120lbs lost

Thank you all so much! There has been no other community as supportive, helpful, or inspiring as this one. Seriously. (:

Somedays it's hard to believe I actually did it. But the most important thing I did was realize I'm worth my self-love regardless of what I look like. (:

Euclidus wrote: »

I love the way you write! Also, what is your tattoo!? It looks awesome! (So do you, by the way!)

@Euclidus - Thank you! Writing is something I enjoy (as you can likely tell by the novels I write, hah!). That means a lot to me (:

A long thing I wrote a while ago on fb about my unfinished sleeve (:

Please note: this sleeve is vastly unfinished and a definite work in progress so it doesn’t look super great right now but it’s getting there! This is going to be a long explanation but there’s some pretty personal meanings behind my tattoos.

My skull with the galaxy where the brain would be: “I don’t want to believe, I want to know” – Carl Sagan. I’ve been fascinated with the stars and have been starstruck since I was a child. I can recall sitting outside at night for hours and sneaking out after my parents went to bed just to lay in our backyard (we lived on a farm in the country so the stars were so bright out there) and watch them. I was always plagued on figuring out the answers to the questions humans have been asking since the beginning of time: How did we get here, why are we here, what purpose do we serve, are there others out there, is this the only “universe” or is there a multiverse? This tattoo represents the universe being within me, radiating, constantly on my mind, driving me to study it and research. I’m in school for physics currently and hope to spend my life doing just that.

The words “I will take you to Saturn.” I’ve been in some dark places over the past few years. Dealing with demons and taking them head on. Trying to make sense of a past I’ve been running from since the day certain things happened. On one particular day, it was rough. I wanted to jump out of my skin and just exist in the stars – being human was too much that day. And I came home to a note written by my boyfriend that said, “I will take you to Saturn.” Saturn has always been my favorite planet – it’s the planet of Karma. Saturn tells us to work hard, have discipline and responsibility but there’s no limit – so if we want to take on the world, we can. It’s about life lessons, structures, perseverance, traditions, and withstanding the test of time. So when he wrote those words without even knowing how much they would mean, I knew someday I would need them again. And I have, several times. And they are inked on my skin to withstand the test of time, reminding me to stand firm and that life is about lessons. It’s also why I got the planet Saturn tattooed on my elbow (ouch).

What everyone calls a star is really Carl Sagan’s pulsar map on my inner elbow: Carl Sagan created a “map” to show where “home” is in the Milky Way galaxy. Earth is our only home, it’s all we know, and all we have. And I'm wildly in love with this planet. I love the way it feels under my feet, I love the way it takes care of us even when we treat it poorly.

Uranus on my forearm: erratic and bizarre behaviors, freedom and creativity, originality, etc. Science is important in Uranus (if you study astrology which I don’t follow completely; however, I find it fascinating) and science is my entire life. It’s what I live for, what I think and dream about, what pulses through my veins. Uranus wants to break from traditions which is a contrast with Saturn; however, breaking free from those restrictions is what I struggle with. Rebellion, revolutions, free will. It’s everything I was and everything I’m trying to be. Mixed in with a bit of Saturn and it would define my existence.

Molecules: building blocks for everything.

Next: a galaxy with one of the arms spinning into a strand of DNA which will have the amino acid strand attached. The amino acid strand is everything we are made of. We are starstuff and that’s what the amino acid sequence represents.

the rest of the sleeve will consist of miscellaneous galaxies and stars filling it but these tattoos are me, they represent who I am, the struggles I’ve endured, the pain I am facing, and the journey I’m on. They represent my undying love for the sciences, the need to know, and the craving to learn. They represent love, passions, and what it is to be human.

It’s me. In art form, in ink, on my skin.