. And have lots of it. But only with him, obviously.

Pray together.

Have a life. Putting the onus on your partner to be everything and everything to you is unfair and men feel smothered by neediness. On the other hand, don't have so much of a life that he feels sidelined. Many men have this feeling once women have kids and feel like their woman is more interested in the kids than him.

Let him think you need him to open a jar or get something off a high shelf. Ego, baby.

Forgive. That's the biggest and hardest. But if you are in a relationship for many many years, you will disappoint him and vice versa at some point. You can quit and get someone better who, after many many years, he will also disappoint you and you, him. People are people. Our notions of romantic relationships is actually a model of perfection, of which we all fall short. And add to that, it's highly unrealistic, given the reality we see all the time around us, but still whine about how the man/woman they get better be superhumanly perfect.

Notice patterns. Do you always have a fight before your period? Do you feel neglected during football season? Do you get busy during certain work cycles/seasons and he feels neglected? Is he cranky during certain times of the day or after certain activities? Instead of railing against "emotional weather," work with it. Take an umbrella, dress warm, wear shorts, whatever. Notice the patterns and work around them, not against them. If you know you are a cranky b before your morning coffee, don't talk about anything until after breakfast.

Stand up for yourself. Call him out if he oversteps with you, and do it early. Make it known you are to be respected.

Make him go out of his way. Have him open doors, take you to pricey dinners, make him want to impress you. Don't let him get comfortable. My hubs keeps my car gassed up for me and valets it when I come home after dark. They actually like this stuff for some reason. Don't ask me why, but they do.

Go out of your way. Cook. Clean. Get dolled up. Do the stuff he likes in the bedroom to your level of comfort. Suffer through stupid movies like Starship Troopers. And if your politics/social justice warrioring/sports opinions differ, realize he has the same right to his opinion as you do yours. So let him have it without belittling it.

I'm not a relationship expert by any means, but I am realistic. Long term relationships are hard and worth the effort. I highly recommend it, if you can do the work.

The advice I'd like from married men is this: how much should the man feel secure/jealous? I notice that in relationships if men are too jealous they act nuts, and if they are too secure they get complacent. There is some kind of balance that men seem to need other men to desire their woman and yet not feel worried she's stepping out on him.

I've always had men interested which keeps my man on his toes, but since I got more religious and had kids, I keep my distance from male friendships to stay away from temptation. I realized he was more into me when I had male friends he could scare off. But lately my gym going and dieting has my hubs randomly showing up mid day and making comments about why I need to get jazzed up to go out by myself. Do I calm him down, or feed it with the comments I get from the men I encounter?

OP, so that should show you - I've been with the same man for all of my adult life and I still don't have it all figured out.

And women who are married longer than me ask me what the secret is. And I'm like, I was going to ask you!

No one has it all figured out.