My BF said i am too fat!

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  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Yes I dont want to jump to conclusions here - what you heard him say made you upset, and quite right too.

    But what did he actually mean to say? We know men have a tough time communicating, and diplomacy doesn't' come naturally to them. So maybe he was suggesting that other styles suit you better? I know I'd find it hard to carry off the tight ruching of that dress, but without seeing it on YOU it's not easy to tell.

    Was this an unexpected comment, or does he often say things that upset you? Is he supportive of your lifestyle change? Time to talk to him honestly and explain how you feel.
  • kanonxbou47
    kanonxbou47 Posts: 265 Member
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    Dump him.
    Does he often say stuff like that to you? It could be emotional abuse.
    150 pounds is really not fat.
    If my significant other said something like that to me, they would regret it. Very much.
  • beccau_20
    beccau_20 Posts: 191 Member
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    Yes that was the wrong thing to say to the OP. What if he has a point? What if the dress doesn't fit her and she just looks ridiculous in it?

    Okay, he doesn't have to LIE, but he doesn't need to call her fat. My husband tells me when things don't look good on me without calling me fat and I am actually fat.
  • Andythefitfamilyman
    Andythefitfamilyman Posts: 420
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    If I said that too my wife I would lose the twig and berries really fast lol
  • Fattack
    Fattack Posts: 666 Member
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    Yes, he was rude and insensitive, but sometimes men don't know how to sugar coat it. That said, my boyfriend wouldn't dream of hurting my feelings like that because he knows how sensitive I am about my weight. But people are different, and maybe he was just trying to help in his own strange way.

    OP: If you want the dress and it makes you feel good, then go for it!

    As an aside, to those of you saying 150lbs isn't fat, that depends on your height. I'm 138, but at 5'0'' I still am distinctly chunky!
  • CARNAT22
    CARNAT22 Posts: 764 Member
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    I am not defending your BF OP as it is just damn rude for him to say what he did and if he often makes remarks like that I suggest you think long and hard about your future with him!

    However I often ask my OH's opinion on clothes and I tell him to be totally honest - so I don't get upset if he doesn't like what I am wearing (my OH has awful taste though and wold have me dressed likea street walker if he had his way LOL!!)
  • jade_85
    jade_85 Posts: 96
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    OMG what an insensitive pig. if that was me i would dump him there are ways of saying things and that is just RUDE and HORIIBLE. u r no way fat and i agree with the rest x
  • notoriousgtt
    notoriousgtt Posts: 75 Member
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    Just to play devils advocate, but it might have been a particularly ill fitting dress? Perhaps it didn't suit her body shape? Perhaps she had been giving him a hard time and he said it out of spite?

    I think people who are telling her to dump her fella are not looking at the long term, one comment is not reason for ending a relationship and if you people seriously think that it is then thank god I'm not your partner!

    Yes, it was not the cleverest thing to say but we are men, we do not do sensitive. I'm sure it would have been better if he kept his mouth shut but lets not encourage the girl to over react.
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
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    If he is not happy with your size, why is he with you?
    But, like someone said on here, if he just was being a man and did not mean harm to it, maybe just explain to him how you feel.
  • heatherelise84
    heatherelise84 Posts: 7
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    I agree.....Lose the BF. Thats BS.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    that was mean. I'm sorry he said that. The dress is very pretty and ruching is usually very flattering. Wear it despite him and enjoy compliments from potential new boyfriends :)

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